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Am I Being Fickle or Am I Settling?

"Am I Being Fickle or Am I Settling?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have an amazing boyfriend. He's smart, confident, has a great personality, and always makes me laugh. He's got his life in order, a great job, a car, and a house. The only down side is that I'm not all physically attracted to him. He's quite short and hair is receding (he's only 32). PLEASE do not knock me on that — I love him and can find him adorable and handsome. It's just it's not the image I had thought of when I dreamed of my future man.

When we began our relationship, he mentioned that he's not interested in marrying anytime soon. I was relieved as I have had many attempts of previous ex-boyfriends bringing up marriage, and I'm just not ready (now I'm 26). Recently, though, he's dropped hints that his mind has changed. He would like children in the next three years. He even winked and said we "might be official sooner than I think!" I cringed but didn't reply, "Um, no!" With all his comments, I gave a slight forced smile, but obviously wasn't ecstatic about it.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for marriage. I mean — if there was one to be with, he'd be a good candidate. I'm admitting I'm not ready and I'm not jumping up and down at the idea of being with him forever, so does this automatically mean I shouldn't consider him for marriage? If so, do I continue with the relationship, but make it clear I'm not looking for marriage? Maybe I'll change my mind 2 years from now, but maybe I won't?

I've always been a fickle woman. I hate making life changing decisions, especially with relationships. I don't want to toy with this man, but I don't want to let him go. Maybe I'm being stupid, and he really is someone I should hold on to. Ladies, have you felt this way? Have any advice?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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