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Advice For Making Friends After a Move

Group Therapy: How Do I Make New Friends After a Move?

by Tres Community 20

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Hi! So I just moved to Florida 4 months ago and I haven't made any friends yet. I'm really shy, so that doesn't help! I'm 22, so I'm no longer in school. (All of my friends back home I made in school.) I'm a graphic designer, and I work at an ad agency. I've made a few "work friends," but I need people to hang out with outside of work! I've tried Craigslist but that's going nowhere fast. I like art, dance, the beach, music, animals, social drinking, going out to eat.

Any tips would be appreciated!

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20 Comments

Fashion Effort Fashion Effort
In this first impression you already are an outgoing person, you have a few people that commented you already, you just have to be your self, when you less expected the friends that you need are right there, I believe your not alone.
cambrianoelle cambrianoelle
I HIGHLY recommend trying meetup.com - it might take a couple of groups to belong to to find some people you TRULY click with, but when I moved to Dallas, I seriously met the best friends of my LIFE through that group. It was such a life saver for all of us involved, and you meet people of similar interests/in similar places in their lives, so it's just good all around. My first meetup event seriously felt like I was going to my first day of high school, but I'm SO happy I went. And it might take going to a couple of events before you realize you can actually have a friendship with someone, so I recommend really giving it a try. Good luck!
BrownEyedBabe BrownEyedBabe
I volunteered at the local animal shelter and began taking fitness classes to get out of the house and meet new people. You may not meet a bunch of new friends to go out with but it will get you out of the house and you will have fun! I've met a lot of new people just by going to concerts, even the guy i'm currently dating. Find something you're passionate about and you're bound to find people with similar interests. Good luck! Moving away to a new place where you don't know anyone can be a little scary at first. Keep your chin up!
KeLynns KeLynns
#1, what everyone else said - sign up for a zillion classes/activities/clubs. It will fill up your calendar so you're not sitting at home being lonely all night, and you'll meet lots of people. #2 (and this is only something I recently realized), show up early to the classes! Not super early, just get there 5-10 minutes before the class starts, and use that time to talk to the people around you. Introduce yourself, ask if they've been coming to that class long, tell them you're a newbie and ask for tips, blah blah blah. You'll kind of be buddies through the whole class and probably share a joke or two. Then after class, say "bye!" - then next week, you'll show up and she'll be there again and you'll say "hey! How are you?" and BAM you are friends now. I'm kinda pissed it took me so long to realize the value of showing up to things early.
KeLynns KeLynns
#1, what everyone else said - sign up for a zillion classes/activities/clubs. It will fill up your calendar so you're not sitting at home being lonely all night, and you'll meet lots of people.#2 (and this is only something I recently realized), show up early to the classes! Not super early, just get there 5-10 minutes before the class starts, and use that time to talk to the people around you. Introduce yourself, ask if they've been coming to that class long, tell them you're a newbie and ask for tips, blah blah blah. You'll kind of be buddies through the whole class and probably share a joke or two. Then after class, say "bye!" - then next week, you'll show up and she'll be there again and you'll say "hey! How are you?" and BAM you are friends now. I'm kinda pissed it took me so long to realize the value of showing up to things early.
mix tape mix tape
Welcome to Florida new resident! I totally feel your situation. I am a recent college grad and while I remained in the same town and am currently getting my master's, most of my friends left. My only friends are my boyfriend and a couple of people in my small program. I live in Tallahassee. If you are near you should message me! Otherwise, I suggest joining a club of sorts. Maybe you always wanted to learn how to knit, join a stitch 'n bitch group or learn to scuba dive! I made many friends doing that and Florida is one of the world's greatest places to dive. Being a born Floridian, I know first hand that some cities can be full of senior citizens leaving you feeling as if you can't possibly have fun. Trust me, there is a lot to explore. Have fun and good luck!
jesikah85 jesikah85
I live in Tampa now and this is not the easiest state to make friends in. It seems like everyone is from out of state and there isn't always a warm feel.
dahliadreamer dahliadreamer
As far as craigslist goes, I would suggest against it. I'm being a total hypocrite though, because I found my music producer there (kind of by accident), who eventually turned out to be my best friend and the love of my life. Internet has been branded as a place that is dangerous, which it is. But it's the new generation, and the truth of it is, not everyone is out to rape you! If you're much too shy to go out, internet sites are ok, but it doesn't hurt to be careful. As far as finding people in your area: coffee shops and libraries are great for shy people. Coincidentally, I met my old drummer of my last band, at the library! It's super easy to strike up a conversation, because all you have to do is ask, "Wow, that coffee smells really good, what is it? I'm new in town, what's good here?" or "Sorry to interrupt, but is that book any good? I've heard great things about it, but haven't had the chance to pick it up yet." Also, the comment about taking a class that interests you is always a great way to go! Not only do you find friends who enjoy similar interests as you, but you also learn something new, and that you enjoy! Kickboxing is super popular in my area, as is latin dancing. Find out what's fun and new in your town, and try it! You never know.
dahliadreamer dahliadreamer
As far as craigslist goes, I would suggest against it. I'm being a total hypocrite though, because I found my music producer there (kind of by accident), who eventually turned out to be my best friend and the love of my life. Internet has been branded as a place that is dangerous, which it is. But it's the new generation, and the truth of it is, not everyone is out to rape you! If you're much too shy to go out, internet sites are ok, but it doesn't hurt to be careful. As far as finding people in your area: coffee shops and libraries are great for shy people. Coincidentally, I met my old drummer of my last band, at the library! It's super easy to strike up a conversation, because all you have to do is ask, "Wow, that coffee smells really good, what is it? I'm new in town, what's good here?" or "Sorry to interrupt, but is that book any good? I've heard great things about it, but haven't had the chance to pick it up yet." Also, the comment about taking a class that interests you is always a great way to go! Not only do you find friends who enjoy similar interests as you, but you also learn something new, and that you enjoy! Kickboxing is super popular in my area, as is latin dancing. Find out what's fun and new in your town, and try it! You never know.
Orthey Orthey
I've met people on okcupid.com. It's primarily a dating site, but you can put in your profile that you're looking for activity partners. If you're interested in dating too, that is also a good site to start. All free! Btw i agree that Craigslist is pretty tricky, but I met a very good friend through there. I made my own quirky ad and it attracted some like minded people. I met up people at coffee shops and decided from there if I wanted to meet up again for shopping, lunch, etc. Hope this helps!
Orthey Orthey
I've met people on okcupid.com. It's primarily a dating site, but you can put in your profile that you're looking for activity partners.If you're interested in dating too, that is also a good site to start. All free!Btw i agree that Craigslist is pretty tricky, but I met a very good friend through there. I made my own quirky ad and it attracted some like minded people. I met up people at coffee shops and decided from there if I wanted to meet up again for shopping, lunch, etc.Hope this helps!
wolfpackgal wolfpackgal
Where in Florida are you? I'm planning on moving there in January, and my DREAM job is to work at an ad agency! PM me if you'd like! I've met a lot of friend through my boyfriend, like le romantique did, and we met online. I would try taking some classes, like others have said. Also, see if there are networking events that you can go to with work friends; maybe you'll meet some other people like you, but you won't have to work with them!
wolfpackgal wolfpackgal
Where in Florida are you? I'm planning on moving there in January, and my DREAM job is to work at an ad agency! PM me if you'd like! I've met a lot of friend through my boyfriend, like le romantique did, and we met online. I would try taking some classes, like others have said. Also, see if there are networking events that you can go to with work friends; maybe you'll meet some other people like you, but you won't have to work with them!
le romantique le romantique
The gym is great! Also, depending on your community, there are many gatherings around this time of year. Where in Florida? I live in St. Pete, it's GREAT for art/culture and it's surrounded by beaches! We have the Dali, The Chihuly, The Museum of Fine Art, and many boutique galleries. I moved here when I was 20, I'm 23 now and all my friends I made at work (it is SO hard to make friends post-college if you move!) But, I met my boyfriend online, we've been together for 2 years, he introduced me to some interesting people! If you're in the Tampa area, I'll show you around!
le romantique le romantique
The gym is great! Also, depending on your community, there are many gatherings around this time of year. Where in Florida? I live in St. Pete, it's GREAT for art/culture and it's surrounded by beaches! We have the Dali, The Chihuly, The Museum of Fine Art, and many boutique galleries. I moved here when I was 20, I'm 23 now and all my friends I made at work (it is SO hard to make friends post-college if you move!) But, I met my boyfriend online, we've been together for 2 years, he introduced me to some interesting people! If you're in the Tampa area, I'll show you around!
Vanonymous Vanonymous
Take up a dance class at a local studio or gym. You're bound to be surrounded by other people your age with similar interests. Good luck! Btw, I'd be a little hesitant to go the craigslist/personals route, but that's just me.
benheld benheld
I second volunteering, or even go to meet up dot com to find people with similar interests. You could also try joining a sports league--usually there's a game and then the teams go out to celebrate or commiserate afterwards. :)
missmaryb missmaryb
A lot of papers now have personals sections for people looking to make new friends (not just to find a relationship). Check to see if your area has one. I would also recommend joining something. Take a cake decorating class, or a photography class, or a scuba diving class or a zumba class...whatever floats your boat and puts you with people who share your interests. You could volunteer at a homeless shelter, an animal shelter, etc. And take a deep breath and start up some conversations. You may find others in your same boat.
Tri5280 Tri5280
Step outside of your box and do something you dont normally do, moving to a place where you know noone is a great opportunity to broaden your horizions and make friends with people who will open your eyes to new things. Also invite your friends from work for a drink after you get off, you never know if they may be awesome people outside of a cubicle. I will reccomend not getting crazy drunk to try and "boost your self esteem" thinking it will help you talk to people, Ive seen it plenty of times and it just makes me sad. Thants my advise!
Tri5280 Tri5280
Step outside of your box and do something you dont normally do, moving to a place where you know noone is a great opportunity to broaden your horizions and make friends with people who will open your eyes to new things. Also invite your friends from work for a drink after you get off, you never know if they may be awesome people outside of a cubicle.I will reccomend not getting crazy drunk to try and "boost your self esteem" thinking it will help you talk to people, Ive seen it plenty of times and it just makes me sad. Thants my advise!
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