Advice About Trusting a Guy

You Asked: Should I Trust Him?


Dear Sugar,

I've been seeing this guy for about a month. The other day I found out from a good friend that he has a girlfriend. When I asked him if it was true, he said it wasn't, so now I don't know who to believe or what to do. I can't stop thinking about him and I don't know if I can trust him. People are telling me to stop seeing him. I agree because I don't want to get hurt even more, but I can't help but think that he's telling the truth. What should I do?

— Confused About This Guy Grace

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Dear Confused About This Guy Grace,

Since you don't know your boyfriend very well, it's hard to say whether you can trust him or not. You approached him about what you heard (which is great, by the way) and he denied it, so he's either seeing someone behind your back and lying to your face, or your friend is wrong and he's telling the truth. To figure out what's going on, it may help to answer a few questions first. Have you both agreed to date each other exclusively? Is the good friend who told you this tidbit of information someone you can trust? Does this guy have a reputation for being a player? Has he done anything in the month you two have been dating to make you mistrust him? These answers will help you get to the bottom of whether or not you should continue seeing this guy.

My advice is to follow your heart and do what you feel is right. If you already don't trust him and aren't that into this relationship, then don't give this guy anymore of your time. If your heart says to believe him, then I'd continue dating him. You should definitely be a little cautious with your feelings though, and keep some emotional distance until you get to know him better. Also, be sure to continue open communication with him, and whenever you have a question or if something is bothering you, don't hesitate to bring it up. I hope things work out.

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