She may bare it all on the sex-filled, skin-filled Girls, but in 2005, the 27-year-old writer-filmmaker-actress Lena Dunham was just a 19-year-old virgin (like many of us), looking for some advice.
She may bare it all on the sex-filled, skin-filled Girls, but in 2005, the 27-year-old writer-filmmaker-actress Lena Dunham was just a 19-year-old virgin (like many of us), looking for some advice. In honor of throwback Thursday, she posted a series of clippings on Instagram — here, here, and here — illustrating her letter to Jamie Bufalino, the sexpert in Time Out NY, along with his response. Below are both her inquiry and his advice (which is quite sound). And Lena didn't have to wait too much longer; she had sex for the first time her sophomore year of college.
Q: I'm a 19-year-old girl who has been reading your column since its inception, and I've always wanted to write in. Well, I finally have a question. (What a rite of passage! I feel like I'm in a Judy Blume novel: Are You There Jamie? It's Me, Margaret.) Okay, so here it is: I have a reasonable amount of sexual experience, but somehow I have managed to stay a virgin (as have a few of my friends). Once you're 19, people seem to expect that you're done it six ways to Sunday. So it can come as quite a shock when a girl my age admits that she's still on the v-team. In fact, I speak for all my virgin friends when I say that confessing we are virgins has stopped more than one sexual experience from progressing further. It seems to freak guys out, like they think that you're going to get too attached to them if they devirginize you. Either that, or they find it really sexy in a somewhat pervy way. I don't need to be in love when I finally have sex (Lord knows I don't love most of the guys I've hooked up with, and I've still enjoyed it), but I do want a comfortable and respectful situation, so I feel the guys should know I'm a virgin. But if I tell, I risk seeming like a huge dork and having him stop the whole thing in its tracks. (It has occurred to me that guys might think it isn't worth their time to sleep with an inexperienced girl.) What do you think is the proper etiquette? I'd like to get rid of the v-card before I turn 20.
Get Jamie's advice after the jump!