We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project.
We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Joanna Schroeder writes that she's known a lot of Nice Guys™ and understands the frustration and fear women feel as a result, but believes the bullying and humiliation happening on Nice Guys of OKCupid is out of line.
There's a lot of talk about this Nice Guys of OKCupid (NGOKC) Tumblr site, where photos of nonconsenting men are taken off the OKCupid dating site and mocked for everyone to see.
First word of warning: I don't buy the crap that all guys who call themselves "nice" are actually nice. In fact, I've witnessed enough self-proclaimed "nice guys" saying racist, sexist, rapey, and scary things in my life that my ears automatically perk at any guy who calls himself "nice."
That being said, I know a lot of actual, real-life nice guys. Guys that are kind, sweet, smart, genuine and giving. My husband is one of those, as is my brother. All through high school my brother was the girls' best pal, but rarely their date. The girls he had mad crushes on would keep him on the phone for hours, then go to the dance with a different guy. Eventually he grew out of that phase, or more accurately, he went to college where the women were more interested in a highly intelligent sweetheart than they had been at our high school.
For the purpose of this article, I'm going to call guys like my brother "nice guys" and guys like the the scary ones, "Nice Guys™" and hopefully the distinction is clear, because calling assholes "nice" is confusing and I suspect the misnomer does more damage to understanding who is a threat to our safety and who is not.
Keep reading for more about the Nice Guys of OKCupid.