You poor thing. That sounds terrible! I'm so sorry for what you are going though - it really sounds terrible.

I'm not sure why but this girl seems to have made her decision, and I don't know if you will be able to change it. I think giving some cool down time is a good idea, and then see how you feel.

You'll definitely feel better soon, even if it doesn't seem like it now.

Hugs.

Something tells me HE has feelings for YOU. That's why she doesn't want to hang out anymore. She's feeling insecure in her own relationship and passing the blame to you.

Say to her, "I'm sorry you've become uncomfortable with our friendship. I miss you a lot, and I hope that one day we can be friends again."

It sounds like her relationship with him has become shaky for some reason, and she is feeling insecure. It is strange that it would happen so suddenly though. Maybe he made a comment about you and she got jealous and thought that he still liked you. Then she started to perceive you as a threat. That is really sad, but the only thing you can do is reassure her that you do not feel that way, and you are sorry if you acted in some way which made her feel uncomfortable, or caused her to think that. Other than that, I wouldn't get too enmeshed because it sounds like an issue between the two of them that needs to be worked out. It is too bad that you have been pulled in to their relationship issues, but I would give them some breathing space from you and your bf and allow them to work it out. It sounds like it was all just a misunderstanding. Or maybe you do flirt with him without realizing it. Some women can be really territorial with their men, especially if they are insecure or have been cheated on in the past. Good luck!

I agree with telling her, "I'm sorry you've become uncomfortable with our friendship. I miss you a lot, and I hope that one day we can be friends again." It is natural to mourn the end of any relationship, especially when it seems to happen for no apparent reason. Unfortunately, if the other person has chosen not to continue with it, there's nothing you can do about it. I have a feeling, though, that if your friends break up, one or both of them will be in touch with you again.

In the meantime, it is time for you to go out and make some new friends, either on your own, or as a couple, or both. It sounds like you have what it takes to be a very good friend. Give yourself some time to meet some new people, and you will be sure to make new connections with people who share your interests and who you can have a good time with. You may find that you make a number of different friends who you appreciate for different reasons and do different types on things with, rather than depending on only one.

Everyone here has posted great advice for you. I'm just adding up
I do agree with the poster who says that some of your friendly behavior may be misinterpreted because of something that is going on in their relationship. Your ex may have said something that can make her feel insecure or compare her to you, etc (he may be innocent in intent, but she got offended and upset).
Then MAYBE you don't notice but are you friendly or do you watch yourself around another guy beside your bf? Do you comfortably do the 'touchy-feely' friendly stuff with them? Some girls are very territorial and she may have felt silly for feeling that way, so she's tried really hard to ignore it, until something must have come up between those two and you became like a 'scapegoat' for now. Tsk. Too bad, really.

I'd suggest for you to let it go, send her that nice message like luisamapacha said, give them time, maybe you guys can be friends again one day.
And for now, just go out and make new friends either as your own or as a couple. You can do it. Really.

Yea I thinkluisamapacha is right here...I think HE has feelings for YOU whihc is why she is all scared and defensive.

She sees something in your friendship with him that she doesn't seem to have with him. She is jealous of how you two interact in some way and wants to have that, too. He might legitimately have feelings for you or that could also be in her head, but either way, she is losing a good friend because she can't see the forest for the trees here. Unfortunately, she is not the friend or the person you thought she was, because she is highly insecure and jealous, and is choosing a guy over her good friend. Moreover, she's choosing to stay with a guy she thinks has feelings for her ex-best friend. That is sad.

Take some time to mourn the loss and let your boyfriend support you. Take a deep breath and at least feel grateful that you have such a great relationship with your man and have nothing to be insecure about the way she does within her relationship. You are lucky you have him and your other friends and family who truly value you.

let them go and avoid any drama that may come from you trying to force a friendship.

i went through the same situation...and I knew this person for 7 years. His girlfriend made him stop talking to me cuz she felt I was a threat and now I can't even call for bdays or anything. I've still had trouble getting over the *breakup* (lol) but yeah...sometimes that's just the way it is. And I feel like I made things worse between them because I kept insisting we work something out. I didn't mean to be a rock in his g/f shoes, but it all seemed so unfair to me.

things'll get better over time, and though you may never find friends like them again, maybe that's okay. be happy & thankful for the ones that ARE there.

I agree that she felt threatened by you, who knows if it was something she saw in her bf, you, or just her general insecurities. I'd suggest you comfort yourself with the positive side of it: that you found out how two sided and catty she can be, without having gotten hurt worse, and now you're rid of a possible poisonous influence in your life. I mean, after all, if she could just snap like that and not be honest with you or at least tell you she was ending the friendship, then she wasnt that great of a friend in the first place.

I think luisamapacha nailed it with "I'm sorry you've become uncomfortable with our friendship. I miss you a lot, and I hope that one day we can be friends again."

If your friend has put her foot down, it doesn't sound like there's a lot you can do to "win them back" right now but don't be the one to shut the door. I know it's hard to let them go, but they aren't the only people in the world. It sounds like they have their own issues to work through and it might be best to let them be for a bit.

At least you will still have your boyfriend for support.

What a bummer of a situation for you and your boyfriend. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I also think luisamapacha nailed it with her suggestion of what to say. But, I also think that trying to pursue them any further - even in trying to explain where you're coming from - is over the line given that they've made their wishes (their inexplicable wishes, sure) very clear to you.

Oh, I'm so sorry! It sounds like there's more to the story than you know, and it could be anything- he likes you, she's been cheated on in the past, some other issue you don't know of. For now, I'd send one more e-mail, but make sure it's short and to the point, not much more than luisamapacha's one line. Then let it be, and let yourself mourn the loss of the friend you thought you had. It feels like a break-up because it is, so do all the things you'd do if you were dumped by a boy- get your hair done, eat some ice cream, and work on creating a bond with another friend.

In a few months, if you even still WANT to be friends with these two, try again. It sounds to me like there's a good chance this relationship won't last, so perhaps that will make it easier to renew your friendship with at least one of them. If they're still together, try anyway, but make sure you approach your female friend first, and make it clear that you could care less whether you hang out with her bf again, you just want to make amends with her.

That really, really sucks. You may not have feelings for him but you *could* be projecting a level of comfortability with her boyfriend that she just isn't okay with, for a variety of reasons. People make mistakes with these sort of judgments, and even though that special female intuition does have a knack for ferreting out threats to our relationships, it can be wrong. It's pretty likely that issue is that he actually has feelings for you. I think it's going to be really, really awkward for you to hang out with them.

However, it stinks to lose two friends. I say even if you don't agree with her give her a "pass" on this mistake, and let her know that even though she is wrong (about your feelings towards him) that you still value the friendship, and that you would like it if she still hung out with you (without the boyfriend), no hard feelings. Then, when you and your other girlfriends are having a girl's night out, ask her to come along. Slowly rebuild your friendship if you can. Don't bother with the boyfriend, it's probably a lost cause.

Did she know that you and her bf had a relationship back in the day? If not, he might have told her...and then she flipped out about it. Or he might have been trying to get a rise out of her and started making up situations where he felt as though you were still attracted to him. Either way, I agree with sending her a message to let her know that you're there for her when she's ready to talk. Good luck!

OK it sounds to me like they had a fight, he said something really stupid like "Jessica was never like that, be more like her!" and all of his girlfriend's pent up paranoia unleashed itself in a fountain of spiteful retroaction. I can understand how this is doubly unsettling because now it feels like she was just being your friend to keep an eye on you. Did you ever disclose anything about your past with her guy? If you can work this out, I recommend never talking about the past or how you feel about him to his gf, even if you never have before, just to be safe. Perhaps you can send your boyfriend in as a messenger of peace and offering of trust? Could she be projecting the fact that she is hot for YOUR guy?

Agree, he's probably the one that has feelings for you and she's insecure. OR he may not have feelings for you, but she's just really insecure and may cause her to take friendliness as a something more. Personally, I know it's really hard to lose a friendship, but I don't know if a friendship like that (no trust and jealousy) is something to chase after.

Give her some time and then try to talk to her. But I wouldn't push it too much.

Yea great advice - Id definitely send her an email as the above posters indicated. From what I can tell she is the one losing a good friend, not you.

I say let it go for now, you know your feelings. When they break up, and they will because she is an alienating, insecure, controlling woman, allow him to come back into your life only if he offers an apology for going along with her unreasonableness.

She has your number, so don't contact her any further. She's a grown woman and she's aware of her behavior.

It really seems liek this a problem between the two of them. It doesn't sound like you have done anything to make her feel this way. I would say that it may be true that this guy has mre feelings for you than he has been willing to express and maybe the girlfriend found out. Maybe you won't be ablet o be friends with her again which is unfortunate, but possibly for the best. If this is just the beginning of their troubles you certainly don't want their issues complicating things between you and your current boyfriend. these things have a tendency to bleed into other situations. So let her know that you really ahd no idea things were going this way.Tell her you are there for support if she needs you and that you hope someday she will be able to feel comfortable being your friend again

I agree with luisamapacha. Sounds like your ex has feelings for you. Bummer you lost your close friend, maybe one day she'll get over it and you can be friends again.

oh my god. this is awful. i have a feeling that his girlfriend felt he was into you. and your kindness and opening with the relationship and being friends probably made her a little jealous. i am so sorry that this happened to you. stay strong. you have done NOTHING wrong and you should definitely say what you need to and move on until she gets over it!

Wow .. the girlfriend is very insecure if she really did that. I would do just as you said, send her an email explaining things and if she still doesn't understand, move on because eventually, her insecurities will end their relationship or make it miserable.