I COMPLETELY agree. I don't mind if I pay for someone else's drink or more expensive entree, as long as I have a great time. In my group of friends, if someone is obviously more expensive than the others, they'll offer to pay more (or all) of the tip - but we usually don't let them.

its very hard when your in a tight budget. now i dont mind but before i barely lived pay check to paycheck and i think if theyre friends theyd understand.

yeah that ticks me off too. usually when im out with my friends, either two of us pay for the dinner tab and then the others would pay for our movie or coffee tabs. no point in splitting it up, just take turns.

I dunno...
I am on the fence with this one.

On one side - yes - it does tick me off. I mean we're friends, and it shouldn't make a difference.

BUT on the other side I know and understand my friends might not be living as luxerious as I am. And extra $5 could make or break the next next time we all go out together you know?

If everyone REALLY thinks it's that big of a deal and might ruin a night (over something so stupid...) then just ask for seperate bills BEFORE you order

My friends and I are really easy-going about this. If I pick up the whole tab once, my friends will pony up for the next few. I have a friend on a tight budget, like missbanana used to be, and we all just chip in more to help her out. But it seriously annoys me when people get really specific about the tab. What's a few bucks? It ruins the friendly mood.

ps - ashcwebb - good call on asking for separate bills beforehand. If someone has a serious problem, clear it up ahead of time.

I think for the most part, everyone should try to pay for what they ordered. Once in a while if its not EXACT, well fine.. but overall I think paying for what you ate is what's fair.

I'm on a tight budget myself and that definitely factors in, but even in the past when money wasn't an issue I always made sure to pay for my part of the bill.

Actually, I get aggravated when people try to make others pay more instead of just paying their part.

when i go for dinner with friends, before ordering i ask if they have cash on them, and if they dont i just get a separate bill.. but if everyone has cash then it should be no problem to pay your part when the bill does come

Yes, I bloody hate that too. I usually let everyone know upfront that I refuse to haggle over the bill, so if anyone is going to be a pain they know I will not stand for it. This also includes leave a tip. I find that sometimes even that is a sore spot. Seems to me if you are going to be a "penny pincher" , then just decline from going out!

Yeah exactly Writer, if you're going to expect other people to pay for your dayum dinner, STAY HOM!

*HOME, I need more coffee haha

Eh, it's not a big deal to me. I think if you go out...tip appropriately and just keep things simple by paying for your own meal.

I agree that its just plan silly to have to pay more if you've ordered something cheap. Just never go out to DINNER with them if they wnat you to pay more because their cheap.

I hate this but I also can understand when someone is on a tight budget. So unless it's for a good reason, I think that is just unexceptable. BUT I have learned there are a lot of people that insist on only paying for what they had.

I've seen people do this at work outings even. I was embarassed for them honestly. And they did NOT have financial issues.

I only have a a handful of close friends of whom I do this with, and they're practically family, so all of us take turns pickin up the tab. OR we all share one bill and give cash to whomever is using a credit card.

Very interesting responses. In my group, we always get seperate bills and if we can't we only pay our share. (And sometimes one person will pick up the bill to be nice or to say thank you for something.) No one has ever brought up just splitting the bill equally. Actually, I have only seen this done once and that was because everyone ordered the same thing. Most likely because of my experiences I wouldn't want to pay more than what I ordered.

i like to go dutch when it's appropriate, like family style restaurants, but otherwise, i do end up splitting the tab, only because usually i order something pricier than my friends and i wouldn't feel it's fair to make them pay extra. although, there have been times where calculators have been whipped out b/c certain people always try to short the group a few dollars.

We always get separate bills. If not then we pay for what we got. This has never been a problem for my group of friends, we usually tally up what we ordered, split the tax and tip accordingly. I don't think that I should have to pay my hard earned money to cover someone's meal if they mommy and daddy pay for everything. I'm speaking for one friend in particular which bugs me... if I know someone works as hard as I do then it is no big deal.

we always pay exactly what we owe plus tip. separate bills really helps, but some restaurants don't do that. if i ordered something that was $2 cheaper, i'm not going to pay an extra $2. money is too tight, so sorry if that bothers people. doing the math isn't that hard.

When I'm out with really close friends then we'll just alternate who buys what and expect it will work itself out. When I'm out with colleagues or friends who aren't that close, then we usually each pay what we owe and split the tip (unless someone really wants to pony up for the whole tab). If pitchers of beer are involved, then it can get a little tricky.

If I go out to dinner for a big birthday or something I just assume the check will be split evenly because otherwise it's just too complicated. But if I'm out with a few friends, we'll generally just pay what we owe. None of us whips out a calculator or haggles over dimes. In general, we all overpay and then whoever is dealing with the check just gives us some back.

Personally, I think a couple bucks here and there doesn't matter. But if someone I'm having dinner with someone who orders and drinks a bottle of wine, and someone else doesn't drink at all, why should the person who didn't drink have to pay for someone else's bottle of wine?

In my opinion, if the person who had the wine doesn't offer to pay more it's actually quite rude of them, unless it's a reciprocal thing that they've tacitly agreed on with their friends.

This is such an interesting topic only bc it's become a huge pain right now- I have many friends (we are all semi-recent college grads who've moved to the city). I used to not be worried about paying a little extra here and there until I realized some of my friends who don't make alot of money would always suggest or agree to go to expensive places- then underpay so we all would have to put in an extra 5-10bucks each. I'm getting sick of this! I honestly believe you should choose a restaurant you can afford. Don't expect your friends to pick up your tab.

I never really got upset about it until I went to another friend's birthday (whom I'm not really good friends with but she's a friend nonetheless). I ordered a drink and an appetizer (which I didn't eat) for my meal while everyone else ordered three course meals and30 dollar entres. Somehow I ended up putting in 75 bucks (I didn't owe more than 25/30). I was livid. I couldn't say anything of course bec it was a birthday and I didn't know any of her friends (had it been my friends- I would have said something). Such an awkward situation...

Sorry- "the city" is NY (as you can see by my ID)..I'm used to calling NY "the city"!!

There are times it pisses me off. As a vegetarian, my meal is almost always cheaper, so it adds up over time. It was definitely more of a deal in school when I didn't have much money (plus before I started drinking alcohol I always had water with my meals, so now we're talking about my meal being on average $5 cheaper than anyone else). But back then we'd always just throw in the price of our meal + tip and it usually worked out. We would never think of evenly splitting the check unless we were taking someone out for her birthday. It also bothered me more when I lived in China where the vegetables were practically free and the meat was expensive. Since it was always family style, I would end up paying for 6 dishes when I could only eat 2. I usually just paid, because I am out for the company not the food, but it is kind of annoying. But it goes the other way too-- I always pay more if another person's meal is less (or we'll split the check and I'll leave a larger tip to cover the difference). If I got an extra glass of wine or had an entree when they had an appetizer for their meal, I pay more b/c I don't think it's fair. Why should someone else pay for my meal?

Do people really whip out calculators? I've never seen that. Weird.

It depends. Sometimes I specifically order the cheapest food item and limit any beverages so that my portion is low, so if someone else is not doing that, I wouldn't want to have to pay for them. But I do just estimate my portion, not calculating exactly. I just do a quick scan to figure out approximately what I owe, round up, round up some more for tax, add a generous tip and figure I'm good. If it really is a sharing thing, or if I notice that no one's really watching what they order (myself included) it's easier just to split the tab in half (or however many is appropriate). But I think it's asking a lot for people on a budget to be expected to pay half when they are ordering only a third.

I agree! What gets on my nerve is when people barely have enough to cover there own, then mooch of you and then you're caught footing the bill of what your friends couldn't pay. Or when paying for cabs or something and you say don't worry about it to your friends but you always end up being the one to pay in those situations. It's so frustrating. Just because I don't count every penny doesn't mean I'm loaded!

I'm not on the fence and we have a CITY here in San Francisco. I like to drink but one is plenty at lunch or dinner for me and usually I end up paying for everybody's drinks and I don't like it. I'm not your mama and I shouldn't be paying for your good time. Sorry but it ruins relationships. If you're really good friends you'll just alternate the meals like others have suggested. Mainly this is women. I have many male friends that do not practice what women practice, they usually wanna leave a 50 cent tip also. It drives me crazy.

i hate people like that. i'd rather pay for the whole meal than nit picket about a few bucks. i end up not having meals with these ppl anymore.

It doesn't make sense to split the bill equally when one person had an expensive lobster and steak dinner WITH drinks, while the other person only had a salad and water. However, some of my friends seem to think that's ok! Funny thing is, they are loaded too! So they usually end up paying less for their food. Then i've had other friends who would haggle over 10 cents and "who is paying a bit more for the tip"...

My solution is to just bring cash. People can't argue with you that way. If there is a $2 in entrees, then its completely fine to split the bill equally. But if there is a $20 difference...that's completely different. You know there's something wrong when you end up paying more for the tip than what your entree cost you!

Blah, blah...BLAH. It still all comes down to CAN YOU AFFORD TO EAT OUT..IF NOT DON"T GO. I have added a few more dollars from time too time Or just paid for the entire bill to avoid the hassle. I refuse to sit there and pull out calculators etc. on a fare that's owed. If my money is tight, I politely decline from the affair. My gosh, aren't we fooling ourselves. I for one certainly know which girlfriends are nortorious for skimpping on the bill.

one of my friends pipes up each time saying that we'll put it all on one check and no one likes it! then he cheapens his tip and somehow always ends up paying less. the rest of my friends are all great. we either alternate tabs or go separate and no one has a problem. it's just the one friend who ruins it for the rest of us! then again, this is the same guy who had a b'day and another friend of his said, hey order up a drink and put it on my tab. instead of ordering another vodka tonic, he ordered a $45 shot of johnny walker blue-black-whatever the pricey one is. nice guy, huh?

normally, we just split the bill evenly, since we all normally drink and get a meal. i mean, if one of our friends really doesn't *have the money* and only gets a salad, then of course he/she can only pay their part. either way, its not a big deal to us.

However, we used to all go out w. this couple who would do something SO HORRIBLY irritating, that none of us talk to them anymore. if we go out for a nice meal, they would both order the MOST expensive thing on the menu, when clearly no one else was ordering that. this way, they would want to go dutch on it and have everyone else help pay for their 50 dollar entree. HOWEVER, if we went to say, Friday's, and they got a salad, they would INSIST that since they ONLY got a salad, they are not paying more than X amount of money.

needless to say, we dont go out w. them anymore.

It does NOT come down to not being able to afford to eat out! It's about what's fair. I don't whip out a calculator or haggle over a few bucks--I've definitely overpaid to avoid a scene, but that doesn't mean I'm not sitting there annoyed at the fact that I just paid $40 for a $10 meal. I think it's rude to expect people to pay for your meal--those people are the people who should not go out to eat. And if someone does that, then I probably won't go out with them again. Fortunately that rarely happens b/c friends are considerate people, but overpaying by $2-3 bucks every single time I go out for my entire life? That adds up. So yeah, I don't go out to eat if I can't afford MY meal PLUS a good tip, but I don't see why I should decline a dinner invitation if I can't afford to pay for someone else's prime rib or lobster--ESPECIALLY since I am morally opposed to their meal!!! I don't care if you eat meat in front of me, just don't expect me to pay for it.

If you don't make a lot of money but still want to have a social life and go out with friends, I think its perfectly fine to pay for onyl what you had (plus tip of course). If you're in a tight spot with money, what are you supposed to do, sit at home by yourself? Its hard enough to worry about bills and making ends meet while working your fisrt (and very low paying job) out of college and sometimes you need to break away from the everyday drudgery of life and go out with some friends. Having rude friends who complain about someone having a problem with paying more than their share does not make someone in this position feel better. I've been on both side; the higher paying and the lower paying end and I would never want to make a friend feel bad for paying only for what they ordered, just as I would expect to recieve the same kindness and respect from them. A few bucks to one person might mean a lot more to someone else.

Wow so many different responses. I feel it goes both ways. Like everyone said, if one person orders a meal that is significantly less than everyone elses they should pay less. I never really deal with this issue but Im often the one that prefers splitting it evenly - as long as I ordered something similar or slightly less expensive. If you are the one who ordered less- just tell the other party "oh sorry I only have $20 budgeted because I didnt expect it to cost more with my $10 entree +tax and tip. I hope that wont be a problem." Who would argue with that honestly. Just make sure you pay the right amount and include enough tip. NOTHING annoys me more than people who under tip and I pay their portion of the tip because they are too cheap to tip more than 10% - tips should be 18-20% in big cities like new york for good service.

ashcwebb I couldn't of said it any better.

I think it just depends. I do have friends that make sure they get everything down to the dimes and quarters...but I could understand if someone just ordered a 4 dollar salad when everyone else ordered a steak and some martinis.

That's why we usually ask for seperate checks sometimes....Then well pitch in on the tip. It's just easier....But I dont mind if its a few bucks here and there sometimes...

Wow some comments are really harsh!
I'm on my first job so I don't have a lot of money saved up, I work for a charity so the pay is miserable, and I tutor 3 nights a week to make just enough money to afford going to the cinema and having a meal out once (rarely twice) a month.

So no, I'm not fine in paying more than what I ordered. It's not a question of being cheap - sometimes I end up walking 50 mins instead of taking the bus to save a couple of £ so that I can afford going to the restaurant at the end of the month. And I'm equally not fine with knowing that my friends are paying part of my food. Some make even less money than me or aren't working full time, so it's not being cheap but having to work on a *budget*. When one of us ends up making more money than usual in a month, we're all happy being able to get drinks for other people, or cook a big dinner. But until I'm making enough money to afford the bus everyday, I'm not putting things on my credit card simply because someone decided asking for separate bills is "cheap".

Geebers, good call on the tips. As a former server, I actually think tips should be 20% for good service anywhere in the country, not just in big cities.

If I am on a super-tight budget, I'll explain that to my closest friends there, and then pull the server aside to request a separate check. Nobody usually seems to mind and it gets me out of that "split the bill" headache that always happens.

Nah, I prefer separate checks always unless I'm treating friends to a meal and fortunately, my friends think similarly.

i agree with karmasab*tch. even if you're not on a very tight budget, it's only fair to pay what you ordered. why should someone else pay for your more expensive drink/entree? yes, going out with friends is for fun, but that doesn't account for having to pay for someone else's orders. money doesn't have to be exact, but it should be relatively close to how much you intended to spend.

It all works out in the wash!! I hate sitting around in a nice restaurant after a great meal, discussing who owes who $2.oo! Lucliky for me my friends and I all go splits, or we take turns getting the bill. We are best friends, so at the end of the day, it all works out!!

i agree but if the person usually just has a soup or something ill say for them to just throw in money for tip. i feel that money and friends don't go together so usually its easier to just split the check evenly. then again..me and my friends never go places and just get soup so

My friends and I always just split the bill...it's so much easier and usually, everyone has the same amount of drinks and similarly-priced meals.

I wouldn't be mad, though, if one of my friends wanted to pay individually. I know that some of my friends don't make as much money as I do and I certainly understand and respect that they may be on a budget.

I'm not bothered at all by either arrangement.

I don't have that kind of friends. Also, they always ask if you want separate bills in Quebec. Much easier for the clients, not more complicated for the waiters.

I don't agree. Not everyone in your social circle is in the same financial situation. Havn't you seen that episode of Friend's when Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe order small items as to not have to pay much at an expensive restaurant everyone else insisted eating at? I believe in splitting up bills, and making sure the waiter knows prior to ordering.
What aggravated me to the point of never going out to eat with a certain person ever again? A group of us went to dinner at a Hooka Lounge. A couple girls decided that after charging up their tab to $90 on alcohol, they would sneak out, and leave their huge tab to be payed by everyone else in the group. That was great!

Having the "Scrooge" ordering her meal first, then making sure everyone else orders some less expensive food might show her just how ridicilous her saving sceme really is. Maybe if she might benefit from splitting bills, she'll change her behaviour..
It worked with this friend of mine who _was_ like that

if it's within a few dollars, absolutely! if there's more than, say, at 20% difference, then you can split it by what each person ordered - i DEFINITELY hate it when i pay an equal share while all my friends are ordering cocktails and i had a diet soda bc i'm DDing, but i'll generally never fight it if it's within a few dollars - because i'm sure one day *i'll* get the extra breadsticks and raise their tab by a few dollars.

also, on a somewhat related note: i hate it when people are stingy with tip when you're in a big group! one or 2 dollars doesn't mean anything to most people, but aggregated for the whole group can mean an extra $10-20 for the waitress, which *is* significant!

Unless I go somewhere and it's someones birthday or a special occasion I always ask for separate checks.I wouldn't pay for a friend and I wouldn't want someone paying for me.