Hi Sugar,
On NYE me and my bf of almost 4 years got in a fight about him going out with his friends bar hopping (he's 22 I'm 20) or staying wiht me. Well he ended up leaving but he went out to his dad's and spent NYE there. Then on New Years morning he called me up and we went out for breakfast and eventually ended up telling me that he needed space and some time to figure things out. He went from 3 different colleges, Marine boot camp (which ended in dissappointment because he dislocated his shoulder and had to come home), then straight into working full time and back to college online all within 3 and a half years. So he is a little confused needs to figure out what he wants from his life. He says that it is nothing with me and that he loves me and know that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but he just can't be around me when he makes these descions because I am too much of an influence and he just needs to do this on his own right now. So he moved back home for the time being but we have talked everyday even if it is only for a few minutes and he still says he loves me. I guess I'm just worried that what if he figures out that he doesn't want me in his life anymore? I don't think I could live my life without him and this is so hard for me. I just need some advice. Thanks
masmith
Tibi
Missoni
Marni
If all successful relationships only required someone saying "I love you" to make it - everyone would have one. When someone loves you, they do not make you feel bad about yourself. But, don't fool yourself. The end of the relationship as you know it, is near. He is all about doing what feels good for him and throwing just enough crumbs to you so you will stay around. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? If someone loves you, you are the priority. Time with you is precious to someone who loves you.
Other than wanting him, what do you want for yourself? If you are capable of loving once, you have the capacity to do it again. Choosing to commit to a person is not a mistake, however;committing to someone that has not made the same choice is the mistake in this instance.
It is a new year. Refocus on yourself. Let him work out whatever he thinks he needs to work out on his own. Quit telling him you love him and show him that you know how to love yourself. He needs to quit using the words and back things up with actions. You are stronger than he thinks and even if your heart is broken - learn from how you are feeling and commit to having someone in your life that makes you feel good and valuable when he loves you. Call anyone but him. Spend time getting to know yourself without him.
1you're young, its going to be hard, I was in your BF situation, I ended up having to take a break with my bf of over 4 years in May, It was the best decision I ever made though, I started going back to college got my life on track and realized how much I missed him, and now our relationship is better then it was before.
2I'll have to cosign with fritz & sai. In my experience, if a guy starts talking "I need space" it's best just to give it to him. There is nothing you can "do" to make him stay. If he figures out he doesn't want you as his girl anymore, so be it. I personally don't like loving and caring about people that don't love and care for me back.
-the ceeg
3agree with everyone..
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