American Idol [1] premiered last night and we know the routine by now: they're gonna show us the worst before the best. But the worst really are the best cuz that's when all the crazies come out of the woodwork. Take this serial killer: he can't sing, he can't rhyme, he can't even spare us the sight of his chest fuzz. He also can't keep his eyes off of Crazy Paula [2]— a red flag in and of itself.