example 1) my dad cheated on my mom with 3 different women all through their marriage (which is now over) and that would lead me to believe once a cheater, always a cheater.
example 2) Before i started dating my now boyfriend, he was with another girl but he was miserable, if i had let him, he probably would have taken me home once when they were dating. obviously i didnt. i told him to break up with his girlfriend first and then we'd talk. Anyways, they broke up few months later, few months after that, we got together. i know atleast SOMETHING would have happened. and although it worries me a little when he goes out without me... i know he's happy with me. and happy people dont cheat. (mostly)
so yeah, in short, i dont believe that that statement applies to everyone.
it's really up to the person who was cheated on to decide wether they can forgive or not.
But I do believe cheating if you are married is not acceptable... get a divorce.

No, I don't agree with that statement. Sure there are people that can't be faithful. But there are others who do make this mistake and never make it again. It seems beyond silly to me to make such a wide sweeping generalization.

I don't believe the statement really...my boyfriend a few years back cheated on me several times, but all he admitted were drunken 1-time mistakes and he was 19, 20 years old...people make mistakes, especially when they're really young and not exactly ready to be in a long-term relationship. Things are great now that he's grown up and realized what he wants...

I don't believe in that old statement . My brother who had cheated on her past girlfriends before , but now that he's married , he's committed to his family and they have been married for 15 years. I also know one guy who had cheated on his wife and when he realized that he need his family more and love his family more, he vowed never to hurt his wife and family again and had kept that promise until the day he died.

I think it depends on the cheater. If you do it becuase you care less about how other people feel, and you only make yourself happy, then yes. You prob will cheat again. BUT if I did it once as a mistake and know how horrible it made you feel (the guilt/aftermath) then I think you learned your lesson.

I don't believe in that statement. I think it all depends on the situation and the reasons for cheating. I cheated on my ex-boyfriend when I first came to college. Basically we had been together for 2 years, broke up for 6 months and then about 1 month before I went to college got back together. I think I got back together with him because I thought it would make me happy since that was what I thought I had wanted all along. Then I got to school and met someone and immediately clicked. We had an emotional and physical bond. I was too much of a scaredy cat to break up with my ex because I thought I could have my cake and eat it too. That whole thing ended a while back. Now I am in a happy and healthy relationship and I can honestly say I would NEVER cheat again. It's just dumb and that is what I was - young and dumb!

I'm going to have to stick to my original comment. Every cheater that either myself or my friends have known has continued to cheat. It is nice to here that not everybody falls into this comment. I guess I'll have to say that maybe it's 75% true.

i agree with le luxe i think it depends on ur motivation. if you are cheating because you unhappy in a realtionship i think u are redeemable (not that its ok). but some people cheat and think its ok or acceptable or a part of life etc. dont buy that

I think one time can be considered a mistake (not to me, but maybe for others). But when it happens more than once...
I know a guy who cheated on his wife, got caught, vowed to never talk to the girl again, and to this day, 2 years later, he is still cheating on his wife with the same girl. What's that saying?? A leopard can't change his spots?

the statement is disagreeable.Men do cheat on their partners once in their life but try to consult your heart if it's time to give another shot or what.Cheating is far like a crime but it's a matter of the heart .you alone can tell if this guy still keep this special thing on you or just fooling around.take it from me..i've been or rather felt like a doormat when my BF cheated on me twice,i made necessary actions to save myself,so i broke up with him..but later on,he kept on coming back and had done enough to prove that i'm still the one who he really wanted..so we made up and tried to make it work..the spark came back and i'm more than happy with what's happening with the two of us right now.we're planning to get married at the end of the year..=)

just carefully hear your heart out and talk with your brain..and remember that seeking advice isnt always followed.

I don't agree with the statement completely but I do think that if someone has cheated it would be easier for them to do it again in the future. I would hope there are some that wise-up from such destructive behaviour. I was 2 weeks away from my wedding day and I found out that my then-fiance cheated...I called off the wedding... we broke up...years later (around 10yrs) he got married and after a year of marriage...he cheated on her!!! Thank goodness I walked away from that relationship. WHEW!

I think it depends on the circumstances. I do not agree with this in all situations. I think there is a difference in a person making a bad decision, caused by something that is going on in a relationship or that persons life at the time and someone just flat out for no good reason being a habitual cheater.

Not applicable in all cases but not a concept to ignore.

I definitely don't believe in once a cheater always a cheater. People make mistakes especially when they are young.

I dont agree with that statment.

I GUESS it depends on the cheater...but I still tend to believe once a cheater always a cheater..that's just one mistake I'm not willing to forgive. I certainly wouldn't go out with anybody who had a history of cheating on his girlfriends.

I don't agree. I was a cheater. I cheated on almost every boyfriend I ever had until I met my ex. We were together 3 years and I would never dream of cheating on him. I questioned myself as to how I had ever done it before. And knowing what I know now - I would never cheat again. I think it has to do with maturity. I wasn't ready to stop having fun just because I was dating someone.
Karma's a b*tch though - we broke up because he cheated on me

I don't 100% agree. My boyfriend was dating two girls before me at the same time but only because they were on different sides of the World! The one living nearby was annoying him and kept threatening suicide whenever he tried to break it off and the one in America was ... 1800 miles away!

Then I came along and he kinda cheated on both of them with me. He had FINALLY broken it off with the one living nearby as soon as he was able to say LOOK I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE and then he broke it off with the one in America about 2 weeks later when I found her myspace with a pic of them both on it. =P

Yes, he lied to me and yes it was HORRIBLE at the time but I've cheated and I can see why he just carried it on with the chick in America because it was just net chats and nothing more. She was a virgin AFTER she'd visited him here in the UK for 2 weeks for chrissakes so there we go...

Then a day after like... meeting me for the first time he tried to get it on with an ex when he was out of his head drunk and probably on a high from having all these girls wanting him. He didn't succeed though and that ex is now OUT of his life. Way out.

So even though he has cheated before sort of on me and on other people I know he wouldn't DARE now. 1) It's too much effort 2) I'm so awesome that it's not worth it. =P

I've cheated before. I had an ex who played WoW 18 hours a day so I went out and found somebody new who didn't! There was a minor crossover but no sex until it was over with my ex. I also met somebody new whilst I was with somebody at 18... I broke it off before I even started dating the new guy.

My boyfriend knows how hurt I was when I found out about the other girls right at the beginning and I know he'd never do that to me again. He knows he has a good deal.

Nope, I don't agree. I think it all depends on the person and the situation.

i think its mostly true, just from ppl i have seen, and too me it doesnt matter cause if a guy cheated on me once he is no longer to be trusted.

Someone who cheats once isn't always someone who cheats twice. If both parties are committed to the idea of getting a relationship to work, then it can work. Sure, there's a risk. But there's always a risk, even with someone that's never cheated. Everyone who cheated once was a person who'd never cheated prior.

I dont agree with the statement. In fact, believing that phrase for so long was a cop out for my own behavior. I used to cheat like crazy on my old guy. With the new one, all my needs are so fulfilled, that I'm not even tempted...

I think cheating is a sign of weakness, and maybe if someone cheats one time they won't do it ever again but it's possible that they'll cop out on the relationship in other ways that could be hurtful.

I don't agree with that statment...however I feel like it is somewhat percent true. The big question is....How many people would cheat if no one ever could possibly find out? I was watching the Real World with Dunbar and his gf, he was only pissed/feeling guilt/remorseful becuase she was obviously going to see the show!!! I don't think he wouldve felt bad otherwise!!! But, I don't think once a cheater always a cheater, because I personally have found myself getting tangled up in cheating and I will NEVER Do it again. EVER. I am now happy in a four year relationship and totally happy with him...YES..I have asked myself, If I would never get caught, would I do it? And the answer is NO, even if no one knows about it, YOU know about it and its hard to live with, trust me! So, no..once a cheater, not always a cheater!

Based on 3 different guys doing it to me and the girls after me, yes.

I think it depends on the phase of life a person is in. If they are young (highschool/college), perhaps they will grow out of it. If the relationship is truly horrible and it was done out of retribution, maybe they wont repeat it with someone else. The fact is though, guys that do it because they want to, that do it when in deeply comitted relationships, will always do it, they don't necessarily have to be hedonist jerks. They have a problem with solving basic problems in their relationships, and turn to other women to deal with it unfortunately.

Okay I don't completely believe in this statement. People can learn from their mistakes and they shouldn't be black listed for the rest of their lives.

HOWEVER, if someone cheated on me, I would definitely have trust issues afterwards and I personally wouldn't be able to trust them again. Therefore, it would be a deal breaker for me.

No, that statement is NOT true, because guess what? I CHEATED. I don't anymore, and never will! It was stupid college debauchery, and I've grown up since. Maybe it's different because I'm female, but not all guys are serial cheaters.

It isn't true - I've cheated before, I wouldn't do it again. I don't regret leaving the relationship in which I was unfaithful, nor do I regret the fact that I left it for the person I cheated with, who I'm still with and love very much. But I do wish I hadn't cheated because that's just not who I am... some people are repeat cheaters and it's just something wrong with them.. but sometimes it is just a mistake, and you can learn from it. I think it's unfair to always presume someone is defined by their past behaviour.

sorry, can't follow the crowd on this one. once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. takes a mighty strong person to do it once and never again. it there really are those kinds of people out there, i do applaud them for changing their ways. i've been cheated on, my ex is a serial cheater...he's done it all his life. he's 30 years old, married, still in that frame of mind. I know everyone's going to say that you can't judge everyone based on one person but I firmly believe that if you've done it once, there's a much greater chance that it'll happen again. There would be so many trust issues there, for me, that the relationship would have to end as soon as the truth comes to light. And yeah, karma's a real b*tch so think twice before you cheat in the first place.

If you are young and you cheat you may make it back (but some people are immature for a lifetime), if you do it while you are mature and in a committed relationship, you show an urge to cheat. If we talk mind over matter, yes, it can be controlled. But those who like the thrill of the chase will fall again. Good luck trying to figure out whose are in that list and who are not.

I have never cheated and I can say with full confidence that I never will. I know no matter how much I am tempted I know my principles. If Im with someone who can't follow that- goodbye. I dont think once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. But the fact is, if someone cheats on me - I would never forget it. It's incredibly selfish and a slap to my face. If I had the urge to cheat, out of respect for my partner I would at least be honest before I cheated. So I cant follow the crowd on this one in that sense. Maybe if someone cheated in highschool or college and it was complete immaturity (and I would still not take them if it was a serial case of cheating by the way) - I would look past it.

Revise that "I would at least be honest first and ended things before I went off with someone else." I wrote before I cheated, technically since I would end things that is not cheating. Just wanted to clarify that statement before someone jumps on me for it.

i dont agree with once a cheater always a cheater. my boyfriend cheated on me once and i forgave him, i gave him the benefit of the doubt. but if he would cheat on me again i would leave him for sure. everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes but if someone makes a mistake twice and the same one then i wouldn't be able to forgive.

I don't really agree with this.

I guess it depends on how often it occurs, when it occurred, etc. For example, I cheated on a boyfriend when I was 19 years old, immature, and not at all ready to be in that serious of a relationship.

Now I'm 30 years old and would NEVER cheat again. On anyone. I'm married now, but I was in a miserable relationship before that and cheating never even entered my mind.

eh i usually believe once a cheater always a cheater

i have yet to be proven wrong

my one ex cheated on me with my best friends sister in law-then cheated on her...

my other ex who cheated on me... well he cheated on me countless times..cheated on the ex before me countless times..then cheated on the girl he was with (we were friends).

maybe i encountered serial cheaters. but i think that sadly i will hold this as a "guilty until proven innocent"

I think that if a person cheats more than once (more than once with one person or with more than one person) he or she may be a habitual cheater. One time could easily be an accident and doesn't mean that they are going to do it again. If you learn your lesson the first time it's a good sign that you won't do it again.
With that being said, it would still be hard for me to be with a man who had cheated on his girlfriend before. It would make me jealous and paranoid.

Depends, really. There is the accidental cheater, the cheater that cheated because of a miserable or unfulfilling relationship, and the serial cheater. The accidental cheater is likely never to cheat again. He/she made a mistake. The cheater who cheated because of a miserable or unfulfilling relationship is a 50/50. They cheat only when they are unhappy. If they're in a happy relationship, they won't cheat. The serial cheater is as described above, "once a cheater, always a cheater." Deep down, they don't care who they hurt.

My mom gave me the advice/warning: Once a cheater, always a cheater. I do believe it most of the time(99%) however I do think that there is a 1% that make that mistake and never cheat again. Depends on the issues within the relationships.

Of course situations are all different, but I think that the old "Once a cheater always a cheater" saying is generally true.

no i dont think. my current boyfriend def cheated on an ex during his college glory days when he didn't have much regard for anything but booze! but honestly, he has been so totally faithful to me it almost blows my mind. i was a FIRM believer in once a cheater always a cheater.. i actually said that to my guy when we first started dating!!!! fortunately, things have been perfect!!!

There are a lot of comments about people cheating because they are/were unfullfilled and now that they are "happy" it won't happen again. That is why I totally believe the statement. Cheaters are great at rationalizing and justifying their behavior. "I wasn't happy", "my needs weren't being me", "what he doesn't know won't hurt him".
Sadly, I know a lot of serial cheaters (men and women) and sometimes there are clear reasons for the behaviors (acting out, loneliness, low self esteem, abusive partners), others it is just an easy access issue. As far as the guys go, I feel like most will cheat, happy relationship or not, if they believe they won't get caught.
Plus, being emotionally happy with someone doesn't change the fact that you are attracted to others around you.

i think that "Once a cheater always a cheater" is true, and when the trust is gone you can't have a long last relationship

No, as a former "always cheater", I know people can change and will change when the time is right for the right person

The biggest problem with cheating is that it is a breach of trust. The relationship will never be the same. In my experience, I've been cheated on, and then took him back, and he did it again for months without telling me. Same happened with my sister. Listening to your head over your heart is what I think is best in these situations.

If a guy has cheated in a past relationship, I don't think that rules out a new relationship with him since people can meet the right person and have no desire to do it again. But I do think that if you are in a relationship with a guy who is a cheater, it should be over. Trust is gone, so that's it. You'll always wonder.

My friend once told me, "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on ME." If you do take someone back, it's your own fault because they already showed you exactly who they are.

unfortunately i think it really depends on the person.

example 1: an ex cheated on me years ago but i forgave him. 4 months later he cheated on me again, so i promptly dumped his ass.

example 2: i cheated on the same ex (i know, great relationship, right? oh well.. ex for a reason), but haven't cheated since. i haven't even THOUGHT about it. i think at the time, for me anyways, it was a way of "evening the score" in some sick, twisted way.

never again.

but long story short, not all cheaters cheat again.

I've cheated on my boyfriend last time..but I realized that it was the biggest mistake I've ever made! He accepted my apology and though sometimes I KNOW he's a bit skeptical about things, but I deserve it (even though sometimes I get annoyed, but it was ME who messed it up in the first place!)

He gave me a chance and I have never cheated again. Not ever again.

And I think you should give him a chance too.

This isn't necessarily true, I think. However, I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me in fear he'd do it again. There will always be someone else out there who will treat you right.