This is a matter of personal choice.

For myself, having had a relationship and a marriage, I would say no.

I vote no, but I'm actually married. But our decision had more to do with our family and the govt than my view of marriage. My husband wanted his parents to see him get married because they always worry that he's one step from the gutter (it's not based on reality, just parental paranoia, and they do know that), and marriage is a sign to them of being a responsible adult. It was important to them, which made it important to him, which was enough for me. And because the govt bases so many benefits on whether or not we have a piece of paper declaring our love, we opted for that reason as well. Why the govt is trying to get into my bedroom is beyond me, but there you have it.

yup!

It's not about the piece of paper. For me, it is a special sacrament. Being married is different than dating or living together. It's saying "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you so I'm going to legally and spiritually bind myself to you."

Yes, but its not about the paper its about the vows before God and family and to eachother. Its not "proving" your love, its a traditional ceremony to celebrate the forming of a family .

Marriage Certificates have been around since the middle ages, they were issued to make sure that the marriages were legal, here in the US, its to make sure the marriage is between people of legal age, gender, and they used to require a blood test but dont anymore (why i dont know,,,you would think...)

a piece of paper isnt the "declaration of love" its the ceremony.

I don't think its necessary to have a marriage license to prove your love and commitment to someone. I was in much the same situation like Remedios, the decision to get a marriage license was based on the fact that it was beneficial for us to be married and together and stay "single" and be together.

Actually, DearSugar, you're quite newfangled if you require a certificate to bond you. Legally it may be the best option for some couples, but the marriage certificate is a state-sponsored practice for legal purposes only. Marriage, in my opinion, should be performed in whatever spiritual method you ascribe to - whether that be in a church, temple, mosque, or dancing outside... it had nothing to do with secular life throughout history, and I personally feel it still doesn't.

I was married and it ended up proving nothing. My ex still failed me after I married him. It was nice for the health insurance and joint taxes, but other than that, for me, I see no advantage. It will be a LONG time before I do it again, if ever.

My sweetie and I have had this discussion, and we've both agreed that the marriage certificate isn't necessary. My family has seen enough bad marriages that I personally have no respect for the institution. Granted, their lives aren't my life, but at the same time, you can't help but be skiddish when your mom and three of your aunts (both sides) are working on their third marriages.

I dunno. I mean righ now I am happy just my boyfriend and me
But in the future when i do get engaged I think I would want it down on paper. Just as a keepsake. And it is also easier to legally prove that you ARE together you know?

oh, and Caterpillar Girl - you're right, but marriage LICENSES were only enforced by the church one was married in throughout the middle ages. Marriage certificates were not introduced to society until the mid 19th century, in the UK - and this is the document DearSugar is addressing. Marriage certificates were introduced in American during the Civil War to black freedmen ONLY - because the Union army decided blacks were 'too naturally promiscuous' to be trusted if they were unmarried and away from their homes. A racist tradition we've brought forth to today.

There's a great book about the history of marriage and marriage certificates and all that jazz by Nancy Cott entitled "Public Vows: A History of Marriage and the Nation," and I really recommend it to anyone curious about the historical pattern of 'legal marriages'.

No, it has never been important to me.

no. but this is coming from someone who doesn't want to get married. ever.

I vote no. Marriage is not necessarily an expression of knowing "you're both committed to being committed." I wish this was the case for all couples but in reality it is not. It is possible for couples to be committed and emotionally-fulfilled without the piece of legal paper if they communicate these intentions to one another.

I'm married, and I vote no. I loved my man just as much the day before we got our license as I did the day after. It's just a piece of paper.

Yes, I want the paper. And I want my man to want it. But if for some reason the government, church, or any other establishment would not allow he and I to legally marry and get that piece of paper, I would say f*** them and be with him forever without it. I don't think you need it to have commitment, but I do want it.

no but i would want to be married before i have children.

No, I don't need it to prove my love, but I do need it to enjoy all of the legal rights spouses have, such as making medical decisions for loved ones. Some people can get by on that without a marriage license, but in emergency situations, who wants to risk it? I want my soon-to-be husband to make those decisions for me if I can't, and vice versa, and I won't leave it to chance.

The paper has nothing to do with our relationship. We've practically been married for four years already, but that's in our own eyes, not the eyes of the state. There are practical reasons for doing it if this is someone you know you want to spend the rest of your life with.

we get our lil paper on August 16...

just throwing that out there

Do I? Yes. Marriage is extremely sacred to me.

Do I think everyone does? No.

Maybe not to prove my love for someone, but if it entitles protection and security between two people, then yes.

Above everything else, it's a contract. That way you have legal consequences if you decide to bail on your family even though you claim to be committed.

I voted yes...for me, marriage has greater value than "just" a relationship, although I don't disapprove of people who don't want to get married. I can't really explain why (is marriage important to me), because I realize, that you have to work hard on your relationship either way...and that happy relationship is better than unhappy marriage. And I'm not even religious...so it's not that marriage is "sacred" for me. I guess it's all about the ultimate promise of "forever" to your significant other. And maybe I'm simply traditionalist;-)

its important and a must for me. but what makes people happy is different for anyone.

iin my opinion ii vote no because when you started datinq the person you didnt need a piiece of paper stating that you quys are seeiinq each other, but ii dont need a piiece of paper to show that ii am commited soo..

No, it is so not important. What if you get married and your husband/wife cheats? How is that being committed to one another? Also, what about gay people? They aren't allowed to get married. Does that mean because they don't have a piece of paper that they don't really love each other?

There are many things you can do legally to make sure that your significant other is the person able to make emergency decisions for you.

you don't need the piece of paper to prove your love but you do need that piece of paper to have the legal benefits of being your man's spouse. and when i think about our future and our future kids, i'd like to know that my commitment has been legally recognized =). but again, that's totally separate from being a sign of love.

i chose other because i dont know. i'd like the paper. i like to change my last name. i'd like to be "traditional" and have kids when i'm married.

but if my boyfriend decided that maybe he didn't want to get married but watned to spend the rest of his life with me without the paper...i wouldnt not consider it.

its tough

I'm perfectly happy just being together. I don't feel that it's necessary to get married. We both know we're committed.

The document does provide legal protections. Can these also be provided by other documents? Yes, but they can be contested more easily that the marriage contract.

Its not about the piece of paper, but standing up and committing yourselves to each other in front of friends, family, god, mother earth, whatever your choice is.

On a historical note, I did like the fact that two parties could actually draw up a contract stating what was expected of them in the marriage. It would be nice if I had a legal document stating that every time my husband didn't iron, I was entitled to new shoes

No, you don't need marriage to prove your love. There are lots of couples who will never marry and are more committed than many married couples. However, I loved standing up there in our church in front of loved ones and promising that we would love each other and take care of each other. I actually don't like weddings and I think they can get really out of hand spectacle-wise, but ours was very simple and meaningful, and I wouldn't give that up for anything in the world.

I think marriage is for religious people or people who need marital rights. Neither apply to me. I can be best friends with someone without having a piece of paper saying so just as I can want to spend the rest of my life with someone and not need a paper saying so. However, I DO want to get engaged because I LOVE engagement rings!

I think that over the last generation or so, it has been proven that a marriage certificate means nothing to anyone but the government. A marriage certificate is not going to prevent your husband from divorcing you for another woman, and it's not going to prevent you from divorcing your husband bc his job isn't up to par. I can love my SO just as much if not more than you love your hubby, without a piece of paper.

NO!

I can wear a pretty dress anytime I want. I can get my guy to buy me a ring anytime I want!

The fact that you have a bit of paper with both of your names on doesn't mean jack sh*t! Guys can still remove their wedding bands and fail you just the same as when you are not married.

The hype about marriage (a patriarchal institution) makes me ill. I hate it when people reply "if he hasn't proposed within 2 years then he never will!" because it's pretty backwards. Why can't I be the one to propose? Maybe I don't want to?

I've been married and it means nothing at all. Nothing changed and I ended up with a deadweight relationship around my neck for five years as I waited for divorce to come through!

So no, you do not need a marriage certificate to prove your love!

I love my husband, he loves me, we wanted to get up in front of our friends and family and vow to share our lives together- it helps that we both come from families where our parents are still married and happy together, and I just couldnt imagine having children with someone I wasnt married to. Its sentiment, but also the practicality of it.

Absolutely - the legal benefits of a marriage certificate make it a very good idea. What I don't want, however, is marriage in the sense of church, white dress, lots of money, etc. Just getting a marriage license will be fine, thanks. We don't need a debt-inducing party to prove our commitment.

I don't think you need the piece of paper if both of you are fine with the way your relationship is and don't feel the need to get married. For myself, I want the piece of paper and the wedding.

I want the man I spend the rest of my life with to make a commitment to me in front of our family, friends and God. it doesn't hurt if the government knows about our love too.

i'm gonna hyphenate my name;

Asia doesn't go too well with too many surnames.

plus, it's easy to drop his name just in case my prince turns into a cheating, lying, lazy, he better get off my nerves before i try to run him over a-la-Martha-Stewart, frog

I always thought I wanted to get married, but after seeing my parents divoce after 25 years of marriage I have changed my mind!! If I love someone and want to spend my life with them I will, and I don't need a peice of paper. More than 50% of marriages fail anyways, maybe I am just bitter, but I think, Why ruin a good thing???

i don't think you need to get married to prove to one another that your in a committed relationship. i don't plan on ever getting married, i think that knowing that your significant other loves you, respects you, and plans on staying together forever, without the piece of paper is just as good. like alex1984 said, why ruin a good thing.

No.
It is the proof of love and commitment that I have already experienced in my relationship that allowed marriage to become a possibility. Without the experiences, the love and the commitment we have already shown each other, a piece of paper would, and ultimately still, means nothing.

It makes the Rents happy, though and cements the action of families joining.

welllll......
I don't know about this one. of course you do NOT need ANYTHING to validate spending your life with someone. it's more of a tradition and it's 2008 so what does that say?. I myself have always dreamed of being a great "wife" so to ME I guess that means that I would say as my own personal choice.. YES. I would really like to be married and have that marriage liscense as my ultimate sign of committment. Like I said though I am old fashioned with parents that have been together for over 30 years. To the point that I know they have hard times but my dad honestly told me you take a vow. For better or for worse.. I wouldn't ever leave unless it was an unreversible problem. So I feel the same way. )

To each their own. I prefer marriage to the boyfriend/girlfriend deal, but I'm older and "been there, done that" with a live-in guy, and was single for a looong time after, so when my husband and I decided to spend the rest of our lives under one roof, we also decided to make it one name as well. I do love being married and referring to my man as my husband. Call me old school, but I know it was the best decision of my adult life besides having kids, of course- another very personal choice. One of my friends said we saved the best for last, and I couldn't agree more.

The good ones DO exist girls, they really do!

it's a contract. I do feel like if you are married, your relationship will last longer than it otherwise would have, just because a divorce makes it a lot harder to break up than say "alright I'm done with you, I'm out." A marriage license probably just makes you try to work through your problems a little bit harder since you're legally bound to that person. But I'm not married, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

I have never wanted to get married until I saw that my uncle and aunt did it and have been successful and happy in their marraige (my family has a terrible divorce rate). I don't think you need that certificate, but I want one eventually, with the right person of course.

Me and my BF have been together for 10 years now. We have 2 children, own a house and cars together and live as we are married although we are not. I consider him my husband, he considers me his wife. We have talked about getting married a million times. It is just not a priority or something we feel that we have to do until we decide to, if we ever do. We actually just talked about it again recently and decided to maybe seriously consider it, because our oldest daughter brings it up occassionally.

Ah now in that situation (kids, house, cars) I would insist on marriage. It's not financially or legally savvy to be "living as married" when you have shared assets.

What if you broke up? You'd lose most things~