he's a guy, they're visual,
of course he looks.
they all do, some are just better at hiding it.
i bet he looks at porn too! (again, a guy thing and no big deal)

my ex bf and i used to call each other out on it, and we would always get a good laugh out of it.
it's not cheating in any way shape or form.
are you cheating when you lust after a hot celebrity or take notice of a cute guy?
as long as he's treating you well and isn't talking about these women, you're fine.

your boyfriend just has no clue about how to not be obvious about it.

tell you bf to work on being more subtle about looking and get over it.

Four years and still not married? He's clearly keeping his options open. I say break up with him and move on.

Bottom line: men are stupid and don't know how to be subtle.I have dated a guy in the past who were either brutally obvious about checking out other girls or would actually comment to me/himself out loud about how hot they were (incidentally, we were together about 4 years as well). As you can tell, we did not last and he eventually cheated on me and left me for another girl. But my fiance now never does this, or if he does he is very subtle, so I don't notice or does not do it in a way which is disrespectful to me. It is just plain sh*tty that your guy lies about it, too. Maybe he feels guilty, but most likely it sounds like he doesn't want to admit that he was caught. You can tell him that you don't give a crap if he does this when you are not with him, but when he is with you, it's just plain RUDE. I would talk to him and say listen, cut the bullsh*t and stop lying, I know you are checking out other girls, it's brutally obvious. But tell him it makes you feel really bad about yourself, or let him know how bad it makes you feel. If he is still obvious about it, then he is disrespecting you, and it's time to cut him loose because he is not being a caring partner.

Okay, guys look at other girls. Do you have any right to get hurt? Of course getting hurt feeling is kind of a natural thing, if you get upset, you get upset, there's no ifs or buts about it.

What he needs to do is to cool it when he's with you, it's a little disrespectful of him to be looking at another girl so obviously when you're with him. At least, he needs to learn to be subtle about it. Or try to not do it at all when you're around, if you're not there, then...he can look (as long as he doesn't 'touch').

If you get upset with him say it in the term of that, tell him it's fine to be looking at girls (guys are visual, after all), but can he not do it so obviously when you're there because it's embarrassing, plus it's not polite to stare

Good luck to you.

I check out girls and watch porn with my bf!! it is kind of a bondin experience (we both get fun out of it)...i think u can only do this if u feel secure abt urself and ur relationship (trust ur guy)...well tht's just me!!

Sometimes I see hot girls and point them out to my BF. Sometimes we argue whether we agree. It's kind of funny but it doesn't bug me because it's foolish to think he'll find no one else attractive but me.

If he checks out girls when he's with me, then I don't notice. Which means he's blind or discreet, and I'm going with the latter.

All that said, if we were walking down the street and he stopped in his tracks and turned around to watch womens' asses as they walked by, it would piss me off. Not because I'm mad he finds other girls attractive, but because it seems disrespectful to do that.

So, I would tell your boyfriend in no uncertain terms to knock it off. Tell him explicitly what he does that bugs you because if he's really clueless he might not know how he's responding.

I don't have a problem with my boyfriend appreciating a woman he finds beautiful. We'll usually debate whether we agree or not. I also point out men I find attractive. I'm secure in our relationship, so I don't get hurt if he looks and he doesn't get hurt if I look.

Oh brother! No one has to look. No one's going die just because they pay attention to the woman that isn't with them. I find it blatantly disrespectful. And really, no one cares until someone they care about is looking at someone else.

Boys will be boys. Every guy does it... some are just sneakier about it than others. His problem is not that he notices other attractive females, but that he does it in a way that you notice. Are you trying to tell me that you have, never one single time since you've been dating, noticed another attractive man? I certainly don't go out of my way to stare or lust over them, but if I see a hot guy, I take note that he's hot. If there's an attractive celebrity on a webpage, I don't immediately close the page to prevent having to look at him. Noticing that someone else is attractive will never, ever take away from my feelings for my fiance - I can't go through life with blinders on and shield my eyes from every attractive person out there, but I'm also not going and seeking them out and running up to talk to every hot guy that I see.
Oh, and luisamapacha, your comment that "Four years and still not married? He's clearly keeping his options open" is a load of crap. You don't know anything about the poster -- she could be 19 and have been dating her boyfriend since she was 15. Are you suggesting that every teenager go get married when they hit the 4 year mark? You don't know what the situation is for other people, and you can't tell someone when to or when to not get married based solely on their years together. I was with my boyfriend over 4 years before we were engaged... it just wasn't the right time for us yet since we didn't know geographically if we would ever wind up in the same place, and rather than "keeping his options open" he was planning for the future -- better to date a few extra years and ensure we can live in the same place rather than run and irrationally get married and have to get a divorce when we find out we would be living our entire lives several hundred miles apart.

I would be hurt, too. All these boys will be boys comments sort of bother me... It's disrespectful. A girl might catch his eye, but that doesn't mean he has to up-and-down her. My boyfriend doesn't really look at other girls that way, which I guess I should be very grateful for. He also doesn't like porn, and never has. That doesn't mean he isn't a man. Other boyfriends I've had didn't check out other girls, either, from what I remember. I've only seen male friends do it.

Find a way to explain to him that it's hurtful to you. Just because he's a boy doesn't excuse him for being rude.

It's natural for men to look at other attractive females. As long as your man is subtle about it when you're around, that's okay.

As a female, don't you get looked at by other men (even when they're accompanied by their significant other)? It's okay. It happens.

I think looking at girls is natural for guys, if they are married, taken or single. They will always look. And women look too. I bet you do too there is difference between looking and staring and also doing it all the time. If you are not comfortable with him looking at other girls you have to tell him because if he is doing it constantly then you know it could hurt you feelings. So sit him down and tell him that you are not comfortable with him looking at everything with ass. Tell him if he could minimize the staring if possible. Plus if he is doing it and it is obvious that he is staring and turning his head then you need to tell him. I say talk to him and explain how you feel. My boyfriend looks at other girls and we have been going out for over four years. I think it is natural. We look too if we see a cute guy walking around

oh and by the way RockAndRepublic has a point.

Subtlety is key here--obviously girls/guys will check out hot members of the sex their interested in, but c'mon. Blatant staring is obnoxious and passive-aggressive. Tell him straight up that it's fine if he looks, but that he needs to be more relaxed about it. My boyfriend did it once with me (blatant turn and stare) and I spent the rest of the day catching the eye of every cute guy that looked at me and smiling. He got totally ticked, but I was just like, if it's okay for you to do it, it's okay for me to do it. I don't give a crap if you look, but something as blatant as the tiny brunette girl you stared down earlier deserves the same in return. I might have also mentioned that I'm hotter than he is so he might not want to go down that path...but we got a good laugh out of it and it's no longer a problem!

how often do you notice other attractive people?

luisamapacha - four years without being married doesn't neccessarily mean he's "keeping his options open." I have a friend who's been with her guy since they were 16 (she's 22 now) and they've just now gotten engaged. You don't know how old these two are, if they're still in school, etc.

On the original topic -- there's nothing wrong with looking. As long as it's nothing more than that, I wouldn't worry. However, you might point out to him that it bothers you and ask that he at least keep his eyes from wandering when you're around.

boys will be boys, and they will look. as long as that is as far as it goes, then blow it off. the real issue is that he won't admit it, and that is super frustrating!! he needs to learn to be open with you and quit denying it. you should also let him know that it bothers you and maybe he will chill out a bit with it!

It depends, is it a slightly interested glance up and down or is he actively ogling them. The first I would say is natural, I was with my boyfriend for years and I constantly found myself checking out girls and guys all the time. Not because I didn't love him, but simply because I appreciate attractive people. If it's the second, then he's being rather disrespectful to you and may just be a creep.

I agree with about half of you on here...it isn't 'boys will be boys" it's more like we are all human! Women look at members of the same sex and opposite sex just as much, and there's nothing wrong with it. If you have a problem then it speaks more of your own insecurities than anything. We admire those on TV, in magazines, in art, on the street...it's beauty and it should be appreciated. Now if he turns away from you to drool over someone walking down the street when you are in the middle of an important conversation that's one thing, but just to check out someone else is perfectly normal, for both of you. Just because you decide to be with someone, it doesn't mean that your attractions fail or disappear, but it also doesn't mean that checking someone out will lead to infidelity either. If he is checking out someone right in front of you, it also just means that he's that comfortable in your relationship that he feels he can do this without you getting upset or thinking he'll go out and cheat on you. He's with you for a reason after all. And that is one big reason that will drive a man away is to sit and nag about natural reactions! That's what makes the other side seem so much 'greener'. The hot chick seems less clingy, less filled with drama...that's what he wants in you:) If you have to try to stop your sig. other from checking out other people, it will only be a temporary fix that they may pacify you while in your presence, but it won't stop when they aren't around you, and then that's just a hassle. Just like if you have to force someone to change a certain way, it will only cause resentment and even them hiding and lying. He's doing absolutely nothing wrong, and maybe you should let go and try to just appreciate looking at other people and realize that just because you look, it doesn't affect how you feel about him.

My boyfriend doesn't blatantly check out other girls, but I had to talk to him about him commenting on how hot certain celebrities when we were watching tv. I told him before that it hurt my feelings a while ago and I guess he forgot, so he happened to say all these celebs were hot when we were watching tv one night and I got upset. He said he would stop it... I would furious if he was checking out any other girls. For New Years Eve I got upset at him because he kept saying hello to random girls and said he was just being "friendly."

A guy's going to fall in lust 10 times a day, more or less. But that doesn't mean that he's not attracted to you or wants to be with someone else.

I'm sure you knew that though, and I'm sure all girls know that. As a guy, he should know that even though girls know it's just looking (and whether we catch them or not, we know that guys do it), a a girl would rather be totally oblivious. So if he's not subtle at all about it, then that's pretty disrespectful and you should definitely call him on it and discuss it.

I check out hot guys and even hot girls all the time myself! I don't have a problem with my boyfriend doing it too. It doesn't mean we're going to (or even thinking about) cheat. A lot of times we even talk about it. We definitely always talk about what celebrities we find attractive=if you get jealous about that, then you are really overly sensitive!

My boyfriend does the same thing all the time and we've been together for almost 8 years.

It used to annoy me all the time, but as time passed i realize that i myself was ignoring it. just a waste of energy confronting him about it.

if he's sensitive enough, he'll correct himself.

Camille xoxo

hi! don't let this bother you too much! guys like to look a girls, and I'm sure you check out guys sometimes too. my boyfriend always comments when he finds a girl attractive,and we aruge, sometimes I agree and sometimes I disagree. it's fun! it just all depends how you look at it. I know he loves me and wouldn't do anything. if it really bothers you though, you should openly start checking out other guys,and if he calls you on it be like, what? I just saw you check HER out, so why can't I? and if he denies be like, well I wasn't doing anything either. on second thought, that may cause a fight. just let him know it's ok that he looks at other girls, but it hurts your feelings a little bit, especially when he denies it.

I think it is okay unless he costantly does it! Guys are visual orientated!

My boyfriend doesn't look at other women in that way. He's also not into porn and he finds strip clubs/gentlemen's clubs revolting, so I will never buy the "boys will be boys" thing. He's in love with me and worships the ground I walk on - always has and always will. I think all men notice in one way or another, but not all of them LOOK anymore than a glance the same as if it were a guy. My boyfriend says I'm his dream girl, and it's like if he had his dream car (Ferrari), he's not going to be looking at other cars on the street. Of course I asked him what if he saw another Ferrari, and he said he hasn't yet and we've been together nine years. I've never once seen him look at another women in a way I thought was disrespectful. So even if he is just good at hiding it and has been lying to me all of these years (as everyone who I've ever told thinks), then I'm in blissful ignorance and will be for the rest of my life. Win.

I think the problem is that he's obviously dismissing you when you notice him checking out other girls. I would never stand for my husband telling me that I'm, "Making it up" if I caught him checking out other girls. I mean...really? See, I can understand that most men (and women!) will check out others if they find them attractive, but there's a way of doing it so that you're not blatantly obvious. For those that have commented and said, "Oh, my bf/husband does that all the time!" I don't get that. How is it acceptable that while you are with your significant other, that they're ogling someone of the other sex right in front of you? Anytime myself or my husband see something like that, we comment on just how disgusting it really is. So you might want to mention to him that complete strangers that see him doing so think that he's a self-righteous pig.

My husband does that too and it never bothers me. You know, men are actually "visual" when it comes to opposite sex. I think it's acceptable because no matter how much you restrict these men, they do it. And am I, being the wife ,ever get hurt by that? Why would I? He just looks...can he go to the woman and ask her name and flirt with each other? No! If he does, then that's the time, I should be bothered and get hurt or angry. Life will be less stressful if we don't sweat out the "little things". Trust is essential here. If you trust your man enough that you don't get bothered by him looking at other women , that's a good marriage/relationship. In fact, I tease my husband whenever I catch him looking at other women, "Hey sweetie, do you think that woman you''r e looking at is hotter than me?" Then he' d say "No way, you're hotter than her...and I think those women looking like that are b*tches"...(LOLZ)..Then both of us just laughed about it.

I can see why it might frustrate you a little, but its going to happen. In fact, I'm sure you've checked out a few guys and just been a bit more subtle about it. You can make some joke about it every time he does it and get a good laugh out of it. its going to happen, and its not cheating at all.

I have to disagree with "boys will be boys". I agree more with "we're all human. Are you girls telling me that you don't check out a hot guy in your path? Why deny yourself?! Hehe.

But about the question and issue at hand: I think if your guy is checking other girls out so often and so blatantly when you are with him and you have expressed that is bothers/annoys/hurts you and he continues to do, he is an inconsiderate jerk. Try being more direct about it, is all I can think. Make sure he truly understands that it's not only rude but hurtful to you; if he cares about he will care about your feelings.

I have usually asked boyfriends to try not to check other girls out when they are with me. If they feel they must check someone out, I ask them to try to be discreet. Likewise, I try not to check out other guys when I am with my boyfriend and if I do so, I try to be discreet. Sometimes though, you bump into someone and look up and oh my god they are hot and you are just stunned for a second. Honestly, sometimes someone is so striking you can't help but look and be obvious.

Some girls don't like it and some don't care. I personally don't care that they do, but I feel it's disrespectful to check some girl out when his arm is around me or we are talking. Ask him to do it when he's not with you and to be less obvious when he Is with you. If he does it so much that it's a distraction to your time together, whether he's obvious about it or not, then there is a problem and he clearly would rather be with someone else or alone than with you. That's probably not the case. Just be clear with him.

If you're over sensitive, then you're "over-sensitive"...that's just who you are! I'm sure some man will be respectful of your wishes to be respectful to you.

Wow..I missed a ton of words in there. This is what happens when you respond to a post and keep getting up to do other things. Sorry!

I met a guy who thinks he’s fly but only when it’s convenient.

The truth is he’s full of lies and hides behind a falsehood that I believed in.

It started with the simple things that I could not let go, like when his eyes wander to the girl that just wants show.

As I sit beside him faithfully, he decides that she’s worth more than I. While some might think that this is nothing, I know it isn’t so. For it’s these little things that provide a glimpse of what the future brings - something I should have known. That I am here to fulfill a role of a brain and mind that satisfies a search for someone to share life with. But when it comes to satisfying other things, I am not her and he won’t even be discreet about showing it.

I agree with prentzel. I don't understand why guys get away with stuff because "they are guys". Yeah guys and girls are different, but not so different that guys can get away with stuff that isn't really accepted in society while girls can't. Guys can control themselves just like girls can! Saying that they "are just guys" is an unfair double standard! I agree that everyone will notice other nice looking people, it happens and it usually doesn't mean anything, but guys can tone it down and be polite about it just like all us girls are always expected to do.

I agree with Daisie too.

Oh jeez thats obnoxious. Its normal to check out people even if your in a relationship, but if he is doing it blatenly and obnoxious that is just rude.

What on earth is wrong with looking at other women?

I am so sick of women making excuses for men. Hey, women "are visual creatures" too! But a guy who respects you, he will be able to at least admire a physique so discretely, that you cannot tell, out of respect, because women "are jealous creatures". The fact is, women often feel threatened by that sort of thing, because they know that men are always on the scope for a newer and better mate, women who can be beguiled by material things when looks dont suffice (eliminating the mandatory need to keep his looks up, like women are "required" to do). If a man truly loves you and is committed to you, he's sensitive to your feelings about his response to that kind of "visual stimuli". In fact, the one or two times I've commented on how pretty a girl was, or her eyes or something, my boyfriend will mention if he noticed it too, and I'll be surprised every time that he even saw it, because he's so discrete about it that I couldnt pick up on it. He does it in such a way that I dont feel threatened at all, and we can indulge in eye candy together. But a guy that is always checking out other girls, to the point where you can tell? I'm sorry, I dont think those kinds of guys were ever commited in the first place, period. To those guys you're just a seat warmer until the better one comes along.

i think it really depends on what kind of relationship you have with your man. for example, my boyfriend and i are very open about who we think is attractive. we both happen to be very visual people (AMEN trixiefire - girls can look too!!). if you're really that uncomfortable about it, i'd like to think he'd respect you enough to tone it down a little. if you have reason to think his longing looks could every develop into more than just that, you two should talk. he needs to quit.

course you have the right to feel hurt, what girl wouldnt! she shouldnt feel the need to check out other girls if hes got the one he loves...

Majority of men have a wandering eye, but don't get stressed or think the worst, it doesn't mean he will be unfaithful on you or anything of that extent, if you really think about it, majority of women look at men as well, we just don't make it as obvious as men do...lol....I have been married to my husband for 2 years, we have been together altogether for 12 now, and believe me, he does the same thing as well, and makes it very obvious when he does. It used to bother me as well, and I told him how much it bothered me, but of course, he still does that...IT IS NORMAL and absolutely nothing to fret about. People wouldn't be normal if we all, both men and women, didn't find others attractive or look at other people. Like the comment made above, and I truly believe it, men are way more visual than women are. Only worry if things go over the extent of "just looking", which I don't think will happen, so please don't worry. Men can be pigs...lol....it's in their human nature! If he is "Gawking" rather than just looking, like doing the full head turn and stare down, you should tell him how it is disrespectful to do that in front of you, and ask him how he would like it if the situation was reversed. And most men will deny it when you ask them, so don't even bother, I have tried that in the past and it just doesn't work. They do this so they don't hurt your feelings or to avoid an argument. I hope things work out for you!