Not this exact problem. I don't expect anything from my BF BUT I did have to train him a little. We would be out shopping at the Mall, and I would point out the cute purse I have been dreaming about- Or Send him clips of the new jeans I have been wanting. I remember the First Christmas we were together he surprised me with a new Coach purse I had been wanting. It was the sweetest thing- and just the other day he sent me a Vermont teddy bear to my work!
I have trained him well! I just let him know that I need to feel special sometimes, and girly. We all want little surprises and gifts.

I would think your BF would try a little harder when it came to gift giving- yes it is materialistic but lets get real, we all want free sh&t!!

Maybe stop getting gifts for him and just return the favor.

That's not normal. He sounds lazy and he doesn't love you.

Train him?

I feel sorry for your boyfriend..

Make him a list.. That's what i do for my other half

HOW & WHY did you put up with this for over 2 years? When getting a present no matter how small, its the thought that counts. So the fact that your man has never gotten you anything for any occasion just shows that he doesn't think much about you, and why should he change you've been putting up with this for over 2 years. I feel bad for you because I've seen marriages like this where the wife goes all out with presents and the husband has no courtesy or compassion to get her anything ever. Its very very hurtful and sad. I would have long ago dumped the loser because to me if you get gifts from your partner and you don't do the same in return it shows your selfish and not as caring. I'm sure he knows your upset by this and the best he could do was make up a lame excuse that your not into anything. I personally would move on because a lifetime of this is very depressing. Imagine every birthday knowing that your man is not going to buy you a gift or make you something. It's not even about being some type of golddigger it's just affirmation that someone cares about you and thought about you and wants to celebrate you with a simple gift.

I really don't see why he would all of a sudden change after over 2 years of this behavior but if you are treated like a queen in all other areas of the relationship then I guess you could have a heart to heart with him and let him know how you feel about this. I hope your not crazy enough to be buying HIM gifts for all occasions!

I give my boyfriend a list of things I want before a major event. I'll put them up on the noticeboard in the kitchen and then he'll know what he HAS to buy me to make me squeal with joy.

He's getting better though. He won't buy me lots of small presents but he will buy me BIG ones. I've had an iPhone, a digital camera (though I'm not sure why but it was nice nonetheless!), a k800i mobile phone and a w880i mobile phone.

You need to train your man! Don't sit back and accept it.

After 16 months of being with my guy and exhausting most present options it's getting harder but I can still manage to come up with things.

He needs to go EXTRAVAGANT if he wants to buy you presents, tell him that! What girl doesn't secretly want a Tiffany necklace or a new mobile phone??

i would just tell him its the thought of a gift that counts in the end and by him buying you nothing, its showing that he just doesn't care. tell him you aren't asking because you want expensive gifts or anything, its just the lack of effort he puts in makes you wonder why.

Perhaps he is just cheap. Even if he doesn't know you he can always ask what you want for an occasion.

He sounds "cheap" to me.

Seriously... How hard is it to pick up a gift card to your favorite store... Or a book store or a target?

Do you get him a gift for each of these major occasions?

I could understand him maybe being shy at the begininng of your relationship... But two years in? He should know you enough to know what you would appreciate.

I had a boyfriend (briefly) in college who never liked to go out anywhere because he didn't like to spend money. I was a "poor college student" too, but there was plenty of cheap stuff to do. (Cheap movies, dinner at Taco Bell, coffee...)

I eventually had to dump him because I didn't want to end up marrying the guy... Could you imagine how boring life would be if all you did was hang around the house and watch wrestling on TV?

Ugh... No thanks. I say you talk straight to your boyfriend and give him a chance to get you a gift... Other wise, wrap HIM up and send him packing for good.

I cant believe you put up with this for two years. I mean Ive dated guys that obviously bought the first thing they were shown in a store that was in their price range- but they at least went and got SOMETHING(even though it left me wondering if they actually had met me or had me confused with someone else).

Apparently you cant rely on being subtle with him- email him links to sites with things you want on them, tickets to concerts, jewelry (after two years, you deserve something shiny for sure), hell even a wish list from amazon.com or something would at least give him somewhere to start. If he doesnt come up with something then - bc honestly, it takes two seconds to buy something from a list YOU provided online- then he just doesnt really care about you and you should really consider upgrading your boyfriend.

Yes Train. I dont see how thats much different than a list?? I showed him what I want, you told him.

He sounds insensitive and uncaring about your emotional needs. And he's probably cheap to boot. Does he even take you out on dates every once in a while?
My boyfriend says I'm very hard to buy for, but he still managed to have a pile of very thoughtful Christmas presents for me on Tuesday.

Oh, and Amazon.com has a wish list. There's also thethingsiwant.com. Show him a link. If he doesn't get it, find someone new who has common decency.

this is so funny.... i had/have this same problem. we have been dating for 5 years! there have been some big arguments over this. we solved this problem!

what you need to do is:

write him a list of things you like and were to buy them.

It seams like it would take the surprise away but it dosent! Try it and make the list long. If i dont write were to buy the gifts.... i dont get them. hope this helps!!

OK I can somewhat relate - although not anymore. For my 20th birthday (it was the first one celebrated with him) we had been together for about 6 months. I found tickets to a Ween Concert and he paid for my ticket. He asked if that could be my birthday present even though the concert was a few weeks before my birthday. I said yes, but secretly I thought he woud get me something on top of that! My birthday came and went and...nothing. I was really upset so I brought it up. He said that the Ween tickets were my present. I explained to him that he has to do MORE than that in order to make me happy. So for ChrismaHannuNewYears he got me a beautiful sapphire and diamond necklace and a couple other things. It was easy to forgive him after that. SO all you have to do is TELL him how you feel. If you want him to buy you gifts, tell him what you want!!! Or if you see a commercial for something you like say something EVERY time it comes on. I wanted the Nintendo DS for a really long time and just last week he gave it to me! So there is hope. Maybe he has just never had a girlfriend before where they exchanged gifts. It's not his fault.

He sounds like an ass. You deserve better than this! Tell him that. With no exceptions.

And. Whenever boys tell me that they never know what to get their girlfriends, I always tell them that you can NEVER go wrong with something sparkly - not necessarily jewelry, but that's always nice, but anything with any sort of embellishment generally makes women squeal!

Um...speak up?

I've been with my guy for about 3 years. Sometimes men in general can be oblivious to womens hints, to get him to buy you something you need/want you probably need to be more upfront with him. Like some other girls made lists or just tell him. If you want a less direct and in your face way just drop heavy hints. Think anvils.

dump his ass after two years you deserve SOMETHING he sounds like he's an inconsiderate person who is blaming YOU for HIM not getting you anything and who really doesnt deserve the time of day and if he really doesnt know you then go out there and find somebody who does!!

Stop being a pushover and speak up. Don't drop hints either, the latter is for the weak and the foolish. It seems odd that he wouldn't get you something, seems like common sense to me. Do you get him stuff?

Don't try to 'train' him. That's silly. Be an adult and talk to him about it frankly and honestly. Get him to open up about this little quirk of his.
How can you be in a relationship and just opt out of gift giving? Is there a box you check somewhere? I assume he takes you to dinner or sends flowers instead? If not, you need to get rid of this guy. Sounds like has some issues. Like this one guy I dated who took serious offense to hearing 'God bless you' after he sneezed... Some guys have quirks that are just deal breakers.

Mmm, Tiffany's, lol.

My hubby knows what I think about gifts. I often tell him that I don't need them and that I'd rather have more money in the saving account.

But he still manages to give me gifts at least 3 times a year. Because he wants me to feel special and happy during those occasion. He's getting good because he says that he pays attention to what I want throughout the year for either X-mas, Valentine's or birthday.

Your bf is ODD. If this bothers you so much, you really need to TALK to him from at least 1 1/2 years ago I'd not let that get away for THAT long. Talk to him, express concern and tell him that you DO WANT gift, albeit not always the most expensive, just the thoughts that count...

Good luck.

If you want something from him, you should let him know. Maybe he's just a thrifty miser. It's good to not be so materialistic anyway. But, if that's his excuse for not getting you gifts...then that is super lame.

Some of the replies here are slightly unsettling. Training him? Are you people kidding me?

People demand to much material STUFF from those they love. It's sick.

I think it's fine to want gifts etc but if it's only for the gift itself, well, then, I agree with Jacinthe's comment above. But I think you are probably more looking for the attention and knowledge that he cares right? I know that a lot of times girls like to ask for gifts, etc, but really, we just want the attention to know that we're desired and interesting and loved! The gift itself is not that important as long as the attention and thoughtfulness is in it. I'd be wary of gift cards and DVDs because sometimes they can be misconstrued as not that thoughtful, but if your boyfriend starts out with these small steps he can eventually work up to different gifts (especially if you communicate!).

he never gets you ANYTHING? that's pretty bad...
this christmas was a struggle for my man and i because we have a sort of generation gap and i have reeeally unique style. we actually ended up having an argument right in the middle of the mall because all he did was b*tch about how hard i was to shop for. the solution came when we found a store that i love and let him loose in it, because i knew that i would like whatever he picked in there. yeah, you can "train" the guy, but the easier route is to just give him crystal clear options. give him a wishlist to choose from on a website, tell him a store to go to, or even just tell him specifically what you want. i wouldn't jump to the conclusion that he doesn't care about you, i think he's just really unsure of what you would like, and it frustrates him to the point of not getting you anything at all.

Eeesh..some of you are too up tight for my taste. Take a joke- Yes, I train my BF like dog. And if he is good, he even gets a treat!

FluffyHelen~
the digital camera is for taking pictures with...
NEKKID pictures!

Haha!
Yes. That's pretty much it.

=)

I've told him I need a new Macbook Pro so that I can edit them all ~

HE SOUNDS CHEAP, he doesnot want to spend the money, honey. He's also insensitive to your feelings and needs. I am wondering have you recieved a birthday, christmas present ever? And Valentine's day is around the corner, whats going to be his excuse then.Sorry for being a little petty, but I couldn't be with him.All women like to treated well, with surprises.

uh if its christmas or your birthday you should be getting a gift.
theres NO excuse.

he just doesnt feel like spending his money so he came up with that lame excuse

It's great to read the above comments and then wonder what kind of entitlement comes up. How about making an atmosphere of gift giving? Get him a few things and maybe the favour might be returned.... I guess his time, attention and love is just not enough for a lot of the women here eh?? if you want something be frank about it. That is tell him in no uncertain terms what >exactly

When you see things on tv or in the mall, point it out and say man i'd love to have that! Or hint that your bday or christmas is coming up.. if he doesn't get it, it's because he's choosing not to

No gifts? That just won't do. No no no! One for me and one for you. Gifts are a form of love you see. Not really a necessity. Everyone deserves a little gifty here and there. Time to change that or it's just not fair. Every girl needs some perfume, some jewelry, with champagne, a ring. C'mon now. Lets all sing.
There must be something nice. If not a gift certificate will suffice. You see I wrote a little song which is also what will help him along.