WOW WOW WOW.

It's never a good idea to give a pet as a present. I have to agree with your boyfriend that it's a HUGE responsibility. Obviously he is allowed to have dogs but people don't get over grieving that fast. It took me a year to get over the passing of my dog. I feel bad for the puppy because it had no idea what was going on. I would forgive you, because it was out of good intent.

However, learn a lesson from this...

Your boyfriend has a funny way of dealing with his emotions. I mean, why get mad when you helped? That would have made my day. I think you need to just give him some space... I'm sure he would understand that you only tried to help.

I think your intentions were in the right place - I think his reaction was way wrong. While one should never give a pet as a holiday present, I can understand why you wanted to do it

I honestly think he's acting like an overly dramatic chick.

Someone get Mr. Susan Lucci a tissue for his issues.

of course you should be forgiven- however you do have to understand where he is coming from! having a dog as a member of your family for a long time is not something that can be easily replaced only a couple months later. you definitely should have talked it over with him first. explain to him you weren't trying to replace his old job and you just thought it would help and that you just didn't understand. i'm sure once his grief subsides a bit he'll forgive you too!

You are absolutely forgiven...what a sweet and caring gesture that was! However, purchasing another pet is a huge responsibility, so perhaps you should have waited until he was ready and then gone out to pick out a dog together. Maybe he didn't want the same breed of dog, or something like that.

I do think he's being a little dramatic about it though...so I suggest keeping the puppy for now. At least until your bf stops acting like a diva about it. Then discuss what you need to do.

i would forgive! you were trying to do something nice when you saw the opportunity... it wouldn't have been a surprise like you wanted to if you would have asked him and he should realize that. he is still very emotional, but you didn't know.

i lost my dog to cancer too, and it took me a while to get over that loss.. i don't think i would ever have reacted this way though.. but even now, almost a year later, i don't think i'd want the same kind of dog. seeing another golden retriever around, i think it would make me sad. errr... just some extra information there :S

I vote to forgive. However he DID tell you that he would want to wait awhile...and you waited only two months. No wonder he wasnt ready yet. In trying to be thoughtful, you werent thoughtful enough. Lesson learned. I still vote to forgive, because you were just tryin' to be nice and/or helpful.

I said forgive BUT - it is funny this post came now cause a couple of hours ago I emailed PetSugar and asked her about writing a post about how irresponsible it is to give a pet as a present! Christmas is right around the corner and I am sure there are many pets that are going to be given to the wrong persons. Poor pets!!

I said forgive, and I get where you both are coming from. You just wanted to cheer him up and do something sweet, but pets as gifts is so iffy to begin with, especially after the death of a beloved pet of the same breed. From my own experience, it only took me a few months, but it was because I just missed having a cat around, and knew we wouldn't be able to find one as special as the cat we had for about fourteen years and was a part of the family, and I went and picked one out that was a completely different look and personality.

I also am kind of wondering about all his tears...it's great he's sensitive, but is he usually like this, or has he just started acting this way? Maybe the post-pet depression is pretty serious.

Pets are not presents, so this wasn't a good idea in first place. But it depends, did you want this dog too? Will you care for him, walk him, feed him, pay for him? Then I think that's alright, but you can't force someone to do all these things without asking. As cute as they are, I know, it's a commitment for 10-15yrs so you can't make this decision for someone else.

I would be FURIOUS if someone bought me a pet as a present without discussing it with me first, and crushed if it happened shortly after a pet died. You cannot decide for someone else when they are ready to move on. My fiance's childhood dog passed away in September and he was DEVASTATED (he received the dog to help him cope after his father passed away when he was 9). I would never, ever judge when he was ready for another pet -- only he can decide that. Plus, who says he wants the same breed of dog? I know my fiance wouldn't want another Cairn terrier -- too much like trying to replace the previous dog. You should just be happy that he at least thanked you for the kind gesture and understood that you meant no harm, but he absolutely has the right to be even more upset now.

Thank you ladies, I did want to add that, but forgot. My breeder would flick me on the nose if she knew. Animals are not supposed to be gifts, especially, imo, Christmas gifts.

I think your gesture was sweet, but I can see where your boyfriend is coming from. Is there any way you can take care of the puppy until he's ready?

I think your intentions were in the right place, but your actions were a little clueless. People who either don't have pets or don't consider their pets part of the family just don't really seem to grasp how some people feel about their pets. I doubt it even occurred to you that showing up unannounced with a replacement family member would not be well received. And I can see how he would be hurt that you didn't understand that about him.

But, like I said before, your intentions were good and you should definitely be forgiven. You've learned something about your boyfriend and something about pet responsibility and he should know that you wanted very much to make him happy.

Your heart was in the right place, so forgive. But I agree with your boyfriend that you should've discussed it with him first. I've loved all my pets but didn't always want to tackle a new one right after losing one. I would still be sad over the one I lost and wasn't always sure I wanted to take on the responsibility again. That's a really personal decision.

You should watch the October Road (ABC) rerun of last week's episode!!!!! Same exact thing happened - and eventually the guy was okay and understood. Good Luck!!!

Just a random note: Please don't buy animals.. EVER! There are way too many animals that need homes and using a breeder or buying is wrong IMO as everytime someone buys a dog many more will die!

In other words: Go to your local shelter and adopt if you are ready to take on the responsiblity that is having a dog, cat, etc.

The lady gave her the dog.. I agree with alisha stileto.That was really nice of you.

Forgive! What you did was such a kind and loving gesture. As much as I adore animals I get over the grief quickly so (to me) 2 months is alot of time to have grief. I cry a few times and then just accept it because there's no changing it. You didn't do anything wrong; he said that he would get another dog so you waited and gave him one; and he must be up for the responsibility since he had a dog so what would be so different now? Yes, I know he's grieving of the loss of the last dog however I think having a dog sooner would help him move on since you have to realize that during the time he's taking to grieve - he could be giving a new puppy a good home and the love it needs.

As my post said 'Random Note' wasn't specifically directed to the post- but to someone talking about their breeder and the fact that many individuals give animals for the Holidays.

Forgive- you had the best intentions, who knew he would take it that way! Not sure on what your situation is about having pets, but you should keep her for yourself. He will eventually come around and be able to let another animal in his (once full) heart.

Pets shouldn't be surprise presents-- being taken away from its mother and litter and then returned is pretty unsettling for a dog. I think you should have discussed this with him first, sorry.

Well I do think it would have been great to consult your boyfriend.. I know your heart and intentions were in the right place. I think your boyfriend needs to grow up a little bit. You were only being sweet and of course he kind of acted like a wuss. Losing a pet is a major major thing.. But unfortunately that is a part of life. I think he needs to grow up.

It doesn't matter how 'good' your intentions were when his pet just died and he's still grieving. Not to mention that he said it would take a while before considering another. It doesn't matter how much you love him when you don't respect his feelings and that's exactly what this looks like. Do you not listen when people speak? Or should they be good and ready when it's good for you? It matters a hell of a lot when you consider someone else's feelings before your own.

Sure you should be forgiven because you meant no harm, but you were wrong. I'm sure you realize that now. Just take this as a lesson and try to listen more closely. If you really thought you were listening well, then maybe you shouldn't trust your instincts until they get better, and always ask questions before making assumptions. Getting a pet without knowing absolutely that the person wants one is definitely a no-no, regardless of other circumstances.

It is totally forgivable. While you should have talked to him about it first, a new pet really helps with the grieving process. It isn't about replacing the previous dog, but learning to love another. You should give him time and he will probably come around. My cousin lost her dog, Mena, over the summer and was devasted; she cried for weeks. However, she had the courage to get a new dog, and while she still hurts and thinks about Mena, the new puppy has definitely brightened her days. Much love.

And I don't think his reaction was wrong either. It appears he's an emotional guy. We don't really know how upset he got. It's understandable that he thought that his girlfriend didn't understand him at that point, or thought what many have posted, that it was inappropriate to get a dog for someone else when it requires a lot of responsibility. I've never really had a strong emotional bond with a pet, but I'm willing to cut some slack for others who might. He did mention that he appreciated the gesture. I'm sure he'll get over this lapse in judgment soon.

Well, he doesn't seem to be mad at you from your description. Even though the gift wasn't the best idea, he let you know that he appreciated the gesture. I guess you should try to give the puppy away now...

Your heart was in the right place, but still, getting a pet is a huge, personal, long term commitment, and you should have discussed it with him first. I think this says a lot about him, so keep this in mind in the future. Still...you were just trying to help, so I vote for forgiveness.

You meant well but Never Ever give a pet as a gift! I do understand how you though it would help though. But a pet is not an ipod its not a new jacket a pet is something that needs as much love and care as a child. That is a responsibility that only the potential owner should make.

Forgive, most of it has been covered so I won't reirterate. I don't think he is really upset at you -- just annoyed that you did not listen to him and probably feels bad about this puppy who was returned. And absolutely do not keep the puppy unless you want him for yourself, do not listen to the advice of some who say you should keep him because he may come around, that would piss him off and would hurt the puppy even more. I do hope this puppy gets a loving forever home.

i voted forgive. i don't see why not to forgive you didn't do anything bad but tried to help. My boyfriend got me a dog but i was ready for it, i kind of knew he was getting her so it is kind of different. hey why don't you keep the puppy? you could keep it and then just bring it around your boyfriend.

forgive for sure but seriously, it was a real bad idea. I can only believe that you have never lost a beloved pet and did not fully understand his feelings of loss.

Hmm...i dont know how i feel about this whole thing. It seems like a lot of posts support the idea that grieving an animal takes a long time. I can see where your bf is coming from but then again i think you were looking to do what you thought was right.

As for giving a pet as a present, I sort of support the idea. I mean would it be wrong for two parents to decide to give a puppy to their child for christmas. That seems like a nice idea. When I went away to college, my little sister was very upset. My parents agreed that it would be a good idea to get my sister a puppy for her birthday...so she would have some company while i was away. It turned out to be a great thing.

I think you meant well, but it was inconsiderate of his feelings. Two months is a VERY short time for grieving and from what you said, he's clearly not ready. And yes I wholeheartedly agree with him - getting a pet is a personal decision and big responsibility!

wowww this is extremely ironic, the EXACT same thing happened on last week's episode of october road! his reaction was the same too. realllly weird.

I chose 'forgive.'
Your heart is in the right place, unfortunately, he's not done grieving yet, and yes, pet is a HUGE responsibility. Apologize to him for not asking him first, other than that, he should be able to get over this. You meant well, and it's just bad timing.

You're a sweet girl, I'm sure he will really appreciate your good intention, looking back.

Good luck.

lily3484- Parents getting a pet as a gift for a child is completely different - the parents are the ones actually making the commitment and taking responsibility for the pet. If it needs vet care, is the child going to pay for it? You see what I mean...

You should definitely be forgiven, because you haven't done anything wrong. It was a very sweet idea you had, and I think everyone here agrees with that. It's not you who has the issue, it's your boyfriend and he is still mourning the loss of his dog, which is a very hard thing to get over.

He probably didn't know how to react. =[ I hope everything works out, and I'm sorry the gift didn't go as planned.

Your heart was in the right place but it was definitely a bad idea. When someone loses a pet, it has to be up to them when it is the right time to get another (if they choose to do so). I don't think it's unforgivable, but your boyfriend has every right to be upset.

This is why i don't do crap for ppl. its a dog!

I've had pets over the years, and when they die, it's hard. but F*ck. get over it. they are not like humans where you expect them to live well into their 70s 80s and beyond. . . .

he should not be mad at you. I wouldn't be. he should be glad that you were trying to cheer him up versus thinking he's a cry baby about the situation. then he would accuse you of not caring so much.

don't buy nothing else for his a*s again. he's sensitive like a f*ckin girl!!!!!!!!!

Guys are dumb. ANY girl would understand that was a great gesture on your part.

I'm undecided. I get that your intentions were good, but your actions are a HUGE indicator as to how you may deal with future issues in a relationship. If it happened to me, I'd have to step back and take a good look at this person, who is capable of making such an insensitive decision but being so truly clueless about it. It really displays a lack of understanding for your partner and his emotions, and also a lack of respect. Hmm... tricky.

wow. how sensitive . . .

you same ppl will be writing about wanting to break up, and you guys will say you should talk it out, whan whan whan . . .

how old is everyone on here?? 16???

suck that crap up.

be glad that she even though about it.

maybe it wasn't the best choice, but it's not like she kicked a puppy infront of him, or told him to get over it.

what a waste of time . . .

take the puppy back, get your money back. appologize. move on. if he dwells on it, then that tells you that he's a weenie . . .and if this is true, i'm sorry you wasted 3 years on a weenie.

you meant well, but it was a mistake.

now can we get a reall story, with some real adult situations . ..you know, infidelity, sucky mother in laws . . .etc.

I voted Forgive. you were only trying to be nice...your intentions where good

While it is never okay to give a pet as a gift without some kind of prior discussion/decision, I definitely think that you should be forgiven. After all, your actions were coming from the right place and you did not mean any harm. You were trying your best to make him happy. I think that not only should you be forgiven, but that he had no real reason to get mad at you in the first place.

I think he should forgive you...
I mena if my boyfriend did the same I would forgive him, it's an honest mistake and you didn't mean to hurt him.

As it was said, it's never really a good idea to give someone a pet as a gift. It's just assuming and pushing responsibility on someone. I know you had nothing but good intentions though. At least you were trying to help.

If anything I would be a little more concerned that a grown man is THIS upset still about losing his dog. Hurt, sad, maybe still a tad depressed, but bursting out crying?

Your intentions were good and your heart was in the right place, forgive of course!