I like the "just a drink" idea for a first date. It's a way to get to know each other in a more relaxed environment. Lounges are calming and not all that noisy. And in NY/NJ they're not smelly either! Having a drink is so casual and it will help relax you; obviously you shouldn't drink too much.

More importantly than all that is, if the date is a bust, you don't have to wait until your dinner is over to leave. You can just finish your drink, say you're tired and call it a night.

In my opinion, a first date can be anything!
From casual drinks, to bowling, to skating...I don't think it HAS to be dinner...
Anyways sometimes dinner first dates suck! You can get stuff stuck in your teeth and you don't know what you should order...

yea i dunno.. dinner is a nice way to sit and talk with eachother.. but i mean in some cases you can be soo nervouse that the last thing on your mind is eating!!.. soo i think an activity would also be a great first date!! like mini golf!! thats always fuN! ... or go karting!

nah, my bf and i went for a drink, then coffee shop for hours. no meal necessary.

Dinner's fine, but no way is it a must. Going for coffee, a drink or even just dessert can be a lot of fun, with less pressure. My first date with my husband was over iced tea. No food -- just iced tea, followed by a walk along the river. It was lovely.

Why not do something different on their first date, it's more memorable that way!

bars are fun...what's wrong with a bar?

and in case you're not feelin him, it's easier to leave the guy with a beer than a steak dinner, right?

You are old fashioned DS! Dinners are so passe. It's all about a drink or a talk over coffee nowadays so you can get the hell out if you don't like the guy! Then if you do like him the next date can be dinner!

No I don't think dinner is a must at all. A bar can be nice, not a dark, noisy one like u described. But there are nice lounges, bars etc to go to. At least in NY. That would be more fun.

Dinner isn't a must. In fact, I think it's a little "cliche" to go to dinner on a first date. I prefer some kind of "active" date, such as bowling, mini golf, etc. Anything that keeps continuous communication going is good. Plus, you get to find out whether they're a natural athlete, if they have a competitive streak, or if they're just a "softy" who knows how to let a lady win.

I, in fact, hate the first date dinner scenario. You get too nervous facing each other to really have a great conversation, your wondering if your eating too much garlic, did I spill on myself, does my breath smell?

I think that an active date is much better. In fact my first date with my bf was sledding in the park by our houses.

If I wasn't sure if I was really that interested, I'd probably opt for a drink or two instead. That way, you can escape quickly and easily if there's nothing there.

If I was really into the person and getting to know him, a dinner would be a great way to do that.

But I think a first date activity can really be anything you want it to be...

Drinks and appetizers are just fine on a first date. Especially when you're still trying to get a feel for each other. It's just the right amount of time. And if you want to extend the date, you can just take walks or find something else to do!

My now long-term, and fantastic, boyfriend and I started our dating off with a casual drink! We found we enjoyed each other's company, and ended up getting a drink the next day, meeting for the coffee the day after that, then a fancy schmancy dinner that was clearly meant to impress me...but, he soon learned that wasn't the thing to do with me...especially since I took HIM out for a fancy schmancy dinner the next date. He still says that impressed him the most - he says most girls say they want it to be equal, but expect the man to pay for everything. I actually proved I wanted it equal. And I do to this day, years later. Hehe. Do drinks or coffee first, and like everyone says, if it gets bad, you can just peaaaaaace out!

No but not for the reason given. First dates are purely individual, do what's fun and what helps you get to know that person.

I agree with all the others. And I think a first date can be anything that you please! My current boyfriend and I had our first "date" in our friends living room! We sat and talked for hours and hours and we didn't have to be anywhere, spending any money or doing anything extraordinary to have a good time. You have all the time DURING a relationship to go out to dinner together so why not do something different while it is still in that development phase!

It doesn't have to be a dinner, but a "just drinks" date doesn't sound too promising to me.

It depends on where the drinks take place if it is a noisey club than forget it. I think it is less pressure and if you decide to have dinner you can go somewhere else.

I never do dinner on a first date. like others have mentioned, coffee or a drink is the perfect way to get to know each other without pressure (and with an easy escape if necessary). A martini or wine bar, or a nice lounge have soft music and comfy chairs. If you time the drink around cocktail hour it can always lead to dinner (provided the conversation is flowing).

"A martini or wine bar, or a nice lounge have soft music and comfy chairs."

Exactly. Getting together for a drink doesn't always mean a loud and smelly bar.

dinner is nice for a first date, and so are the movies, but they both are very typical. i dont think meeting for drinks is the worst idea, as i met my boyfriend of nearly two years at the bar. maybe something seasonal like going ice skating or going to see the nutcracker would be good alternatives to the bar scene for a first date.

I agree with Greggie, its 2007 some lounges/bars are actually nice. I wouldnt be upset with the drink vs. dinner.

Just "drinks" is a nice way of keeping things easy going. No pressure...there are so many great places to get together these days and if things are not going well you can always leave after the first drink and not feel stuck...

I've had lots of different first dates. The movies, an afternoon walk through the park, dinner, drinks, a car ride, the beach. There aren't any rules to it as far as I know.

Dinner is always nice, but definitely not a must for a first date. I had a first date for drinks that went so well that we ended up having dinner. But that wasn't planned.

hahaha the same scenario happened to me. i was shocked to find out the first date wasn't going to be the traditional dinner and drinks but rather just out for drinks. personally, i dont think dinner has to necessarily be the first date, but i think just going out for drinks can be interpreted the wrong way. i think going out for just drinks should be something that could be done after the first date, once you feel comfortable enough having more than 2 drinks around the new person. at least with dinner, you had the food to counteract any drink(s) you might have, preventing anything silly that might get said or done.

i think just drinks is perfect. pick a nice bar that isn't too loud and crowded. i like to go to a local one that has some pool tables, so if conversation lacks at least you can shoot a game of pool! a little friendly conversation usually gets you both to loosen up and have some fun!

No... my best 1st date was when we went to the High Museum of art/////it was perfect walking around being able just to talk and have one on one time among the art....

Dinner on first dates?? Well in my opinion yeah dinner is an option, but a movie, skatin,a walk on the park, or just about anythin that allowes u to get to know the other person works. The have a drink part well not really into drinkin on my frst dates so it depends on what you into.

One of my favorite first dates was over drinks! I think it's a great concept because like others have said if the chemistry is not flowing, it's just a casual drink and then you can split. But if you hit it off, you can always grab dinner afterwards or continue the date elsewhere. Coffee would work just as well!

If guys always took me to dinner on the first date, I don't think I'd get very many second dates...I'm kind of shy, and I get flustered in awkward situations. If you don't know each other well or get nervous easily, there's nothing to talk about BUT the food! I prefer to let my more bubbly side show through by doing something active. My first date with my bf was all over town- the arcade, Chuck E. Cheese's, a walk in the park- with a late night dinner to finish it all off, AFTER we'd become comfortable with each other.

My first date with my current boyfriend was a movie and frozen yogurt. It was awesome, too.

coffeeee no pressure and perfect atmosphere:)

No, dinner isn't a must. A first date can be whatever you want. Go for: a drink, coffee, lounge, a fun beach date, a sport etc... I think a date is more memorable and creative if it isn't a regular dinner date.

This is a ridiculous question. What century are we in again? I'm so confused. Why would dinner be "a must"? What's so horrible about a short date over drinks with no commitment, just a getting-together? This is just a silly question. Can't we just decide for ourselves whether drinks or dinner is appropriate for our own situation? Some might want dinner - good for them! Others don't really care... so why so judgmental of others' choices?

I like the idea of dinner. that way, if he's a bastard and a half, i still get a free meal. you have to look at the positive ladies . . .

but really, i like dinner for a first date, because you learn a lot about a person this way;

-how he regards and treats ppl (the servers, valet, etc.)
-his finances (not necessarily if he's ballin', but if he's cheap, or if he manages his money well. i went on a date with one guy and he had to use 2 different credit cards to pay for dinner- we ate at Chili's!)
-how well rounded and cultured he is; (chewing with mouth open. knowing how to order wine. knowing the difference between sashimi and sushi, etc)
-his social life ( dated a guy who knew everyone that came through the restaurant. he said he didn't have children, but one of the guys he knew asked about his son! BUSTED.)

so dinner isn't so bad. . . and like i said, if he's a lying, cheap-skate biggot, then you still go home with a full stomach).

Dinner can be anything, but i think whoever asked whoever out should have an idea of what they are going to do so that there not just stuck driving around lol.

The date should be what the couple is comfortable with. If they are really interested in and attracted to each other, they will have fun no matter where they are !

Def don't need to have dinner on your first date!!

I think that dinner IS a great way to get to know someone. Which is what all first dates are all about. Althuogh, I don't think it has to always be dinner that you do in order to connect with the person. There are plenty of other ways to do it but I just don't think a bar is ideal. A bar will only make you feel pressured to drink more which may ultimately leave you or your date in a state of mind that may or may not be natural.

I really don't think a dinner will determine whether you'll marry him or not...it's just to get to know someone. this is what's wrong with women sometimes. They measure up a man the minute they sit down for a meal and then b*tch about the man's shortcomings afterwards. stop assuming he's prince charming over mashed potatos.

maybe he'll act like a fool after one-too-many and make you laugh. haha.

I think it's silly to have a list of musts for any situation. If the guy is someone you really like are you seriously going ot turn down a chnace to spend time with him just because he didn't suggest the "proper" activity? There are lots of ways to meet and get to know new people these days it's not really about how you do it as long as you make a connection

I would rather not go out to dinner on a first date, as the poll suggests, too much pressure.
I wouldn't want to go for just drinks in a bar either though. A walk, a skate, something like that would be way cooler.

I really like casual lunch dates.

Dinner is a better second or third date.

Just go with the flow!

TO BE HONEST SOMETHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY SOUNDS NICE...I LOVE IT WHEN I GET TO GO OUT ON A FUN DATE TO A PLACE I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO OR WOULD NOT HAVE THOUGHT OF FOR A DATE...

i think a dinner date would be a fabulous second date to enable the couple to get to know each other more. Dinner on a first date may be akward.

how about dinner at home? my boyfriend and i had our first date over pizza and watching shows on the discovery channel. our next date was at a park. i find even coffee and reg dinner dates to be weird.

coffee Always ...
or Beer ... and jet if you get uncomfortable ...