Does she say why she did it? And she didn't sleep with him just once, she did it multiple times. I personally would write her off, though at least she had the nerve to tell you.

Iwould end it. Why is she telling you now? I guess if you kept her as a friend you now know what she is capable of and can be better prepared so it doesn't happen again. Maybe she envied you and wanted what you had?

awww. *HUGS* well,, you've tried to contact her but she on the other hand doesn't seem to be wanting to be in contact with you. as sucky as that sounds, you've done you're part. and probably move on.... you have better friends.

HELLZ NO, don't be friends with her anymore!!! With friends like that who needs enemies? Stop trying to contact her, cut your loses and drop the b*tch!

I would forgive her, since she came clean... HOWEVER, I would NOT stay friends with her.

How could you trust her ever again?

you did your part. its her turn next, whether its guilt or not, she shouldn't be acting that way. how come you're the one doing all the chasing to her. that's just plain wrong. besides, she slept with him not just one time but MULTIPLE times. thats not what friends do to one another. dump her!

She's obviously extremely immature.
She sends YOU a note, bringing the whole concept up, and then SHE doesn't return your calls or messages?
She's not worth your energy. You've been hurt enough.
Ditch her.

Don't contact her any further. In fact, when.if you get to her and vice versa, think long and hard before continuing any kind of friendship with her and even forgiving her.

I think you've handled the situation very well. She knows where you stand, and if in the future she gets the guts to contact you again and offer more of an explanation (and a freaking huge apology), so be it. But in the mean time, I think you should probably move on. That's an incredibly hurtful thing to do a supposed friend, and if there is some relationship left to salvage, she needs to be the one doing the heavy lifting.

With friends like her, who needs enemies. Don't waste another ounce of energy on her. It would be one thing if she'd had a weak moment and was with him once, but that's not the case. She wasn't thinking about you when she did that, so don't think about her now just because she's made you aware of the situation.

It'll be hard for you for awhile, but move on. Forget her and forget the ex.

Not answering your calls is enough said. This girl simply doesn't care about you nor your feelings. I would just let you have it since she let your man have it... I kid, however she's not even worth reasoning.

There is no way I would continue my friendship with this backstabbing wh*re. And, I would go ahead and stop calling her your best friend. IF she was your best friend, or a friend at all for that matter, she would not have slept with your boyfriend. What's to say she won't do it with every one of your boyfriends or husbands for the rest of your life? That is just something that is completely unforgivable. And don't let the fact that ya'll were friends for 7 years eat at you. Unfortunately, it took her 7 years to show you her true colors. This type of behavior falls into the "worst type of female" category!

What kind of "best friend" would do such a thing? A best friend is someone you confide in and can talk private matters about, vice versa. You would think she'd have the balls to come up and tell you herself of what she had done, but writing you a letter is the easy way out of this situation. Plus the fact she won't even talk to you after you read the letter is enough to end this friendship. Usually, people deserve second chances, but this one is an exception.

Honestly...it's not worth keeping her around.
Don't make excuses for her (her being desperate and all)...
Friends don't do that.
And you're better off WITHOUT such a friend.

Did she sleep with him before or after you broke up? I think that makes a huge difference.

Either way, I kind of have to disagree with the majority. Perhaps you should write her off, I'm just not sure I'd be able to. I say send her one more letter, stating that you'd like to meet to discuss this, because she's your best friend of seven years, and you'd hate to believe she did this to be hurtful. Sit down and talk it out, and see how you feel. Of course you're hurt, but after hearing her talk about what happened, are you more hurt or angry? If you had time to cool down, could this relationship be saved? Go with your gut instinct, and either way, don't feel bad about your decision.

I would end it. Its never good to carry around people who carry baggage and have the avoidant type of personality.

Nope, she's not worth keeping. You need a friend like that like you need a hole in the head.

Nope - don't keep her. She wanted you to know and then ran away so she doesn't have to deal with the fallout. Forgive her because it will allow YOU to move on, but don't keep the friendship. Life's too short for toxic relationships.

Jeez, everybody is so quick to dismiss her. I wonder what all the 'dump the friend' people would do if it were actually them in your shoes.

Your friend is obviously feeling the guilt. Part of her feels stubborn - you guys were broken up, and you're in a new relationship, so she wasn't in the wrong. But part of her knows that you guys had a tumultuous breakup and she knows that your feelings aren't totally resolved on the issue, so she feels bad about it.

I say let her contact you again when she's ready. Don't seek her out - obviously you are hurt, and you shouldn't be putting forth the effort here - but if she does gather up the courage to approach you, don't just shut her out. There's no way you can just resume the friendship like nothing has happened, but you can still feel it out and see if it's worthwhile to build back up again.

And really... isn't it about time you got over the ex already? It's not even about her actions now, it's about how much you want to live in the past regarding a guy you're not even involved with anymore. If you're mad about it because you still feel like he's off-limits because of your emotional attachment, you might want to invest in a reality check and start paying attention to what you've got right now.

I'm sorry but she doesn't answer your calls/messages for a month, then sends you a letter detailing her betrayal of you with your ex, and now she still won't answer your calls. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it sounds to me like you were the friend that was dumped and she has done something that, in most people's rulebooks (if she did it while you were still with your ex), would truly kill your friendship. Why are you still wasting your time on this girl???

good. leave tramps where they lie.

move on girl. . .

Um, she's your friend, and he's your ex. I'm going to depart from most of the advice here and tell you you need to suck it up. My best friend slept with my ex (after a non-amicable parting) and although I was initially pissed, I realized that he was no longer my property, and she's not under my control, and it wasn't really a big deal. It doesn't sound to me as though your new love is as great as you're saying; otherwise, you'd be over this in a hot second.
It also sounds like your friend knew how you'd react and wrote you off a while ago. Maybe someone threatened to tell you for her if she didn't spill, but whatever the reason, it doesn't sound like she cares to be told what she can and can't do in regards to someone you have no rights to. Also, just because she slept with him does not make her desperate--that's just your ego wishing it was the truth.
Bottom line, your reaction should be "who cares?" Since it's not, I would sincerely think about where you stand with your new boyfriend (um, hello, how unfair is this to him? You supposedly adore him and yet you're ridiculously upset about your ex having sex with someone, just because you know the someone?) and also, bottom line, how you treat people. A reaction like this screams "insecure and controlling" to me...and your "best" friend writing you off like that makes it seem as though she thinks that, too.

Good luck.

With friends like this who needs enemies..I know it sounds cliche..but its the truth. Dont waste your time and energy.

why on gods green earth would she confess and than disappear. Sounds like she felt so guilty that she UNLOADED it onto you and bolted.
Just cross that one off your christmas card for life, and stop trying to figure out why or why not.

Don't they say forgive and never forget? I agree that you should try to forgive her, for your own peace of mind. Given the fact that you already tried to contact her I say you are an awesome person and don't need a "friend" like that in your life. No one does.

If you have to pursue her to even talk about it, why bother? If she truly cared for you, she would be trying to contact you, apologize and make amends. If she's not even doing this, why bother with her? Think about it this way- do you want her to meet your new boyfriend? Would you trust her around any other men that you date? If not, don't waste your emotional energy on such a desperate skanky wh*re.

If she actually seemed sorry or that she regretted her actions then I would have given her the chance, but seeing as she's basically ignoring you and your feelings I don't see why you should make any more effort on her. She's already caused you enough pain, why let her in and do more when she obviously doesn't want to sort things out?

Make sure that you talk to you current boyfriend about what's going on and about your feelings, so that he doesn't misinterpret your anger or unhappiness for you actually wanting to get back with your ex too.