Dear E. Jean and DearSugar,

I’m 25, madly in love with my husband, and the mother of 2-year old twins. We’re a little stressed because we’re both working, live on a very limited budget, and have almost no time to even sit down to watch a movie together; so you’ll be surprised to hear that my husband finds the time to constantly ask me to give him oral sex. I mean constantly! Morning, noon, and night. Well, E. Jean, I don’t feel like it. I’m tired. I don’t have the energy, and anyway he never gives me even a back rub in return! Right now he is sitting at the kitchen table pouting! Can you believe it? — Pure and Simple

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Miss Pure, My Prune,

Phoo. Go tell the selfish rogue that unless he runs your bath ... slowly strips your clothes from your body ... and massages every inch of you until you roll on the floor in screaming, biting ecstasies, you will forget he even has a penis.

Indeed, you must fire up your energy level, take a deep breath, give the cad some solid eye contact, and tell him that from now on, every time he asks for a delicious favor, he must first give you a treat. Make that two treats.

Why two?

Things are so upside down, so crazily out of erotic balance, the battle of the sexes has reached such a new level of raving tumult, that women are now giving oral pleasure to men almost twice as often as they receive it. And for college-age women, the numbers are even more astoundingly lopsided. College woman give oral pleasure to young men nearly three times more often than they receive it.

These figures are keeping me up late trying to figure out why young women are doing this. I’m quoting from the preliminary results of the sex study I am conducting on Facebook. I would love to have you and all the DearSugar Wonder Women shed some light on this topic and be a part of the study. You may be quoted — anonymously — in my book about college sex.

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle Magazine and AskEJean.com.

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