If you don't want to do it, don't. If you aren't relaxed while having anal sex, its going to be worse for you...
But if you are coming around on the idea... all the advice I could give would be to RELAX completely... take it SLOWLY...and LUBE LUBE LUBE!

If you really don't want to do it, don't do it. He'll understand. It's not as though you're not adventurous... It sounds like you really just don't find this type of intercourse appealing.

Personally, I wouldn't do it. I find nothing appealing about it. But I have friends who do it and LOVE it.

Yes, definalty mkae sure you are relazed and that you have some lube handy.
Try just having normal sex for a little bit and then slopwly switching it up! As long as your relaxed and you guys take it slow you'll be fine!

Slow slow slow and lube lube lube.

You may find you really like it, and maybe you won't at all. You don't know until you try. I've never tried (and am working up the guts to try), but my best friend loves it.

And if you start and you don't like it just tell him to stop. But let him know BEFOREHAND that at any point you're allowed to call it off.

if anal doesn't turn you on at all on a mental level, you may not like it. i used to think it was a selfish thing for a man to do that to a woman but then I began to warm up to some anal sex porn and slowly it actually began to REALLY turn me on (i didnt watch it to please a guy...i was single at the time and i was just curious)

now, i don't find it horrible at all but its definitely a VERY different feeling..almost like being a virgin again haha...and just like any "virgin" moment, like everyone else said, take it slow, use LOTS of lube, and be communicative when it's happening...if you feel discomfort, speak up.

My boyfriend and I decided to give ourselves a month to work up to being comfortable with it, because I was kinda scared also. So, we invested in a few toys and gradually worked our way up to a point where it wouldn't be uncomfortable. It worked! Also, like they keep saying, make sure you're lubed up really good. That area is very tender. If you're not lubed up enough you could easily tear, and that wouldn't be good at ALL!

I agree with all the advice above. Make sure you are mentally, emotionally, and physically ready. Use lube!!

One thing just hasn't been mention yet: make sure you use different condoms when switching between anal and vaginal, or if not using condoms please wipe off his penis. You don't want fecal matter in your vagina (there is a reason we wipe from front to back!)

By 'we' I mean 'women'

if it happens....

do not make it the focus of the evening! i know some people will almost set up an analdate and go straight to that -- but that just makes you even more nervous. make sure you are comfortable with the IDEA first. to help calm you down, have a drink (don't be drunk though) and ORGASMFIRST. whether it's from vaginal or oral, ORGASMINGFIRST will not only help you relax but will also loosen up a lot more of your muscles, making anal entry A LOT EASIER. and it will also FEELBETTER. It doesn't hurt, but it just feels uncomfortable/odd; but it really should not be painful.

you don't need to use as much lube, if you orgasm first as well or if you lube him up well with your own saliva. i've actually only used lube with anal once and although entry was a bit faster/easier than without, it didn't really make much of a difference. it all depends on your own natural lube-abilities

also, for girls, being on top feels A LOT better than doggy style; but it doesn't feel as good for the guy; but you should still switch it up. oh and, since it is so tight, guys usually come pretty fast from it, so if you do feel uncomfortable, it shouldn't last for too long. then just let him come on your ass or something, guys usually like that

only last thing i want to add, you WILL feel weird the next day. and by weird i mean, well, "looser". it usually just lasts throughout the morning but could go the whole day. but then your body calms down and goes back to normal. that will stop after doing it a couple times.

My guy has wanted me to try it... I resist whole heartily... it doesn't seem pleasurable

You don't need to convince your husband that it won't work. Nothing in a healthy sexual realtionship should ever be described as "nerve wrenching." You don't want to do it and you're not comfortable with it, so don't do it. End of story.

okay, i guess i can't go into helpful details so i will summarize by saying this:

1. if you don't like the idea of it don't do it
2. don't make it the focal point of the evening
3. have a drink beforehand and orgasm via some other sex first
4. girl-on-top feels much better for the girl
5. lube isn't necessary if there is a lot of natural lube already
6. it should never hurt ever. it may feel weird, but it should not be painful.

Relaxation is definitely the key! As simple as it may sound:) And just like sex for the first time (or sex without lube for that matter!) it will hurt and be unpleasant. So instead of opting out for having your first *time* be with him, experiment with toys first. Seriously for the greatest of all times, purchase yourself the NJOY*Fun Wand. It's a bit on the pricier side but it is worth it and will really help to get you prepared. Find your favorite way to get in the mood (porn if you like, it will help distract) and just learn what you like on your own. If you do it with your husband there for the first time/times it will tend to make you a bit more tense, regardless of how close you may be! And then you can end up surprising him one night when you are used to the feeling and he'll be none the wiser:) Personally it always helps to be lying in bed on your back, propped up by pillows, favorite video on, lube of choice, and a clit vibrator...also helps with distracting. If you do it alone, then you are in control and can just enjoy, and you can end up having some of the most amazing orgasms.

It can be nerve wrenching, I know from personal experience b/c it had always been so extremely painful for me the like 2 times I ever tried, but after getting the toy and doing the steps above....ooooo the fun evolved!

So good luck and just again...relax and have fun, after all that's what sex with your loved one is supposed to be about!

i actually want to make it clear just how important orgasming first is, before trying anal. it makes a huge difference in how relaxed you are emotionally, how relaxed your muscles are physically and how much more enjoyable the entire experience is as a whole.

it should not be painful!! uncomfortable, yes. painful, no.

LUBE! TONS OF LUBE!
I only did it a couple of times, and it was painful, but the guy was quite well endowed. I think we didn't use enough lube, and he really wasn't experienced so he wasn't going slowly enough. You need to make it tender and sweet AND LUBE UP LIKE CRAZY. Use a condom for the comfort factor ("poop everywhere" is never a nice thought - even though it's never as dirty as we imagine it will be, but it will make you feel more comfortable).

When my current boyfriend "mentions" it, I'm pretty clear that 'NO WAY, NOT WITH THAT GINORMOUS THING". And even though I'm sure he really wants to try it at least once in his life, he understands that I'm not comfortable with it... and what's better? Me or trying anal? See my drift?

I tried this for the first time kinda young (I was still in high school) and I can tell you for sure to use the lube. I didn't and it was a very interesting experience. Just please make sure to use your head first and if you aren't ready, you aren't ready.

Don't do it until you want to...which may be never and that's just fine!

If you do decide to, as has been mentioned, use lube, definitely.

Another thing that I didn't read, but should be pointed out: Don't allow entry into the vagina after the anal has been done. This can cause UTIs and UTIs are no damn fun.

I think most men want to experiment with that. That doesnt mean that your wifely duties mean indulging his whims. If you dont want to, say no, like I did. I just have never wanted to go down that ..ehem..path.

Some risks that can happen with Anal Sex are the exposure to microorganisms in the fecal matter. Women can get urinary tract infections if the male doesnt properly clean his equipment after penetration.

If you're not secure, then don't. But if you do....

1) Make sure you go to the bathroom, i cant even imagine what being backed up would feel like.

2) Try the "Shocker". I bet that would help ease you into it, and by shocker I mean the way a guy holds his hands when he fingers you (ask your husband-he will know)

3) Like everyone else said, go slow.

4) I was like you, unsure if I wanted to with my bf, 4 shots of whiskey cleared that fear right up! Booze the fear away

I'm glad I checked this out, I never imagined doing it with girl on top. Good advice everyone! Hi5!

My boyfriend kept asking me constantly since we started dating for anal. Eventually I gave in because I was so sick of hearing about it. It was so painful and uncomfortable that I cried. He promised me he would never bother me about it again. The End.

I tried it once for the first time last weekend after offhand comments and stuff from him. We were both pretty drunk on tequila and I thought.. what the hell.
OMFG it was the most painful and uncomfortable experience of my life. I won't understand how anybody can get off on it because even with the alcohol it was terribly uncomfortable. I'm pretty small and it just didn't work.

After the scream of pain I let out and then the tears I don't think he'll be asking for it again. =P

Oh yeah.. lube.. but it's totally freaky if you go to the toilet and you're literally DRIPPING lube.. yuk.

Like everyone before me said...SLOW LUBE...and RELAX!!

Another thing, I don't remember where I read/hear this, but apparently when people become elderly, they have many issues with that area and anal sex only makes it worse.

Anal sex= UTI. No thanks. I've tried it and never will again, because unless your dude has a tiny pecker, it will hurt. Maybe let him do it once, with lots of lube, just to see if you like it. I dunno, but something about putting something in where the nastiest sh*t (pardon the pun!) comes out is frickin' disgusting. I really don't get it!

My boyfriend and I have anal sex, which I absolutely LOVE and hes like completely obsessed with it. Actually, I was surprised that I liked it so much and that it makes me have such intense orgasms. But it definitely is something that you have to work your way into. I agree with everyone above that you have to be completely relaxed and use lots and lots of lube. And make sure that your husband agrees to go slow and stop when you need him too. It also helps if he fingers you there first before putting his penis in.

Good luck and enjoy. It really is a lot of fun.

Oh, and thanks to those who posted about girl on top anal. I didn't even know that existed...how exactly does that work?

as far as girl-on-top anal goes....

well, we always start doggystyle, because it's just easier to go in; then he does his thing for a little bit to get it all started. Then he'll take out his penis and we'll switch positions so i'm on top (like normal on top). you just have to lean back a little bit and then use your hand to glide his penis in back there. then it's just like normal on-top sex.

it feels much good different though! to me at least. it's "just okay" to him. but on-top-anal is the only way i've been able to orgasm from anal. so after i finish, then we just switch to me on my belly or something ((that is his favorite for anal)). i definitely recommend trying this position! it is MUCH more comfortable than on all fours!

Ok, awesome. We will definitely have to try that out. Thanks for the advise!

I just have to point out that if you have to be drunk to do something, don't do it. In a healthy sexual relationship, you should never need to be drunk to participate in sexual activity. If you do, something is wrong because eventually you will sober up and if you didn't feel right about the activity before you drank, you're not going to feel right about the activity after it's over.

Lube is always necessary. There is no natural lubrication in your anus. That is why it's a riskier activity than vaginal penetration.

"Lube is always necessary."

there is a difference between artificial-store-bought lubes, and natural lubes. saliva and female wetness are the best lubricants out there, take advantage of them.

I have tried "natural lubrication" during anal, ouchie. It did not compare to the time artificial lube was used.

lintacious- the mouth and vagina constantly regenerate lubrication. Moving the saliva or "female wetness" to the anus is not a good approach because you would have to constantly reapply, as these "natural lubricants" evolved in an environment that constantly makes new lubrication. Additionally, if you depend on your mouth or vagina to provide lubrication, that seems like quick way to get infection because if you don't have enough lube the first time, do you wash your hands before you decide to use the mouth or vagina again? Probably not. Saliva and female wetness are not the best lubricants for this particular application.

dont do it untill he does something just as good for you. that hole is ment to be a one way system, which is OUT.

i wish i knew what men's obsession with this is... my boyfriend wants to do it. i will try to (why the hell not?) but the one time we really did give it a go i was not comfy at all... i think that you just need to be ready and start with other things like..well like fingering around it and just toying with it. but i do agree with some people when they say that hole is supposed to be an out hole--and also my pleasure areas are about a few inches the OTHER way. but hey.. im game to try new things

you could always ask him if you could stick a finger or vibrator in his anus.if he's comfortable with that then it could be a new and fun experience for both of you. anal sex works both ways...

I think that the reason why a lot of men are obsessed with anal sex is because of the feeling it creates. My boyfriend and I talk about it and he tells me that its the feeling of opening me up and getting deeper inside me that does it for him. He also says that he feels closer to me when we do it that way. That sounded strange to me, cause I was like how do you feel closer to me when my back is to you and you can't see me. But I think its the feeling of doing something thats considered taboo and the intimacy of feeling comfortable enough with each other to try something new...

guys like anal because IT IS TIGHTER...

i was actually told by my bf that deep throating feels better/tighter than anal - but is different because it can only be done for a coupld seconds at a time.

They like it because it's primal!

Can't they just settle for doggy style? I will hazard a guess that most of the ladies on here do not have huge flapping vaginas just yet. =P I don't see the difference!!

i think it's just that tighter is better in general. it doesn't mean that they think your vag is loose or anything

I do not understand why so many men like anal. I find it to be disgusting because of what comes out of there.

I agree with #41.

Ive done it a few times, It's not so bad. Just be lubed and relaxed.