Dear Sugar,
I have been dating my boyfriend for about six months already, and for those six months, he has basically been homeless. No, no like he's not a bum, but he lives with his single dad in their garage while their house is being constructed.
His dad has gone to great lengths to build the garage himself with bedrooms in the upper floor so they can get by until the house is complete. My problem is that I am over at my boyfriend's "house" a lot and there is only one bathroom, which is right in front of the living area and the rest of their living space. Normally I have no problem going to the bathroom there and running into his dad and random people that are over, but when we have sex, I simply just want to run to the bathroom in his T-shirt or a towel. Now I am either forced to get fully dressed and clean up, or hold it all in which I know is unhealthy. Sometimes I don't want to go through all the trouble to embarrass myself. What should I do? — I Gotta Go Gretta
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Dear I Gotta Go Gretta,
You're right, it is imperative to go to the bathroom after having sex in order to prevent UTIs so let's put our heads together and make this garage living work for you. First of all, do you and your boyfriend have to sleep at his house every night? Can you sleep at your place instead or at least alternate houses so you aren't with his dad all the time?
Since you're living in such close quarters, his father obviously knows you're sleeping there, so why do you feel the need to get completely redressed? Can you keep a bathrobe on the back of his door, or could you throw on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt so you're more covered up? All three of you are grown adults so try not to get too hung up on the embarrassment factor — just do your business and return to his room if you're still weirded out. Hopefully this construction won't take too much longer and you can have more personal space with your boyfriend. Good luck, and I hope this helps.
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Oh wow... I can only imagine how awkward you must feel you poor girl... When I was dating my ex, I had to go through something similar...except it wasn't his garage...His bedroom was in the basement and the bathroom hadnt been finished yet, so I was forced to use the one on the main floor...and it was right beside the living room, directly across from the chair his dad CONSTANTLY sat in... so weird and awkward... I just threw on some of his soccer shorts and one of his t-shirts and pretended I didnt see anything out of the ordinary... lol I found as long as I didn't act like there was something awkward going on, neither did his dad.
Good luck to you
1ummmmm...................i do not have any advice to add.....
2I think a housecoat is a good idea. I big fluffy one.
3I throw one on when we have unexpected guests and I am not presentable all the time!
i house coat is a wonderful idea! i love mine !i wear it all the time! to get ready in to just hang out it when i dont feel like gettin dressed!... its my second love!
4I like k8rckstr's idea of acting like there is nothing weird going on. I had a similar situation with a boyfriend who was living with his mother. The more you worry about it the bigger of an issue its going to be. Just relax and go do what you gotta do. Slap on a bathrobe, get it over with, and stop worrying so much.
5how hard is it to use tissues to handle what's going to need to be cleaned up immediately, then toss some clothes on and go to the bathroom?
6K8, you continually endear me to you.
7Why don't you just predominantly spend time in your house? What's so special about his garage that you have to get into silly conundrums?
Seriously, go home!
hahaha thanks
8I dunno...its sort of like "hear no evil, see no evil..."
Pretend nothings weird...just go about your business... his dad obviously knows you've just given his son a good shagging... no need to make it anymore weird for him by trying to act all sly haha...
I'm going to be staying in my boyfriend's parent's house. It's a whole house designed for two people. There is ONE bathroom. We are going to have to share this one bathroom for 3 days over Christmas.
AWKWARD!!
It's bad enough that it has TWO doors and one of them leads into their closet and the other directly into their bedroom!!
EEEEEEP!
I think you just don't act like anything is weird.. they know you're having sex so what's the point? =)
9yeah, just be normal, 'put on your house coat and just do your toilet biz, it doesnt have to be a fuss at all..
10The answer depends on who you are asking. If you ask your peers they have the opinion you want to hear, ask someone's mother and they will say you should be ashamed of yourself for even being there, shame shame get married.
11I don't see why she should feel "shame" for having sex with her boyfriend.
12Talk about complicated...
13I live with my boyfriend and his brother - I have to do the walk of shame to the bathroom that is right smack in the middle. I just throw on a cute robe and do my thing. If you can't sneak to the bathroom right away keep some baby wipes near by in his room/garage to help clean up until you can get to the bathroom....
14Have sex at your house.
15Waaay to much drama
16i love the "he isnt a bum" but he lives with his parent, over the garage. He might not be a bum, but he isnt a shining example of adulthood either.
That house is meant for two dudes, not two dudes and a girlfriend. tell your guy to get a life, get his own place, and pick out a nice bathroom
17Not all people have to live on their own to have a life or be an "adult." I've been living at home with my dad for years, and I'm moving out this summer, but if it's an arrangement that works, then why fight it? My dad and I get along great, and he doesn't cramp my independence.
I get frustrated when people pass judgments when they're given two sentences of information.
Anyway, I agree with the robe advice. My bf once lived in a dorm where the bathroom was down the hall... on an all-guys hall. I think I had 3 robes to keep there for those dashes.
18(P.S. Get a robe that's absorbent and easy to clean... just sayin.)
How about you don't get intimate at your bf's house if the bathroom thing is such a big deal to you?
19How is it not awkward to have sex in such a small place with his dad next door if it is awkward for you to walk by him to go to the bathroom in pajamas? Just put on a tshirt and boxers and walk to the bathroom!
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