Go ahead and marry for money. You can't be that into the non-rich guy if this is an open question for you.

Turn the sweet guy loose so us single gals can line up around the block for a shot with him.

When you marry for money you make a deal with the devil. If you are willing to accept the fact that he will likely cheat (or have a mistress) while you're off shopping then fine, go ahead. Or if you're ok with ceding power (because he pulls the purse strings will he decide what you can spend and what you can DO? Will he be a control freak?)

I have girlfriends who are in both those situations and they are both miserable. Neither thought their man would turn out that way, but they did. Their designer bags and homes are not consoling them.

I say marry for love. Does money REALLY make people happy? Yes it can buy you the things you have always wanted, but if you are not truly happy with yourself and with the person you are sharing your life with then how can you feel complete? I think money is fine, but I would think that a person would want to love someone so much and then love to share what they have with them as well. Toys are no fun if you have no one to play with! My parents got divorced as a teenager too...but I think it is silly to be pessimistic about marriage because YOU are NOT your parents! Good luck I hope you make the decision that is best for you!

Marry for money. And then hire a good-looking gardener.

Marry for Love. Money will not make you happy in the long run.

the fact that this is even a serious question makes me wonder about this "love" relationship you're currently in...

Is this question for real? Sounds like it came out of a soap opera!

Marry the rich guy, and when you guys get a divorce,(because you will), send him my way.

I say marry for money, not because I believe in money over love,but because you don't deserve the guy you are supposedly in love with

looseseal had the perfect answer.

Money money money! marry the guy with money,

^^ i dont know what happened?
I typed a whole paragraph, w/e im not gonna type again

If this is a question for you, you are absolutely not in love. Just don't get married, but if you do, leave the guy you're with and marry the billionaire. Make sure, though, that you don't get screwed with a pre-nup, because once you find out what falling in love really is you are going to be blown away...and need to get out of your loveless marriage. Good luck!

"I am not currently in love with him ,but i feel that over time i truly think i could".

Yeah, good luck with that....

I always thought I would marry for money. My parents have always struggled financially and it's caused a loving couple to argue relentlessly. So, my solution would be if the lack of money can make you miserable with someone you supposedly love then why not just marry someone you find likeable and marry for money?

My opinion on this has changed. I'm in love with a struggling new business owner. He's broke. He is the guy who has no money in the bank, eating peanut butter and crackers broke. But he's brilliant, I know he'll make it out of this initial start-up stage and be successful. We're past the honeymooner stage and let me tell you, it's not easy. After the initial shock that things won't always be perfect and I'm not a princess wore off...I started to look at him and see who he really is. I see his flaws and I see the things that have and will drive me nuts. He's always messy, usually late and forgetful is a mild word but he is forgetful. But with all the not so perfect things there are some really close to perfect things mixed in. Like he calls our cuddle time "huggles" (hugs + cuddles)...even in front of his friends. I get eskimo kisses daily and with enthusiasm. Butterfly kisses too. The long goodbyes when I'm leaving his house to get into my car are a little shorter but it's because we know there will be the same goodbye tomorrow and the sooner I leave the sooner I'll come back. He gave me my birthday gift through a scavenger hunt because he knows I like getting clues as much as I love opening my present in the end. He lets me pout when I need to and knows I'm sometimes needy (okay most of the time). He knows I over-think things to death and it's impossible for me to just relax sometimes.
So yeah, I'd rather have all of that than a billion dollars. I've heard love and passion fade too, but isn't that when a deeper bond sets in and you become family?

I think I hear feminism crying.

Sure, go marry for money. Say hello to his assortment of mistresses for me~

when you marry for the money, you end up earning every single dollar.

it's not going to be easy, it's not going to be fun, and at some point, you're going to realize that when you were a little girl you didn't really think of yourself as a gold-digger, but that's what you are.

but I agree with some of the above noters. turn that nice, honest guy loose before he gets corrupted by your ambivalent behavior so some other deserving gal can have him.

Wow, if I had a dollar for every time someone divorced has told me to marry for money...I wouldn't need to marry for money! Although people take this question lightly I bet a lot of people who did marry for love who's family is struggling and can't pay the bills is wondering why the hell they didn't marry for money. Money is one of the biggest reasons for divorce if not THE biggest reason for divorce. People get married for much worse reasons like I'm turning 30, all my friends are married, I wanna plan a big wedding. At the end of the day it depends what type of person you are.

Do you think that money, a huge mansion, any car you want, being able to afford lavish vacations, never having to work another day in your life, and afford anything you want will make you happy? If that answer is yes then go for it. People may act like you have no morals and like they've never heard of such nonsense but just take a look at hollywood they do this EVERY DAY!!! Come on have you seen Selma and that old fart billionaire she's marrying? The list is too long to go through but the reality is that some people would prefer to have a financially secure future for themselves, their children, and future generations. Will this "deal" guarantee you happiness? No. I don't think the nice guy in your life is even a factor because clearly you don't love him. So either continue to search for the love of your life or marry the old fart. I personally would only marry for love!

honestly, money is more of a gamble.

Here is some advice I gave a few months back...

Why do you have to marry at all? You said you're not that into it.

go for the money honey!! but seriously- you two are already great friends. In the end thats what marriage is a really great friendship

Earthly love dwindles, but divine love endures. One way is to look to our parents. Do parents love children because they are smart and have good prospects in bringing in the dough? Now, if we treat our partner and love him unconditionally, it will endure. Even if you eventually fall in love with the second guy, do you think it will endure or will it fall short because the love is born out of self-gratification?

That's just me. Someone you marry would be one you don't mind waking up with even if all his hair falls out, he comes senile and you both have to sell burgers on the streets together for a living. Someone you don't mind even if he contracts Alzheimer disease and forgets your name. Or if he suddenly gets cancer. Because true love endures.

Well....what would you rather be- happy in love, or rich and miserable?

i agree with indigo4320's point of view entirely...

i see marriage as not just getting a husband and a partner in a financial sense but also as extending family indefinitely. even if you are skeptical of marriage, i hope you are not skeptical of family. if you marry someone for money, that's the same as your mom telling you she had you as a daughter for your earning potential. it doesn't make sense, right?

this is going to be the father of your kids (assuming you want kids), the grandfather to your grandkids (assuming you want grandkids) and your lifelong companion when you get old, weary, and grey. sure, security is great, and i know he's not a horrible guy but people rarely discuss EMOTIONAL SECURITY. do the smart thing and marry for love.

Also, I want to point out that when people divorce, it could be money, but money might just be a scapegoat. It might be their inability to see things beyond their desire for money. So don't let money get in the way. Don't give yourself a scapegoat, something to blame if the relationship fizzles.Nothing is easy in life. Relationships need hard work to maintain.

if you have to ask who you should marry, you shouldn't be marrying either of them. i also don't understand how you can say you love the guy who doesn't have money but then consider marrying the guy with money.

wow. are you serious? please let this nice guy that you "love" go. Send him to a girl that deserves a man like that, you DONT. Girls like you give women a bad name, why is money so important to some girls? Im with a guy that doesnt make alot of money, probably never will, we know that, its ok, cause hes doing something he loves, and we can eat, so whats the big hoopla with having a huge house and nice cars? Money doesnt make you happy... its the root of all evil, helllooooo? ever heard that phrase? As long as the man you are truely in love with cares for you and respects you, why would you let money get in the way?
For you, id say go with grandpa (20+ yrs older than you?!?!?)... You deserve a man thats going to hold that money over your head, sleep with hookers(STDS?) and treat you like a possesion, which you technically will be.. hes BUYING you ....
Man, i feel stupid having to write this stuff, its like, are you F-ing serious?!?!?

Fluffyhelen, you get the quote-of-the-day award!

"I think I hear feminism crying."

So true!

This woman has some issues if she thinks she can buy happiness, that's all i have to say. Everyone else is doing a pretty good job of eviscerating her so i'll just stop here.

I come from divorced parents and I hate the excuse that you did not have a good example. God, grow up and if you know you have issues go fix them. As for what you should do you have to live with yourself and if you can handle being the trophy wife, him not being home then I say go for it. One thing I would do is let the other guy go it really isn't fair to him that you are debating a different life that does not include him.

word! what hotstuff said.

Something similar happened to me... I chose love. I think it was the better choice. Now I am trying to figure out how to have both... when you know what its like to not stress about money... you want that back.

CHOSE LOVE AND MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY!

Let me just tell you, that all the money in the world won't make a difference at the end of the day. Lying in the dark, trying to hide your tears because you feel like a prostitute, you're going to wish you had chosen love over money...

I'm kinda saddened by everyone above me, because they think this letter is a symptom of an *actual problem*.

And even if it is, she doesn't actually want your guys' answers; she's just fooling around with all the possible options available to her with her 'billionaire friend who wants to marry her' AND someone who is 'adorable, so romantic, sweet, caring, and has a good job/career'. She knows what she's going to do; she just wants to show off.

So marry who you want, but die in a fire.

love... yea we all want money... thats how the world works.. but really.. i think i would rather have someone who really loves me and will do whatever they can to take care of me.. emotionally.. then i will be a happy girL!

Love...it goes a long way!
BUT
If you have to ask this question then maybe you don't love him at all because you are inlove with the idea that he is perfect!
You have to think about it.

Wow

My advice, go ahead and marry for money, because if there is a nice guy out there who wants to marry you than please release him, so that in the future he can find someone who isn’t morally bankrupt.

The old saying goes: The first marriage is for love, the second marriage is for money.

I don't think you should marry either of these men. If you really loved either of them, you wouldn't be considering the other as a potential husband.

I agree, you shouldn't marry either one. if you really loved the sweet guy, you wouldn't be looking elsewhere. Poor "sweet guy." He probably has no idea that you're a golddigger.

And not to be harsh, but in my opinion, marrying for money makes you no more than a prostitute.

It's not like you can't go make money yourself. You can't expect your husband to give you everything you want.

If you can stand it, marry for money...I hate being broke. But I love being broke with someone I love. I just couldn't imagine rolling over in bed every morning and looking at someone over and over that I didn't love. It would make my skin crawl to have him touch me.

That's just me though. If you can deal with it, go ahead. I think anyone that marries just for money is pretty heartless so I'm sure it wouldn't really bother you.

BUT if I'm wrong and you aren't heartless(which I hope is the situation) you will always wonder if you made the wrong choice if you choose money. Good luck either way!

I like what aujah said: Make your own money!

He is a very nice guy and even though I am not currently in love with him,I feel that over time, I truly think I could.

Sure, dear. Keep on telling yourself that. There is a problem when we start to lie to ourselves. You want to martyr yourself for money, fine, if that's what you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, by all means. You obviously don't believe that you deserve to be loved so why should anyone worth a damn waste his time?

Love doesn't pay bills!

Looseseal! Totally agree.

Marry for money. Leave the good man for a woman who appreciates what he has to offer.

I don't think you really love your current boyfriend if this is even an option for you. I hate to say it, but anyone who's ever really been in love would not choose money over love. Leave both of them behind and fall in love for real. (and hopefully by that time you will deserve the love you get in return.)

I have a friend who is with a man because of money. Blah. I'm no longer her friend now because after a while, people like that value money over real and meaningful relationships and it also applies to friends. i.e. It's always about which girl has the newest Moncler jacket or the biggest/priciest gifts from their bfs.

ha @ infernalmari.

Is this an actual post, or is this just made up? :/

I think this is a fairly tough choice. With the money, she's set for life. On the other hand, she's got a great 'normal' guy who she (I'm assuming) loves. It'll be a gamble either way, and saying that marrying for love will give you a stable relationship is kinda false. We live in a world of a near 50% divorce rate, and for many couples, love alone doesn't last. I'm pretty temped to say go for the rich guy who you're friends with. Shallow, I know, but who here honestly wouldn't have a tough time with this question?