Have you ever walked down the street and wondered why she was with him? That's the first thing I thought when I saw Cate Blanchett and Andrew Upton. Sometimes couples seem to be mismatched, even celebrity couples. Of course, when you don't know their personalities, it's hard to decipher what it is that makes the individuals attracted to one another, but let me ask you this: Have you ever dated a guy that people thought wasn't attractive enough for you?
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Dear Poll: Have You Dated Down?
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I def. don't go by looks alone and HAVE indeed dating someone not so attractive. Unfortunately his personality and charm turned out to be not so attractive either!
1So, the whole "if they're sexy their assholes, if they're ugly they're nice" saying - is FAR very far from the truth. I currently am in LOVEEEEEEEE, with an amazing AND attractive man. Yup, you can have both!
I've never "dated down" but I like to think that if I met someone I really liked, I'd date him regardless of appearance.
I had a huge crush on a boy in high school who was shorter than me (and I'm 5'4"!) and it just didn't matter because we got along so well. We never really dated, but once we made out in the back of his car!
2wow, You know i saw that picture of Cate and her husband yesterday and I instantly thought about how happy they seemed, not about his looks.
To Me "dating down" isnt about looks, its about personality, and i usually wonder "why is she/he" with some person not because of looks, but because the other person is a A$$hat. That is dating down.
3I have!
4I like guys because of how they act/their personality/their charm/how much of a gentleman they are.
I mean, you should see a few of my exes! One of them looks like Grizzly Adams now, but we are still friends
A guys personality attracts me more, definitely!
5I have too!!! Looks are nice, but if that's all that's there there, then how can you say your really into the guy? From, personal experience, I've jerks in all colors, shapes, and sizes, some hot - some not. And I've dated great guys in all colors, shapes, and sizes, some hot - some not. At the end of the day it's about whether or not as a couple you bring out the best in each other, if your not then you should move-on. - But, that's just my humble opinion as a single 32yr-old so feel free to just take it with a grain of salt
6I think it would be very pompus of me to think that I was better looking than anyone, or that someone was 'below' me.
7I agree, Citizenkane. I don't like this term, it gives the impression that one is superior over another.
8i dont know.... what is dating down? my bf is 4" shorter than me. is that dating down?? hahahahahahahahahaha
9*pompous* sorry
10I definetly agree with citizenkane. Everyone has different standards in terms of appearance. Each of my boyfriends were different according to appearance, but all of them were handsome in my eyes.
11All my ex-girlfriends date/dated down
12Yeah, I think it's a tendency for women to date down. I've dated people who I found attractive but others did not. I'm not a fan of super-hot guys-- they are usually arrogant and accustomed to getting anybody they want.
13if someone told me that my date was to ugly for me i would be shocked. do people really say things like that? this hasn't happened to me, thankfully. you can't see presonality across a room, but looks are only so-so important.
14Quite a bit as it happens. First of all I think women are much more able to look past the physical appearance issue when it comes to dating. Secondly I always find myself kind of put off by conventionally handsome men, I don't find the QC looking kind of guy the least bit compelling. I find myself very attracted to quirky or odd looking men. They usually have the greatest personalities and skills because they have to if they want to get anywhere with women, where a ken doll has never had to evolve to get women.
15I don't know if I've dated down or not. My friends and family are far too polite to say anything about my looks compared to my boyfriend's!
I also agree w/ citizenkane.
Anyway, we all lose our looks over time. I'd much rather be able to talk and laugh with my BF than drool over how hot he is.
16Well, I condone "dating down" for a simple reason: women become uglier as they get older, while us men get more and more handsome, So there'll be a point at which your guy will look as good as you and as time goes by, he'll even become "hot"
17Hmmm....most guys I have dated are hot to me. However, most of my serious boyfriends have been guys I was not intially attracted to but their personalities won me over until they were, to me, extremely attractive. So down, I do not know. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
18women become ugly as they get older? never has a statement been more untrue.
19Careful, Esix. Your last comment is a good way to make enemies.
20Hey Esix I get better every year! My mom is 57 and is a Fine, Fine looking lady. Judging by the way my father-in-law has aged I am not going to get a "hot" older guy.
21In like, 6th grade. we were only a couple at school, and i said yes to be nice. it doesn't count though since I didn't know better, now, it doesn't matter to me...however the boys i have dated have all just happened to be attractive. I bet though, that people wonder why my boyf is with me.
22Hahaha
Well, I was obviously joking (duh) but this sounds quite interesting. So you really think women get prettier after 25? Come on, that's just denial, I almost don't know a single woman who doesn't start complaining about her first wrinkles, cellulite, weight gain and what not between her 25 and 30.
By the way, for the ones with a stick up their butt: Yes, older women can be classy and age nicely too.
23Yes. Until my last relationship, I thought that super attractive guys are full of themselves and that I should date more average to homely looking dudes if I wanted a real relationship. But now, I know that all guys are pretty much assholes, so it really doesn't matter.
24I know it's cynical, but I haven't found a guy yet who's been able to prove me wrong.
i think it's interesting that so many girls actually say they "date down". i don't have a problem with dating someone unattractive, but i have a hard time telling if the guy is since i'm completely biased. i used to get lectures from my older sister about how i could "do better", but to me nobody i was even friends with was unattractive. my opinion of someone's physical appearance is SO subjectively based on their personality. i know it sounds ideal and untrue, but i can't really explain it.
i've always thought my fiance was a nice looking boy, but i was never attracted to him. it took almost 2 years until we even dated, and now he's the hottest guy i know!! (hint: he didn't change physically all that much...)
25I voted other because the post asked, "Have you Dated Down?" and I thought it was offensive. Something along the lines of if you are hot then you have more worth than someone who is just normal - it just doesn't sit right with me.
26Well nikkeeb, I already said guys get hotter as time goes by
No seriously, you're absolutely spot on. A gorgeous person (male or female) can look like crap 5 min after he opened his mouth. And a not so hot person can start looking awesome once you get to know them. And the funny thing is, not only the inside, but also the outside seems to get better in those cases.
27The outside is fun for like 5 min, but if there's nothing to back it up it fades reaaaally quickly.
Dating isn't about looks. Looking is about looks.
I'm much more likely to refer to my brief relationship with a very good-looking A-hole as "dating down" than a wonderful relationship with a guy that relatively didn't look as good.
28Except for my fiance (who is gorgeous), the nicest guy I ever dated was also the most unattractive. So hell yeah! I've dated down!
29Yes I have dated down. Even though I'm may not be attracted at first, eventually their personality and charm wins me over. But I did get tired of the comments ("Why HIM?") I think I have this fear deep down inside that if I date a pretty boy, he will just end up breaking my heart. At least with less attractive guys, you know they will be devoted, right?
30I have dated down a LOT. My best advice is don't do it. Whether it's looks, personality, ambition, or just plain kindness, if you feel you're dating down, then you are. Things about a person you don't like get worse over time. If he drives you nuts the first month, run for your life.
31I don't date for looks.
32If the guy I date just happens to be gorgeous, then that's just a sweet bonus to the great personality he happens to have that made me want to date him in the first place. Along with that he must be fun to be with and an-out-of-this-world sex appeal, too! Doy!!
33never have and never will date based on looks
34I am happy being single so when I do want to date someone it is after I have gotten to know them,
their heart and mind is my only interests
and they span off into interests etc
The only guy I ever dated that was "good looking" turned out to be more shallow and concerned about his looks than I was. It took him longer to get ready to go out than it took me, and he was always asking, "How's my hair?". Most of the men I have dated (and married) were not conventionally good-looking, but have always had some attractive attributes (blue eyes, full lips, etc.) that I concentrate on.
That being said, I think my husband's hot!
35Something about this question disturbs me.
36I have and I totally regret it. I was drunk when I met him, and was drunk most weekends of our 2 month relationship. I think it explains alot. I was young, stupid and thought that looks didn't matter to me. But that relationship taught me alot. I realised that looks matter, to an extent, that I don't like guys who play dungeons and dragons, and I don't like guys who wear corduroys.
I'm not afraid to say that if the looks aren't there, I'm not interested. Looks are what first catch you and if you aren't attracted to the person, physically, the relationship won't go far. I also want to add, looks are subjective.
37no i don't know what is dating down but i don't think i am better looking than my ex boyfriends! wow if i though like that i would be very arrogant
38If you close the door on everyone because you don't think they are good looking enough for you, you may eventually run out of doors. Looks can improve or deteriorate after you get to know someone's personality...
39This is a really stupid poll. I mean, if you answer that you do "date down" because someone isn't as incredibly hot as you are and has a good personality, are you really dating down? That doesn't even make sense.
What I would assume you mean by "dating down" is dating a guy you aren't attracted to with an awful personality, so no, I guess I don't date down in that sense of the term.
40I don't think you should date for looks. Obviously you have to be attracted to the person physically, but I much prefer guys becoming more attractive once you get to know them. Personality is the most important, because honestly, it is what makes people attractive. You can be a really good looking guy, but that can only take that so far i.e. one date haha
One of my friends told me that the last guy I dated was "dating down" (of course after we broke up!) but I really didn't let it bother me, since I was attracted to him, so it doesn't really matter what other people think. But if you are taking people's opinions to heart and letting it affect how you feel about a guy I'd consider whether or not you actually liked the guy in the first place. If you truly like someone it doesn't matter what other people think. I think the term "dating down" is pretty harsh though.
41I think that once you get to know someone, they often become more attractive to you. If you find them funny or quirky or intelligent,you may find some physical feature about them that you love that makes them attractive in your eyes.
42I voted other. I date who I date for various reasons, looks not usually being one of them.. I'm not going to lie and say I've never noticed someone because of their looks. There has also been a time or two when I've dated someone I found attractive only to look at him weeks later and wonder what the hell i was thinking. Let's face it: not wanting to date someone who looks like he's guaranteed to give you VD does NOT make you shallow!
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