Making fun of anyone is just a horrible character flaw. Most people hate being around people like that. I'm not sure why you were like "Wow, how endearing he insults people and makes it funny!" because I would have been like "Wow, this guy seems really insecure if he has to find negative things and point them out all of the time," He is right though. You knew he was like that at the beginning of the relationship. If he is making you feel that bad about yourself to the point where you cry I would really reevaluate the relationship. It makes me wonder how far he goes with these "jokes" because we don't know the whole story.

My advice to you is to not be the type of person that has to find flaws just so you can make fun of people. It's kind of mean and it shows that you can't find positives about anything.

Seems like a 1 trick guy to me. Being cocky and teasing is fun if you just meet, but the dude needs to know when to stop. If "teasing" is the only way he can be humorous, you just need to lay down the law on him.

You knew what he was like when you started dating him did you really think it would stop? Sorry most people don't so you need to try to have another conversation with him but I wouldn't expect his behavior to change. The question than becomes can you continue the relationship and that is something only you can answer.

Well, obviously you can't help/ignore how you feel about it.
I agree with sugar, just ask him if he can tone it down a bit, because it's making you feel bad about yourself.

I think you're being a big fat baby.

Why would you expect him to stop a behavior he's always had since you've known him?

I think joking can sometimes go too far, and you should let him know when he has - but other than that, thats about all you can do.

If you cant handle the heat....well, you know what they say

Alisha, the problem is we wouldn't know how far he takes the jokes. He might insult her appearance and traits and try to pass it off as jokes. So I wouldn't say she's being a baby. It's sad though that people can't realize the way people are in the beginning of the relationship is how they will ALWAYS be.

I've been told that the person you are dating should make you feel like the best version of yourself when you are with him. If he doesn't make you feel that way, you should to re-evaluate the relationship and see if his immaturity will work for you.

I agree with lesassabielle, I don't think she is being a baby, but you can't change men!!!

You're entitled to feel the way you feel.

Reading your post made me think: you must be talking about my hubby. And yes, he still teases me until this day from time to time, and I sometimes get angry at him, depending if I'm in the mood for the teasing or not. When I'm in an okay mood, I'd give it right back GOOD.

You need to call him out on that and don't cry about it.
I actually openly said to my hubby that he might be a passive aggressive guy looking at how he teased people then turned around and said it's a joke.
And he got all 'pout-y' when I said that, so I told him better watch his mouth if he doesn't want me to go into analyzing him more. We're still together, so sometimes he 'slipped' and teased me kind of mean, and I'd just bite his head off basically but without us getting into an argument, and just leave it at that.

But thankfully, he doesn't do it that often though, so it's kind of not such a big deal for us. I think he's behaving himself a bit better too now.

Have a good talk to him as soon as you can. Don't be afraid to say that you get sensitive at some of his remarks or if you're like me, just do a good payback and call him out on his not so nice behavior.

Good luck to you.

I think there are a lot of qualities in people we really like that aren't necessarily ideal for us when we're having a relationship with them. I had the identical situation with a guy I dated. He was SO funny and I loved it, but became sensitive to it after awhile, also. I remember saying to him 'Not EVERYTHING is a joke' and he replied that he didn't think so either, but he dealt with everything with humor; that it was his way of coping.

We didn't make it because of that difference between us. He was who he was, I was who I was. Nothing wrong with either way of doing things; we just didn't mesh for the long haul.

I also dated a guy who made fun of people in a joking manner. In the beginning, just like you, I thought this was all in good fun. The longer we dated (2.5 yrs in all), I realized that this guy is just a jerk. He eventually turned that critical eye toward me and made me feel like I just wasn't as fun as I used to be. Really, the jokes just get OLD and what started as observational humor becomes annoying, not funny and mean. Yuck. Get out.

he's probably insecure, you know? How about you breakup with him, see how funny he finds that one? At some point you have to grow up, and if you cant even have a conversation with someone....

It's okay once in a while but when it's reached the point where you can't even uphold a good conversation anymore, then no. Don't feel bad honey, I'd be annoyed too. Talk to him, put it out there. Good luck.

Muppets, I dated a guy just like that! At first it was small jokes about people but after awhile he became so passive aggressive and basically used his "jokes" as ways to say mean things to me. It drove me insane and I can't believe I put up with it.

Are you dating my boyfriend?

I had the same problem. After a year of dating, I suddenly started to feel really sensitive about his jokes. So I had a nice talk with him, where he acted really defensive and told me that was just his personality and why would I suddenly take offense to something I had always accepted and laughed at? Well, it just starts taking its toll, after a while, I explained; and we came up with a couple of nice compromises. I'd understand that he never means anything nasty by the jokes, and I'd feel free to strike back; but he would watch what kind of things he jokes about, and especially, he would NEVER SAY A MEAN WORD THE WEEK BEFORE MY PERIOD.

It feels like training, and it is, a little bit; but it's nice to be able to go up to them with the idea that we'll BOTH make the effort.

Don't worry, too; if he's the same kind of guy than my BF, he really doesn't mean it. He loves you, and he's just playing.

Good luck!

When you say "it hurts my feelings when you do/say XYZ"
and they say "don't be so sensitive"
that person is a straight-up ass.

Why would you want to be with someone who can't respect that fact that they are doing something that offends you? And why do you allow that person to minimize your feelings?

If your best friend said to you, "girl, when you tease me about my weight/acne/peg-leg/whatever, it hurts me, so please stop" you'd watch your words, wouldn't you (I hope you would). SO why do you expect less from the guy who claims to love you?

And to all you ladies contently involved with jerks like this... jeez.. that just makes me sad. This isn't about training or that 'he really doesn't mean it'... it's about they kind of person who has nothing else interesting to say, so they say something mean and negative to feel included or to empowered. It's about insecure assholes. How you are you going to explain this kind of behavior to your children... "daddy didn't mean to call you fat/ugly/stupid... he's just playing."

::shakes head::

I think you might be less sensitive to his teasing if he was able to leave it out when you're trying to have a serious conversation. It's extremely irritating to attempt to have a discussion with someone about something important to you and have them making jokes the whole time. Try approaching it that way--tell him you normally love his teasing, and you think he's adorable, but could he possibly knock it the heck off when you're talking about something serious? Explain briefly that it frustrates you because you feel like you're not being taken seriously. If he can't do that, then I say kick him to the curb. If he's not emotionally mature enough to be able to realize that humor is not the appropriate response to every situation, especially teasing humor, then he's stunted in ways you cannot possibly imagine.
My bf and I joke and tease, but we also know when to put it away. When we're discussing serious things, when we're being intimate, when we're being dopey-romantic....those are just not times for teasing!

He's not respecting your feelings. Either he's just totally insensitive or his joking is masking some sort of inability to communicate on a deeper level. You need to flat out tell him it is not OK. The problem here isn't that you can't take a joke, its that he can't alter his behavior even though it is hurting you.

There's a line between being who you are and being disrespectful. You can be a humorous person, and even pick on your S.O., without being disrespectful to them. If he was physically abusive, or an alcoholic, or a compulsive liar, or a chronic cheater, would you let him use the "It's just the way I am; you can't ask me to change now," excuse? Probably not. You would either drag his ass to therapy/rehab/Dr. Phil, or you would leave him. It's the same now. You need to either have a serious discussion about when it's appropriate for him to use his rapier wit (i.e., stay away from fat jokes, because you're sensitive about your weight, don't mock in front of your friends, jokes about your intelligence are okay, because you're secure about your intellect, etc.), or you need to let him know just how serious this is, and leave. Any guy who's unwilling to compromise, to alter his behavior even a wee little bit to make you feel more comfortable and secure, isn't worthy of you.

Any significant other should be loving you and encouraging you to be the best version of yourself. This means not trying to change who you are. Perhaps he really loves you for you but his teasing could be coming off in a negative way. I suggest talking to him and telling him to tone it down, but I do understand the issue because you also don't want him to feel like he has to stop being himself. I think if you can accept him for being himself to a certain degree and he really shows that he loves you, try and work through this, maybe you guys can come to a middle ground out of your care towards each other. Good luck:)