If a woman can't get off during sex, she can ask her boyfriend to finger her or give her oral after he orgasms. However, a woman should also know what turns her on and what gets her off so she can pass on the news to her significant other. I'm sure most guys are more than willing to do what his girlfriend likes in order to give her an orgasm.

I don't stop until I'm "finished" unless I'm really, really tired or my mind is somewhere else.

It's more than fair.You can have multiple ones

i dont NEED one. but if i could get off during sex, obviously i would muchhhhhhhh prefer it. it would be nice to get the satisfaction he does.

Who says women orgasm only occassionally! I have more than my partner and its always been that way.

Eh... even if I don't finish, I still have a good time.

I agree with OMILAWD most women know what it take. . . . However recently I started seeing someone and he doesn't sleep with people casually (neither do I really . .) and he hasn't been with a girl in almost a year and a half and so for the first 1/2 dozen times we slept together it was WAY over before I even started to warm up. . . . . It was worth the wait though because now we are perfectly matched in bed.

Occasional orgasms? Balderdash! (I always wanted to use that )

I always have an orgasm. It may not be through intercourse, but I will have one each time through some other means. The only time I was unable to orgasm was due to taking some muscle relaxers for a week. I couldn't no matter what we tried. It was the most unsatisfying, uncomfortable (think blue balls for women) experience ever.

I can usually orgasm, unless I'm really tired or sometimes it just doesn't work. I'm lucky, I have a guy who helps make sure I finish.

I'm with Random.

I have more than one every time and if I wasn't having that I wouldn't be very happy.

im with random and lizzard214.my guy makes sure i orgasm before he does.

I think one of my biggest fears is that I will never have one (don't judge me lol). I heard it is possible, for some reason, to medically never achieve an orgasm. Mind you, I don't know if that is rumor or fact. It freaks me out!

Sorry to post again so soon, but I meant to inlcude in my initial post if anyone knows whether or not it is medically possible for some woman to never achieve one.

SO unfair... I've only orgasmed once with my guy... well I mean an earth shattering...makes your leg shake every time orgasm.. Guys have it so easy... What ever I do to him makes him orgasm.... I can't say the same for what he does for me.... OH Well..... Maybe we just need more practice.

I always make sure I get off before my man gets his. Thats what foreplay is all about.

orgasm every time! women own your orgasms

also the fact that women can have multiples and then some massive orgasm is fantastic - the issue i have with the vibrator is, for christs sake men don't want you masturbating that's what we are for

I am eternally thankful to my boyfriend's stepdad for imparting these valuable words of advice to him when he was 16!

1. A woman's breasts are not half as exciting for her as they are for you.
2. Always go down on a woman before sex, this way she is CERTAIN to have had an orgasm. Don't stop foreplay until she does, don't go in her until she has.
3. Lube, lube, lube.

=)

So I always have an orgasm before he's even gotten near me.. fair's fair!!

Ugh, the worst is when you're with a guy who is doing everything he can for you but you get stuck on that plateau edge to the point of no return and you just can't get yourself to climax... and then you look at the clock and you think "Hm... if I fake it NOW I'll still get 7 hours of sleep..." Talk about a rock and a hard place (no puns intended!).

I think there was a statistic that at least 70% of women don't reach orgasm by penetrative sex alone and that giving her head until she reached orgasm and THEN having penetrative sex was the best way to satisfy both partners.

Breaking a vibrators not really helpful if you're not going to deal with why she needs one in the first place. Unless he gave her his skin mags and tapes to burn right afterwards.

I'm questioning the 'only occasionally' thing here, too. But whatever goes on between two consenting adults is fine with me.

Who the hell said it was okay that a woman doesn't orgasm every time?

Seriouly, what's the point of having sex (unless your're trying to get pregnant) if you're not going to have an orgasm?

I know it's "hit or miss" when it comes to having an orgasm from sex... But if I know before hand I am not going to have one (I can usually tell by whether or not I am even in the mood), then I will not have sex.

The Husband can go whack off instead.

Now that I re-read the question of this post it's a bit of weird phrasing because it's assuming sex generally omits enough foreplay for the woman to warm up and that the sex is all about allowing the guy to climax first and leave her out in the cold. So from that perspective it's not fair but...

In reality if you're comparing quality of orgasms side by side - it is fair because women are capable of multiple orgasms and extended orgasms, whereas guys just get one and then have to have a respite. Once women get there they can just keep going if the situation is right.

So the question seems to set up a few assumptions and that's what I'd say is unfair. It's also unfair that men don't try more to let women climax first before they have their orgasm. Worse, what's more unfair is the ridiculously socially ubiquitous belief that penetrative sex equals female orgasm is THE normative assumption. You only have to look at every statistic and test result on female orgasms to know that penetrative sex alone rarely cuts it and it's not because the guy isn't doing it right it's just because women generally need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.

I think the episode with the vibrator proved how pervasive this idea is and that it's probably due to men feeling somehow threatened they their penis alone can't do it all. Sometimes I just wish they'd forget their egos for a moment and just do what works. Nobody think they're crap at sex if they stimulate their partner more, in fact, quite the opposite.

I've never had an orgasm during sex, but my husband goes down on my every single time afterwards, so we're both left feeling satisfied.

I don't think I'd want my boyfriend to go down on me afterwards. I'd already be numb from the sex?
Also - I'm not capable of multiple orgasms! I wish I was. =(

Sometimes I just can't orgasm... and I'm okay with that.
I find that it takes me hours to relax and unwind enough so that I can get to that point. So I'm not one to keep score.

Everyone makes it sound like a race! My husband I have sex for more than one reason, and it's not always just to "get off". Just the feeling of being intimatly close to each other at the end of the day is wonderful. Sometimes I just want to make him feel good, sometimes it's vise versa. No sex without orgasm seems very selfish to me.

Not to mention, some of us are..um...juicy..so having to get up to change the sheets and get towels verses just cuddling and talking is nice once in a while.

agreed, valynn.

SO much more to sex than getting off.

If I want to orgasm, he better make every effort to make me orgasm. PERIOD. I would never be with a guy who didn't consider it of the utmost importance to satisfy me. After all, you get what you give, right?

That being said, there IS more to sex than orgasming, and if it's particularly lovey-dovey sex, or I'm tired, or he's waaay in the mood and I'm really not, well, I don't always have to finish.

Orgasming isn't what's important. The fact that he sees my needs as just as important as his is what matters.

you wanna talk fair? how about they contribute how much time to the process of becoming a parent vs. our 9 freaking months. that is like a HUGE cosmic rip off imho.

I love the third choice haha.

I also agree #31.

My boyfriend always makes sure I climax. Other times we've had a quickie and I've said not to worry about waiting for me as the rush of a quickie is just as fun! Sex with him is great either way - an orgasm is just a lovely bonus.

Actually, if anything I climax more than him - two orgasms within a few minutes isn't unusual for me when we're having sex. This never happened with any other guy!

I love my boyfriend very, very much.

if every girl were like guys who can come everytime they do it - I kinda picture women being major nympho's. So I suppose theres a reason for everything

I'm usually come 90% of the time when I have sex with my boy

if you're not orgasming every time, then find a new guy because there is one out there who can consistently get the job done!

Orgasm by penetration alone has heppened once, maybe twice for me. Count me as one who'd like her's first for this very reason. If I've done my job right, my guy can barely move, let alone put forth the effort needed to get me mine.

I haven't actually had sex, but I do quite a bit of what might be considered "fooling around" with my boyfriend, and I often have more than one orgasm during that time, but he doesn't have any. That's what I think isn't fair. It makes me feel like I'm not very good at it. He has admitted that he occasionally masturbates, and I think it's unfair that I have to compete with HIM for his physical satisfaction. Sort of off topic, but I kind of wanted to vent about it.

Half the time I want to do it just for the closeness, and getting an orgasm just isn't my main goal.
On the other hand, to make things fair, he finishes me off after sex if I ask him to (most of the time I'm too tired) BUT he gives me orgasms at different times (often in the morning when I really am in the mood, but him not so much)