Why did them showering affect you so much? Did they have the door open and were making out loudly? I question why you were upset..I take it this is a good friend, correct? Then why were you so bothered? I think you should look into the real reason why this upset you so much....most likely the green-eyed monster!

to be honest my boyfriend and i shower pretty much every night together.. and usually nothing sexual happens.. we just shower lol.. its like doing it together is more fuN! you have someone to talk to haha.. and make funny hairstyles with your hair when its all shampooed up!! lol.. but i guess i could see how you may be uncomfortable, but you dont really know that they have bad intentions ... and plus it saves you some water!! haha

I wouldn't have cared either if my friend showered with her boyfriend. I mean, I probably wouldn't have even asked!
It's just a shower, and I'm sure it's a nice way for them to spend some alone time together. As long as you dont hear anything I think it's fine...
I love showering with my boyfriend. We don't realyl ever do anything dirty, but it's a nice little geteway for th two of us. No one there, no tv, no phones, no clothes and it's nice!

Why would they asks to take a shower together... I would have just done it if i were them... and think of it this way.. They are helping to conserve water... that helps the environment... you should be advocating this behavior for the sake of the Earth!

I never had that problem, because my shower is to small to fit to people in it But i think i wouldn't like the idea of it. I don't really know why, but i understand why you didn't like the idea. When they do something like that, they sould do it at home, or don't ask. I would never know of to say that i don't really like the idea.

I'm presuming when they stayed over they stayed in the same room. Or did you make them sleep in seperate rooms. I don't see what the big deal is I mean they are in the shower and if anything happens they can clean up after themselves very easily. Much better then them sleeping in your guest bed no?

Why did you say no?

I think the issue here is not so much that they were taking a shower together, or what they were doing in the shower, but that they were guests who wanted to do something that would make their hostess uncomfortable. I have a policy when I visit people: I imagine every host/ess is my old, frail, impoverished, morally conservative grandmother, and that every house has paper walls. This means I offer to help with the dishes, pay for outings, and I would never never ever engage in any kind of physical activity that would make her uncomfortable, even if it didn't involve sex.

I'm not sure about the ettiquette regarding co-showering--you could take the my house, my rules position that so many parents take about sleeping arrangements, but it's really a question for Miss Manners. But if you are all civilized people, the conversation should have gone something like this:

THEM: "Would you mind if we took a shower together?"

YOU: "I'd really rather you not."

THEM: "All right. I guess we'll go solo."

If you pitched a fit and acted really offended, you probably crossed the boundaries of politeness. If they pressed the issue and argued with you, or heaven forbid did it anyway, then they were incredibly inconsiderate and rude, and I would seriously rethink ever having them spend the night again.

Good hosts do their best to make their guests comfortable, and good guests do their best not to make their hosts uncomfortable. The goal is for everyone to have the optimal level of physical, emotional, and psychological comfort, and it sounds to me like in this case, regardless of what one's moral judgement of co-showering is, the guests are the ones who should have yielded on this issue.

I feel that showering together as a guest in someone home is a little disrespectful. Why not wait until you get back to your own home for that? I think ClassicsDiva is right on the money on this one.

i really think it depends on how close you are with the friend

If it's just a shower, I'd say:" What ever floats your boat" but if they'd do the nasty in there...uhm rather not. I don't fancy finding bodily fluids in my shower

I go with classicsdiva, naturally i wouldn't have any problem with but just to be on the safe side, to avoid any issues, with or without, it wouldn't hurt to refrain getting some together time in someone else's home.

if i were a guest at someone's house, taking a shower with my man would be out of the question. so naturally, if someone was a guest at my place this would make me feel a little uncomfortable too.

I think it's a little déclassé to have sexy shower time in someone else's home. It's not that showering together is wrong in any way, but I would never do it at someone else's house. That sort of thing is private, and it's likely to make your host feel awkward.

Weirdly enough, earlier today I was thinking about an old roommate I had. She and her boyfriend would get jiggy in the shower or bathtub while I was home, and it was SO uncomfortable. I think it's best to keep sexy shower time a private thing.

sexy picture.....

I think it is a little odd that they would ask your permission and a little weird that they would do it at your house. But to tell adults no you can't do that when they probably slept in the same bed was silly. It may be something they do everyday. I had a friend that showered with her boyfriend everyday because it was NYC and only one bathroom.

My really good friend and her boyfriend stayed with me for about a week and showered together everyday. I was happy about it because it meant less time in the shower! I guess everyone is different though and some people might not see it that way.

Hey, them showering together is less water wasted. Couples shower together all the time with nothing sexuall about it. It preserves water, and saves time.

It's really rather rude of them to even ask. I mean, even if you guys were quite close, it's just a little bit off.

i know someone who did this very same thing, and it was very AWKWARD for everyone who knew that our friend and her boyfriend were showering together at that very moment. even though it's a simple task as showering, just *knowing* that they might be having a little more fun in a common area that everyone was supposed to use after them, is definetly a little uncomfortable. after being on the opposite end of the situation i can say that i will never even think twice about showering with my boyfriend at a friends house. i'll save it for the privacy of my own home.

I dont understand the objection so I cannot comment on right or wrong. I think it is normal behaviour for couples to shower together and it not be sexual. You may have the impression that it is sexual. You did the right thing if it made you feel uncomfortable in your own home.

It may be normal behavior to shower with your significant other, but you shouldn't be doing it at somebody else's house. It makes people feel uncomfortable, knowing you're in the shower. She has every right to tell them she objects to it. It's HER house! If you want to shower with each other, do it in the privacy of your OWN home.

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1. obviously, if they felt the need to ask if you minded, they knew you were uptight in the first place. if you feel the need to ask someone for permission, then you probably shouldn't do it.

2. unless they were screaming for Baby Jesus and ripping the towel bars off the walls, there is no need for you to be so straight-laced about it in the first place. aside from normal conversation, you shouldn't have heard them at all. if they're disrespectful and you can hear the lovemaking, that would be one thing. but since they're considerate enough to ask in the first place, i'm assuming they'd be kind enough to keep the body fluids off the soap/shower curtain and their voices out of earshot.

3. were they relegated to different beds, too? i feel like i'm in 1950.

hey they were conserving water.. good for the enviorment..weird that they asked- i too would be a little weirded out...

I'm a little on the fence about this. I think it depends on the type of person you are mainly. If you're not comfortable with the idea, it's your house! Yes, we all know everyone's 'doing it', and we're all socially liberated and not walking around in down filled parkas and coveralls. But it's still your house, and if you're not comfortable with the idea, don't feel bad about saying no!

We can all assume different things, but really, they asked permission to have sex in your shower. Yeah, maybe they slept in a guest bed together, but regardless I think it's rude and disrespectful to engage in sexual activity at a friend or relative's home. It's low class and that is a part of your private life, not everyone wants to know about it or have to deal with the awkwardness that can occur . My husband and I have a rule "No one gets laid in our house but me and him". It might sound up tight, but it's OUR home... our friends can do it at THEIR home. ~B

I think u made a good decision by telling them no. I dont think its very respectful of their part to want to shower together in someone elses home.

I wouldn't want another couple showering in my shower together. It's bad enough that anybody other than me and my boyfriend have been in there~

It's weirder that they asked though.

It was tasteless of your friend to want to co-shower in your home.

I think this is a prime example of how people have lost all sense of privacy and decorum. We've become a society where everyone is supposed to enjoy everyone else's sexual escapades.

It seems like a rather weird request and one in which they would get off on the prospect of you knowing they might or might not be doing something. And why should you want their body fluids in your shower? And why should you even have to ask if sex is what they have in mind or just showering?

I think the fact that they asked for your permission means that they knew that showering together in a friend's home was not ideal house-guest behavior. I don't have a problem with showering together, but I think when you're a guest in someone else's home you need to show respect and be on your best behavior, so to speak. Would you walk around your friends' or family's houses naked because you feel comfortable doing that in your own home? I hope not.

If you have to ask if it's o.k., it probably isn't.

Brandi13jrm I have many friends including myself that shower with their boyfriends all the time and sex had absolutely nothing to do with it. Living in NYC and usually there is only one bathroom and when you both have to be at work at the same time trust me when I say it is a lot easier to jump in together.

When they asked was your time to say no.

I think ClassicsDiva and Bella said it best.

I think getting frisky in the shower is best saved for your own living quarters and not someone else's.

I'm sorry but the thought of it would gross me out and cleaning the shower AFTER would make it even worse. Save it for your own turf!

Bella Sugar is absolutely right. That is something that you do not need to share in someone else's home. That is something private that you need to do in your own home.

I think they knew it had no class and respect to it, when they boldly or nervously asked her if they could.

How Rude people!

I would have encouraged them to. Much better in the shower than all over my spare sheets.

I think it's just really odd that they asked. Unless you were right there, you never would have known... it was almsot as if they wanted to broadcast something.

If they hadn't, I don't think it would have been such a big deal. But since they did, I think you were right to refuse.

I wouldn't want that to happen at my place either. so if they asked, I'd be like, "please don't." simple. I don't think you're jealous or anything. it's just kind of weird. lol.

Oh, and by the way...the guy in this photo is SEXY!!!!!

Who says that couples that shower together are automatically going to get frisky? When I visit my guy's apt that he shares with two other guys, we usually share a shower, and I can't remember the last time that turned into something else.

I still don't understand why the couple asked for permission. I guess if they were asking, then they were planning something naughty. If they were just going to shower, they probably wouldn't have felt the need for permission.
-Bug

As a couple people have mentioned-
if you feel the need to ASK, it's probably not something you should be doing.

I think I would feel uncomfortable also, I wouldn't do it at my friends house as I would feel it a little disrespectful, and I wouldn't expect her to do it at my house! keep it for your own shower