We've all received engagement announcements and save the date cards for weddings, but have you ever gotten a divorce email? A recent article in Salon suggests that mass emails announcing divorces could be a trend, while other couples are breaking the news via MySpace and Facebook pages.
Some women are even hosting "divorce parties," sort of like anti-showers, where friends help recent divorcées celebrate their new futures. While some of this is tongue-and-cheek, other examples are very serious. For all the juicy details, read more
Nora Zelevansky, the author of the Salon story, writes:
Recently, my boyfriend Andrew opened a mass e-mail from his friend George, with the generic subject heading: "Please Read." Expecting a forward about the latest dangerous cold medicine or recalled cat food, Andrew was shocked when confronted instead with a deeply impersonal divorce announcement. Having left his fabulous 30-something wife for a younger woman, George expressed sadness about the relationship's dissolution and (to undisclosed recipients) sincere gratitude for years of camaraderie. ...
Andrew and I unwittingly bore witness — along with a larger anonymous group — to this relationship's public demise, just as we had watched our friends seal their bond from a pew at their wedding years before.
The article goes on to quote Jill Conner Browne, author of The Sweet Potato Queens' Wedding Planner/Divorce Guide, who says: "Sending out divorce announcements is tacky, but it's funny tacky, so it's a good thing." But sending a mass email rather than a personal note, she says, is just plain tacky.
I'm inclined to agree: After a breakup, I like to email or call my friends individually to explain the news. What do you think about mass emailed divorce announcements?
Fabi
Tibi
Lom Bok
In my opinion, that's just pathetic. Divorce is something you should be ashamed of, not throwing parties to celebrate. Are you going to invite your children to the party that celebrates your splitting up their family?
1I feel like an old lady when I say this, but what is this world coming to?? Divorce announcements in mass emails? Ugh, how low and tacky can you go. People are just so offhand and insensitive about really big issues now; missing a sensitivity chip, as Jennifer Aniston said.
2What is the world cming to??? A 70 percent divorce rate! We announced my friend's divorce and celebration via Myspace and evite invitations. The party was not celebrating that she dumped somone that was not good for her as much as celebrating her strength to start over and not be bitter about men.
3Wow, I've heard everything. What's next, circumcision announcements?
4Sadly, the "70 percent divorce rate" is not of the world. It's specifically the United States. Maybe we should take a hint from arranged marriages: they don't always love the person they marry, but they work through things and grow to love them. They sure are setting a better example for their children than Americans are. We on the other hand have the option to choose our spouse, yet we still marry people of whom we do not love, they MUST HAVE MONEY, and many American weddings end in divorce, quite quickly. It's not bad to be old fashion, my family is still against divorce. Forgive me for thinking that children should have a steady environment to grow up in, and not be swapped between parents every week, or weekend.
5Great while posting his new addie he can also send out these cute little cards. Heck I would even buy them and pay postage!!!
6how sad.
7Divorce means something happend in your marriage and it wasn't something good, obviously. So why are people celebrating? I guess they want to hear that it's ok and that life goes on but seriously, this is rediculous.
8I hate divorce. I feel like people just aren't willing to work out the rough patches anymore. I mean, I totally undertsand if it's for reasons like abuse, nbut usually it's over something so stupid.
9Marriage almost has no meaning anymore.
Divorce IMO should be a personal issue and done privately, not advertised or shared. Sounds more like a smear campaign if one person sends out mass emails or cards. If you really want to move on, just move on for yourself, not for others.
10I'm not a fan of this.
11How dumb. Not because you should be ashamed of getting a divorce more because it is just tacky.
12Tacky!
13I went out with some friends to celebrate my divorce but I had been seperated from him for 5 years and it was totally amiable!!
14I think divorce announcements are a bad idea. I agree that it's pretty tacky. But helping a friend cheer up after a divorce by having a party seems like a good idea to me. When a friend breaks up with a boyfriend she needs her girlfriends' support so why is it wrong when it's a divorce?
Maybe I feel this way because I am divorced myself, but some of the comments here really annoy me. "Divorce is something you should be ashamed of" WTF is up with that? No one gets married planning their divorce and it's hard enough to go through a divorce without people telling you something stupid like you should be ashamed for it. I know I felt bad enough about it. I got married too young to a military guy who I was totally devoted to, but military life is rough and he was gone for 6 months at a time. When he came back he was a totally different person than the one I married and after a year and a half of trying to work it out, being miserable and frighteningly depressed I called it quits. SHould I be ashamed of that? I was at first but not anymore. This post has stirred a lot up in me and I'm pretty defensive about it. I didn't have kids, I didn't split up a family, the only people who were hurting were myself and my ex but don't judge me either way.
I have a feeling if someone you loved was suffering in a miserable marriage, you would have a hard time looking them in the eye and telling them that they had to stay there. Or that they just weren't putting the effort in to fix what was broken.
I consider myself a strong woman, but I was on the verge of suicide before I left my husband. That would have been the greater sin in my book. I'm glad I respected myself enough to ask for help and remove myself from such a bad situation. Staying there would have been horrible and I would bet I'm not the only person who has been through this.
15This seems downright tacky. I think divorce should involve a bit of mourning, it is afterall the death of a relationship. And in cases with kids the death of a family unit. Sometimes things don't work out and sometimes it is the best option but it isn't something to celebrate.
I don't see anything wrong with going out with your good friends for some encouragement on starting over, but a generic e-mail out to everyone....Tacky.
16screw the traditions. if someone is getting a divorce, the easiest, no questions asked way is via email. of course people you are closer to would be told verbally. but other than that, "jane and I are splitting up" is just fine.
i mean, come on, do u really want to explain why and what happend? didn't think so.
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