Dear Sugar
I have been with my boyfriend for eight months. He has a four year old daughter and a ten month old son with his ex-wife who he lives with on and off for extraneous circumstances. I have always trusted my boyfriend, but lately he has been acting very erratic and secretive.
Whenever we are together and his ex calls, he always leaves the room and makes up excuses as to why he can't talk in front of me. Whenever we are all together, which is very infrequent, my boyfriend is very cold and distant towards me, but whenever she is not around, everything is wonderful. I am four months pregnant with his baby and don't want to be in a distrusting relationship. What should I do? Knocked up Naomi
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Dear Knocked up Naomi
This sounds like a very tricky predicament. Are you having doubts about your boyfriend's fidelity? Has he ever cheated on you before to make you think that he is could be betraying you now? Although you say that you trust him, it doesn't sound like you do. Is he still currently living with his ex? What are the reasons that they are no longer together?
His need to be secretive about his relationship with his ex is very concerning and I can understand your dilemma. Since you are pregnant with his child, I think you need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend and tell him what your expectations are for the future. Your boyfriend's dismissive attitude must not be very reassuring of his feelings towards you.
Is he planning on living with you and being a hands on father once the baby is born? How do you feel about the way he treats his two other children? Do you feel in your gut that this relationship can work? Trust is essential in every relationship, especially when starting a family together. If his current actions are any sign of what is to come, you might want to re-think your situation.
Bringing a child into a tumultuous relationship will only complicate matters, so if your instincts are telling you to not trust him, I think it is best to distance yourself. If you feel deep down that you will constantly second guess his actions and whereabouts, then you may just be better off letting him go and raising your baby in a happy, trusting and safe environment. Good luck.
Austin Reed
Ludd
L'Wren Scott
the fact that he won't talk to his ex in front of you should raise a flag. DOES he live with is EX-wife? does she know about you and that you're pregnant? i don't know the whole situation but this guy doesn't sound like good news.
1A red flag try about 100 red flags. Why is he living with his ex on and off? That should not be happening. Your having his baby why isn't he living with you? You need to have a talk like yesterday about this whole thing and be prepared to be raising this child on your own.
2lol @ 100 red flags comment. i don't think this situation is going to end smoothly, either. good luck with everything.
3Yah 300 red Flags for me. He shouldnt be living with his ex wife... y isnt he living with u? He can get u pregnant so he needs to move on in unless ur lving somewhere he cant and then u need to work on getting him in a place with u and ur child if hes in this for the long haul if he isnt then just move forward let him just b a baby daddy bc having extra emotional stress on u isnt going to work out for the babies best intrest.
4Oh and another thing if he cant talk to her around u he cant talk to her. I understand them having kids together and needing to talk bout the kids but talking about his kids is more then ok to be talked about around u, esp since u are having a child together and like i said if he is in this for the long haul then those are going to be ur step children and u have EVERY right to know whats going on just as them.
5usually when us women have feelings or doubts 90% of the time their valid. We dont just make up these stories and the fact that he is cold when she is around is so unreasonable! he should be the total opposite, cos i would feeling insecure around his ex. There is something going on and i would maybe read his text messages so u have solid proof, but dont settle for second best, if he is cheating then leave his sorry ass and raise your child with standards and morals!
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