It helps to pee right after sex. It also helps prevent UTI's.

Why is he going inside of you? Birth Control is 100% effective.

If you choose not to use condoms, I would still say he should pull out. My boyfriend likes to 'go' on certain places of my body. Its gross, but he likes it and its easier to clean me off than clean the bed sheets. (I refuse to let it get on there).

Be safe!

I know this makes me sound super weird and a little OCD, but I always put down a towel under me, and I always get up and shower after sex. We used to keep baby wipes in the night table drawer for an easy cleanup, but now that we have a baby I have a hard time using them and not thinking about her, which makes it very weird for me (don't want to offend anyone, it just has a weird association in my mind) so I stick with the towel and a shower now.

Sugar, it's not condom spillage. If their condom overflows regularly then they'd have a problem! She said they USED to use them but now don't. Now that they don't she has to deal with the spillage.

I get up and go to the bathroom after (you should do that anyway to clear your urethra, helps ward off UTIs caused by sex) and try to take care of what I can then. There is always residual, though, and unforts that's part of it all. I don't think there's much you can do about it - the times I really don't want a mess (like say, when we get frisky right before going out) I ask him not to ejaculate inside.

Wow. This is way TMI.

i'm just wondering what a UTI is?.....But yeah, I'd suggest the whole towel thing to catch the ejaculation of the woman and the pulling out and coming on body parts for the man. If the heat of the moment overwhelms you both--definitely take a shower and maybe douche if you can't get it all out.....yeah,definitely TMI---but if you don't ask, you'll never know...DEARSUGAR ROCKS!!!!

i agree with sweatpeasmom. there is a towel we keep in my bottom nightstand drawer that helps...clean up afterwards. plus.. i usually have to pee afterwards so that helps "clean" it up. but i'm also kind of confused how much is he..well..you know "going" if there is condom spillage?

uhm, there's "no" condom. The spillage she's talking about is just when her bf ejaculates in her without condom.

esix i guess i didn't read the whole thing through

A UTI is a urinary tract infection. It can make it painful to pee, and can sometimes lead to a bladder infection that is even worse. It can be treated with antibiotics, but it's better to avoid getting it in the first place.

And I have to disagree with douching... there's a lot out there that suggests it's harmful and can cause an imbalance in the natural bacteria in the vagina.

I say it's better to go pee and wipe up as much as you can, and if you dislike the "dripping" afterwards, use a towel underneath you or something else that you can use to wipe up afterwards.

second that sweetpeasmom..i was just signing in to say absolutely no douching. It's not good for you.

whats douching??

google uti, google douching.

anything else you don't know, google!!!

A get up, pee, wipe off with wet wipes in the bathroom, and then put on cotton panties and pj bottoms. This helps limit my discomfort at night with any residual leaking of fluids. In the morning I wipe again thoroughly and change panties.

I have heard op people sleeping overnight with tampons in to soak up the residual leaking but to me that seemed excessive (and expensive!).

Spillage is common. Happens to me and my husband all the time. It happens to most women, especially if the guy produces a lot of semen when he ejculates. Get up and pee after sex. That will help push most of it out.

DearSugar, I think we need to change the headline, because this is dangerously misleading about condoms-- you don't have spillage inside the woman's body using a condom, and if you do, something is terribly wrong!

As far as the actual question, pee directly afterwards (it's healthy to), wash carefully with a baby washcloth & a gentle cleanser like Cetaphil or Summer's Eve (non-soap), dry off completely, and wear cotton underwear with an unscented pantyliner. I have to be extra careful regarding sex because I have sensitive skin and am prone to frequent UTIs and yeast infections (TMI?) so I have a routine. LOL!

I have never seen as much spillage as with my current boyfriend! I'm not going to blame it all on him (cough cough) but it's just insane, when I stand up after sex it flows down my legs all over, it's incredibly messy! I usually keep a roll of toilet paper by the bed, and try to sponge it off with that until I go pee (it does help push some of it out!) and then I use a little (=big fat) wad of it (like a diaper- LOL) to help until I shower.

I don't know, I actually like it! It doesn't gross me out, it's even kind of fun. RESPECT THE SPERM!

Ok, now I sound like I'm drunk, and I just shared stuff that would make my BF kill me if he knew.

If after you use the restroom and clean off down there, you still have residual 'spillage', I'd suggest a simple pantyliner until it stops.

Yeah, the subject line is quite misleading, I think it should be changed.

Yeah, definite no-no on the douching - you'll only suffer MORE problems on top of that.

The towel trick is a good idea - and you should definitely, if you don't already, pee after sex.

I agree, go pee after sex and sit there a minute or two to let it drip out. Cotton panties, and a pantiliner afterwards will soak up what's left. If you want, take a shower afterwards. The best thing is to have one of those detachable shower heads so you can clean yourself well down there. Good luck!

You should not use a tampon to prevent ejaculate leakage unless you have your period. You should only use a tampon for your period and only an absorbancy enough to handle your flow in order to avoid problems due to toxic shock syndrome.

DearSugar, maybe it's best not to hand off the ball to a "dearsugar needs your help" when there are potential medical issues involved.

Gee, i don't know, condom's might help?

I agree with the others, douche, pee, dry up, use towel during sex, and how about if you also take a shower afterward. If you're not feeling it at night, do the other stuffs and have a shower in the morning before work or something.

My only other advice for 'less messy' is for him to pull out before he ejaculates.

And although you know you're clean, it doesn't always mean that both of you are going to stay clean (well, there's always a small chance that either one of you may end up sleeping with another person during the relationship--let's hope that it doesn't happen) so I really suggest using condom in addition to the birth control pills.

Good luck to you.

i've experienced this before. i agree with the aboce posts-- going to the bathroom right after is helpful. if that is not an option, just sit (and try) and hopefully some leaks out. (sorry to be semi graphic). lots of wiping and underwear changing is also key.

at really excessive times, i've had to put a panty liner on, especially if i was dressing and getting up soon after.

First of all this is an awesome question! Second, though it has been said a lot already, I basically have to pee right after sex because I get UTI's EVERY time I don't so when I pee I just sit on the toilet for a while or push a little to help get most of it out. After that I use a baby wipe and put on some underwear and then I'm fine!

We've always had the same problem and joke about how it's been done in history. Like when people in the medival times and such haha
Anyway, pee and push over the toilet. That usually helps. and when you wipe, use a wad of TP and kind of push and scoop/wipe. Does that make sense? probably not. Anyway, don't douche, I mean really do you want to douche everytime you have sex? THAT could get expensive

Agreed. Awesome question.

Most people wouldn't even think to ask because it's a sex question. I have the same problem and have resorted to making my boyfriend pull out before he does it so I don't have it leaking down my legs. It makes me feel disgusting while he gets to just throw on his boxers. Men get it so easy.

LOL@ "respect the sperm." Definitely agree w/that. The spillage can be a slight issue for some, but I too, like it. UTIs and yeast infections are the WORST things a woman could have.

take a shower afterwards and it may get better........it helps me....and i know what thats like...

when that used to happen to me (which i hate! why do guys have such a facination with not respecting your wishes?) i used to go to the bathroom and sit there and kinda contract my muscles until everything that was left of him came out. it worked really well for me and i never had an "accident" or got anything on my sheets afterwards.

while i understand you've been tested and you're on the pill, stick to condoms. it prevents this dilemma and prevents unexpected pregnancy. condoms are cute and helpful and they're my best friend.

I know this is gross but I'll go a whole day b4 taking a shower....b/c i hate to wash off his scent from me... he smells so good... but as far as cleaning up.. maybe you two could take a post-sex shower/ makeout..... but be sure to pee.. its important

Definitely go pee after having sex, it will get most of it out, and like others have said, it will help prevent UTIs. I use to get them all the time and this has really helped. And use a lot of TP. Someone mentioned "scoop and wipe" which works well and wear cotton panties. My husband and I keep kleenex in a drawer in our nightstand, which prevents it from running down my legs when getting up to go to the bathroom. TMI??? It's not the most pleasant thing about sex, but it's the benefits outweigh the little bit of grossness

If it's a mess, then why don't you just go back to using condoms? And please don't say, because my man likes it better without - that is really besides the point. The fact of the matter is, a woman has a lot more issues that can arise from sex than a man (at least problems are more common for women). But if you want to keep having unprotected sex, you should speak with your doctor/gyno about what process would be best for you. Otherwise, nobody knows your vagina better than you!

Quick question:
I understand how peeing helps prevent UTI's b/c during sex there is a lot of rubbing and you could get bacteria pushed up into your urethra, but how the heck is peeing going to help get sperm out? The sperm goes into the vaginal canal... not the urethra. They both open right next to each other, peeing isn't going to help push sperm out that is up inside of you ... right?
I mean I understand that basically part of it is gravity pulling the sperm down the vaginal canal... but really peeing has nothing to do with getting sperm out of the canal.

Here's a picture:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Fem_isa_2.gif

and yeah the title is misleading...

sorry for the triple post... just a disclaimer the picture is a medical drawing, not a real life person!

i agree, the title confused me a bit. i usually pee right after, mostly because i feel the need to, but i never knew that it helps prevent UTIs. never had a problem with that, but it's good to know. we usually just keep TP or a roll of paper towels handy. haha =X

1. the penis does not go in the urethra but the sperm, woman ejaculate, KY jelly...whatever goes...the motion of going in and out can push some in there. The pee acts as desinfectant and clears the urethra and the area around the opening.

2. Peeing takes some serious muscle power...believe it or not, lol. The action of peeing moves your vag. muscles and lets stuff drip off and fall in the toilet.

All good advice, keep toilet paper handy, a towel or shower....use panty liners after...it works.

here is the european advice->douche afterwards. if not with a commercial product, with a little water and the good ol fashioned finger. it's not good to leave it in there.

Keep toilet paper or baby wipes by the bed & definitely pee afterwards!

I agree. Keep a box of tissues by your bed, after sex, resist the urge to fall right asleep (i dont know how people do that anyway) and then get up, go to the restroom, and both of you can clean up.

And I wouldn't take the advice of douching every time you have sex. It's been shown that it is NOT the best way. The vagina is a self cleaning organ.

http://www.4women.gov/FAQ/douching.htm

You absolutely must go to the bathroom afterwards. I try and get as much out as I can by sitting there for a few minutes and squeezing those muscles.....it also helps if you kinda bounce on the toilet seat a little to get things moving.

Stand over the toilet for SEVERAL minutes and then jump in the shower dont rush to bed so soon. Stand up for awhile to make sure its all gone! oh and squeeze your muscles as you sit down on the toilet it helps.

I keep a box of tissues by the bed which we use to clean up a little afterwards.

Then I pee, for all the reasons stated above.

Then I rinse off in the shower.

The next day I typically wear a panty liner to catch anything.

It's a little bit of a process compared to just using a condom but it's worth it, imo.

Wow, so much misinformation, maybe Sugar needs to talk to an OB-Gyn before they post some of these things.

Douching is very bad for the Ph inside of your uterus and can lead to UTIs (urinary tract infections) and a general problem keeping the Ph level in your uterus. Don't douche if you don't have to.

The problem Neater Option is talking about is that for the first time she's realizing that ejaculate doesn't just die or fade away after sex when she's not using a prophylactic. Like menstrual blood, ejaculate comes out slowly, often taking 12-24 hours. If she's having sex every day well, good for her! Invest in panty liners. Realize that what your boyfriend puts in you is going to come out. Some people opt for the pull out, not as a form of birth control (cause the Withdrawal Roulette does not work!) but because some mess on the sheets is preferable to feeling sticky all day! DO NOT USE A TAMPON, that is a sure way to be at high risk for toxic shock!!

If she's in a monogamous relationship and they are both free of STDs then her pill or barrier methods are going to have pros (skin on skin contact) and cons (leaky next day.) She needs to discuss it with her partner and explain that as hot as it is to have sex where he ejaculates inside of her, it isn't hot when she's dealing with it.

Pee right after sex. When sex ends and you are about to stand up to go to the washroom to pee, cup your hand in between your legs, it will prevent the sperm from dripping down your leg and onto the floor. After you pee wipe away excess sperm with a personal cleansing cloth ( I prefer Always brand, make sure they are for "personal" aka vaginal use). As for after drippage, just deal with it. Wear a pantyliner if you must but it is gonna happen, we, as women, tend to leak sometimes. Go to the washroom and wipe off excess whenever needed. IF you are going to sleep right after, try wearing loose boxers or cotton undies.

p.s. the title of this post is misleading, as Esix pointed out. It has nothing to do with condoms, because spillage occurs when condoms aren't used. Maybe Dearsugar should change the post title, I think it is confusing some people.

I'll thrown in my two cents and shout: *don't douch*, unless specifically told to do so by your doctor. (and I'm getting that from my gyn) As some people said, douching affects the vaginal flora, and most of the time creates yeast infections.