I understand what you mean..my husband is the same way. He overreacts all the time. At first it would bother me but then I ignored it. I told him it made me uncomfortable and left it alone. When he starts acting like that I just walk away and tell him, "i will talk to you when you calm down". It normally works. BUT if you think this could escalate into something major maybe you two could see a therapist together to help him learn techniques to deal with stress. BUT only if he wants to there is nothing you can do to change him except model good behavior (such as how you act in stressful situations) maybe he will eventually get the hint...best wishes!

I get the same way sometimes, when little things (cell phone convos on buses, loud car music outside my window at 3 AM) will really grind on my nerves and I have problems just holding it in.

There's been some scientific studies that show yelling or punching pillows or otherwise physically expressing anger in these situations actually makes the angry person feel worse. Tell him to take deep breaths, maybe learn some meditation techniques to help him calm down when he gets riled up.

There's nothing either of you can do about the promotion, but break the other problems down into manageable parts. It's especially helpful when it comes to housing and cars to put numbers on paper, which makes the whole situation seem more manageable. Consider, for example, making a spreadsheet comparing repair costs to buying another car.

Good luck!

It sounds like he's going through a stressful time, and sometimes people just get to a breaking point. Is he like this at all during non-stressful times?

You say he doesn't take his anger out on you. But you also say he's mean etc. Who DOES he take his anger out on?

I might bring this up with him sometime, but definitely NOT right now. Wait until things calm down a bit and just say you're worried about how stressed and angry he gets.

I had an ex like this once and it was definitely one of the reasons we broke up. I thought: "If he's like this when the only stresses are a job related, how on earth is he going to handle having small children and other stresses that come with married life?"

The best thing you can do is listen and not try to cheer him up. Happy people just piss off stressed out people. Do little things to make his day easier - make his lunch, etc. If he's being mean to you, that is a form of abuse and you need to figure out if you can take that the rest of your life.

My boyfriend sounds similar to yours, though he isnt going through half of the stuff your boyfriend seems to be going through. He honestly -does- get pissed off over a glass of spilt milk. : / Since we started dating 10 months ago, I've been trying to find ways to deal with it when he does overreact to small things like this, but nothing seems to work!

If you ever figure out what to do, could you let me know?

-alexis

He needs to be able to handle his own stress, don't make it your job and don't let him misplace it into you.

I am a complete stress case, and what works for me is someone making me laugh. But that's just me.

You need to understand that the things YOU want when you are stressed and the things HE wants when he is stressed are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

I know you want to do everything you can to make him feel better. But if you have asked him flat-out what you can do to help him, and he has told you there is nothing you can do, then suck it up and do nothing.

Hovering and checking in on him to mae sure he's ok is a bad idea. They will only irritate and stress him out more. Unless his way of dealing with stress is producing real problems - like an ulcer or something - there's nothing you can do for him.

I agree with princess_eab. May not sound like the most offical or medcially correct response, but laughter is the best medicine. When I get stressed (which is often!) what I usually need is something to take my mind off of the stress, not a billion "solutions" to my problems. A little distraction goes a long way for me.

What about doing something relaxing together? Maybe working out? Taking a yoga class? Going for a walk? Getting massages? It helps to remember that most guys aren't wanting to talk about their stressful issues so distracting them can be good help. Good luck!