Not your place. Unless you have hard evidence that he's having an affair - stay back. You'll lose a friend.

Depends...if she asked for my insight on a particular sitation, I would tell her the honest truth and what I thought. If she didn't asked and seemed happy, I would leave it alone and let her make her own decisions... if I thought she was in harms way, I would get involved, but until I had reason to be concerned about her well-being, I would stay out of it.

My friends are all married.

If you say something you are likely going to ruin your friendship. Unless he's abusive or a cheater, I'd stick with something my mother taught me, "Never pass up a golden opportunity to bite your tongue." Although I don't always do so on this site, I try to leave well enough alone in my personal life. I hate drama.

I chose other because I don't think its as cut and dry as that. if she asks you if you like him, and you don't, then its ok to tell..but you can't just blurt it out. Although, I value my friends opinions and if they did come out and tell me they didn't like him..i would need a reason bc maybe they catch something i cant. but still i take it with a grain of salt if they say "just because" bc then it sounds like they're jealous

they never listen.

Usually I would say it's not my place.
But if it's because fo something bad - like he yells at her and hits her - then for sure I'll open my mouth!

Unless he is abusing her physically, emotionally, or mentally I stay away from giving my opinion if it is unasked for.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't say anything, but given the scenario you painted, I opted to tell the friend - although it would have to be my closest friend to even go there.

I have personal experience with this because my closest friend is dating a guy that scares the crap out of me. Every bit of his behavior reminds me of a guy I dated who turned out to be a crazy stalker once I tried to break up with him. Very passive/aggressive in his manipulative and cunning; and all done under the guise of loving her like no one else has ever loved her. He's always got this little, knowing, daring smile on his face that I just want to smack off.

She listened to my concerns - I think because I have never ever told her anything like this before. But as LaLaLaurie06 said - they don't listen. She's planning on moving in with him and it makes me sick.

If I was dating a guy that none of my friends liked, I would want to know. Sometime love is blind (especially at the beginning), so you need your friends to give you input. Also, I would be pissed that my BEST friend wasn't honest with me in the first place!

So, I would definitely tell my best friend how I felt about her boyfriend...constructively. Then make my peace about not saying anything sooner and not bring it up again since it is her decision whether to be with him or not.

I would tell her what I thought of him only if she wanted to hear my opinion...other wise I don't think its my any of my business.

Of course I would tell my friend if I disliked her bf. As a friend it's my responsibility to be honest. But if she liked him, I would back off.

I think I have never mentioned it but honestly I dont think they would listen. I mean I don't when they tell me things because I'm just blind when it comes to the guys I'm attracted to & date.. soo I'd probably just keep it to myself unless she asked..

I only let her know if she asked for my opinion. If not, it's really none of my business. I do always give my shoulders to cry on though, if things don't work out.

P.S.

But from my experience, even though they asked for your opinion and suggestion on what to do about their boys, they ALL never listened

they never listen and start avoiding u. Love is blind and annoyin fr everyone else.

I've found that with two of my friends, and both times I respected them while they were together. Thankfully neither of them are with those boyfriends anymore.

If they were ever close to getting married though, I would probably step in and give my honest opinion because marriage is a really big step, and since the marriage might potentially impact our friendship.

i have done that once time and she was upset with me and she and he were fine.

i told evidences, and even so she preferred believe him

Uhhhh.... yes. I've been on both sides of this (all of my friends hated my boyfriend, & I had a friend whose boyfriend everyone hated). You must air your concerns before the relationship goes too far... i.e. marriage. Interventions-- that's what friends are for. That said, there's only so much you can do. My friend married her boyfriend, and he's still a jerk. But I didn't marry mine, partially because of my dear friends' input.

I wanted to add.... usually they know what's up before you say something. A lot of women just want security/ someone to be with/ passion etc. at the expense of other things. And there's nothing that can be done about that...

Haha, not unless I wanted to be like Lauren Conrad and drive all my friends away.

Luckily I get along great with my friends' boyfriends, but I'd be honest with them if I had a reason to dislike one of their boyfriends. Of course it would have to be more than a personality conflict for me to say something.

I've told a lot of GOOD friends, CLOSE friends, that I'm not exactly fond of their boyfriends. I can get away with rolling my eyes everytime they talk about them or saying their stupid because I say that about every guy, so my friends don't take offense and it doesn't cause any trouble. I wont pressure them into getting rid of them either Ill just make it clear that the guy isn't exactly my best bud, but I've learned to turn on the hypocrisy when I'm hanging out with them, its their life after all.
I learned the hard way not to meddle in couple's business and issues. My best friend's boyfriend cheated on her once and I told her about it and lets just say it was not pretty and I was the one who ended up being blamed for everything, they got together again and we're all still friends but things were awkward for a while.

lol, i wouldn't wait 6 weeks much less 6 months if i didn't like him. but say i did, say i was in a coma and hadn't been able to speak; yes, i would tell her "HE'S A JERK!"

I wouldn't say anything until she brought up a problem that she's been having with hm. Like is she were to come up to you and say, "I think that Ryan's cheating on me' then I would tell her about the rumors I heard and that I hated his stinking guts. But until she sees a problem I would hold my peace.

No, unless he's absolutely heinous to ME.

I'd talk to her about it, but I wouldn't present the rumors as fact, and I wouldn't bring my feelings about him into it.

I'd address it as a "nasty rumor that I heard," and tell her that I was worried; "Why would someone say this about him? Does he have a vicious ex, or is someone angry at him that you know of?" I'd say that I wanted to give her a heads up so that she could talk to him and find out where these rumors could becoming from... and if it seems like she has some suspicions, suggest checking up on them only if she really doesn't trust him (check his phone).

I'd stress that I was glad that she had found someone who made her happy, but that I was concerned by the rumors and wanted to let her know. And then I'd drop it.

She may already know about his crappy past, he may have been honest! The current rumors could be totally baseless.

If I lost a friend over it, too bad. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't try to protect her?

I have made that mistake in the past and I almost lost my friend. The reality is, its up to everyone to choose their mate and friends really don't have a say about who you have feelings for. So the best thing is to try to be supportive of your friend and let her figure out for herself if he's a loser.

I would say something, BUT I would only focus on why he is not good for her and how he treats her badly. I would never tell her that I don't like him, though. That's just poor form, it won't do anybody any good, and it would only offend her.

I voted other. I would never be bold enough to say to a friend that I disliked her boyfriend. However, when a friend is going through a rough patch with her boyfriend, I usually voice my opinion then. This way I don't become the East coast version of Lo from "The Hills";)

i would not say anything unless i have hard core evidences that he did/doing something wrong.

I can't stand my friend's boyfriend, he's a self absorbed jackass who I think is very passive aggressive. While I won't tell her that I don't like him, when she tells me about things that he says and does, I use that time to let her know that I find such behavior unacceptable in a boyfriend. I will also ask questions about behaviors and state my opinion about the behaviors, not the man in general. For instance, we once went away and he didn't call her the entire time, not even to make sure she got there safely. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Did Larry call?
Peg: No. But I didn't expect him to. I didn't call him.
Me: If I didn't call Joe to let him know I made it safely, I damned sure would expect him to call me.
Peg: That's not how Larry is.
Me: Well, you should expect and demand more from him, then.

End of conversation. And that's how most conversations about the jerk go. And little by little, she's starting to see things about him. I don't attack him, I go after his behaviors and impersonalize them. She's still with him, but she's not nearly the doormat she was before.

I think your a bad friend if you don't speak up. If she can't take it then she's a bad friend. I'd want to know too.

I don't like two of the boyfriends my friends have. I think they both could do so much better than what they have and I have told them each so.

Boyfriend One with old best friend: Immediately expected a 3some and told me so. He's derogatory, womanizing, disrespectful, egotistical and downright rude. He 'knows' everything and anything. He called me stupid with some other choice words right infront of my gf and she just giggled like it was funny instead of standing up for me. He broke her heart once and I was there holding her hand and thought she saw the light when she pointed put his faults, until 4 months later he weaseled his way back into her life and gave her a ring. When she called to tell me she was engaged the first words out of my mouth were "are you serious?"

Boyfriend Two with close friend: I think he is an immature insensitive jerk. When I first met him, the first thing he said to me was: "When can I see your tits?" Great first encounter there huh? She has broken up with him several times and reunited with him and I have been there to tell her that she doesn't need a man in her life that treats her or her friends with disrespect. Last time I saw her, the damn jerk was shooting BB guns at his brother who decided to hide behind my car while I was giving a goodbye hug to my girl.

Both girls have sworn up and down that their mans have changed for the better and they they're treated right and all that BS. I think they're too dazzeled by the rock on their fingers to see the creeps that they're dating.

Both friends know my thoughts on their boys. I haven't seen my best friend since January and only because I made the effort to go see her.That friendship of 7 years is pretty much kapoot and I dunno if it was because of my opinions on her man or because of lack of effort on her side. My second gf I see on occasion but I don't like going over there because of the bf.

I say be brave and tell your friend what you think of their boyfriends. You may lose a friendship, you may not even get through to them, or by some chance the fog their in clears and they do listen to you, but I say do it. Sometimes a girlfriend needs an outside opinion on her relationship even if they don't ask for it. And if you lose a friendship over a man that has a hold of a friend, then at least you could have said you tried.

I've always said something to my close friends when these relationships start looking serious. The key is HOW to say it. "I've heard/seen some things I don't like. I care about you and your happiness and I just wanted to make sure you make decisions with all the facts. I love and support you whatever you do." DO NOT sit and talk crap about her man, or tell her what to do. Just present the information as a neutral party, then drop it. Almost invariably they deny the new information at first, then come to you a week, a month, a year later and tell you that you were right. Another good phrase: "I hope/wish I was wrong about this, but your friendship is too important to me to take that risk."

As a random aside, this is essentially the same conversation I had with my Dad when I noticed my Mom was starting to slip mentally as she got older. Again, the key point was that these are MY feelings/observations that I wanted to share to help YOU make a decision.

I would tell. I am a vocal person and that is something I would not be able to keep to myself for long.

You couldn't say anything this far after the fact. For 6-months you've known about how bad he is. At that point a friend has almost lost all credibility.

If she were indeed my good friend, she definitely would have known how I felt already. And not necessarily because it was explicitly stated...

i would tell if she asked, otherwise i would keep my mouth shut. i also would encourage you to say things like "well that's not right" when she tells you about behaviors that disturb you.

It depends on the friend. I wanted to say something to one of my friends, but as his ex-girlfriend also (yes, we stayed close) I felt it wasn't my place to say anything. And guess what? She cheated on him, treated him like crap, and now they're divorced after a year and a half. Now I feel like I should have said something...

In general though, my rule is to say something if I'm close to them and as long as I haven't dated them (I tend to have a history of dating my male friends).

While it's not your place to try to convince your friend that they need to dump their guy, being honest about what you have been hearing and what you have observed as his behavior is simply being a good friend. Chances are, she has probably sensed or heard and seen your concerns as well. Maybe she needs to hear it from someone else.

My friend is dating a guy who made her take down all online accounts, change her cell phone over to his plan, and she can't speak with her friends if he is in the room. Worst of all they just got engaged.....I think he is setting her up to be controlling and abusive.

Jeng112 - i was in an emotionally abusive relationship on and off for many years; one of the things that abusers will often do is isolate the people they are abusing. has she seemed depressed or have you noticed a strange change in her behavior since she began dating him? if so, your friend should be careful.

I would say something, but not because I would want someone else to tell me. I am very outspoken and usually say what I mean.

Jillybean...she won't listen to reason....
Big Red Flag if you have to hang up when your boyfriend enters the room. I think she is so hung up on the thought or getting married and having a baby that she really feels he can do NO wrong. I'm very independant, so he hates me. I don't drink, smoke, sleep around, go to clubs...I'm her most clean cut friend, but I'm the bad influence and crappy friend according to him. She's not allowed to see me anymore, which is ridiculous. She's willing to give up our friendship for this guy....that by the way...she was dating for WEEKS prior to her engagment. Ever notice that the word GAG is right in the middle of enGAGment. ugh!

yes i did and she thought i am being jealous!! girls are idiot sometimes!