I have exact same problem. At the risk of TMI, it's because my vagina is (I think?) smaller than average. I find lubrication definitely helps (waterbased, of course, so it doesn't degrade condoms). My college RA had one bit of advice for us: "You can never use enough lube."

Also, tell your guy to take it slow, so you have time to create your own lubrication and also so your vagina has a chance to stretch. Try changing positions to something more comfortable, since certain angles can be especially abrasive or painful.

If adding lube and changing your bedroom habits don't help, there could be a medical reason (not necessarily an STD, but that's possible too) why you're experiencing pain. You should speak to your gynecologist about this. You might want to talk to your gynecologist anyway; he or she may have some good advice to help you even if the root of your problem is not biological.

It could also be an allergy. I had a friend who didn't know she was allergic to latex until she started having sex (using latex condoms) and was upset because it hurt and she would be sore for days. I recommend trying latex-free condoms and/or seeing your doctor about it. Hope this helps!

Lube. Lube Lube Lube Lube! You need to find an excellent water-based lubricant (I recommend Sliquid Silk, it can be purchased at drugstore.com) and use it liberally.

Have you been to the gyno to rule out a tipped uterus or anything like that?

Best of luck... and STOP HAVING SEX until you find out why it's hurting you. You risk tearing some very delicate tissue down there.

Not to be a debbie downer, but this also happens with you contract herpes. I have the disease and this was happening for about a year before any sort of outbreak...

Go get checked just to be on the safe side! And the gyno can probably tell you why it hurts also, more than a popsugar reader can

I have the problem from time to time (and it has nothing to do with herpes, thanks..) from my boyfriend being much larger than me. I second the vote for lube. Don't be shy about it, most clerks art your local drug store are women too. Use it, enjoy it, and try to relax a little too. Also make sure you guy has good hygeine, since you could be more sensitive than some to common allergens and bacteria that hang out on the male unit. There are several websites about sperm allergies too, if your irritiation happens half-way through or after, this could be the cause, as could the spermicide or latex on the condoms (if you use them). If you find that is the issue, there is always the good ol vinegar and half a lemon before sex regimen

No reason to be rude Eternity.
If you are feeling pain constantly, I don't think the solution is just lube it up, maybe thats a temporary solution but if you are sexually active you need to go to the doctor no matter what.

Sorry that I gave a real life answer since I used to experience the same problem, 'thanks'.

Why do you "love" something that gives you pain? Have you always had this problem or is this your only sexual partner? If you never had this problem before by process of elimination it may be something about this b/f like the other readers have alluded to either his size or a STD. Just go to the DOCTOR and they will figure it out. Don't be shy doctors have heard and seen it all. Trust me in medschool we have seen crazy stuff, this is nothing to be embarassed about especially if it's affecting your "quality of life".

It could also be a condition called vagismus which causes spasms and tightness and sometimes pretty severe pain in the area. I have a mild condition of this... over time it gets better and better. I was a virgin when married to my loving husband and with patience and practice it has gotten better, but sometimes there is still pain.

The best thing is to have a gyno exam and talk with your doctor about the problems. hopefully the two of youc an come to a solution.

hope this helps!

Get some lube STAT. Astroglide is great.

Also, get to the doctor and rule out various medical issues.

Finally, after intercourse try a dab of hydrocortizone cream...it does wonders.

You said 'hurts' as in plural so i think you should take a visit to the gyno and see what's up.

I have to say it sounds weird that you love it but that it's painful. I generally don't love things that cause pain. I'm more the sadistic type, not masochistic.

So you've gotten a few different ideas. It really depends on different things. Is this new, or has it always been like this? Are you going to the girlie doctor? Just see what seems most appropriate. Good luck.

I'm on the same advice as many of the girls here. Lube. I use the KY Liquid, because I have issues with gel. It just icks me out. But yeah. I was hurting until we started using lube. It helps.

I think EVERYONE has this problem, especially when they first start. Two words: MORE LUBE.

I found that glycerin-based lub like KY and Astroglide got extremely sticky and caused redness and soreness. Try Liquid Silk, which is absolutely the BEST-- more like a lotion but made for, well, you know. You can get it at drugstore.com. Use a lot of it, on both you and him.

And get yourself checked out at the ob/gyn just in case, of course....

When it comes to problems like that I have one philosophy... don't self diagnose - or have others diagnose for you. Go to a certified doctor. Simple as that. Make an appointment and get it looked at. It could be as simple as using more lube, but better safe than sorry!

I agree with you Kikidawn. As much as it may be nice and possibly therapeutic to vent about ailments and problems to others it is a good idea to talk these things over with your doctor. It sounds like overwhelmingly readers are offering the "lube solution." When I read the original post it wasn't clear to me if it were pain from lack of lubrication or a different type of pain she was experiencing. If it were something other than pain from lack of lubrication she should probably be holding off on sex, especially if it's painful, until she speaks with her doctor. Guys can be a little less understanding about "girly issues," so hopefully she isn't pressured by her guy to continue with the painful sex. Sex should be enjoyed and not something that is tolerated. I sincerely hope you find out what is going on and find a remedy. Good luck!

kimsaks- what is the hydrocortisone cream for? That really is not something you should just apply freely. It has side effects and should definitely not be applied to the vaginal area specially without the advice of a doctor.

In terms of having pain during and after sex only a gyno can really help you out there. I highly doubt that lube is going to be the only thing to help it. There can be a number of reasons why you are having pain- from UTI to really anything.

GO TO THE GYNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a huuuuuge cyst on my ovary (golf ball size at least). It hurt when I had sex...a LOT - especially in certain positions. I went and had a cat scan, and against my doctors wishes tried to have sex again - it burst mid sex, and I thought I was going to die.... my bf wanted to rush me to the hospital. Went back for my ultrasound/camera thingy, and they just found the fluid left over from it =(

GO GET CHECKED

I also had a very large ovarian cyst that made intercourse painful. That could be an option, but you really should get checked out by a physician. Your body is telling you that something isn't right and a doctor could help you tease out the problem. Hopefully it is something simple tht only requires lube, but it could be much more serious.

good luck!

This seems a little like writing in to an advice column to ask what to do about a lump you've found in your breast. Go to a doctor! Advice column readers can't help you diagnose physical issues.

nobody asked this gpoor woman "WHERE" it hurts and "HOW"the pain feels?

This will probably help to pin point the problem a little more... is it internal or external pain? discomfort or a real irritation?

Anyhoo, GO TO THE GYNO! /it could be any number of things!
www.yellowpages.com

Any type of vaginal pain means you should see your doctor. It could be something as serious as cervical cancer to something benign, like an untreated yeast infection.

Also, a little known fact, is for some women their hymen doesn't break. Their's is made of much tougher stuff than your average woman's and it means their guy is literally knocking on their door every time they try to have sex but without getting in. A doctor has to remove the hymen. Have you been having pain since you started sex or just with the one boyfriend?

FYI - hydrocortisone cream should be fine to use on external genital areas, not so much internal!, for swelling and the like. says so on the tube. =)

Lube lube lube and more lube!!!
Serisouly, it works, trust me!

My best friend had this problem and she ended up having to have surgery because of a vaginal condition. This is probably a worst-case scenario, but my point is you should really go see a gynecologist just in case.

Jess Ness--I agree that it should be used sparingly and only after ruling out or determining medical conditions--that was why that was my first suggestion. i think the girl's first trip should be to the gyno. I have a condition called interstitial cystitis which is a bladder condition that has gynocological side effects. I find that this helps calm the situation, but I know what the situation is.

What I've found is that if you use the cream after painful sex once or twice you won't need it for a very long time.

kimsaks86- That makes sense. Thank you.

try FOREPLAY!

alright to be completly honest with you, half of these were half ass answers. lube isnt just a pick which ever one is prettier thing, you have to be very careful with lube, there are a lot that can go wrong, some lubes have sugar in them, and if they get into your vaginal area can cause some serious problems, secodnly some of them can burn, i know at first contact i get a burning feeling which isnt pleasant. there may be something wrong with you, you should go get checked out, but when i had that issue, it turned out both my partner and i were just dehydrated, after we drank more and more water over a time period things went back to normal. i know your feelings, i love you sex too, im nearly addicted to it, so ever when it hurt i still needed it, you should also try going to a couseler, being a sex addict isnt that big of a deal but it can be later on. but go make some appointments and drink a bottle of water :]

i have this problem and idk what to do the thing is tht sex didnt always hurt but i have a theory my last bf had a much smaller penis than my current bf which i now feel pain with idk if i should get a lube or what im pretty confident i dont have some medical condition maybe i just need a little help but idk

Wow - I have a friend who held workshops on this...for if you have a medical condition that takes a while to get resolved, like vulvodynia (which is often the result of yeast infection through your body)...I've also learned about "trigger points" in the muscles of the vagina that can cause tightness and pain...you can get help with that too, from a specialist, and work on it yourself, too, with guidance. Always best, as everyone says, to get checked out by the obgyn...and hope it turns out to be nothing but lube, or allergy to the latex condom...Sarah http://www.LoveRomanceRelationship.com