When it comes to dating your friends' ex boyfriends or girlfriends, some people strictly obey the code of friendship that states it should be a total no-no, but what if the ex has completely moved on? What if years have passed and there is no love lost? What if there is an undeniable connection that you feel you just can't pass up? Do you then think it's OK to give love a shot with your friend's cast offs? Some people say yes, some people say no, so what I want to know is, would you date your friend's ex?
Valentino
Austin Reed
DAY Birger et Mikkelsen
NO WAY!!!
1did it a couple times on accident, it turned out fine for me!
2It depends on the circumstances. Back in college, my friend dated this guy for a few months, then they broke up. Then he pursued me and my friend said she didn't mind, so I dated him for about a month. But I realized I wasn't too into him so I broke it off, and a month later, he was back with my friend. And now they're married!
There was no weirdness between us about it, but I can see how there definitely could be.
3Depends on a ton of factors. Technically my husband was my good friend's first boyfriend. In the first grade.
I'd be more than comfortable fixing up friends with exes.
4I would talk to her about it first...or not tell her at all. Whichever seems like the easiest route to getting my way and not having people hate me.
5I am friends with a few of my exes and if they were single I would try and play matchmaker...
6I agree with Amanda-La
7I've done it twice now - and married the second one! It was a little awkward at first, but she and I talked and really worked to smooth things over.
8From what I've seen from experiences my friends have had, it is not a good idea.
9It really depends on the circumstances. If the friend and guy were verrrrry serious about each other and she was really torn up after the break up, then it's probably a bad idea. Even if she's over him, there could still be some feelings there that could cause friendship problems. But if they weren't too serious, maybe didn't date for a very long time, it'd be alright as long as she gave you the okay.
10its totally wrong!
a ex-girlfriend of mine did that to me, with out permition
what a wh*re, i f*cking hated it.
I was at a bar, having a beer with some people, and she waltzes in with him, i said HI!
11never forgave her for that, and never will
No way!
12Yes.....I didn't only date him, i married him. We've been happily wed for 8 yrs.
13It really depends on a LOT of factors. If it was a short term relationship, and the friend had absolutely NO problems with it, I'd consider giving it a go, and same with them with me. However, if it was a long-term relationship, a very serious one for me or said friend, it's hands-off.
14I agreed to fix up my ex-husband and my best friend and it only proved that no good deed goes unpunished. For the first month, they thanked my over and over until they started fighting. After that, my name got dragged through every argument they had and I was used as fodder for their insults. They're currently in litigation and guess who they drag through court? These situations can only possibly work if all involved behave maturely and the odds of that happening are rare indeed. Think very carefully before entering into such a relationship - it's just not worth it!
15NEVER!
I dont like the idea of it.
16It can work, if the circumstances are right. It worked for me, because it was years after they had broken up and she didn't have an OUNCE left of feelings for him. It IS possible.
17I am, she offered him to me knowing how well we'd get along
it's so awesome, it's like extra quality control, she's already screened him
18I myself have gone through this and it's definitely not the thing to do. I was on the other end, unfortunately, and she knew how I had felt about him. He broke my heart, I confided in her, and she ended up sleeping with him anyway.
19Never!
20Ok with me.
21In fact, my signature end of relationship move was to introduce my recent, or soon to be, ex to a friend that they would be attracted to or have something important in common with. It worked 70% of the time. Although, I never parted on bad terms or felt like the friends weren't awesome, just single.
only if that girl wasn't really my friend..
22i wouldn't want a friend dating my ex, so i will give them that same respect.
23it depends on the circumstances--like whether or not the breakup was smooth, whether or not the friend minds, whether or not he minds, or whether or not he is a good guy...yeah, that sort of thing. and i know that in my case, it's all good.
24I did it to one of my close friends, then about a month later my other close friend did it to me.
BAD IDEA.
BAD IDEA.
BAD IDEA.
and i've been on both sides.
25Currently a guy I used to see very casually is hitting both on me again and my roommate. But, this is at the same time. He's an idiot. But so cute and great that every time we start talking about what an idiot he is we can't stop giggling. Dang it!!
26Never! Its an awfully bad idea and very disrespectful.
27depends on how good of friends you are...i dont think you should ever do it if its your bbbbesssst friends ex
28It really depends on how serious their relationship was. If it was just a casual, short-term thing then I don't see a big problem there. But if it was serious, its going to be pretty awkward. I personally would not go there.
29Very Freakin Doubtful!
30Ok guys.. I have a situation.. Similar to this.. I was in 9th grade and my best friend was also in 9th grade.. we like the same guy who was in 11th grade. Needless to say he did not like me.. he liked my fried. Good deal for me in the long run.. During their relationship the boyfriend and I became VERY close. Just a platonic friendship. Nothing more. We talked about everything. Good times, bad times.. EVERYTHING. it was a great great friendship.. During the relationship though.. this is a high school relationship obviously.. He had indicated that he really liked our friendship and spending time together and I blew it off.. needless to say that I am really really not the type of home wrecker! so NO BIG DEAL.. well the day came that my best friend broke up with the boyfriend that was also MY best friend too! I was there for both of them.. and continued my friendship with them both.. After high school my best girl friend and I drifted apart.. and I was still VERY close to the guy.. Needless to say we have now been together for over 2 years. It is the greatest relationship I could have EVER asked for. And it is wonderful to know that you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone that is your best friend. To make a long story short.. the old best friend from high school has a MAJOR problem with our now relationship.. and she feels betrayed. Unfortunately, we were not that close after high school. We went our separate ways.. I wish her nothing but the best and I truly hope she is happy.. but since things have flopped she is going insane about her high school relationship ending and her ex boyfriend and friend now dating. They have broken up over 6 years ago to this day. I am 23 and my boyfriend is 25.. It is very sad to me that she cannot let this go.. She regularly has people that know him call his phone and say she misses him. It's annoying.. but in the same breath.. I am going to marry this guy.. and you just NEVER know what will happen. I think if you want to date someone that was a friends EX.. you should go for it. You NEVER know what can happen with it. Thank god I did because who knows if I would've missed out on my future husband. I feel disgusted that she could be so pathetic and be so mad at me. As I said it was just a high school relationship. I don't care if she was his first love.. I'm the last and final and that's what matters. Go for it.
)
31I'm actually jumping in to this situation. First thing I did when I met the guy was phone my friend, and she was so excited for me - saying she thought we were compatible, and to go for it. She told me he's been prescreened this way. That way we didn't have to do the "coffee" first date, since I trusted him.
32aw Gib that is really sweet. it's nice to have supportive friends. unfortunately.. i did not in this department. but then again i didnt necessarily ASK for permission. I didnt feel I needed it since I wasn't friends with the girl anymore.. we hadn't talked in years..
33HELL NO!!! I wouldn't want my friends to do that to me, therefore I would NEVER do that to my friends!
34i kinda think people need to get real. it is really up to each individual person. if this person said should I date my friends ex husband and they have children. NO is more than likely the answer to that question. we're talking about a relationship with no engagement no marriage no children attached. it really isn't that serious. i think people need to lighten up. Love comes in all forms in all different ways. it's how it goes. the world doesn't stop because a relationship ended.
35I've been on both sides, too, and I still think that under the right circumstances (which can exist) there's no problem with it at all.
If you do it knowing you're hurting someone, then that kinda sucks. But if the friend and the ex are ok with it, and even encourage it, how is it disrespectful?
36That would just be far too strange a situation for me. I couldn't so much as kiss a guy knowing my friend had already been there.
37I made this terrible mistake in high school (many years ago). I lost the friend and didn't stay with the boy (because, hey, it was high school), and I've never stopped feeling bad about it. I did ultimately go to her and apologize, and she said she forgave me, but the damage was definitely done, because we completely lost touch.
38It depends. I hooked up with a guy (technically didn't date, even though it was monogamous and we were good friends) for a few months. About 8 months later, my best friend dated him, which was completely fine. I ended with the guy on good terms and had a new boyfriend (though I never told the bf, for his sake. He liked the guy as a friend, I didn't want that to change!). None of us cared, and it wasn't awkward or anything either. I actually wanted them to date and promoted it.
39That is like against girl rules! NO!
40TERRIBLE STORY FOR YOU ALL ABOUT GOING OUT WITH YOUR FRIEND'S EX.
I went out with the ex of two of my friends. I know that sounds slutty, but I was young. Anyway, we actually went out for three years (huge for that age) but eventually I broke it off with him because I thought he still liked his ex (my now ex-friend). It kills off your friendships. Really and truly. So, I wouldn't do it if I were you - speaking from experience - but hey. If you want to be me in a few years and live to tell this story to a bunch of people who wont' listen to you, be my guest.
41Wow, this brings back memories!
42Back in high school I dated a guy that was 3 years older than me. He was my first love. First everything. Then we broke up. It wasn't a bad breakup, we still remained friends afterwards. Then I noticed that my best girlfriend had developed a thing for him. He liked her, she liked him. Neither of them did anything about it, for fear of hurting me. I had already moved on though, and I wanted both of them to be happy, so I was like go for it!!! They loved each deeply for over two years, and would probably have gotten married if they hadn't been in a car crash that killed him. After that, I felt horrible, like if I hadn't of hooked them up, he wouldn't have died. Then I realized he might have died anyways and would never have known the love of his life.
You never know with love, and I say as long as two people love each other, it shouldn't matter who your exes are!
Be happy that your friends are happy.
It depends. I have a friend who is dating a guy I dated a long time ago, and they are incredibly happy (and I'm happy for her). However, a then-new-girlfriend of mine tried to sleep with my ex boyfriend about 2 weeks after I had poured my heart out to her about how sad I was we were ending, and how it was going to be so hard for me, and how happy I was to have found a friend in her.
43Yeah, I almost killed her. So, it depends on the situation, it depends on how you (the ex) feels about it, and it depends how carefully other people step around (or on!) your feelings. However, I dont' rule it out entirely because a lot of my exes are nice guys I'd be happy to see my friends with.
I think if it's done the right way it's ok.
44And under the right circumstances.
It's happened to me before, my friend dating my ex, and she totally did the WRONG way and we still won't talk to this day.
You have to approach it with caution, I mean there are feelings there, and she didn't and it definatly hurt me big time.
Sometimes, I wish she would have just asked me for a coffee so we could talk about it...but it's too late now
it depends.
really.
i mean i dont understand why people are so possessive over their exs.
also in highschool. there are only so many guys one has to chose from..
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