I can understand why he is upset because he went though alot of trouble to make it special and it didn't work out - i don't think he is upset with you per say - he is just upset that he couldn't do it the way he wanted it. You did nothing wrong and he is just dissappointed. You should just remind him that it was special - talk about the trip and how much fun you had!

first of all congrats on your engagement. I am sure your honey is upset but the important thing is that you are engaged and happy. You two will have a whole lifetime of surprises and disappointments. The important thing is that youn love each other. FORGIVEABLE!!!

Forgivable sure, but I beleive when it comes to a surprise, it is best to keep it to your self. The person who planned it is generally let down to know you found out. They usually go to such great lengths to keep it a secret and find the perfect moment and conditions that their feelings will be hurt. I know it feels like lying, but when someone's feelings can be spared, it is best, IMHO

Congratulations! Now, lesson number on of marriage is diplomacy and tact. It may have been difficult, but you really shouldn't have ruined the moment for which he planned so carefully. Silence is not a lie. He will get over it, but give him some time.

All right -- I tend to always hit 'forgiveable' because, really, there is hardly anything a person can do that shouldn't be forgiven. This included. But, I'm going to start just hitting "unforgiveable" if I think the person did something wrong. Like now.
Why can't you keep the secret? You could have called a friend or your mom or anybody and told her about what you saw, instead of ruining the moment for him. He obviously went through a lot of trouble to make everything perfect, and make it an event that you could proudly relate to your family, friends, and eventual kids. Little things like that are often as important, if not more so, to the man than to the woman. You should have waited to see how/if he was going to propose, then instead of acting surprised told him that you had seen the box. You'd still have the moment, but you wouldn't be lying and pretending you were surprised.

Um, it was a complete accident. Why blame her? Not like she sniffed around for it. It was no one's fault. And think about it, would you really have wanted to start off your road to marriage with a lie?

Like some of the girls said just comfort him; it may not have turned out as he'd hoped but bottom line is, you said yes--which was the biggest part of the plan. All that matters. One day you'll back on it and laugh.

So good luck

Surely it won't matter in the long run, but it would have been nicer towards him if you'd kept a little self-control and had waited for him to propose

Maybe you can plan a surprise night together for the two of you
to make up for your little miscalculation. Maybe explain to him you were just surprised and excited (don't forget that part!) about seeing the box. It's not everyday someone proposes to you after all

I'm sure that after a couple of years of marriage, you'll probably laugh about this when it comes up.

He should appreciate that he has an honest women. And that's probably the reason you told him. Hopefully he can get over it and not be one of those guys who dwells on the past and keeps bringing it up. Tell him, he'll just have a more interesting story to tell his friends and family, instead of just being the same old boring story we see over and over on tv.

Just tell him you did it to be completely honest with him!! What guy would be upset that he's marrying a woman so incredibly honest? You shouldn't have found it, and yes, it would have been more romantic if you hadn't, but perhaps you couldn't have lived with yourself for being dishonest.... just explain that to him.

Definetly FORGIVE!!! U did NOTHING wrong! Whats the point of starting SUCH a serious commitment with lies and guilt? You definetly did the right thing.

seems odd that he would want the "special moment" to be a lie to you. why was it any less of a surprise because you found it rather than having him ask you? why would it it be any less special because of where he asked?

you'll be telling the story of how he proposed your whole life. would you really want to repeat a lie forever? i don't think so.

forgive.

Speaking as someone who also knew they were getting proposed to- you should have totally kept your mouth shut. I knew that once it was actually happening I would be so happy and excited that there was no way he would suspect that I knew- and he didnt. Guys go through a lot trying to plan something that will be amazing- my dad joked that its the last thing a guy will ever actually have complete control over in a relationship. I voted to forgive, and hopefully your guy will get over it and it will make for a funny story later on in life.

You learned your lesson...and I'm sure you won't do that again. You'll have a lifetime of surprises, and unfortunately, disappointments, so it's time to get used to it. Next time, pretend to be surprised when he tries to surprise you!

Also, next time he must find a better hiding spot! Ha!

You didn't do anything wrong, but you should have kept it a secret.

You definitely didn't do anything wrong!

I can understand that if your BF had this big huge plan that he would be disappointed. But that's not really your fault.

Your fiance spent a lot of money and made a lot of plans so that he could create the perfect moment to propose to you. If you can't keep a secret that big, then it would have been best to call a friend or a family member rather than to confront him. It's no surprise he's upset, but he needs to learn how to let bygones be bygones.

Oh, and with all the wedding plans you two will be doing, I'm sure it won't take long for him to concentrate on something other than the mis-proposal.

It's not your fault at all...he should've done a better job hiding the ring. The most important thing is that you're engaged and aside from that, he should appreciate that you're up front with him about everything, which is very important in a marriage.

YOU SAID IT... tickets to N.Y. expensive hotel, broadway show and dinner....he must have planned that for a long time...is always a big letdown when something you think you plan so carefully doesn't turn the way you want it....it'll take a while but his dissapointment will wear off...next time...KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! lol..is not like a pair of earings was a bad surprise present either...

oh no! you should have kept it to himself. a proposal is a guys big moment, and he'll never get it back. i dont think he even considered you going through his luggage-- where else would he have put it? i mean guys arent really complex creatures. although i totally think you should have kept it to yourself at all costs, even if it was a pair of earings inside (imagine how crushed you would have been if someone had blown the surprise for you!), it was an honest mistake. forgivable.

If I were you, I would have kept it to myself. He put in A LOT of effort into this and you ruined it for him. You only get engaged once (hopefully) and I know he wanted to give you a great story to tell your family and friends. Imagine if he found a gift for him that you had been working on for weeks? You would be crushed too. You need to make this up to him....

I don't think this really qualifies as a "forgive" or "don't forgive" scenario - but that being said...

I do think you should have pretended. I understand you saying that you would have been thinking about it all weekend and would have been wondering when it was coming, but really I think it was a little selfish on your part to ruin it for him. Obviously he was trying to surprise you - hence the nice weekend away and hiding the ring. And as to the "I would have felt like I was lying to him" - that sounds to me like a rationalization on your part. HOW can he be mad at you if you were just being HONEST? But in reality, it would have been a white lie, and wouldn't have hurt him or anyone else.

But ok, all that aside, I can see why you feel bad, but it's not the end of the world. I would apologize profusely for ruining his surprise, maybe make it up to him. And all will be well. And congrats on your engagement.

does how he proposed really matter? isnt the fact that you guys are engaged the important part? i guess he wanted it to be perfect, but you guys have the rest of your lives to make special memories i mean, this is just the beginning of it

i guess this guy has a prince charming complex to get over.. these kinds of fantasies are not only limited to women!

Oh, poor guy! He clearly put a lot of thought & planning into his proposal. You know, you're lucky. Not a lot of guys put that much thought into the proposal. (Mine proposed to me over a half empty pizza box & he had to give me hints to "notice" the ring box....on top of the tv. Oh, joy! Do you see what I mean?)

I certainly don't think what you did was anything that even needs forgiving, just make sure you bite your tongue if you accidentally find out about any future surprises.

I'm sure he will get over his disappointment soon, but you can probably expect him to tease you about it in the future. I've certainly reminded my husband about his a few times!

Congratulations to you both!

Your boyfriend took you to New York, bought expensive Broadway tickets, booked you at a fancy hotel, and was taking you out for a nice dinner...and you're surprised he's upset? Sure, finding the ring was an accident- but really, you couldn't have just pretended that you hadn't seen it?

It seems to me that the only person you were thinking about was you: how you'd be thinking about it all weekend, how you would react. You never once thought of all the effort he put into the weekend to surprise you with an engagement.

Just because you have a thought doesn't mean you must tell your boyfriend. Learn some discretion- or else you won't have the happy marriage you're dreaming of.

I completely agree with "Lilegwene"!!!! I always hit Forgive - but this was the first time I felt the urge to hit Not Forgive!!!! Although, this person may have (and had) the best of intentions this is really situation that calls for discretion and a bit of decorum. This fiancé went out of his way to make this a special moment (since society has placed such an importance on: "how did he ask?" - to the point that it almost determines the success of the future nuptials. I do not mean to be a harsh judge, but really, everything from the engagement forward is about the bride (and rightfully so), that the only "thing" the groom gets is to tell how he planned the perfect engagement; and, this bride took that away from this groom. Of, course the groom is still upset about this - this was huge. At the end of the day the bride may rationalise this all she wants, but how she handled this situation was wrong, and what she needs to do is acknowledge her mistake and offer a heart-felt apology and not try to justify her actions. Sometimes being in a mature adult relationship means seeing things from the other person's perspective. Oh and btw - "Love Story" got it wrong - Love means saying you're sorry (especially when you are wrong.

I think I would have kept it to myself--waited to see what happened--let him have his moment--then maybe tell him. He went to a lot of trouble and I bet he was so excited to plan a special time for you. I don't think there would have been any harm in waiting to tell him--or never tell him. Congrats though! Much happiness to you both!

You did the right thing. I'm not sure if I'd have the courage to tell him, but there is no queston that you made the right decision. You weren't snooping or anything, and he'd probably have known if you faked surprise.

FORGIVEN! Poor thing. You didn't know he'd be so bummed.

PS--you'll probably both be laughing about this in 15 years.

Congrats!! And i hope he forgives you

Seriously! You should have considered all that he went through to set up his proposal. Of course it was going to be a ring...what guy drags his girl all the way to NY, gets tickets to a show only to give her a pair of earrings!!!! You spoiled the moment. A little tact would have gone a long way!!!! It would not have killed you to back away from the suitcase and pretend that you never saw the little box, then had the trip come to an end and you still had not seen the contents of the box you could have pretended to stumble on it while helping pack to leave.

That said...you cannot un-ring the bell. Apologize to him and ask him to forgive you. Next time give him a chance to surprise you.

How sad that his surprise was ruined!!

Forgive? Yes, but you killed the fairy tale moment he wanted you to be able to tell everyone for the rest of your life! He has a right to be diappointed!!! I would have just kept my mouth shut and gone along with it!

Girlie why didn't you keep it a secret? He obviously spent a ton of time planning it. I can def. see why he was crushed. Next time you find a present keep it on the down low. Congrats on engagement!

I was going to reference Sex & the City (when Carrie found the ring from Aidan) but that didn't end so well so never mind....

Excuse me for soapboxing a bit here, but it has always been my position that the decision to marry someone should result from a conversation, not a question. It is very sweet that your boyfriend wanted to surprise you with a marriage proposal after a nice weekend, but wouldn't you want to decide on this together? A man shouldn't have to guess when the right time to ask is, and a woman shouldn't have to be caught off guard by the proposal. (Or a man/a man, or a woman/a woman - this is an EEO soapbox.) But keep in mind, I am not a very romantic person, so I may not be the best source for this.

Congratulations on your engagement, no matter how it happened. I think this is one of those time-heals-all situations; your boyfriend/fiance will recover and hopefully realize that the future of your marriage is more important than the moment it began.

Best of luck to you both!

Granted, you found the ring accidentally, so the real surprise wasn't going to be there anyway. But I feel SO SO sorry for your fiance that you couldn't just let him propose the way he'd been planning on. I mean, you HAD to know that he had a plan, so what in the world made you decide to ruin his plan? You say that knowing about it made you feel like you were lying somehow to him. But the fact that you couldn't see or anticipate HIS feelings? I'm not sure I see that as a good trait. There's a lack of sensitivity in that decision you made.

tragedy! to think they don't have the PERFECT engagement story to tell. wow, obviously this relationship is doomed!

seriously, life isn't perfect. the way you get engaged isn't important and i question the emotional maturity of any one who thinks it is. the marriage is what is important.

if your guy is a "little" let down that things didn't go as they did in his imagination, okay. but anything more than that and i would be concerned that this is a person with unrealistic expectations who cannot roll with unexpected happenings.

who would want to tell a fake story their whole life "oh then he TOTALLY surprised me!" after the 50th time telling it you're already hating the question.

My engagement was a nightmare. It was Xmas and my man had been acting shady for quite awhile. Working extra hours, pretending like he was going to the gym but never having any sweaty clothes when he came home. Turned out he was working extra shifts to buy me an insanely expensive ring and the gym trips were really to jewelry stores. I didn't know that...

He wanted me to go to the park with him and our dog Beau but it was cold and DECEMBER in Oregon. I refused to go. That was where he wanted to propose (swear to god) but I was busy getting ready to go visit my family and at my wits end. We had a huge fight later and that was when he busted out the ring. See? A nightmare engagement. My husband is clueless but I love him anyway. He didn't need to buy me such an expensive rock, all he had to do was ask nicely. I wish he had put a little bit of effort into making the proposal a special occasion.

Congrats!!

COMPLETELY forgivable!! You're engaged aren't you??! Not sure why you told him you found it..I would have held it in, but still...it was right there...it's not like you waited until he was in the shower and ripped the room apart....he left it in a common space....he should have guarded it with his life!!

It's still fairytale-ish....I'm jealous...lol

Everything is fine!! Don't stress over this cuz I'm sure you'll have enough stress planning the wedding Enjoy the calm before the storm.

You should have jusy kept mum about it and let him do his proposal on his own time. Anyways, you can just tell him after his proposal that you sort of tumbled upon the ring...but AFTER the proposal which gave him the chance to do his own thing.

It is forgivable but unfair to him. I would definitely have let him present it to me on his own time. When my husband proposed I kind of expected it that weekend. He was asking me questions about diamonds a few weeks prior. It was still romantic even though I had an idea. I doubt that you would have had a fake reaction towards him.

Girl, shoot, you did the right thing. I know he's crushed but what? He really wants you to PRETEND and lie?!

and ongratulations

I say forgivable ... but I understand your fiancee's reaction. I know he didn't want you to lie ... he just had such high hopes/expectations of what is a BIG deal! He'll be fine eventually.

Congratulations, btw!!

Definitely Forgive BUT you really should have kept it zipped. I knew my now-husband was going to propose to me but I found out how and where via his email that he accidentally left open. Not only was the place (Martha's Vineyard) a surprise--I thought we were going to Maine, but the whole purpose (the proposal) was a secret. To make matters worse, once we got there, almost the same exact thing happened to me. He was in the shower and wanted something from his bag. I was trying to keep the fact that I knew his secret a secret, but I went into the wrong bag! Ugh! I saw the ring and I was so overwhelmed. The good news is, that he proposed in our room shortly after in a very romantic way. BUT...I kept my mouth shut because I KNEW how hard he worked on this weekend and I love him enough to know that if I told him I knew about it all, it would have devastated him.

Sometimes you have to know when to be honest and when to zip it because the situation is much bigger than just you. I knew that this moment was supposed to be special not just for me, but for him also. If I selfishly told him to get it off of my chest, I would have ruined not only my special night, but his too. And what if he didn't propose? Well, you knew he had a jewelry box and it was going to be for you...just go with the flow. No need to ruin an important moment in both of your lives just because you needed to get something off of your chest. THAT was not the time...

Hye, you didn't know what was in the box. He shouldn't make you feel bad for being honest. I think pretending to be surprised after you already saw it would have been a bigger deception.

Well it stinks that surprise was ruined but it's totally forgivable and like others have said, in the long run it won't matter. Congrats.

He is crushed becuase he went to all those great lengths to make it special and everything he had in his head to be special was ruined. Hey, whatever. Its in the past now and at least you were honest. If I were you, I would plan a special suprise for him! Then it might break the ice and let things go

I think it's a bummer that you didn't at least TRY to keep it a secret. So what if you tried and failed? At least you would have made an effort. He went to a lot of trouble to do something special for you and you couldn't be bothered to even try to protect his feelings. That makes me sad.