My son is only 2, so it's a little hard to say. One of my coworker's recently mentioned taking her son into the ladies room with him and he's 8. I think a changing room at a pool or gym is different though, because you'd expect to see women half-dressed there. I definitely know I would NOT be comfortable letting my son go by himself at 5 or 6. My daughter's 5 so I could imagine that.

All in all though, I would think it's up to the mom. There is good reason why she would want to keep her son in her eyesight in public, and she would be the one to have to live with any consequences if anything happened.

Thank God for family bathrooms!!

The Changing room is completely different than the locker room at the gym. The situation described is not a changing room at the mall it is a locker room. For me I do not want children in the locker room at the gym at all unless the parents are taking them to use the toliet than I expect them to be taken directly back to the child care center that is provided. It is so irritating to be trying to get ready to go back to work and to have little Susie or Johnny running around while Mom is in the shower.

well, my son is mentally challenged so it was always very tough for me after he reached about 6. I couldn't dare leave him alone since he would wander away so I had to bring him with me in the ladies room. I thank heavens they have "family restrooms" most places now. It solves my problem. I guess if I were going to a gym I would just get a sitter! Or not go. Or go when he is in school. I think 5 or 6 is old enough for a "normal" child. As for changing rooms in stores...5 or 6 is old enough. Honestly...I never really went shopping alone, I always went with a friend or my husband for situations just like that! Or, I would just wait til I could go by myself. Sometimes, I would just buy whatever, try it on at home, and then take it back if I needed to.

After 3 they shouldn't be allowed. I'm sorry, but I want my privacy and not some little boy running around or peaking under dressing rooms. And as for locker rooms....it says "ladies" on the door....not little boys and ladies.

I believe each case is different but in general around the age the kid goes to 1st grade. It's a pity not everyone has a father figure in their lives.

while i don't want a young boy running around the dressing room, i know it can't be easy if it's a single mother and she has a boy who isn't old enough to be left alone outside.

sometimes, it just can't be helped and i'd rather have some little boy look at me a bit funny than have him be abducted if he were left alone! honestly, it won't kill me even if it would make me a bit uncomfortable.

Open changing room, like a locker room at a gym? I'd do anything I could to avoid bringing even my 4-year-old in.

Dressing rooms at a store? I don't care how old they are, they can be 16 and hanging out and I don't care. I don't dress with the door open and I've never had a child peek under the door.

Bathrooms, that's all going to depend on the venue and child's personality. I'm sorry if it makes people uncomfortable to have my 4- or 7-year-old in there, but when I go to a baseball game or other crowded venue, I'm not leaving them unattended outside. Nor will I send them into the men's room unattended at such a place. At an easily monitored place where I can see the only entrance/exit and can easily call to them and be heard, the 7-year-old can go in. The 4-year-old won't until he can be trusted more.

I would also guess that a child over the age of 4 or 5 who would be peeking into dressing rooms would either be a) poorly supervised to begin with, which would make leaving them unattended outside the dressing room an even bigger risk, or b) developmentally challenged, requiring them to be with Mom. In both situations, I'd definitely prefer the child be in the dressing room and peeking than to be left unattended outside.

ah my gawd, i am sick of women bringing thier little boys into the changing room, cause the little brats ALWAYS try to sneak a look into mine! that and they give running commentary
"mommy, whats all that jiggly stuff"
"i have to go to the bathroom"
"its hot in here"

IMO, situations where you have children regularly peeking under the stalls requires a question of "How closely should parents monitor their children" rather than "How old should a child be." That's a problem with the parent, not the child or his/her age.

THANK YOU Caterpillar Girl!!!!!!!!!!!

I say 5, because any time after that he should be able to go in alone.

Did she at least cover his eyes? I think a mother can take her son into to men's room if he has to potty. I've done this with my nephew.

There's no way my now 4-year-old will be ready in 3 months to be unattended in a restroom. But I also wouldn't dream of allowing him to wander the room. He comes in my stall or waits with his back against my door, and has never even tried to look into or under any other rooms/stalls.

Mothers who allow their children, male or female, to crawl around and peek under doors shouldn't be allowed access to the room. No matter what the age of the child.

I think 3 cuz my 4 1/2 year old is already too old, but I think he would have been okay at 3. He's too aware now of what's going on. And we do the naked thing at home but he doesn't need to see anyone else's naked.

I don't think those kids should be in changing rooms. Restrooms are okay.

I agree about open changing rooms, where you can't close a door, you're just changing out in the room. Like I said above, I wouldn't even bring my youngest in there. Probably not at all once they're walking, actually, because of safety at that point. It's hard to grab a wandering toddler's hand when you're naked.

I'm just not 100% sure DearSugar means solely open dressing rooms, so I'm including other options.

My comment is based on an open changing room. The restroom or fitting rooms are different they can either be in the stall with you or stand back to the door as suggested above. I actually complained at my gym about a mother who's child was running loose in the locker room and while others were trying to take a shower was pulling the curtain open. Not cute!

I'd complain about that as well, regardless of the age of the child. I'd even complain about that in a department store dressing room.

My mom was just talking about this the other day. She went into a dressing room to try on a bra and this woman came in with 3 kids, the oldest 8 and a boy. She let the other two roam about the fitting room and they were going in and out of the cubicles making a lot of racket, and when they got in the one next to my mom's, and she was worried that they were going to peek under her door (which they probably would have!), so she was like "forget it!" and she never got to try it on. I have no respect for women who don't mind their children. 8 is way too old. 5ish is about right.

I am so glad that all of you have no concern what-so-ever about the SAFETY of the child, only concern for yourself and your 'jiggly' parts. I writhe in pain with this decision every time I am out with my son. I don't want to be glared at by other women who think I'm in the wrong, but I don't want anything to happen to my child either.

My number one concern is for the safety of my child. He will go with me where he needs to if I feel that he is in danger of being taken, molested, or otherwise abused in any given situation. Do you know what it's like to wait outside of a busy Men's room for your child? Do you know what it's like when it's taking longer than you expected and you don't know what to do next? No? Then you can not make that judgement call.

It's not just single mothers with no 'father figure' in the picture that go out with the kids btw, so don't blame society and the poor single moms out there for all the ills of the world.

Oh, and a child who was brought up to respect adults and the situation that they are in won't be messing around, peeking, and pulling back curtains.

It completely depends on where you are. If I'm in a big city, there is no way in H3LL that I am leaving my 5 year old son outside the bathroom to wait for me. Those that take issue with it can wait until they have children and see how they would feel if they kid got lost or kidnapped. That being said, control your children if you do take them into the bathroom or changing room. My children do not go peeking under stall walls, etc.

I dont know the appropriate age nor do I have children BUT I wouldn't let my young child go in a changing room alone either. There are many places now that have "family rooms" where people with children can go in. I used to nanny for a boy with autism who was 6 and I would have to take him in with me and I got soooo many dirty looks. He wasn't checking out "jiggly parts" or anything BUT no one knew that. Fact of the matter is that children's saftey is #1 and if it does make you uncomfortable, change in the stall...there has to be some respect both ways.

If they can go to the bathroom alone in elementary school, they can go to the bathroom alone anywhere else. I dont mean to leave them and not stand outside the bathroom. But your child is definitely too old if they can oogle the women.

By the time my son was 6 he was self aware of his body and shortly there after of others. For example he bagan to notice people who were heavy or people that were very tall. As soon as that began, the dressing room trips stopped. I wasn't prepared to defend any innocent comments that might come out of his mouth!

i've met some pretty disturbed 6,5, and 4 year old. NO. kids are wayyy grosser than you think. im still really young so ive had my fair share of perverted younger siblings. really, not smart to bring a 8 year old into a kadies locker room

*ladies

I said 5, as a rough guide. However, if the mother has no safe place to leave her young son (a child of elementary school age) I'd so much rather she just brought him into the change room. If there's a child care facility at the gym/pool/wherever that would obviously be ideal, but that might not always be the case.

I really don't care if a child sees me get changed, as long as the child is well behaved. Safety first - it must be hard in this day and age knowing where you can safely leave your child alone.

I hope all of you ladies with the stories about bratty children peaking through doors and opening shower curtains were brave enough to say something to the mother of those brats. The only way these women will learn that it's necasary to discipline their children and to teach them how to be respectful and behave in public, is for them to feel the embarrassment of being scolded by someone whom the brat offended. Oh, by brats, I mean the above mentioned children, not every child that every woman has.

My son is 4 years old, and I bring him everywhere with me. He's a very hyper, rambunctious little boy, and he needs to be kept in check by me at all times. Needless to say, if those of you without children went onto Megan's Law website, you would be astonished to learn how many sexual offenders live near your house alone. So if some prude wants to shoot me a nasty look for keeping my child safe, then f*ck 'em. (But all in moderation...I would NEVER let him play around in changing or dressing rooms...that's disgusting!)

I don't have a son yet but I can't imagine letting my daughter go anywhere unsupervised until she's at least 6. I completely agree with kiddylnd, though I may not have before I had children. Becoming a mother makes you so much more aware of the dangers out there for kids.

i am disappointed that those of you out there without children are passing judgement on those of us who do. i have 8 yr old and 5 yr old boys and i bring them in with me to womens rooms as does every other mother i know with boys the same age. in todays world it is not safe to send your children in alone. and to those who were calling the children brats, you were once one yourself, so get over it!

Yea, that's why I added the last sentence. I, fortunately, was disciplined as a child. Now, I'm not a mom, so let me ask this question. What's worst? Me calling a child whose mother forgot to discipline them a brat, or being a mother that did teach her children discipline, and having your child compared to that woman's child?

It sounds as if you are at a gym which makes me wonder why the mother is at the gym with her young children. Assuming there is child care at the gym cant she leave them there until she is done changing? OR go home and change instead of dragging a young child into a changing room. Im sure its just as uncomfortable for some children as it is for you in the room.

Now when it comes to more public places like dressing rooms and bathrooms I have no problem. There are so many pervs in the world no matter how big or small the town you live in is. If a mother wants to bring her 8 year old boy into a womans bathroom thats her choice.

BRANDYNICOLE: you brought up about telling other women to discipline their brats. Now I was brought up extremely disciplined so bratty children bug the hell out of me. But I also know not to tell other women how to take care of the children (in most cases) because mothers become EXTREMELY offended. I mean extremely offended. So good luck with that

3

how about imagining this, taking your daughter into the men's locker room. how old would she be when you didn't want her exposed to a flock of penis'??????

and frankly, WHY does the woman HAVE to change clothes before going home? wrap a towel around your waist if you're wearing a swim suit and drive home.

our club has a "children 3 and over" rule for both men's and women's locker's rooms. children of the opposite sex CANNOT enter at all. when i'm in the locker room and a child older than that enters i speak up and i'm not shy about it. if i'm dressed i complain to the staff at the front desk. it's just rude to me. like saying "my personal comfort level about changing into different clothes is more important than your personal comfort level in having on NO clothes."

as far as children with mental handicaps, i would take the word of the parent on their developmental level. if that age is under 3 i'd be fine with them in the dressing room, otherwise no.

People who are complaining about little boys in women's washrooms obviously have no idea about the dangers of public washrooms for children.
I worked as a loss prevention investigator ("floor walker" as the position is more commonly known) for a high end department store for over 2 years, and you would be astounded by the number of arrests I made in the men's washroom, for everything from exposing themselves, masturbating at urinals, male-male sexual encounters in the washroom stalls, drug abuse, attempted kid napping...the list goes on.
The men I apprehended weren't typical low-lifes you would assume, they were doctors, lawyers, university professors, teachers...people you'd think were intelligent enough to realize what they were doing is wrong.
After my experiences in this, I will NEVER let any future children of mine go in the washroom alone, until they are old enough to know if something is seriously wrong.

k8 rckstr, thank you for letting people know what you see on the job. It's so easy for some people on here to say how gross or disgusting it is to bring your child in the restroom or other place, but now that you have said first hand what you have experienced, I hope more people will understand that we just want to protect our children by doing what we do.

the situation here involved changing rooms; " I was butt-naked with just a towel when a woman walks in with her daughter and son, who looked to be about 8".

changing rooms are very different from "rest rooms". there are naked women walking around the former and there are individual privacy stalls in the later. they are not the same thing so they should not be approached as such.

while i agree 8 is definitely too old (3rd grade?), im absolutely shocked at the "3" answers! are you guys kidding? four year olds cannot and do not comprehend sexuality. they also cannot and should not be unattended. ever. i believe the appropriate age is six, seen as children normally lose their innocence around 7 years old. i do not have kids, but i work with five and six year olds and they are not at the age where they say malicious things or even make fun of each other yet--much less look at each other as "objects". their brains are not developed in that manor. trust me a four year old little boy is NOT even noticing you, much less looking at your body in a way that should make you feel uncomfortable. thats why children touch/grab/rest on your breasts with out thinking twice at that age-- they are still looked at purely for food and dont mean much else to them. im sure there are SOME exceptions but i dont even think its necessary to walk around naked. its just not. wear a towel. if a child sees you in your underwear, do you REALLY care? of course its your right to walk around naked in a locker/dressing room, but i have to assume its better for you to just give me a dirty look and get over it, then my 3/4/5 year old to .. god i cant even type it.. all the things k8 rckstr warned us about.

I Didn't start using a toilet until i was three years old and most four year olds don't understand sex and the human body quite yet. I said 6 because its usually the transition age from kindergarten to first grade and by then kids have a better understanding of the human body as well as their own body and are much more aware than you might think. Although i would never let my child near a "filthy" looking restroom where i couldnt supervise them, or maybe i wouldnt let them near it at all! But they would definately be respectful towards others and not terrorize women by peeking underneath their stalls and whatnot. I don't trust anyone these days because there really is no sure fire way to guarentee that your child will come out of the mens bathroom unharmed. Theres too many creeps out there and i dont know if i would want to risk it.

I don't have children yet, im still young.

I agree complete with lickety split! Would you take an 8 year old girl into a men's changing room?! Heck no!

It should be no different for little boys.

I'm completely stunned that someone would compare a public restroom to an elementary school restroom, and think that if a child can do the school one, they must be fine in a public restroom as well.

School restrooms don't have strangers wandering in and out, for starters. Unless you have one seriously unmonitored school campus, no unauthorized people are allowed on school grounds. Sure, there's a possibility that a teacher or other school staff may be untrustworthy, but that chance is miniscule compared to the chances of some random pervert in a mall bathroom.

I'm grateful to k8 for attempting to educate people on the dangers of a public restroom, and the danger is far higher for small boys in a restroom alone than for girls in a restroom alone. Unfortunately, people will still worry more about an innocent 5-year-old seeing them walk into a restroom than they will about that same child's safety should he be left alone in a men's room.

depends on the child's behaviour

why are they in the changing room in the first place? if the kid is in a class at the gym, then the parent should be done and ready when the kid is finished.

Anything over 3 is too old. Be respectful to the women around you who don't want a little boy in the restroom or in the changing rooms. The restrooms and changing rooms say "women" for a reason. They don't say "boys allowed".

Why not be respectful of the 3-year-old's safety? Do people really think a 3-year-old boy is safe alone in a men's room? Or is he just supposed to pee in a bush outside?

I'm not normally one to completely disregard the comfort level of others when it comes to my kids' behavior, but this is one area where my attitude is "It's too bad you're uncomfortable with my innocent 3-year-old coming in with me, but his safety is more important to me than your 2 minutes of discomfort."

Again, in an open changing room I wouldn't do it. But a restroom, especially with my 4-year-old who trusts anyone and everyone, no way is he going in alone for awhile yet.

It is not appropriate after three!!! I'm sorry, but whether people like or not, or know it or not, kids are going through serious development at that age..metally and sexaully, and seeing all that nudity isn't a good idea. PLUS ITS RUDE!! You should go and tell the people in charge. I hate seeing that. Its not ok!