We keep things separated. And each of us pays for things in the household based on the proportion of our income. He covers the rent, I cover the groceries - for example.

And if either of us ever needed money, we would certainly give it to the other person. But pooling money just causes problems... Especially if the two people spend differently. (The Husband hordes his money while I like to buy nice things and save less than he does.)

My boyfriend and I have decided to have separate bank accounts if we marry. His cousin had a joint bank account with his fiance, and when they broke it off, she drained the account and closed it. He was left with nothing, so we're learning from his mistake.

It's best for us to have joint accounts.

i want a joint account and he wants combined accounts. i really dont know how I can convince him of this. every time i mention it he gets mad and says that I am just expecting us to fail. what do you all think?

i mean I want separate accounts and he wants joint.

We have both. We have a joint as well as our own individual accounts on the side. We've been married for three months, and so far it's been working out for us. We have the same spending habits, so really, we've never fought about money in the past.

Spice G, I'm in the same boat as you. I want to keep our money separate because I'm a saver and he's a spender, but he takes that to mean that I'm not serious about our relationship.

Ugh, I wish we were both savers. Then it wouldn't be a problem.

My husband and I have our names on each other's accts, but we only use our own acct. We have a joint credit card (and we each have our own seperate cards - how can I surprise Matt with a shirt from Thomas Pink for his birthday if he sees it on his bill before I give it to him?). It works for us.

SpiceG--I don't think that means you think your marriage will fail, it's just being smart. I don't ever want to be financially dependent on my husband. I want to be in the marriage because I love him, not because I'm too poor to start over on my own. So if I got married I would definitely keep a separate account, but I think we'd also get a joint account, too--for shared expenses.

It's a matter of personal choice.

We prefer joint accounts. It works for us.

1 household account ( figure out what percentage of both of your incomes goes in -OR- decide who pays mortgage vs. utilities and insurance etc.)

and have you're own separate accounts; i was taught (by old school great-grand and grand mothers who believed in "til death") COVER YOUR A*S!

We have a joint savings account with all our wedding gift $$ in it. We also each make biweekly contributions to it.

We kept our own checking accounts though, it was just easier that way...

But my money is his and vice versa.

Do whatever works for you guys, everyone likes to do things differently!

We share everything but one lonely IRA and deposit certificate that was mine from birth. My Dad even semi-jokingly told my husband "whats yours is hers and whats hers is hers"

I am a saver and my husband tends to spend more, but since I handle all family finances we don't have a problem.

I got burned badly by a joint account so that will never work for me again.

We use billshare.org to keep track of our finances and owe each other money accordingly. We will NEVER have a joint account. Ever.

Maybe a joint credit card for house purchases? MAYBE? Even then though... we have billshare to keep track of that stuff anyway.
=D

My husband and I have a joint checking and savings account. Also, I have my own checking account so I can spend without him having to ask about it.

Our philosophy is a little old-fashioned: his salary is what we live on. If I work (or don't work) I am free to spend that money on whatever I want, but I usually just put it in our account anyway.

We have separate accounts and split up the bills; I'd actually rather just hand it all over to him to deal with (I don't really get into money details and he's good at it!) but he refuses. (And, I do need to do my share.)

We have a joint account...we had "the money talk" while we were dating and decided we would combine after we married. We do have separate credit cards, though, even though we can both access each other's accounts online. I understand both points of view, though!

As soon as we started dating, we shared everything. We never split a bill, and we never will. I just cannot. Money is not an issue. We just share the same philosophy and have the exact same interests. Its easy to decide what we spend our money on. We re getting married in four months and as soon as we decide if we live in my home country (Canada) or his (Finland), we're joining everything.

Definitely separate. My husband's not very good with money, and I don't want him to have access to my account and he's ok with that. He doesn't even have an account; when he has, he ends up overdrawing. He just gives me the money.

My boyfriend and I have had a joint savings and a joint checking account for about 6 months now. We also both have our own checking accounts. He is the one working right now, so I would have no money if we didn't have a joint account. It is nice because if I need something I can get it. It works really well for us, but I also like having the freedom of having my own account as well.

Husband and I have a joint savings and checking. However, I am planning on opening up a separate one in my name in order to save for my son's education. It's always worked for us that way.

i'm probably a rare case. my boyfriend i share our money.
we have separate bank accounts, but it's really both of ours. the money we receive is usually split or put into the one we plan to withdraw or use the most in the coming months. any cash is in his wallet unless i go shopping or need a bit for the week (i don't like carrying more than a ten or twenty on me walking too far out of campus)
and it works out well. it helps that we save together for things.

My BF and I have had the money talk, and I'm pretty sure we'll be keeping our main accounts separate, but have a joint credit card and/or checking account for household expenses.

We're both on the same page about money, but it would be a huge hassle to try to merge our separate accounts for a lot of reasons.

I think both is a good plan... and each will have a certain percentage in the joint and a certain percent in their individual accounts... it'll depend on how much they make and how hard they are saving for shared things like a house.

i think my boyfriend and i are leaning towards having individual accounts as well as a joint account. we discussed starting a joint account soon, but seeings as i'm still in school and may be heading into grad school, we're putting it off for a few more years.

My husband and I have our own accounts and also a joint account. The mortgage and bills come from the joint account, and fun shopping and gifts come from the individual accounts. I don't want to know how much he spends on me

We used to have separate accounts for years but my husband had issues with his bank and identity theft so I convinced him to use my bank, and now we have a joint checking/savings account - it's actually a lot easier for us.
We have some separate accounts too, like retirement accounts, etc.

I'm planning on having both a joint account and my own individual account when I'm married. My mother, being the cynical one she is, has always stressed that I should have my own account no matter what when I'm married, just in case anything happens. Of course I don't think that anything'll happen, but I still think it's not a bad idea to be saving in more than one place.

My husband and I have have joint checking and savings accounts, but we each have our own credit cards for gift giving and emergency purposes. I am a spender who wants to be a saver, and he is a saver. Having joint accounts have helped to curb my spending into a reasonable amount.
In addition, since he makes twice as much as me, it helps me to feel like we are both contributing to our bills and savings... it is BOTH of our money, not just one person's or the others. We have the same financial and life goals, and sharing money fits hand in hand for us

I've been thinking about this very thing a lot lately, and mine actually goes a step further. I have my own personal money market account, 401k, Roth IRA & mutual funds, in my name. Money I have been saving for my whole life, and while I have no problems helping out my BF if he needs it, that's my hard earned cash.

My problem is trying to anticipate the future. When we get married, should I change my name. If i do, and accept his last name, I have to change my accounts, then all that money becomes "our" money. And I hate to be cynical, and think about "if we ever split up" but it's a fact of life and stuff happens, and I don't want to end up high and dry if it does.

I understand the dilemma.

Married 11 years with joint accounts BUT I have my own checking account and credit cards in my maiden name. I was told many years ago that you need to retain your name on things or you disappear from the credit records and if you do separate, you need something for credit checks.

Its about trust and if you do not trust the other person - should you be with them?

It also depends on who handles the finances - for us - its me.

we have a joint account where all the money goes and the bills are paid from but then we each have our "dicking around" accounts. in other words, expenses paid first and then money into our individual accounts to buy what we want. his usually goes for electronic stuff for the house and my funds usually go toward extras for the kids. but the other person has ZERO say in how we spend that money so if i wanted to use my portion to buy diamonds or something i could.

dh and i also have individual accounts that we had before we were married for retirement and savings. the rule of thumb at our house is that bills and basic expenses are paid jointly. we have had some "interesting discussions" over the years about the old accounts and what we should do with that money. so there it sits, which i guess is a good thing

I live with my bf right now, and we keep everything seperate.
Wehn i get married, I am sure we will pool some of our income together, but I also want my own money too so I can buy presents for him or myself etc.

I am intrigued by how many commenters share accounts with their boyfriends. I can totally understand doing that when you are living together. But does anyone actually have joint accounts with their boyfriend that they are not living with? It seems excessive and dangerous to me.

Everything goes into a joint account, has since Day One of our marriage. There have been a few slip ups, when he didnt write something down, or didnt budget correctly, but you live and you learn. Its not Yours and Mine, its OURS. If we had seperate accounts it wouild seem like we didnt trust eachother, or that we were just waiting for something bad to happen in the future.

Ash, we still buy presents for eachother, we withdraw cash and pay that way.

"I was told many years ago that you need to retain your name on things or you disappear from the credit records and if you do separate, you need something for credit checks."

I was told this isn't true. It should be based on social security number overall, which would follow both names.

My maiden name has most definitely not disappeared from records.

We have a joint account and we have even before we were married. We dont beleive planning for a future divorce I pay all the bills and he perfers paying for everything in cash sho I give him money every week and if he needs more he goes and gets it (after making sure ther is money to be had) and its never been a problem for us. Once your married your life is supposed to become one and that means everything.

I dread the day when that conversation will have to happen. I know my boyfriend and I are both HORRIBLE at budgeting and spending. I almost feel like it would be best to keep our money seperate in order to still have some! I think it is important to keep seperate funds and then decide which ones you will pull together to share economic responsibility.

I think it's important that you marry someone that you can trust and not marry someone that you think you will divorce in the future. The only real cases where I can think of separating it is if one of the spouses has a real problem with money and needs to be limited.

I don't think anyone goes into marriage already planning to get divorced. I mean, maybe some crazy people. But the majority of people go into it hoping to be with the person forever.

Yet, there is still a 50% divorce rate. You simply can't predict the future or know things will turn out. And people are NOT themselves during divorces when the gloves come out. Sad, but true.

Nobody thinks it will happen to them, but it does. Keeping finances separate doesn't mean you are planning for divorce, that you don't love your spouse, or that you don't trust them. To me, it just means that you aren't all-knowing and that based on reality, it's smart to have something in place in case something unexpected happens.

We have all joint accounts. It's easier that way so we can both deposit or withdraw money and not have to worry about signing papers or needing the other to do anything with the money. When we have cash we spend it on each other so why not do the same with bank accounts.

I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years, not married and we just recently got a joint account. We still have our own accounts, but it is easier with bills to say "each paycheck please put 400 dollars in the joint account". This has actually stopped most arguing about money cause we know we are both contributing the same amount to bills, food, etc etc.

I would never get rid of my own account and I would never ask him to either. I think it is important to have your own money for things like shoes, video games or whatever you are your bo want on your own (other than your own bills, med expenses etc).

My boyfriend is not a planner, so I think this also helps him cause I added in a "savings tax" for him and I. We have a joint saving account so some of that 400 dollar a paycheck goes into a saving account for a vacation or other things that come up.

we have seperate checking accounts
and a joint savings
when i get paid i transfer 1/2 of the funds for bills to his checking and he pays them from there
BUT
i will say this
we did make sure we gave each other access/placed each other's names on our accounts
that way (God forbid) if there's ever an emergency or something happens to one of us
the other has access to each other's funds
it works for us
the bills get paid
and we get freedom with our spending money with out having to check in with the other
and if ones every low the other floats them

ps we're married and didn't have anything joint till we got married

pps
i don't think it's a trust thing
my husband has access to mine and i do to his
it's about getting to spend what's left over on whatever we want
without having to worry if there's enough in there

We keep seperate accounts.
I horde and he spends but what is mine is his and what is his is mine. When making purchases, we talk before we spend because if we know it will affect "us", it becomes conversation topic. We don't sweat the small stuff and necessities.

my first husband and i had joint accounts. things got so bad with his spending that we had to hand everything over to a financial counselor. when we split i swore i'd not make that mistake again.

then i found someone who was as meticulous about money as i was and after several talks we pooled accounts when we married. the first several months were VERY difficult for me. i didn't want to give up the control and process i had for my banking. we talked again and i thought it would be best to get my own accounts. i waited it out until everything got under control and now almost a year in i am so pleased we did it. our names are on everything and there's only one credit card between us both. i know a lot of people have said they keep their own credit card but i'm building my score after marriage number one and having the single card with his excellent score is helping mine too.

Right now, I keep everything seperate between me and my boyfriend. But when we get married, I'm pretty sure we'll just join accounts. It makes things a little bit easier. Though I can see how it might complicate some things, like he might buy an expensive PC Game or I might overshop, but overall I think it's a good idea.

My husband and I initially wanted to write up pre-nups, but never got around to doing it. My husband and I have joint bank accounts. We had joint accounts years before we got married. Actually, we shared our money with one another years before we even opened a joint bank account. My husband handles most of the money managing, but does try to include me at my request. I would be fine letting him handle everything if it weren't for my fear that I might one day be a widow, and I'd rather be prepared.