Forgive! Are we talking you or her? You are fine and did nothing wrong. All those mean things she said to you, you should actually be saying to her!
I want to know who actually said "not forgive"?
You gave them a week...are they that self-absorbed that they feel they can turn that into 3 months? I don;t care if its family, thats ridiculous and disrespectful.
I am sorry just hearing this made me so made. Being family does not give you an excuse to do as you please.

I have been on both sides of this coin and I have to say it is both of yours fault. You should of sat down sooner and spoke how you felt before it got out of hand. This situation is hard on both of you all.

You and your husband should of spoke up and said look this is taking longer than any of us thought and maybe we need to set some dead lines here and a few rules. You then could of said until we reach your dead line we (you and your husband) ask that one or two days a week we ask that you give us our house and privacy to be alone for we are newly married and need our space. You could of address grocery situations and everything else. That's why I say it's both of you and your sil's fault.

Now is to fix the problem because family does come first. I think it will eventually blow over. Until that happens,I think you should try and get in touch whether by letter or 3rd person (if she will not speak to you one on one) and explain how you should not have lost your temper and should of spoke to her sooner on how you were feeling. Explain that you know it was hard on them too, but that you being a newly wed how it was effecting you.

All you can do is say I am sorry and if she can't accept that then it is her problem. At least you will have been the bigger person and done your part by apologizing. Good luck!

While it would have been nice for you all to sit down like adults and talk things over... Your sister-in-law and her husband are the ones mainly at fault here. Don't blame yourself!
While they were living with you, they should have done more than their share of housework and bill payment. They also should have been actively trying to find a place to live. I was in their situation once - I asked a friend to stay with her for a week while I found a place. I was out of there in 2 days. I know their situation could be different, but it seems like they were just using you and your hospitality. I hope you're all able to forgive each other and live and learn, but if they are rude and unapologetic after this just remember that you are a sweetheart who allowed their stay to go on for 12x the agreed amount.

Someone who's taken advantage of you for the last three months won't talk to you and has moved out?

Lucky you!

You finally stood up and asserted your rights. Whether it's a family or friend, no one should break their promise to stay only one week.

Of course, the question to ask yourself is: Why did you allow someone (family or otherwise) to take advantage of you?

To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt's, "No one can [take advantage of you] without your consent."

Your sister-in-law has the right to act and feel about you as she wishes (and vice versa).

I hope you discuss with your husband why you both created a no-win situation and come up with a united front for future requests, whether it's a place to stay, loaning money, etc.

Here's something simple that works great... write a "to-do" list for everyone.

For example, yours would have been:

ME

Help family find apartment rental service

HUSBAND

Help X & X move in on (date) and move out on (date)

BROTHER AND SISTER-IN-LAW

Help with the household chores of X, X and X, then strip the sheets on their beds on (date) when they move out

Family forgives and understands. If she doesnt, she is as selfish as she sounds. As long as you have truly apologized for the outburst, you should feel good about yourself. My question is, how can they be gone in a day after staying 3 months? That in itself is pretty amazing to me. Something should have been said a long time ago (by your husband) in a nicer way. He probably knew his sister would blow up and wanted to avoid the situation therefore, letting you be the bad guy. Live and learn though, never again!

you're the one who should be forgiving her. And your husband should have made them leave a long time ago. Give it time, if you try too hard then she will feel superior and tell herself and others that you are unreasonable and she is a victim.

Forgive. They definitely overstayed their welcome. Although it would have been better to talk to them more calmly instead of blowing up, things like that happen & I can see that you didn't mean for it to be that bad. Hopefully with time your sister-in-law will realize that you were both at fault & find it in herself to let it go.

I'm just amazed you were able to keep it all inside for so long. You must have an iron grip on your emotions.

*Definitely* forgive.

i said forgive.. u know what though? it is a little your fault too.. you should have talked to her earlier and not let all these feelings bottle up. you ARE FAMILY and u should have been honest. she had no right to make you feel guilty by making a scene and packing up and leaving and not talking to you. Thats really rude.. and you guys are NEWLY WEDS!! She should call and apologize and fix things. however if u shared how u felt earlier you wouldn't have blown up your bottled up feelings.

Definitely forgivable. If they said that they were going to stay a week and ended up staying 3 months, I'd be feeling more than pissed as well. You probably shouldn't have blurted everything out like that but you were upset and she was obviously unaware or didn't care about you and your husband's space.

Give it time and she'll be ok.

Completely forgivable. There's the old saying that after 3 days both fish and family stink. They overstayed their welcome and should have at least had some recurring conversations about that. And if you're staying at someone else's place, you never, ever finish something up, like the last 2 eggs. That's a huge no no.

Unfortunately, these things can turn into long, drawn out fueds, so you're going to have to all get together and try to smoothe things over. But you are not in the wrong. You opened your home and helped and they took advantage of that generosity.

Well, like what others have said, your 'fault' is that you bottled up your feeling, then you're this ticking time bomb, and then you blew up during an 'egg incident'.
I don't think it's wrong to feel being taken advantage of, to feel a little p!ssed off because they're overstaying their welcome, because they are overstaying if they said they're staying for a week, but...it turned out to be 3 months.

I'm betting a buck that your sis-in-law probably thinks that you're so awful because in her narrow brain, she/her hubby accidentally ate the 2 eggs, and based on that alone (since you blew up on that instance), you kicked 'em out basically.

Your husband is a little bit to blame himself because he's not at least trying to talk with them or help resolve the problem.
Anyway, I've been in your shoes as well, but it never reached to me blowing up because all we did was sit the other person down and talked to him, soon after, he moved out (roomed with another person).

So yeah, good luck to you, give her time, talk to your husband, maybe since he's the "innocent" party in this one (according to your in laws, probably), he needs to get involved and tried to talk to them or pacify the situation.
Don't let yourself 'take the blame' especially in your family circle.

Take care.

I think it's pretty obvious you should have spoken to them about this earlier instead of letting it build to the point where you lashed out. That's what you need to remember going forward. Be careful in your communications, but honest as well.

This pisses me off just to think about a situtation like this because I had a similar problem when my parents (without really consulting with me) let my ex boyfriend live with us for 2 years (i moved out obviously UGH)

I believe you shouldve talked to them about how long they would need to stay first before it got out of hand but at the same time theys houldve had the common curtousy of complying with the one week thing and then talked about it if they needed longer

Im glad you said what you did even if it hurt their feelings because its true! if they cant understand that then its their loss

They obviously arent adult enough to understand something simple like this.

♥ Forgive ♥

Forgive! It sounds like they totally took advantage of you and your husband. Yes family should be there for one another BUT 3 months and still no apt? That is just laziness!

Eggs-$2.00
Family-Priceless

I say forgive

"Someone who's taken advantage of you for the last three months won't talk to you and has moved out?

Lucky you!"

Agree, but little is gained from keeping the heat on. Right now you’re the bit-h, and you shouldn't be. They are gone now, so ?? the real problem is over. Just get the monkey off your back and get this behind you. You can be humble without being meek and apologize to your husband, as it’s his family that is the problem and your new marriage is the important thing. Ask him if you should apologize to his sis-in-law, as you didn’t mean to hurt her fragile ego in the first place, ?? and after three months this was your ONLY confrontation. You have the patience of Jude, or is that Jobe or ?

Forgive and forget, move on with important things.

i'd say you're definitely in the right here, although everyone is at least a little to blame. you probably should have all sat down together to talk about what was going on, but you're reaction was probably the exact same thing i'd do so no judgement here i'd say write her a note card, explain that you didn't mean to explode at her, that you were just frustrated with the situation and you wish it would have come out better. i'd make it clear that you're just apologizing for the way you yelled at them, not for anything else. hopefully this will all just blow over.

and yeah, i'm baffled at how they could move out in a day after not finding a place for three months. did they just move in with someone else? sorry, but that's just lazy. i can't even fathom that, i HATE feeling like i've overstayed my welcome.

Of course forgive! You did absolutely nothing wrong!

Forgive, of course! You probably said some bad things to her, but they should not have stayed for three months in the first place.

So she's not speaking to you? Well, you had to speak to her everyday for three months....enjoy it while you can!

Hello, how were they able to find a place in one day after all?

It's too bad your hubby volunteered your place. I bet he will think twice in the future. It's sad that his own sister will take advantage of her brother's (and his new wife's) hospitality. Normal people would not do that.

"insensitive, unloving, and selfish"...she sounds like a drama queen. Stop trying to call her & stop worrying about it. She will just have to grow up on her own time.

She should promptly forgive you with absolutely no coercion. Nobody gets in the way of the woman of the house and her pancakes! That's certainly how I feel Saturday mornings.

forgive. they stayed for way too long and even though they're family, it's your home, too. you have your own things to deal with and you're only related to them by marriage. she needs to realize that she's the one who needs to respect you because she is your space and even causing conflict in your marriage and that you're newlyweds.

What made them think they would find a new home in a week? forgive! you are INCREDIBLY sweet for allowing them to stay as long as they did. I have a rough time hosting a guest for a week! And as nessabaum said, the conflict in your marriage is unacceptable.

They will surely come around.
I imagine you have already tried this, but if you haven't do a little house searching of your own? Check a few places online and maybe send them your suggestions? It might help to show them that you DO care that they find a home.

Definately forgive! It seems a bit immature of your sister in law to refuse to talk to you after you've let her live with you fro 3 months! Maybe after she calms down you can have a rational talk to her about the situation.

She's probably overreacting because she knows they took advantage of you. What's worse allowing family to infringe on you or doing the infringing? :0) I'd forgive you.

Hi, I'm new member here .. But, reading your story, I cannot stop myself from commenting.
It is very selfish of her, to overstaying for 3 months, in the first place. And, to finish it that way, it is unthinkable.

Forgive!

The way in which you went about asking her to leave was not IDEAL but that cannot be helped now. Your husband should have taken matters into his own hands and dealt with this around about.. the 1 and a half month mark. =)

Three months in your home and you are newlyweds? I think she needs to take a look at herself if she is leaving nasty notes around about how selfish YOU are when it is HER that is just projecting that behaviour onto you.

I would call in your husbands parents to deal with this personally, it seems to have turned very playground. =P

Definetly forgive!

She is the selfish one... they were totally taking advantage of you... Family is NOT supposed to do that..

I would have done the same thing you did honey!

Forgive! And She needs to apologize, not you!

Ok, my opinion: 3 MONTHS? That's crazy and incredibly selfish. I would never but a burden like that on anyone, not even family. It comes to no surprise to me that you lost it? So what? Aren't you allowed to have feelings about this?

They could have gotten a furnished place (and should have) or something else other than staying at your place a long time ago. And I agree they are taking advantage of you, plain and simple.

Now if it were me, I'd kick just about anyone out after 6 weeks. Sorry, I need my privacy!

i agree you shouldnt have let the problem fester for so long. but everyone including me has been guilty of that -- esp when it comes to family keeping the peace can become a little too important. that said TOTALLY forgiveable. your sister in law should be grateful. and understanding of your blow up. you did nothing wrogn in that sense.

I chose forgive because they totally took advantage of you and your husband. They should of realized that they completly overstayed their welcome.

It just surprises me that you didn't burst any sooner lol...

Forgive- your a saint for sheltering them as long as you have! Plus, they are bordering the line of 'out of line' for taking advantage of your welcome invite anyway...

FORGIVE! There is not even an issue. Honestly, all of the things she said you were (unloving, insensitive, etc.) should be applied to them! First of all, have we not heard of the word RENT? There are plenty of month-to-month rentals out there...look into them. Whether you are family or not,staying three MONTHS when you gave them one week is unreasonable and unquestionably selfish on their part--especially since you are newlyweds. Could you have talked to her sooner about your feelings, sure. BUT, why should you have to? After staying at ANYONE's home for three months any adult with common sense should realize, hey I think it's time for us to look for alternative housing. After you snapped at her, clearly they were able to go somewhere right? So why couldn't they have gone there sooner? I think they got comfortable using your home as a safety net. I want to know who actually said NOT FORGIVE? What is there not to forgive?

Makes my blood boil just thinking about it... 3 MONTHS! How on earth did you handle that? I bet your blood pressure is out the roof!

Forgive!

Forgive, and...

Your husband needs to tackle this issue head on. It's his family, it's his responsibility to clear things up. They've overstayed their welcome by WEEKS, and need to be told.

I probably would've lost it a lot sooner than you did.

Forgive. They completely took advantage of the situation and used the but we are family reasoning. Family or not they were incredibly rude. It clearly is not that hard to find a place if they were able to find one in a day. You all should have sat down when the week was up and come up with a better game plan when it was evident they had not found a place.

I'm in the same situation, but I hate my brother-in-law with a passion. I've blown up more than once at him, but they are STILL HERE! If you are ok with your husband, then don't worry about it. You could have handled it better, but in the end, they were mooching, and obviously not picking up on the fact that they had overstayed their welcome.

P.S. They came for a four day visit in May, and never even asked if they could move in until they found a place.

i would have freaked out at 3 weeks, much less 3 months. they took advantage of you plain and simple. you just need to get them out and patch it up.

Honey, the only mistake you made was not kicking them out earlier. Forgiven.

100% forgive because as long as you were all clear that it was just supposed to be a couple weeks from the beginning...she WAY overstayed her welcome and then overreacted. it would have been better to sit down adn talk to her, but something tells me she would have reacted to that similarly. shes probably just stressed out but just wait it out and shell come around.