If you are plus size then I don't think it is rude at all. Maybe he just wanted to get you lingerie. If you aren't plus size then I'm confused. I would ask him about it if it bothers you.

Uhm, are you plus size? Don't get all mad at the guy for trying to find something in your size.

Do you wear size 12 jeans or higher? Then, I hate to break it to you, but you ARE plus sized.

And your boyfriend didn't even call you fat. He looked up something when you weren't nearby (presumably). Seriously. Overreacting much?

Not to mention, a lot of women look really pretty/sexy plus size who wouldn't look as sexy/pretty if they were smaller. I can think of at least two of my friends who wouldn't be as beautiful if they lost (significant... as in were under as size 12-14) weight (and I can think of a lot of my friends who would look terrible if they gained too much weight).

If you actually are plus size then I think his looking for lingerie that actually fits you is a pretty nice thing to do. Also, the fact that he wanted to buy you lingerie indicates that he is thinking of you, is sexually attracted to you, and derives pleasure from looking at you all gussied up for him.

Hmm staple salad. I thought plus size was over size 16. Just because at regular stores you see sizes all the way up to 16s.

Could it be maybe you're not plus size, but you are a larger size. I'm a woman and I don't even know where plus size starts, a 14 maybe? Men are pretty clueless about women's clothing. If you are not plus size, he probably did not know any better. I would get over this quick if I were you. He obviously has been fantasizing about you in lingerie and wants to buy you some. Let him, and ENJOY that! I think you owe him an apology.

I'm sorry, your bf is responsible for your feelings? Exactly how does that work?

You sound as though you have body image issues, because you're taking this as an insult. It isn't your bf's job to make you feel good about your body - it's your job. (Just remember that if you rely on an external source for your own self-esteem, that source can take it away whenever they feel like it.)

So, if YOU think you're fat (and that's a bad thing to you), it's not your bf's job to lie to you and tell you you're not - it's your job to change your body and change your body image. Get to it.

Relax and look forward to some pretty things!

He was ordering you some lingerie!!! Cool. My husband has never done that. Just take the high road on this one, thank him and be grateful for such a nice guy!

Well, are you plus-sized? Because if you are, then your boyfriend is just being practical. What better way to find sexy lingerie than by searching for stuff that will suit you best?

It does sound like you have some body issues. Don't put it on your boyfriend to keep you happy about your body.

Maybeeee, it's not for you....would you say he is plus size?! Maybe there's a whole pandora's box waiting to be opened....

If you are plus size, then I don't see what the problem is. It would be awkward for both of you if he bought lingerie that was too small for you. He is thinking about you, and obviously wants to see you in lingerie, so be happy about that.

If it really upsets you, maybe you should suggest that if he wants to buy you lingerie, then you two can go together and pick it out. That way he picks out the style he would like to see on you and you get to keep your size to yourself. Then you can model it for him.
I agree with the other posters that he isn't responsible for your feelings. Is it just that the term plus-size carries such a negative connotation in our society? If the man is shopping for lingerie to see on you, he obviously finds you sexually attractive and he has no problem with your body. It seems that you may be the one who has the problem with it and that is something that you may want to address.

Yeah, I agree with the consensus.

To be honest, I would prefer my husband get lingerie that erred on the small side even as a 4/6. It's because I want him to think I am skinny and lithe - so I understand your feelings.

I am a 36b, and if most mainstream stores only go up to a 38, I have no idea where other girls shop.

He likes you the way you are now, though - so I'd keep that in mind.

Wow, your boyfriend was thinking of buying you a gift? What a terrible guy!

But in seriousness, try and remember that he's probably just going by the sizes you have now. I have to buy all my lingerie at plus size stores, even though I am in no way plus size size 4/6 jeans, size 34FF bust). Try to keep in mind that it doesn't matter at all what the size on the tag is, as long as it fits right it will look good. In fact, it will look a lot better to go with your actual size than stuff yourself in to what you think your size 'should' be (can you say muffin top?!). The actual number doesn't matter at all!

If that was my size I would not feel ashamed. He's trying to buy you a gift that you could get some use out of and not return. I don't think he has issues with your size I think you do. He's probably looking online because he's uncomfortable going alone to the store. Some times my other half picks out my unmentionables and color coordinates me extremely well. Thank you Victoria Secret workers who get this man. It's one of my idiosyncrasies. Not every man cares to do this.

Um, how do you know that he was looking for something for you?
Maybe it was for his mom?

jocupcake and others, plus sized can start anywhere from size 12 and up - it just depends on the store. Express, for example, won't care anything above a size 12 because they think anything above is plus-size (man were they haughty when i asked for a larger size!).
anyways, if your boyfriend does not call you fat or make comments about how you should loose weight, i don't know why you're offended. if you're not wearing plus-sized, tell him what size you do wear so he can look for lingerie in the correct size for you from now on.

is jocupcake parisa from mtv's the real world: sydney?

Several things sprang to mind:
1. He doesn't know how to shop. He might think, "Oh, well, uh, she's skinny, but she's got a nice rack and ass, so she might need a plus size."
2. He was just looking. Do you know the amount of random crap I google? If someone mentions something I've never heard of before, I'll go home and look it up.
3. He likes looking at plus sized girls/lingerie. My best friend in middle school found out the hard way her dad was into what he called "BBW porn."
4. I hate to say it, but he could be cheating on you. If you're not fat, and he's never been the kind to watch porn or look at sexy pictures, there's a very real possibility that he's seeing a girl who would require a plus size.

This, of course, is if you're not fat. If you're fat, it's no wonder he looked for it, and I would just be grateful he's buying you lingerie. He's in no way responsible for your feelings, so if you don't like your body, hit the gym and stop blaming him for making you feel bad.

it could be a lot of things.... it might be that he doesn't even know that he's looking at plus size? once i had a pair of jeans from ann taylor loft that i ruined and he suggested that i go back to lane bryant so i could get another pair! if my boyfriend were looking at plus sized lingerie, my first thought would be that he didn't notice the sizes...

I would be more concerned about the fact that he said he wouldn't be with you if you weren't pretty...

Focus on the positive. He wants to buy you gifts AND he wants your bod!! If he didn't think you're gorgeous and hot, he wouldn't buy you lingerie!! Guys don't buy lingerie for girls they don't want to see nekkid. Honestly, he's a dude - he probably doesn't know the difference between "curvy" and "plus-sized." There are plenty of words that guys think are compliments that we chicks think are daggers to the heart. (My boyfriend calls even young women "ma'am" as a sign of respect. He thinks it's polite, but I told him that I would cry if I got "ma'am-ed." It's just a little gender gap!!)

Has anyone addressed the fact that she shouldn't be snooping in her boyfriend's search history?

Why are you snooping first of all?

If you're plus-sized, guess what you should wear plus-sized clothing.

It doesn't sound like she was snooping. She could have just typed "P" in the search or address bar and a recent "P" search came up. Mine does that.

I think you are over reacting. He was just trying to do something nice for you. As stated by studio 16, maybe he doesn't know how to shop, or you are plus size and had to look for plus size lingerie in order to be able to buy you the gift. He has never told you that you are fat, he makes you feel beautiful.

Well what size are you? If you are plus sized then what he is looking at is reasonable for you. If you're not, maybe let him know your real size. Not everyone understands sizing for the opposite sex.

If it really bothered you as much as it seems to the YOU ARE FAR TO YOUNG to be in a relationship. You can't love someone else until you lover yourself.

i'm gonna go ahead and say that he was probably just looking at the pictures. lot's of guys are into "plus-size" girls

@Jocupcake

It probably depends on the store. Plus size stores around here generally sell size 14 and up (sometimes 12). And most stores around here stop selling clothes any bigger than 12-16. And the plus size stores tend to have REALLY poorly made clothes for a high price (like using non-reinforced satin on corsets/bustiers, thin stretch denim, etc).

@Spacekatgal

Most of us have to special order/go to specialty stores. My size doesn't exist (48B), and neither does one of my friends (32DDD) or another one of my friends (about a 42H) and presumably to another friend (I'm guessing she's about a 34AA). Bra stores suck because they only really cater to a small population of women. I think I know more women who can't find a bra that fits because it doesn't exist than I do that can actually go shopping.

Also, if he has that Google search suggestion thing turned on, it supplies the most commonly related search term. It doesn't mean that he actually even searched for that

Also, the fact that he wants to buy you LINGERIE shows that he's obviously attracted to you. Aside from that, you mention that when you ask him if he thinks you're fat, he says no. If you're asking someone whether you're fat, you probably already know the answer. It sounds like you're focusing too much on your boyfriend's perception of you when the real issue is your own self-esteem.

I agree with the majority of the posters here. Firstly, are you plus-size?? If you are, your boyfriend is simply buying something that fits you.

Also, your post speaks to insecurity and low self-esteem. If you are indeed plus-size, it's something you're dissatisfied about (per your post). You need to change something. Change your attitude about yourself OR lose a healthy amount of weight so that you're comfortable in your own skin. Don't resent your boyfriend who innocently reminded you of your size that you're unhappy about. This is YOUR issue to fix, as it's about YOUR self-image and YOUR self-esteem. As far self-image and self-esteem, the operative word is "self." The positive image and positive esteem has to come FROM YOU, as it's about your relationship with yourself. It's not about your boyfriend, or your relationship with him. JMHO.

Sorry, I had a lot to say. LOL

How do you know he was looking for you? How do you know it was even him? If he ever has any friends or family over it could have been one of them. I know if I don't delete my Google history on Firefox it saves EVERYTHING I ever Googled... no matter how long ago it was. If you're that upset about it mention it to him.... Next time you're on the computer and he's around "accidentally" go to his search history and mention it. Don't jump to conclusions before you know what's really going on.
Studio, My mind kind of went to the "maybe he's cheating" too.

What everyone else said. Yes you are overreacting.

So it's several hours and 27 comments after I first posted, and I realized I had something else to say, but then read through later posts and wondered why no one else said it:

If you're plus sized, why is it a big deal? Of course he's going to look for plus sized lingerie if you're on the bigger side. What do you want him to do, be in denial and buy you a size 0?

Are you plus sized? If so, what's the problem?

You need to give yourself a reality check and if you are indeed plus size then learn to accept yourself or your insecurity will eventually sabotage your relationship. If you are plus size and upset by it, then do something about it. If you aren't plus size then consider it some sort of fetish he may have.

Gee, people are being really harsh to this woman! I could understand that if a woman who was on the larger side, but knew she wasn't plus sized, found out that her boyfriend thought she needed plus sized clothing might feel a bit insecure about her weight.

tori927- he said he wouldn't be with her if "he didn't think" she was pretty, so I think he probably just meant he wouldn't be with her if he didn't find her attractive which is fair enough.

staple salad, plus size is over size 16. I'm a size 12/14 and plus sized stores have nothing that would fit me. (Shame really, they have some lovely clothing)

I wouldn't worry too much, evidently your boyfriend thinks you're beautiful and sexy, and he just might want to be sweet and buy you something to make you feel sexy. Size doesn't matter, plus sized people are beautiful.

Hey autumns_Eleg there are some plus size stores that carry size 12/14. I know that lane bryant and torrid both carry size 12/14 and I believe a few others do too. I think plus size varies with each company.

OP I agree with the majority, he was just trying to buy you a gift he didn't mean any harm.

I don't even understand this comment. If you have typical size 6 measurements, then the plus-sized lingerie site probably has nothing to do with you. If you're well-endowed, maybe he thinks that's why you need a "plus sized" bra. If you are a size 12 or over, maybe those are the only websites he knew of where he was sure to find something that would fit you.

Why don't you just ask him why he was looking at those sites??? It would save you a lot of needless hang wringing and body insecurity

yeah, I agree with cordata and others.

If you're a typical size 6 with a smaller cup size, the website may not even be related to you. He may just be enjoying looking at those BBW sites and/or he may be buying it for someone else (himself or other ladies--and yes, imho, if he's buying a lingerie for another woman, bbw or not, he's probably cheating).

If you are a borderline size, either 12/14 or even more, or have bigger size cups, there's a possibility that he just thinks you're very well endowed hence you need appropriate undies for your size.

Which ones are you? It's only you who really know, OP. And why don't you mention it to your bf? Perhaps you should consider too why you're checking up on him. Good luck.

What the heck is BBW?

The first thing that popped into my mind is that perhaps he's buying it himself, goes to show the inner workings of my mind. But yeah plus-sized is not so plus-sized anyway, and you're much better off getting underwear in the right size it is way more flattering. Trying to fit into a teeny tiny size will actually make you look bigger.

*for. goes to show my laziness too

BBW=Big Beautiful Woman