In my opinion, pregnancy is just something you don't mess around with. Whether you want to tell your boyfriend the hoax is up to you. If you tell him, you could risk losing him again for good, or you could keep it to yourself and have the guilt pent up, but he would still be with you.

you manipulated him. and you did something that may have wracked him with guilt. most lies can be forgiven, but a lie of this magnitude- especially the depths you went to continue the lie, even calling off of work, and you probably faked being emotionally distraught- I wouldn't forgive you if I was a guy. I'd still tell him and then take your lumps, whatever they may be. it's the only way to feel better about the whole messy situation.

i would have to say forgive-i am sure that most will not agree with me. I don't think what you did was acceptable. But, I can undertand it. when you love someone so much that you would do anythhing to get them back. However, If you tell your boyfriend, he will probably dump you again. You will hace to live with the guilt of this if you decide not to tell him. And that sound like it will be punishment enough.

Stuff like this give women a bad name!

You should never lie about being pregnant

That's so wrong. I think you need to stop lying and tell him the truth and take your chances. Good luck to you.

Do you really want to be with a man who is with you because you guilt-tripped him into it? You deserve to be with someone who really loves you, and he deserves to be with someone who is honest with him. Really, whether you tell him or not, I think you should end this relationship and finds someone who genuinely wants to be with you.

I couldn't forgive you for this, but my opinion doesn't matter. I say you leave him without fessing up. It'll only hurt him--just get yourself out of his life, and him out of yours, because he's turning you into someone you don't want to be.

that is one of the worst things that you could do to lie about being preggers that is just awful

The New Black, I totally agree with you. When I read stuff like this it disgusts me!

I also don't believe that "loving someone so much you'd do anything to keep them" is an appropriate excuse. I don't think that's love at all - it's desperation combined with manipulation.

Do him a favor and cut him loose, or tell him the truth so that he'll cut you loose. No one deserves to be someone who has lied to them the way you lied to him.

you are CRAZY and should be ashamed of yourself for doing this. I hope when he finds out the truth he dumps you.

That whole lie just makes my skin crawl. What, is this 1943, that women are still doing things like this to keep men?

Ditto jennifer76 and The New Black!!!!!

Seek Professional Help.

I thought people were only dumb enough to do this in soap operas.

What you did gives us all a BAD NAME
And no, I don't think that's ok at all what you did.

I honestly chose 'undecided' because I'm kind of confused, since your bf accepted you back after you told him that you're pregnant and had an abortion?

That's a very interesting fact to me, I'd have thought that he wanted you back because he wanted to be responsible for the baby. So he wanted you back because he felt sorry for you for going through so much (for pretending that you went through so much).
This sounds like a relationship doomed if you had to lie like that to keep a guy. He'll leave eventually (unfortunately).

I'm in the minority here. If you want him in your life, don't tell him.

It seems to me you need forgiveness from YOURSELF for what you did. A guilty conscience is a b*tch, isn't it? It's hard to live with yourself after what you did, isn't it? I hope somehow you can resolve your troubled conscience. Did you learn from your mistake? Maybe this is the first step (I'm not sure). I wish you peace of mind, and peace of heart.

Now I understand why some men never feel like they can trust women. Totally unforgivable, imo.

I think if you want true forgiveness, you should confess and see if he stays with you. Otherwise, isn't your relationship based on deceit and manipulation?

NOT FORGIVE.
I'd tell him, otherwise, like chakra_healer said, your relationship wouldn't be based on the right things.
And also, you have to think, he didn't give you another chance because he loved you; he gave you another chance because he thought he knocked you up.

That's the classic way psychos try to make guys stay with them. He needs to know and don't be surprised if he dumps you immediately and has a restaining order filed against you.

What you did is not ok, why do you want a guy back that doesn't want you? He just came back because he thought you were going to have a baby. I say that you shouldn't tell him, because the only reason you want to tell him is to get it off your chest. That is not fair to him, don't hurt him any more just to help yourself, that is being selfish just like the lie about the baby was. So you should not tell him, but go ahead and leave him...leave him alone. Then you both can move on and he doesn't have to be hurt just to make you feel better.

this is unacceptable...i was in a situation where i was on the outside of it..but i had a guy friend who i had dated caually on and off for a few years--he had a girlfriend who he broke up with..and a few weeks later started dating me again. the ex lied to him, told him she was pregnant, he went back to her bc he was one of those guys who would be there in the baby's life..and then turned out she was never "pregnant" which i knew all along. it completly ruined his and mine friendship...its not funny..babies are serious things..not a pawn to try to get someone back

ahh casually* i wish i read thru my comments before i sumbitted them

i give up haha submit*

Girls like you are why men think all women are bad and liars.

I only hope you didn't scar him.

I think you should tell him rather than just leave him because then he'll be hurt even more thinking that he did something wrong. If he stayed with you even after the abortion it's probably because he was willing to give things another try, and he may have started developing real feelings for you again (as opposed to getting back with you because he thought you were pregnant, which was most likely something done out of feelings of responsibility). Tell him so that he can be rightfully mad at you and break up with you. He shouldn't have to feel bad in any way because you want to end the relationship. He deserves to be told the truth about the deceitful and manipulative thing you did. I would definitely not forgive.

This is one of the worst lies you can tell someone. There is a reason why you two broke up in the first place, & you are only adding to the problem by keeping a lie like this. It will come back & bite you in the butt if you don't come clean. Ok, so you have him back which is what you wanted... but what's going to happen when he finds out the truth? How are you going to feel when it doesn't work out in the long run? You are setting yourself up for more heartache & forcing him to be with you when it clearly wasn't working out.

I hate to say it, but I think this is unforgivable. If you have to lie to keep someone, you need to sort out your self-esteem issues & find confidence & love for yourself.

oh wow, i feel for the next girlfriend that this guy has. she'll have to deal with all the residual emotional baggage that you've just dumped on him (if you tell him of course).

i'm sure this guy isn't perfect, but man do i feel sorry for him right now. i swear, crap like this is what makes men talk about how untrustworthy women are. actions like yours give our whole gender a bad name. faking a pregnancy is on par with crying rape when it isn't true.

sigh...it seems like you realize what a sh*tty thing you just did so you need to come clean and accept the consequences.

and then get professional help. seriously.

Everyone deserves to be forgiven, no questions asked.

However, what you did was most awful. You do need to come clean with him.

Not forgive.

That lie just screams out desperation. You should not want to be with somebody that badly that does not want to be with you.

I voted not forgive. What you did was cruel and unkind to this man.

Now, we need to deal with the situation at hand. You're feeling guilty, and you want to know if you should tell him. Let's be realistic- if you tell him this, there is no way in hell he's going to stay. So you have two choices really-

1- stay with him and never tell him. You're going to have to live with the guilt the rest of your life and spare his feelings. Yes, you're going to have to make a sacrifice and hopfully learn from this. Know that you'll constantly wonder if he'll find out. Learn to manage the guilt- it's called a consequence. Try to become a better personand never manipulate someone like this again. Who knows, maybe he'll never find out and things will work out. Sometimes good people make bad mistakes, and I really hope you fall into that category.

or

2- tell him, and know that he'll most likely leave you. And then, do as stated above- learn from this and never, ever do this to another person again.

Good luck. Like I said, good people sometimes make bad mistakes. I know I have.

Btw, from what i've been reading here(almost a year), this is the second letter like this. Except the previous confessor didn't say she had an abortion just to quell the situation.
I say leave him because he deserves someone that's worth it. Your action disgust me.

I'm glad you have a conscience about this now, HOWEVER, you HAVE to tell him! What you did is wrong, as you're aware, and this guilt won't just go away. If he chooses to leave you, then so be it. Your actions warrant this consequence.

Forgive. Sounds like you are already punishing yourself enough.

I agree with everybody else:

A) You lied about the most atroscious thing; never ever tell a man you are pregnant just to keep him.
B) You need to tell him ASAP, and don't be surprised if he leaves you. Also when he leaves you, but all ties pronto.
C) You need to seek counseling of some sort to sift through your problems.

After reading this, I am apalled to be a woman.

*but=cut

What you did was sick, twisted, and disgusting. If you really want to make peace with yourself, break up with him and leave him alone. No wonder guys have trust issues. Its women like you who ruin things for the rest of us. Maybe you should think about going to a counsellor for some help as well...sounds like you have some issues of your own to deal with.

I can't muster up any sympathy for you because you created this entire thing. You orchestrated it right down to calling in to work for 3 days.

This hits an all time low of things to do to someone you allegedly care about, and is very telling of what you're capable of and what you'll do when things aren't going your way. I sure wouldn't want to be in a relationship with you.

I can't believe someone would actually do this. Tell him what you did, and live with your actions. It'll hurt him, but it's better he find out from you now than by accident later because I really doubt you could keep this lie going forever. Yes, he probably will eave you, and don't try to get him back, leave the poor guy alone. He's been through enough. And get some counseling!

Wow! That is unforgivable. Why on earth would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you? That makes no sense. Lies and manipulation do not make for a healthy relationship. Eventually he'd leave you anyway, so just be honest and get it over with now.

Unforgiveable.

I think its irrelevant whether or not you tell him. But you need to get out of this relationship, if no other reason than to save him from enduring more of your lies. Why do you even want to be in this relationship?

Not good.... you know what you did was wrong, but the situation is still happening and you need to end it. Tell him and break up with him.

I also remember this from last year with the exception of the abortion. You are deceitful. Completely, unforgiveable I do not care how much you want someone in your life lying to keep him makes all women look bad. What you did was so manipulative and wrong I cannot believe that you even thought everything out to the point of faking an abortion. Wow, your a catch. I hope you get dumped after you tell your boyfriend what you have done because you deserve it.

if the situation was reversed and he was the girl and you were the guy and he did this to you, could you ever ever trust him again? yea think not. its girls like you that make girls look bad.

i hope he runs a mile a NEVER looks back...a little psycho there....just sayin'

a similar story was posted here awhile ago.. i voted not forgive then, and not forgive today.

thats a pretty bad lie. If he wanted to stay with you he would without the baby. You kind of forced him to stay with you, you are happy but is he? If he is and you will tell him that you lied he wont leave you. Just tell him the truth because if he wanted to leave in the first place, you were not maybe meant to be you know? I mean if he stays with you even when you tell him that you lied than its all good! If he doesnt get over him and find someone else.

As someone with a personal tie to abortion, and simply as an independent, strong-willed woman, this sounds horrific to me. Tell him, don't be surprised when he dumps you, and never do something like this again! Learn from your mistakes, please!

I can't believe that the kind of person who would pull this stunt is capable of writing as coherently as the op did.

Boo! I'm shocked and amazed by women who pull stuff like this.

I'm going to be the sensitive one here and say that we all make mistakes. We all have our shortcomings and have done things in the act of desperation. You might have went a little overboard but instead of criticizing this girl and making her feel awful we need to really figure her out.

Question you need to ask yourself

Why were you so desperate that you would look past your own personal morals to make this man stay? What makes him so great that you have to make yourself do something so awful to keep him around?