I understand the feeling of withdrawal after a big, fun event is over. It's okay to feel a little sad, so allow yourself some time to recover.

You have plenty to look forward to: building a life together, going on vacations, perhaps buying a house and having children! The possibilities are endless.

I think its pretty normal, after any huge event or goal, sometimes you kind of feel like.. eh.. it's done, what now. Roseate is right, there are so many things in your future. Just start thinking about all of the new things you guys plan on doing. Whatever your plans are for the future, focus on those and start thinking about them. You don't have to start planning or putting anything into action yet, just start thinking about them. Do whatever gets you excited.. I know for me, a quick browsing shopping trip where I look but don't buy usually starts to get me in the mood.

I think the most important thing is not to beat yourself up about it. Feelings don't have to be rational, but you also don't have to act on them either. It's okay to be glum right now, just start working on ways to get out of your funk.

Sweetie, if getting married was your biggest goal in life - you just need more ambition!

I also finished a giant lifelong goal this year, so I do know what you mean. I found myself a little listless afterwards, wondering what to do with all the energy that had gone into it. You just need to reasess. Ask yourself what you want, where you're going, what you need.

Marriage is a huge adventure. There is plenty of learning and excitement left in it, believe me!

I agree, while the wedding event is over, the wedding result of the marriage, the journey has just begun - enjoy it!!

I think the options were a little misleading. I don't think it's something to just shrug off as "whatever," but I'm sure it's pretty common and able to be worked through so it's not really an "OMG" type thing either.

I feel this way always after something big had already passed. I guess you'll have to look forward to being a mom.

This post is completely lost on me. Each sentence is a non sequitur of the previous sentence. I think it's me. I don't understand what's really bothering this woman.

I had the same thing. You spend a lot of time planning and it's over. Thankfully, I also had a child and a career to focus on; so, I didn't think about it too much.

As others have said, I think it's normal to feel a let-down after a big event. I'm not married, but in the past couple years, I graduated from law school, passed two bar exams, and ran my first marathon. After feeling like I was working non-stop towards certain goals for years, I suddenly felt like I didn't know what to do with myself. My advice would be to figure out something new that will make you happy. It could be a new fitness goal, like trying a type of exercise you've never done before. Or getting involved with a charity, re-decorating your house, planning a trip, adopting a pet, learn new styles of cooking, take an art class, joining a book club, really, anything that interests you and will give you something fun to do in your spare time . . . It's perfectly normal to have that momentary "I have nothing to look forward to now" feeling, but the sooner you make your mind up to move forward, the better you will feel.

You'll get over it as soon as you have something else to look forward to.

Sounds a little selfish...Start doing exciting things together like once a week date night or trips away on weekends, keep it interesting for you and for him

I feel like this happens most often when people are planning more for the party than for a marriage.

Wow, how pathetic. Seriously, how self-centered and full of yourself can a person possibly be? Nowhere in this does she mention anything about her husband or loving him or anything. It's all about her - her marriage is just something to "check off the list"??? Seriously, I feel sorry for the poor guy who married her!

kia, I couldn't agree with you more.

I understand the feeling, but boo-freaking-hoo! Weddings and parties and big events are not the be all and end all of life. I'm not married yet, and I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also looking forward to seeing my family for Christmas. I'm looking forward to a day off next week. I'm looking forward to seeing my boyfriend tonight. The only time I can't find something to look forward to is when I'm severely depressed, and I don't think post-party blues is clinical.

I did have a critical response to this one until I saw that many know exactly how she feels so I will stay my criticism.

It's not about the starting pistol or the finish line hopefully being death do you part. It's about the journey, the growth, the romance and the memories.

Sounds like she needs to do other things with her life besides plan for a party. I don't think that a wedding has to be the only fun day of your life.

Nothing left to look forward to? Come on! You've got your whole entire lives to share together.

i also think that todays society and media build up the "wedding" and you look forward to planning and having this wedding. I am in no way ready for marriage, but i'll do it now just to have a wedding and wear the white dress. You are just so excited for it, once its over. the high is over. just like anything else in life.

Well, it is a huge life event and a big change, and when all the lead-up and excitement is over, there's a real psychological letdown. I don't think it's anything to do with being selfish or regretting her decision, it's just a mind thing. A lot of women experience the same thing after having a baby the first time. All the build up and the excitement and emotional preparation and being the "pregnant princess", then the drama and excitement of the birth...then reality. Everyone goes away and leaves you with the baby, and you get down to the business of life again. You're completely changed, but the rest of the world keeps on spinning like before, and it can be disconcerting. Same thing with a wedding. Just my opinion. She'll bounce back, I'd bet.

EW
that's easy: BECAUSE YOU MADE SUCH A HUGE DEAL ABOUT YOUR STUPID WEDDING

of course once it's over you're going to be sad because you, and most other girls, build up weddings to be the greatest things in their lives. they spend the first half of their life praying for it and wishing and planning and getting excited and telling everyone they know until all of their friends are nauseated with them.
then they spend the second half of their life missing their wedding, thinking about it, remembering it, making scrap books, talking about it until all of their friends are again, nauseated with them.

what an existence! thank god i didn't watch disney movies as a kid.

I have never been married, but I can see where the poster is coming from. For a long time, people tend to hype up situations in their lives, whether it be a wedding, graduating, an arrival of a new baby, and when it's finally over, I think you get the feeling of "wow, that was really it, there will be no re-do of that one". When I graduated from college I felt extremely upset and I felt like I didn't have anything else to look forward to (in that department) and you know what? I completed bachelor's degrees, but I still have another graduation ceremony and something to be really proud of in the next few years. I don't think the people who get upset over things like a wedding being over care more about the party than anything else, and frankly, it's rude to assume that is with the OP is doing. I see a person who reached a milestone and is upset that she can never have that moment back again. I see nothing wrong with it at all. If people can't truly understand why you'd be upset over losing a moment like that, take a psychology course. It might give you some insight into the fact that people perceive things differently, and one person (gasp) just happens to feel upset after crossing a finish line.

Anonymous--that's a little too judgmental. We all have different experiences, different interests, etc. Who knows? The poster may find your lack of interest in a wedding a little odd.

Wow, you guys are really harsh.

Anon at 21: bitter much? yeeps. She didn't say she got married years ago and still is obsessed with her wedding day.

I think "letdown" after a big event is TOTALLY NORMAL. In 2007 I found out I passed the Maryland Bar Exam AND went sub 4 hours in a marathon for the first time --- within 2 weeks of each other. It was really exciting and happy, but after that I was left with... now what?

I'm doing my first Ironman in 19 days (!) and I'm kind of worried that after all of the celebration I'll wallow a bit in post IM blues.

to the OP: find something new to look forward to/ do. Train for a race, take up knitting, take some adult ed classes, etc.

I think you need to use this time to be very introspective of yourself. Think back to when your husband proposed to you. What did that mean to you? Why did you want to marry him? Think of all the reasons why you wanted to spend the rest of your life with your husband...... now start doing them!

Runningesq - we sound like the same person! (see my comment #9)

I understand peoples' frustration with how weddings are treated in today's society, but I think it's kind of missing the point with regard to the OP. I have no desire to have a wedding of my own, but I definitely had the blues after being a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. My college friends and I live in different cities and states, but her wedding gave us an excuse to get together every other month or so for showers, dress shopping, bachelorette parties, etc., so I always had a fun weekend with friends to look forward to. Then after it was over, it was a little disappointing to not have any more fun weekends scheduled. It's the same let-down you have after getting back from a fun vacation. I guess maybe not everyone gets that, and that's the reason for the harsh criticism?

Too much emphasis are put on weddings. I don't want a "best day of my life". Every day is the best day because I'm alive and healthy and have a wonderful relationship.

How about... THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TOGETHER?

Geez.

I guess this is why people have kids and get dogs... because they have nothing else in their lives.

WOw, sparklestar, that's kind of harsh.

I'm married and I have three rescue cats. I didn't adopt them because I have "nothing else" in my life --- I have my career as an attorney, my triathlons, my friends, family, husband.. I adopted them because I enjoy their company and it makes me happy to give an animal that previously had a horrible life a loving one.

Yeesh.

Well done for taking entirely the wrong end of the stick.

I didn't suggest that people who have animals have nothing else in their lives (I have 3 rats and 2 cats myself). I meant that it's NO WONDER people like HER adopt animals because they have the proposal, the wedding and then it's ON TO THE NEXT LIFE STAGE.

If the aftermath of the wedding is such a "let down" then it kind of goes to show that it was the only thing in her life worth bothering with for quite a long time. When I got married the excitement of the preparation was all very nice but once it was all over I wasn't depressed about the wedding being over, I was excited for the future!

Isn't that a normal reaction? To be excited for what is to come?

People like this get married and then have nothing to look forward to. So they have kids and adopt a dog because well, what else is there to do in the life cycle except that?

if not this then something else. one of those annoying people who's never satisfied.