I am a faithful listener of the radio program This American Life. Each week the show offers an entertaining and in-depth look into various themes ranging from the financial crisis, to children switched at birth, to the perfect break-up song. This week, the program took on an invariably popular topic of discussion: cheating.
In the intro, host Ira Glass discuses how some happy couples have no problem admitting that they got together because one or both of them cheated. You can see evidence of this in the New York Times Vows page, where newlyweds often use coded language implying that it took infidelity to bring them together. (Of course, they also want to believe that fate was somehow involved too.)
These write-ups will say that a couple's romance was a "bumpy road" or that they "encountered some obstacles." The episode suggests that these couples justify their infidelity by believing that whatever happened, everybody (including the exes) is better off because fate brought together two people who were meant to be. True or not, this is definitely a self-serving conclusion!
Do you think there can ever be a happy ending when infidelity is involved?
Moschino
Pilgrim
Shu Uemura
Totally, it's possible! But, human declarations of noble intent are so predictable that they contain no information, even in the technical sense of the word. (I learned that from reading Noam Chomsky.)
You're right, Tres that it's very self-serving logic. Here's hoping the cheaters learned whatever they needed to learn by fraking up their first marriage. Oh, I'm sorry, I meant going through the bumpy road.
1That's absolute crap. I hate people who rationalize their bad behavior. If you're going to be a douchebag, at least wear the label proudly.
I'm really sure two people who ruined two separate marriages are able to make it work when they're together. Ugh.
2it is self serving but speaking from experience yes, there can be happy endings when infidelity is involved. Meaning, you decide your happy ending, some couples work it out and heal from infidelity, others divorce and go on to live happy productive lives.
However, I don't think the majority of couples who end up together because they cheated on their previous partners will remain together forever. Some (very few) do, yes, but the majority don't.
3I would like it if every cheater just got married to another cheater. It would help eliminate all the relationships that would be torn apart by them.
4Ya know, I love This American Life, but damn is it depressing sometimes. However, I believe that infidelity can sometimes lead to happiness. I cheated on an abusive ex-boyfriend with someone who genuinely cared about me, and 7 years later we're still together.
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