Give him the boot!If he trully loved you he would not take off on you hanging out with friends!

Forget your friends and family. You know he sucks without having to hear it from them.

You broke up with him not once but twice because of all the shady stuff he pulls. Ever hear the quote: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

You are going to let this guy get a third shot at making a fool out of you. Why? A couple good conversations and "chemistry"? No long, healthy relationship can be based on those reasons alone.

You've already broken up with him twice because of his skeezy and inconsiderate behavior. Why on EARTH are you even considering trying for #3? If he hasn't changed yet, he's not going to, no matter how much he might protest to you that he will. Quite frankly, if you are dumb enough to believe him and get back together (AGAIN), you deserve every bit of heartache he's going to give you. Get smart, stock up on bandaids, and yank that arrow right out of your heart.

Girl, it's time to move on. Your friends and family are seeing this with a much clearer head than you are, and they don't want to see you suffer any more. Please don't keep cycling through this-- I did this for 4 years with someone and wouldn't listen to my friends or family either. Now I really regret letting this guy control my emotions for so long.

well i am going to say a little different than the above posts. maybe you should give it ONE more shot-and only one. But this time give it a time limit and don't tell him. say 2 months. at that time, evaulate the situation. If he is goinng to screw up again, it shouldn't take very long. BUT at the end of that time, you must move on for good if it isn't working.

you are enjoying the chase thinking he will change, he wont. Get on with your life with someone else that does not need tamed. There are men out there that will treat you right when you let them.

Listen to your friends and family. When EVERYONE has something to bad to say, you'd better pay attention

I actually have a different stance on this compared to the other girls since I know exactly how you feel. It's not that easy to get up and leave when you're honestly in love with someone, when it honestly feels right between you two but when other things come into the picture it makes you think twice about what's right and wrong.

Give him an ultimatum. If he really wants this to work then changes must be made, and if he truly loved you he would do everything in his power to make sure they are. I'm sure your friends and family will learn to accept him once they see the effort and how genuine he is. Let's face it, after all the stupid things he's done who wouldn't hate him? But there's hope for change, and over time if things go well I'm sure they'll warm up to him. It's just a matter of him doing it or not.

So good luck.

Ok I don't think it's just lust. Usually it's only love that makes us so foolish. That doesn't mean you belong with him though.
Definitely don't do it. It may be painful & difficult, but you owe to yourself to give yourself the time to get over him and then the chance to find someone better. Learn to love yourself and take care of yourself first.

if you have found reasons to break up with him before, chances are, the same will happen again.

I'm in a very similar situation. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, three breakups in that time. He would always want to spend time with his friends and have fun. It came to the point where I just had enough. I was sick of the "I'll set two days out of the week for you" NO WAY! I knew I deserved much more than that from someone. I knew I deserved way more so I called him, told him to have a nice life and didn't speak to him after, It was very hard. However, it's exactly what he needed for a wakeup call. It showed him (since he broke up with me twice before that and always had me on hold) that I was taking control of the relationship and myself. He came back a month later begging for another chance, I said there would have to be some serious changes. I'm not going to lie though. It's been a year later and my family still feels very uneasy about him, his friends are creeping back in the picture and fights have been happening. The point of this post is that you deserve way better and if it takes 20 breakups, you will eventually learn he won't change and then you can move on to someone who will treat you right, until then waste your time with him.

I don't know the whole story, but can you blame him for not wanting to spend time with your family when your family doesn't approve of him? Even if they have never expressed this to him directly, he can probably tell. And a lot a parents don't think anybody is ever good enough for their child.

I think you need to stop listening to other people and make up your own mind. You know this guy better than anybody who's trying to give you advice. You've known him the longest, and you've lived with him. So think hard about your relationship, without letting yourself get distracted by what your friends and family think. How do you feel when you're with him? Does he make you feel safe and loved, or insignificant and ignored? Can you trust him? Is he thoughtful and considerate of your needs, and respectful to you in your day-to-day lives? If the answer to these questions is yes, get back together and family be damned. If it's no, then chuck him. It's that simple.

People very rarely change, so unless you want another two years of sitting home alone, I suggest listening to your family and friends. They can probably see what you are too in love to see... you deserve better. If you really think he's changed, go for it. Otherwise, you're just wasting your time and putting off the inevitable.

It sounds like just a lust relationship that you should get out of. Your family's opinions shouldn't be a problem, because it sounds like you agree with them but just can't admit it to yourself yet.

I would bet my bottom dollar he cheated on you with that girl, if not others.

Get out of the relationship for good - you know it's what you should do.

I agree with most of the gals here. I've been there done that. I learned that guys like THAT don't deserve to have me. Do yourself a favor and dump him. Save yourself the heartache, believe me, it's not as bad now as it will be when he dissapoints you again and your parents say "I told you so". Sometimes, momma knows best. And btw, your friends know you better than this boy, so please listen to them, that's why they are friends.

Often the people in your life can see things more clearly than you can. Ditch this one fast.

i've gone through the same thing before. they may not like him, but in the end only you can decide what is best for you. sometimes we just need to learn from our mistakes.

Seems that your parents and friends are right. There's something not right about him.
You also know it and feel it.

Even as bf, he spends more time with his friends than with you and people you love (family and friends). What kind of future do you expect to have? If you plan to have a kid, I don't think he would be a supportive father. Seems like he isn't interrested in family at all.

don't waste anymore time on him. parents especially moms tend to be good judges of character. there's someone out there who you wouldn't want to live without once you meet them- don't just settle

honey, he doesn't sound like a great guy to me. love isn't enough to make a relationship last and actions speak louder than words. clearly, he knows his talk, but he doesn't walk his talk... haha, talk about a million cliches in one sentence...

I tend to agree with the majority here. He will behave for a while but he won't change in the long run. He's made it clear that you and your feelings aren't a priority. You deserve someone who respects your feelings.

You may need more distance from him to see that more clearly.

p.s. your fam and friends are probably right about him.

Go with your family and friends, no relationship that rocky can be healthy, and it's probably not worth it.

I agree with everything popgoestheworld said. Rule of thumb: When *everyone* hates your boyfriend, that's something you should pay attention to.

This guy sounds like he has two MAJOR flaws and these are the deal-breaker kinda flaws. First he seems like he wants you when he doesn't have you. MAJOR red flags should be going up here. This is a form of control. Remember one thing, you are NOT a toy that he can place on a shelf and then dust off when he's ready to play. Putting your family and friends' opinions aside, YOU already know he's no good or you wouldn't have broken up with him twice! SECOND, he is extremely selfish and wrapped up in himself. If he truly cared about you, then he would not only make time for you, but knowing that your family doesn't care for him, he should be making all of the effort possible to change their minds--NOT PROVING THEM RIGHT!

All of this said...I know this because I went through an identical situation. With my ex-, life was all about him and on and off for 7 years. Then one day I was like OH HELL NO I ain't your toy. This sounds cliché, but there are other BETTER fish in the sea. Then there's my husband, my parents and friends, didn't care for him AT ALL. But after three years of making sure they all realized who he is really is, he won them all over. People can misjudge, but a person who truly loves you is willing to fight that battle not sit back and do the easy thing and avoid the situation.

Lot of good feedback above.
It always surprises me when people go against feedback they receive from peers and parents - everyone can't be wrong but you.

Relationships are about being together, not about waiting to be together - if he really wanted to be with you he would be.

You have been given a fresh new opportunity to use this lesson to move forward to date someone who is more mature and loves you.

I've been in a similar situation, my parents and friends HATED my boyfriend for no reason (at least that's what I thought).

Even though we were allright, he treated me well and all and I thought I loved him, I couldn't forget what my family thought of him, and decided they had to be right, so I broke up with him.

I realised later, when my broken heart started to mend, that he had lent nearly all of my money without even thinking about paying me back, he ruined my self-esteem and generally were really wrong for me, as my parents had said.

As annoying as it is, your family and friends know you, they see you more objectively than you see yourself, and they want all the best for you and nothing less than you deserve.

Do yourself a favour and dump him, your life will be so much better, and there's always someone else out there who can appreciate you and treat you like you KNOW you deserve!

Love,

Silje,

now fiancée to lovely, clever, caring Man with capital M

Why are the ones that are no good for us always good in bed?
But seriously, you should be with someone who cares about YOUR happiness and does some things about it

If you are really still in love with him and you want to be with him, then please just take it very slowly.
Give yourself a chance to determine if he's going to be the same old not-so-great BF you had before, or if he's truly learned to value you.

You are already asking yourself if it's just a "lust relationship", a powerful physical connection isn't enough for a successful relationship - however much we wish it was.

you need to remember something very important: the people who really love you (your family and friends) will never disown you no matter what. THEY love you. And, keep in mind, they know you the best because they have probably known you a heck of a lot longer than this guy. They are only looking out for you.

It's my own personal experience that when all of your friends and family hate they guy you are with, they are often right (there are exceptions of course, but I am speaking from my own experience). I was in your shoes. He never hung out with my family, he was emotional and mentally abusive, he wrecked my self esteem, he ignored me, and most importanly, he isolated me from my own friends and family (this very slowly progressed over 8 years). By the time I finally looked inside myself and really thought about what mattered most to me and what I wanted (it was NOT him), I realized that my family and friends were right all along (although I loathe to admit it LOL).

I wasted 8 years on this guy, you don't need to do the same. At the end of the day, you need to know that you deserve your "perfect guy". The guy who is your best friend, who you can count on no matter what, who goes out of his way for you and your family and friends, and who treats you with respect... and when you find him, you'll want to be the same to him.

Good luck and trust your instincts (and loved ones). They will not fail you.

You family and friends love you and want to see you happy. They have no reason to lie to you. This guy, on the other hand, does. How exactly did this girl get your phone number? Why would she make a false claim that would just piss off the guy she is suposed to be obesessed with?

Personally,, maybe it's time to move on..your family and friends love you and they are just trying to protect you. Maybe you can't see those things that they see because you love the guy, but always remember that it is still your life and that no one can dictate to you whatever action you should take. but remember!you can't blame anyone but yourself if you choose the wrong way..Goodluck and I hope you'll get through this soon..

It's a very old post that Im commenting on, but I just had a similar situation, and then I googled up for "my family hates my boyfriend" and landed up here! but I must say, I have already taken the decision (twice) .. I backslided once since he convinced me with all the sweet talk that he'll take care of everything and make it right this time, and I decided to give him a last chance. But alas, the very next day he and I had an argument and he expressed that he dislikes my family and that I am so like my mum. Well, yeah, I cut the cord! My friends and fam helped me realize that I don't have to be in it just because I told him I'll never leave him, when I know it's not right, I shouldn't go on with it. He ignored my everytime i went shopping with him, he would go on shopping for himself, literally not caring if i didn't get a single thing for me, while he has sh*t loads of stuff for himself in his hands. He says something and does something entirely different. My first relationship, out of sheer stupidity and may be the fact that my roommate had a boyfriend and was very happy and i didn't have ne. But now my only aim, currently, is to forget all this pain I've just been through, it wasn't for even a year, actually it was a small span of time, but me being me, got emotionally attached. Now that I just, as in yesterday, ended it, I have to have suggestions to leave it behind. My way too frank roomie made me feel guilty of the whole thing, and she said the nice guy i'll end up with would feel bad that i got close to a guy before him and how she's better than me for waiting to be with the right guy. that was a little harsh on me and i couldn't sleep all night, shed tons of tears, had terrible headache and in the middle of all that did my assignments. suggestions/comments?