In some ways, this is a trick question, because if you're not emotionally intelligent — defined very broadly as someone "particularly good at establishing positive social relationships with others, and avoiding conflicts, fights, and other social altercations" — you might think you are anyway!
But October is Emotional Intelligence month, and it seemed a good time to remind people, as Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman claims in his book subtitle, that "it can matter more than IQ." We've all known the brilliant boss or friend who had a horrible temper or little ability to empathize and couldn't figure out why, in the case of the boss, no one ever stuck around for long, or, in the case of the friend, people had to break up with them they were so toxic.
Some traits of emotional intelligence?
1. Having the ability to accurately perceive emotions in oneself and others.
2. Using emotions to facilitate thinking.
3. Being able to understand emotional meanings, being sensitive.
4. Being able to manage emotions.
So if you're paranoid everyone's out to get you, or that everything someone says is a perceived slight justifying angry outbursts, but nothing you say or do should bother others . . . you might need a higher EQ. (Some believe this can be worked on, others say it's inborn.)
Sandro
O'Neill
DKNY
I definitely have emotional intelligence... well, based on the fact that I always empathize with others and have never had a bit of "drama", even when i was in middle school or high school. I always had a few close friends, but I never had any enemies.
1Same here, romantique.
2I think, according to this definition, I could use some help in the emotional intelligence arena...I'm a bit of an emotional mess, but I'm at least aware enough to admit it!
3I think I'm pretty emotionally intelligent. Although, I do struggle with #4 sometimes.
4Sometimes.
5I am definitely emotionally intelligent, it's just a switch I have never been able to turn off. I have always understood people and their feelings, and have always gotten along very well with people.
However, I do think emotional intelligence can be correlated to how personable you are. If you're not a people person, I think your emotional intelligence probably isn't as good as someone who is.
6I went threw a period in my life when I was emotional mess. I recognized it and made changes. It took 2 years to get back to my fully emotional stable self.
7To an extent. Sometimes I'm too absorb in my own emotions. Not that I don't recognize the emotions of others. I get a long with other people fine, but I'm really not a people person.
8I voted no considering there are times when I just don't understand why people are being so emotional over the most ridiculous things. I'm not much of a crier and I am very reserved on the outside when inside I can be so happy ( I get it from my dad). I am an empathetic person though and I am usually one of the first people my friends and family call when they need guidance or just an ear to listen.
9I read this book a few months ago - its pretty good - just skip the prologue. I reccommend it. I think everyone should read this.
Its not about how "emotional" you are but how you recognize WHAT you are feeling and how you deal with it - and why. Also, how you interact with others - how you recognize cultural/group norms. (Examples vary- why someone would bring a gun to school and shoot another person for disagreeing with them; or why people cannot handle breakups, or don't get along with coworkers.)
You know when you meet someone and you can't put your finger on it but you know they are "socially awkward"? Thats alot of what this book is about. It explains how this evolves in a person.
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