I remember being so shocked the day my own mother called me out for being selfish. I was totally being a little brat to my best friend. Anyway, now I'll always be just a little paranoid about being selfish and unkind towards other people, especially people I care about. I think most people don't actually mean to be mean, and sometimes you just have to step back and look at your actions from another person's point of view in order to understand how you might have accidentally hurt someone else's feelings.

Oh yeah. And the truth is, I sure have been.

It's something I've really worked to change. I try very hard to state my opinions as opinions, and I try to remember that my point of view is not the only valid one. I think I've gotten better, but I am sure I still fall short.

To me, I had to learn that there's a real difference between speaking your truth and beating people up with it.

yes, and it's true

i call myself mean sometimes when i know what i'm saying is b*tchy

yes, but only after i have said something that is mean.

Yes. If people think I'm mean then so be it.

My teenage daughter.....so I'm not sure if that really counts.

Nope. I've always been too nice.

not mean, but too negative. not everyone can be happy all the time!

I've been the perpetual too-nice girl too, but to my sister, to my mother, I've been a real b*tch. I also got a slight superiority complex for a while...oops.

My boyfriend actually, haha.

Yes, I am a little mean sometimes. I think it's because I'm mostly a nice, quiet girl in public. Only those lucky people closest to me ever see my mean side. They will tell you that I can be a b*tch when I want to be, and everyone else will laugh at the thought.

When my boyfriend calls me out on it, I can usually acknowledge that yes, I am being unreasonable, and I realize that I just need to chill out. When I stop being so abrasive and make an effort to be nicer, my aggression goes down, and I am nicer.

No, not in a serious way.

sure I have, and I wouldn't deny it... it's all a matter of perception, both good and evil, so if anyone thinks I'm mean, I can't really argue with that.
after all, I always say: I didn't come to this world to walk the path of conciliation.

same as Pistil. I'm only mean to those close to me. I don't mean it personally, im just less conscious of my demeanor around them.

I've never had anyone come out and say "Beth, you're mean" but a friend of mine thought I actually hated him freshman year because I would say a lot of b*tchy things. But I didn't really hate him, I actually thought he was awesome, it was just how I acted. Like Pistil and TidalWave, I'm only mean around/to people I'm close with.

Well.... I am mean. I'd be much more insulted if someone called me nice. I'm just not gunna take crap from anyone, if that makes me mean, so be it. I'm damn proud of it.

I have been told that I was mean by really close friends. But then when I've explained that I just am one of those people that don't sugar coat things when people need to hear the truth. Or lie for you because you ask me to. I'm blunt. Not mean.

No offense but women in america are hateful to each other, i mean, what's all the envy and hate about. Quite honestly i think men are far better to women that women are to other women here in this country, We should be backing each other oout

I wish I could say that I'm the nicest person in the world, but I'm not. Once my patience runs out, everyone around me is doomed. People in general piss me off (bad customer service, other divers, people that insist that their weight gain isn't their fault, people who can't handle their kids...the list goes on) And I tend to encounter these things on a daily bases which put me in a terrible mood, so I tend to come off as a mean person.

I have noticed that as a woman, anything that is less than typical gets you called a b*tch or mean. I have my own opinions, and for stating them, I am a b*tch. I went through a period where my depression was at it's worst and I kept to myself for the most part, and I was called a b*tch. Many more times I have been called a b*tch -- like, for reading a magazine on an airplane and not joining in on the conversation.

Do I think I am a mean person, no, but I can be. I am always very civil, and express my thoughts in a way that is true to myself but will not hurt anyone. I am never an outright b*tch to people, though.

My 4-year-old daughter told me I was a mean mommy when I told her she couldn't have another cookie. I am thick skinned though. I can take it!

I got called mean constantly at my last job. I wasn't mean, I just wasn't a pushover. I worked on the help desk as a supervisor, and instead of actually doing their job and reading the information/looking it up, they would just call for everything. We were constantly in queue with reps which put actual customers on hold so that they could ask stupid questions.

We had an online fact sheet for every client that listed all of the information they needed. While rare cases came up that even help desk members conferred on, those were perhaps once a day out of 3 or 4 hundred calls. Each call instead of immediatly giving them the answer like every single other help desk member, I would guide them to the online fact sheet so they could read it for themselves. This in turn labeled me as a super b*tch who was "unhelpful". When I started, I brought a notebook with me and i wrote down every single piece of pertinant information. This was before the online fact sheet, so every night i went home and typed it up, and printed it for a folder. I don't get why people are so incredibly lazy, and feel the need to bash others to make up for it. I ended up being "reported" so many times, that my boss actually told me that even though they were just being lazy, just to give them the answer immediately becuase the reps didn't like having to go to the online fact sheet. The woman was actually supporting their laziness.. ridiculous.

FitSugar! You ROUGE!

of course. i bet i get this on here too. i'm quite radical.

I'm mean every now and then. I spend most of my day at work being super nice to people even when they are less than nice to me. When I get home sometimes I just let out all the mean that I've been forced to hold in. I call it venting, others (my family and friends) call it being mean or b*tchy.

Yes, but that's just because I tell it like it is. Not that I never do it but I certainly don't sugar coat information nearly as much as my friends do, so when my blunt self shows up it can sometimes come as a shocker. Sugar coating to me is misinformation then you have all these people running around believing and making decisions based on misinformation. That's not cool.

im too nice. even when I'm mean to someone I apologize right away. so, no.

i used to be too nice. but then i got sick of people walking all over me. so i got a case of the means. oh well. i'm just honest. i'm not mean to be mean.

Yes, but whatever.

Funny you should mention that, I had a sort-of-mean experience the other day. I wrote about it here http://tori927blog.blogspot.com/2009/10/comfortable.html and don't feel like retyping it, but I don't think it's as mean as what some people think of when they think of mean, but I usually try to be as nice as I can to the people I deal with on a regular basis.

no

Today? No.

All the other days, probably more than once.

Yes. The waitresses at work remind me daily that I need to be nicer and stop being so mean. I tell them that's why they're out front and I'm in the back. 'Cause I'm mean.

I have my b!tchy days to be sure.. but for the most part, no, people actually tell me I need to be meaner haha.

It sounds like a lot of people here have been called mean, or see themselves as occasionally mean.

But, I think all of you are really nice people! I love talking about politics with people on TresSugar! I think it's, in general, a very polite and respectful conversation! Have you been to other political sites? It's an unpleasant screaming match.

I think you're all great people!