I've had a couple of friends with benefits and it always worked out grand. I was too busy to have a real relationship but I still needed to get laid to keep my cheery disposition

not a fan of this idea and it would never be something I could do. I need a deep commitment before I open up in that way.
But since sex isn't important to me, I can deal without having it.

I'm at a point in my life where I don't really want or can handle commitment...I'm hoping it's just being 22 and it'll pass, but in the meantime I've had a couple of friends with bennies. I kind of have a more typical guy's mentality about it and don't get emotionally attached (beyond typical friendly feelings and concerns, that is) and just enjoy the sex for what it is. The only issue that comes up is when they get girlfriends...and even then it's not like I'm hurt, just disappointed that I have to do without, lol. Again, that might sound slutty or callous or whatever, but I'm not in a place in my life to have a healthy relationship and I'm human. Not sure that made sense.

I've never had this before but if it works out for both parties, I say why not?!

I have tried this and found that it's not possible for me to remain completely emotionally unattached from someone who I'm being physical with.

So for me, it's a bad idea. But if others can do it, more power to them!

if you can do it great but in my mind once you've fooled around you aren't "friends" you are something else... so jsut aslong as you understand that you realtionship has morphed.

Didn't work for me, I got emotionally attached, not a good idea!

What if you get pregnant? That is always a possibility when you are having sex, so if you are having casual sex with no commitment you could end up in a really sticky situation. I personally can't have un-emotional sex, so this is a big NO WAY for me.

I've had friends with benefits plenty of times and it usually works out fine. Right now though, I messed up because my F.B.(friend with benefits) is my best friend and our relaionship already had too many feelings involved.

I approve in F.B.s but not with someone soo close!

Another word of advice... the issue of an "accident" occuring should be discussed as far as... what if you get pregnant from your F.B.? I had a friend who was in that situation but she aborted it! It just always made me think of the consequences (if the condom broke) because I personally don't believe in abortion as an option unless I was raped or something.

I always dicuss this with my F.B.s and let them know that I would keep the child regardless if he wanted to be a part of it or not... if he didn't, I'd take care of it without him. We could still be friends if that's possible, but I would just tell people its my child and I wouldn't tell them who the father is. I believe if a man doesn't want to be there from the beginning and you know that, and you decided to keep it. He can't stop you so you take care of it on your own.

P.S. This is coming from a single mother who has done it on her own already!

Totally depends on the "friendship," really. I've done this very easily with a guy I knew for years, though the sex was pretty blah. It was just something we'd end up doing when we were bored and all our friends were paired up romantically, on trips mostly. He got a girlfriend and I got a boyfriend and it was as if it had never happened.

I could definitely see myself becoming attached if I didn't know the guy that well, though.

It never worked for me- there always ended up being feelings- and once the guy turned into an abusive stalker type. Im sure some people could do it and it work out fine, I was just never one of those people- dont have to worry about it anymore though- since Im married now.

It can work as long as you both are realistic in your motives. Plus, as with any relationship, communication is key...this means friendships, too....

I think that as long as both parties are honest with each other and realistic, it can work.

I had a friend with benefits (I called him my "horizontal friend" )for few years in my late teens/early 20's, and the whole relationship was fantastic - no pressure, no jealousy, just fun.

That being said, it's definitely something that can get complicated. I had a friend who began a "friends with benefits" relationship with a guy she had a huge crush on. She kept hoping that if he slept with her, he'd fall in love with her, and when he didn't, she got REALLY hurt.

i just posted a blog of a similiar situation that i would love to know what everyone thinks soo please ck it out and give me some advice...

I think the general concept of a friend with benefits is great. But in my experience, one person ends up getting attached or feelings get involved and then it becomes more than just sex. And then, it would have just been easier to keep using my vibrator. LoL

Bad idea - had my first ever real experience with this over the spring, and I have to say, I think that as people get older it gets a lot harder to do something like this. Some have different priorities in life and yeah, just using my vibrator would have saved me a lot of trouble!

It can definitely work if both people are on the same page. I've had a few of them, and it definitely can work. Definitely don't want it to be someone who you are really close with because it can go horribly wrong, but it you are both single and not wanting commitment, then go for it.

it CAN work if you communicate beforehand your intentions and remain emotionally unattached. however, once feelings come into play, it's not such a good idea anymore unless you/the FWB is strong enough to endure the hurt that may come.

Hmmm...not for me, and I think that in the long run folks will get hurt. Not now, but maybe later on down the line.

Just to throw this out there - Friends with Benefits can happen between MEN & MEN and WOMEN & WOMEN. I've had many female friends who thought that it wasn't as big a deal to have a tryst with another girlfriend because they thought that it didn't count and that they wouldn't get hurt. It seemed that got a LOT more complicated than they ever dreamed it would!

bad idea!

I say that if you are with a person who is on the same page and you both don't want it to get too serious than why not? I personally am a hopeless romantic and don't like surface relationships, but some of my friends love these types of relays.

I am against it. I have not tried, it, but my beliefs contradict this whole idea.

The problem isn't BEING on the same page, it's STAYING on the same page. I think it works on an extremely temporary basis and must be completely mutual... which is rare. =\

i'm with ninjastarlett - staying on the same page is the key. i've had one fwb and it worked out well, we were somewhat friendly, got drunk and slept together and kind of casually kept it up for a while (just every couple of weeks). he's eight years younger than me so i knew he probably wasn't into going steady and he knew i was just after fun. still good mates, just stopped having sex after a while and now i've got a steady bf (who's one of his good mates actually) and he's seeing a girl. worked out fine, just don't go trying to find love when it's just sex/companionship.

If your both on the same page and aren't wanting anything more then sure. The danger is if one of you starts developing feelings for the other or wanting it to be something more than it is.

DANGER! That is my personal opinion of the friends-with-benefits situation. I have never seen it work out well and I have seen it crash and burn from many different vantage points. I know that I have been hurt when I grew too attached and I know that I have hurt others. Also, once you add the benefits in, the whole friendship dynamic changes, whether you want to admit it or not. It is a slippery slope and one that I would like to stay as far away from as possible.

Someone will get hurt before its all over with!! Seems harmless Lol

I had one at one point and he just got hurt...course I was kind of using him for some other reasons....but I am older now..and dont think I could do it...

I think it varies between people. I've done it a few times with success and it helped me to not settle for somebody I wasn't compatible with just because I needed the sex/affection.

bad bad bad bad bad.

i think that it would totally effect the friendship and that it makes u kinda slutty. u really dont wanna be labelled as a person who goes around making out or sleeping, for that matter, with JUST anyone.

I think FWB is easier done for those who can be emotionally detached themselves from sex and the person. The attitude should be: Sex is just sex period. Absolutely no other feelings. If you can do that you can protect yourself emotionally. But again, FWB could infect you with a deadly disease that could kill you and it would be for nothing. Because if you are infected with a deadly disease from a bf or a husband, at least you would have died for someone who you have loved at one pt in your life but it would have been completely meaningless for a FWB except for the "one" bad decision you made.