Offer to help find a more appropriate outfit with her. I won't preach about how wrong ditching her is. You may be a positive influence on her. I get our embarrassment. You'll feel better if you keep plans with her and insist on having fun. People who laugh and smile are the most interesting people in the room; and the most approachable. This is a great opportunity to go and meet new friends.

I'm confused. You say you used to go to these events all the time, yet you were surprised to hear that they're primarily filled with models and beautiful people?

And if you knew other fat/homely people were going to be there, you'd bring your fat/homely friend. But you don't want to be the only beautiful person there with an unattractive friend? Because that would reflect poorly on you?

At least you admit it's horrible.

As for what to do...

I say that you should show your true colors to this girl and tell her you aren't bringing her. I mean, let's face it, once you get plugged into the scene and meet more attractive people who share your interests, you will drop her anyway right?

That my girl, popgoestheworld! Going straight for it, and saying pretty much what I was thinking.

Wow, pop. Well said...

Okay, this is the way I see it. You have an opportunity to do the right thing. You may FEEL one way but to act on it would be shameful. You are blessed to have a fashion sense and a nice body (I'm assuming this). You said yourself, this friend is very sweet and excited to go. Put your own selfishness aside, help her choose an appropriate outfit and take her with you. You are used to these events so you need to help her not feel out of place. Stay by her side and enjoy the evening with your friend. Don't worry about what other people may think about it. Allow your generous personality to shine through and people will still like you.

as much as i agree with Pop, i have to commend you for admitting how conceited and snobby you are (and how awful you feel about it...admission is the first way to deal with the problem!).

so if bringing said "fat friend" to a party = you having a horrible time, why bring her?

but i have to ask WHY bringing "fat friend" necessarily equals you having a horrible time? do you think people won't come up and talk to you if they see someone like her with you? also, its just one party so help her choose a more flattering outfit (since you've gone to these things before), take her, try and not be resentful of her and have a good time! and since you'll probably find out about more parties like this, go alone next time!

I am a former model and i have never treated anyone like they were beneath me because of their overall appearance.It's girls like you that make everyone else think that we are nothing more than a bunch of superficial snobs. You should be disgusted and really ashamed of your attitude. It sucks!!!!IMHO what's even worse than her supposed hideous outfit is having you for a so called friend....

You've already invited her, so consider this an act in inner strength building. I say bring her along.

wow, my head hit the bottom on this post it was so shallow. Have you seen whats in fashion, music, you claim to be a veteran of shows, but didnt know there were just "beautiful people" there?

I just want to call Shenanigans with this one.

It seems as though you are embarrassed to have this girl as your friend regardless of what she decides to wear to the party so really, you probably shouldn't have asked her to go with you in the first place.

Firstly, let me say that although I understand why you feel awkward bringing this girl, I think it is downright rude to un-invite someone unless they have committed some atrocious act against you.

That being said, there has to be SOME reason why you are friends with this girl. If she's not the textbook definition of "beautiful", is she funny? Witty? Intelligent? I'm sure she has some trait that, if exposed, will cause anyone with half a brain to fall in love with her. AND you.

And there's a more superficial reason to bring her, if you are convinced that she won't show off her better side: I read once that males find females more attractive when contrasted with someone less attractive.

Personally, I think you just need to get over yourself and your own insecurities and go have fun. At least you admit your superficiality.

I have been in the fashion industry since I left college in the early '90's. I have lived in NYC and done the fashion show thing and other events. I have taken many friends that do not fit the world that you think exists and we all had a grea time. I agree with the above you need to Get over yourself. You should have just go by yourself since you think you are so much better than your new friends. Why didn't you offer to go shopping with her and help her find something for the party.

Ok here's the thing. First of all, if you bring her then you will look better in comparison. Second of all, get over yourself! Why are you even friends with her? You're not dating her, what does it matter what she looks like. If you don't want to bring her, then don't. But usually, when you are friends with someone, it shouldn't matter what they look like. If that bothers you, then you shouldn't be friends with her at all. I say, dump her and go alone. If you're so cool, attractive, and into fashion, it shouldn't be a problem for you to go alone.

Jeez.. can you be more of a complete and utter bi*ch..?
If all your concerned with is looks and fashion, enough to think that way about a girl this is friends with YOU.. then you dont deserve real friends, you deserve more shallow people like yourself, so you can bag on them, while they do the same to you, behind your back. you need to tell this girl what you really think, so she can stop wasting time with you. your a horrible person for saying those things. that makes me sad, such shallow-ness in the whole... The way I see it, that girl is WAY more beautiful then YOU! HAG!

Honestly, you need to find new friends. Sounds like you are just using the ones you have and don't want to take them anywhere. Find friends that have your interests and will live up to your standard of dressing. I actually sympathize with you a little bit, but you have to understand that the first step in HAVING friends is BEING a good friend. Perhaps use the opportunity to help educate your friend on fashion? I honestly think you should go by yourself and find new friends that will be as into appearances as you seem to be-- I feel really sorry for your two "friends" right now.

I also feel like IF you take her, AND you treat her like crap the whole night, you most likely won't have her as your friend afterwards anyway.

I agree with the above. If you uninvite her then you don't deserve her as a friend and she's better off without you. I feel sorry for her because I bet she has no idea how you feel. If you were her friend you would help her find something attractive to wear and teach her about fashion and what looks good on her body instead of trash her behind her back.

I don't want to sound harsh, but good luck finding good friends in a new city with that attitude. That's not how you treat or talk about people. Seek shallow friendships if that's what you want, but own up to it. Also, if you hang out with mostly guys normally, this is something you need to work on anyhow - unless they're hoping for benefits, most guys can't stand catty and dramatic girls.

i personally believe that if you invited someone, you should follow through. Thats what a friend would do. I understand you may not have the same priorities, but maybe you can teach eachother. Show her what you like to do. Help her find a classier appropriate outfit. And the comments - you'll look prettier if you bring her - how horrible is that! what an awful thing. you just moved to a new city, you know no one, you need to make friends. everyone is different, and you have to appreciate that. You dont have to be best friends with her, but dont treat her like crap.

Wow...Your 'friend' deserves better, so I wouldn't take her because she'll probably be able to pick-up on your embarrassment and awkwardness at her being there- she deserves better than that.

Eventually your "fat" friend will see through you, and in the end you'll just hook up with some shallow friends like yourself, and you can live the life of going to shallow parties, until you're too old to go to them anymore, and they won't let you through the door. Your shallow friends will have moved on, and you'll regret your life. What does around comes around. Have fun !

maybe she is only going to help YOU out and you don't rock it the way you think you do. what a nice girl she is.

I'm kind of a larger person and I constantly feel awkward when I go out with my friends, most of whom are 'Perfect Tens' and I can kind of see why you would feel uncomfortable bringing your 'homely' friend. But like I always half-joke with them, I'm there to make them look even better.
I'm sure this girl realizes that she is no where near as stylish nor as fit as you are, and if it were me I would be so flattered to be thought of and invited to this kind of event, so she's probably feeling good about being invited. Also, if it were me, I would be excited to have some help from someone as stylish as you probably are to help me find an appropriate and flattering outfit. Just don't uninvite her because she'll guess the reasoning behind it and it will destroy her self esteem.

...definitely not drawing from personal experience or anything... :/...

I know everyone's giving you a hard time, but I think you asking this question means that your conscience is obviously struggling with it. That's a good thing. I hope you're open to the constructive advice that's been posted.

Take her with you! You said you would, so do it. Like others have said, help her pick out an appropriate outfit. Maybe make a fun day before you go - invite her to your place to get ready. Straighten her hair, help her out with some pretty (but natural looking) makeup etc. If she doesn't usually make such an effort with her appearance it'll make her feel more at ease when you both arrive at the party and are surrounded by chic fashionistas.

And I think you're under-estimating people a little bit. What do you think is the worst that'll happen if you show up with her? People will shun you? If they do, they're obviously losers and you don't want to be their friend anyway (right??).

Take her along and just concentrate on enjoying the fashion, and your friend's company. People will be drawn to a happy, friendly, confident girl who's having fun with her friend over an uptight, insecure, shallow b*tch any day.

Honestly, what's the worst thing that can happen? The only person who can humilate you in this situation is yourself.

I hope this girl realizes how much you are judging her and eventually drops you as a friend.

I second what DarkRayne, Vannuccia, emmyanne, et al have said: you have GOT to be the most shallow person I've ever heard of. do your 'friend' a favor: leave her alone and find new friends who are more to your liking.

or just let her wear whatever the f*ck she wants, and then you can be pretty enough for the both of you. DUH.

She's already apologized over and over, girls - she's asking for advice, not more insults.

Dayum.

i do not think that you deserve to have this girl as our friend. she deserves to be treated better than that! i can't believe that you are embarrassed abut her because of her weight! she is better than that. there is a reason that you have only made two friends it is because you are superficial.

you need to grow up and not worry about what the "beautiful people" think of your friends, (which, judging by the way you sound, you are lucky to have).

i am surprised how insecure you are that you can't go to an event by yourself, and that you feel the need to drag some girl that you don't seem to care about along.

GROW UP! there are more important things that the way someone looks or dresses.

Brownie points for admitting it!? lol... I think it's best if "Superficial" hangs out with other like-minded Superficials. Then you won't have to worry about fat...er I mean "heavy"? As you put it??.....*sarcasm*

Get over yourself as well as the superficial society you claim you are apart of. Treat this girl like you would want to be treated!

Wow, this is pretty bad. I think everyone else here hit the nail on the head. It's plain wrong to think you are better than someone else. Did you ever think that the friend was just acting like she was interested to go to this kind of party just so that she can get to know you better? Perhaps you should work on being a better friend. Also, it's improper to uninvite guests period.

If you're as confident as you sound, what's the problem with going alone?

What you said makes me really sad. I can't believe you even think that way. Your comments make you sound like you have some serious self perception issues. Regarding your posted issue, bring your friend, let her wear her outfit and don't be rude to her. You must be friends with her for some reasons. She'll probably be the life of the party and you'll wind up hanging on her coat tails. The best thing about having a friend is the ability to be who you are as an individual around them. Someone who's not going to try to change or ridicule you. If all the comments above don't make you seriously rethink your situation, then you need to stop being friends with those to girls because your obviously being fake with them and go find some beautiful stick figures to hang out with.

SCOOP4-I AGREE WITH BOOKS AND SHOES! Lol

I understand that it's difficult to be in a new place and trying to fit in, but either you tell that girl that you guys shouldn't be friends anymore because you have different tastes, or be a true friend and think of her first. Tell her that the outfit she planned would look out of place and it would make her feel uncomfortable. I'm sure you can figure out a nice way to tell her that. I don't think that a true friend would be embarrassed by her friends for wearing something silly. I'm sure we've all done it before. And then you should think of ways to gain some self confidence and know that people will value you for YOU and not for what your friends wear. If you're smart, and charming, and witty, then I'm sure hot guys will be all over you at the event. Good luck!

Say something about how you love the outfit but theyyyy won't because they're vain/ they won't get it/they're stupid/whatever. Sounds like the easiest approach for me. But, just because she's heavy doesn't mean she won't fare well. I know a few very beautiful and very popular large girls. As long as you've got the outfit nailed (maybe something black?) she'll be fine. But, if you still don't feel comfortable with any of our advice, don't take her. You'll find out the answer for yourself ultimately.

Sorry if I was no help.

Well and CONSTRUCTIVELY said, rosey_y and merymery.

As for the advice, I think you know deep down what the right thing to do is (especially since you clearly feel guilty about it). Take her, be a gracious hostess and friend, make considerate offers to help her with her outfit, and if she wants to go with her original choice, then go with smiles on your faces. I know that the old adage "Beauty is on the inside" tends to be scoffed at to a certain extent these days, but there are plenty of pretty people who will come and go on this earth. The women who are polite, friendly, intelligent and passionate about making the world around them a better place are timeless. A beautiful disposition NEVER goes out of style and highlights outer beauty. And if you look good on the inside AND the outside, then all the more power to you. Use that power for good and stop wasting your time about reputation and superficial appearances. Feeling the need to always conform and caring so much about what other people think will ALWAYS lead to failure. Follow the Audrey Hepburn line of thought (e.g. "For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.")

Proceed at your own risk. If you take back your invitation and approach your life in this manner, you're going to end up disappointed and with meaningless relationships of all kinds.

Everyone has made good points.
I'm not faulting you for how you feel, because you feel what you feel. No need to apologize for that although that's the right thing to do.

If people can't get past over how your friends look, then, it's really their problem, is it? But unfortunately, you do have a problem with how she looks too! I'd hate to be in her shoes, because I was a heavier set girl at one point in my life, all of my friends were the popular girls, not one time that they made me feel bad about myself for that, I've always given them respect and loyalty.

Karma is a b*tch, though. You'd never know how things can get when things change, you don't want to be in the disadvantage position to find your friends ending up dropping you just because they don't think you're fit to be their friends, right?

And if you think you're really good looking, there's always better looking people, and what if they actually looked down on you and be ashamed of you?
Think about it. What you want to do next is up to you, everyone has given their great opinion.

Take care, good luck.

The first thing that came up to my mind was: why did u even invite her in the first place?

I totally i agree with comment #9 by tenilled: It seems as though you are embarrassed to have this girl as your friend regardless of what she decides to wear to the party so really, you probably shouldn't have asked her to go with you in the first place.

if you're feeling angelic, go help her with the outfit, no such thing that that new girl FRIEND of yours can't look decent, pick something simple but chic, browse fabsugar.com if you're TOTALLY clueless.. haha

but then again....... please refer to comment #15 by princess_eab:
I also feel like IF you take her, AND you treat her like crap the whole night, you most likely won't have her as your friend afterwards anyway.

hmm, my first thought was WOw what a B*tch!
My second thought was Wow what a Shallow Egotisical B*tch.
and these friends deserve someone way better than you.

But after getting over the annoyance at you.
I looked at the issue.
I think as people have put it, if you are her friend help her pick and outfit and who cares what others look like there.

A well timed car wreak can change peoples looks easily.
Than what will you have Vanity and what?
Friends who look beyond what you look like
or friends like yourself judging on looks alone.

Yeah guess I couldnt get much past the first two thoughts.

It's not your friend's fault that she's heavy and she doesn't share your taste of fashion.

She tries to make you happy! That's the point.
She's a stay-at-home kind, but for you, she said "yes". Please respect and appreciate her.

What's wrong with being heavy, in the middle of supermodels? Maybe they wouldn't even mind about her. Maybe it's just you who's disappointed and ashamed of your friend.

It's almost as if you view the fashion world and this party as some kind of movie scene. Perfect actors, perfect bodies, perfect personalities. I have a hard time believing you're as seasoned with these "past parties" as you claim to be..

I truly hope you make the right decision. Not everybody is perfect, and I hope you never find yourself in the position of the awkward friend who nobody wants around but for the sake of pretend-civility lets join in anyway.

If you want better decorations, then buy some new ones.

p.s Usually I would say something about how the people you want to be friends with shouldn't base their opinions on you by outward appearances (yours or in this case, those you hang out with) but I think you're the one who needs a lesson in that.

I have to agree with the few people here who have actually said how good it is that you are conscious of how terrible this is....more directly: good for you for seeking out advice!

as for the actual problem: Although the person you are at this moment is shallow for thinking this, it sounds to me like your move might be the perfect opportunity to change?! If in the long run bringing this girl is going to ruin your "life" then don't. Instead take her out somewhere else more appropriate to get to know her better. this way there is no pressure to "dress the part," you can still enjoy the fashion, and maybe in the end you will mold into the city enough to realize that weight and fashion sense only go so far.

good luck and i think that it sounds like a step towards a positive change by just even asking for help:)

thats SUPER mean if you un-invite your friend just because she is a little heavier than you and doesn't have the same fashion sense. You're going to lose one of the 2 best friends you have right now if you keep it up.

How about suggesting you guys go shopping TOGETHER and show her what's more appropriate for the event. Say you've been to these before and you know EXACTLY what would really look good on her. Take her to some stores and help her find a great outfit and accessories. That way you guys are bonding (since it IS a new friendship), she gets some wardrobe help, and you won't feel so self concious at this event. Not only that, you'll be doing something you love~ shopping.

holy freaking crap, you suck. who the hell thinks about what their friends look like/wear? seriously?

Dude, as a FRIEND tell her the outift is hideous..make a joke if you need to and say lets raid your closet.

And as a FRIEND you need to take her...who cares what other people will think or if she's not the prettiest. Come on, none of that sh*t matters. Get over yourself.... sorry. I know thoughts like this come into everyones head.. that they may be embarassed by a friend. It happens sometiems. We are human but do the right thing.

whats so great about you? you act as if you are doing her a favor by bringing her along to your 'too cool' party. she is doing YOU a favor because YOU didnt want to go alone because you have NO FRIENDS. I dont commend you for posting this at all. You should be ashamed of yourself and you deserve to go alone. grow up

it's so rude to "uninvite" her. you did ask her in the first place. if you don't like what she's wearing, offer to help her find a more appropriate outfit. and so what if she is on the heavy side? not everyone is perfect and i don't think you should make a big deal of her size.

Wow. I'm going to have to be blunt here.

Get over yourself. You are obviously not a very good friend. If you were, you would look past her "imperfections" and help her to become a healthier, better dressed person, not bash her on the internet. Take her shopping. Show her how to flatter her figure. Be glad you have a friend who is up for anything and wants to help you have a fabulous time.

Like DeeDee said, what's so great about you?

By the way, I had this happen to me. I worked coat check at a club and invited some friends out one night, one of whom was overweight. When she arrived at the door, they wouldn't let her in, even tho' she was on the guest list. She calls me on the cell, tells me 'they said I wasn't on the list' and in the same breath the club owner is making his way towards me. He tells me that he doesn't want fat girls in his club. I told him, if he didn't let her in, he would lose me as an employee. I brought in about $500 a night at coat-check. so he let her in that night, but apparently he made a rude comment to her that she could come in for now, but not to come back. She didn't tell me about it until the next day. I immediately called the owner on his cell, cussed him out, and quit to work for another club that did allow my friends in. Two weeks later the *sshole owner called to beg me to come back but I refused.