My boyfriend likes it when I talk dirty to him. And somehow, in the heat of passion, I blurted out "Oh, my ass is so soft." I've never gotten over it.

Haha this is funny.
Just yesterday actally, my boyfriend and me were going at it with me on top and he was trying to look or something (i have no clue) and he banged his head SO HARD on my nose...it even made a sound. And even thoguh it hurt I laughted, I couldn't help it, and he laughed too, but he felt really bad!

ummm...how bout everytime i quieff? not sure how to spell it but it's that farting sound that comes from your na-na when there's excess air and it gets out. it always happens when we're really going at it too!

haha nichica I know what you mean!
It's so embarrassing, and you both kind of ignore but sometimes I just want to laugh my brains out like a grossed out sixth grader learning about sex!

I think the technical term is queefed.

ahh! i think everyone has experienced the queef.. it is really funny but i never laugh it would be a moment ruiner.

ooooowwwww.... lol i HATE when that happens.. cuz you both know what it is.. and its just like inside your head your like ooo man i cant believe that happened and you sooo wanna burst out laughing.. but you also trying to contain yourselves haha

LMAO!

Somehow my boyfriend and I end up laughing really hard every once in a while during sex. But now that I'm trying to think of what could possibly give us the giggles I can't remember.

I know we've talked about it before and we decided it's a sign that you feel really comfortable with someone if you can laugh with them during sex

pop - Me too! Once I got the giggles so bad I couldn't breathe, and we can never remember what got it started to begin with.

Sometimes my boyfriend makes it worse on purpose. When I start cracking up, he'll screw up his face and say very gravely, "This is not a joking matter. This is very serious."

With my ex, whenever our sweaty stomachs touched they'd create suctio and then when we pulled back, there would be a LOUD fart noise. It would happen with almost every thrust. We'd laugh so hard we couldn't finish, so finally we had to do some...uh...rearranging.

We normally laugh our way through sex anyway, we simply never stop joking around. It's very difficult to find things that we take seriously enough to not make jokes.

haha i know the queef too! it only happens to me during/after doing it doggy style.

so, there are 2 that stand out for my man and I--one night, he woke me up to some very smooth moves, and i moved to get on top of him at the same time he moved to geton top of me...and clocked me int he cheek bone haha. i didn't have a black eye thankfully, but did have a bruise and tender spot for well over a week!

the second one, and this is funny now but so wasn't then...someone had purchased edible underwear for us, and set it on his bed (not sure why haha) and so he put it on...and i proceeded to "remove" it. it was strawberry flavored...when i had finished, we turned on the lights, and the skin around my mouth, the tip of my nose, my lips, my tongue, my teeth...totally died pink. i couldn't scrub it off! I scrubbed and scrubbed, and rubbed my skin so raw i had to stop for the night. it was horrible! he kept laughing at me though, and eventually i had to laugh too. it is funny.

oh, actually, i have two more..haha...and then that's it i promise. when we frist started having sex, he didn't have a trash can in his room,s o he would get up, take the condom to the restroom, wrap it up in toilet paper and drop it in the waste basket. He rents his room from his sister and her family...well...twice, on different nights i guess he forgot to wrap it being late or tired or whatever...one of his neices stepped on it (EW!) hahaha, and the second time it happened the same neice was using restroom, looked over, and there it was sitting on counter. it all its glory. haha. they weren't young kids or anything, incase some of you were worried about that. they haven't let us live that down! haha

This was totally embarrassing and still is but here goes. Just a few months into dating, my boyfriend and I were in mexico on vacation. We'd had a long distance relationship for three out of the four months, so being in Mexico actually *together* was pretty new. So there we are, going at it in the hotel and we finish. I head to the bathroom and he yells to me, where's the condom. I said, I dunno, didn't you pull it out? Well as you must suspect . . . it was lodged inside of me! I kept thinking "OMIGOD! They don't have planned parenthood in Mexico! I'll have to go to the hospital." And there I was, trying to fish it out myself in the bathroom and I couldn't. I'd only been with this guy 4 months and I was mortified to ask him to get it for me. Anyway, I finally broke down and walked out of the bathroom naked with my head bent shyly and asked him to fish it out for me. I was just so embarrassed but afterward we laughed so hard. There I was, on my back as if getting an annual. Needless to say . . . that was a bonding experience and we've been together 4 years.

oh i was so going to say the queef too..but i didnt even know it had a name!!the first time it happened i was drunk and just ignored it! my boyfriend thought i was farting and not realising! doh! now we just laugh about it and shift positions!

after your married, nothing is embarassing, its all just funny.

Like when the cats watch you, or you fall off the bed, or make noises....

OMG...

So funny!

lady-T you are a riot!

And CaterpillarGirl.... LMAO...

The cats watching!!

Too funny...

yeah...so good to hear that others QUEEF all the time! except i can never contain myself. when it's really loud, my bf and i laugh our heads off but when its small, i just try and ignore it.

I don't know how this reflects on us, but we laugh a *lot* during sex.

QUEEF !!! ahhh i hate it!!

Oh lordie, I have a few, but I will limit myself to only those events that occurred with my fiance.

When we had been dating for maybe a month or two, I was going down on him in his bed when out of no where he pumps his hips a little more then maybe needed to be done....gags me, I vomit on him and his bed. At the time I was so embarrassed (even though I still firmly believe it was his fault for gagging me without warning), but now we laugh about it.

The second one, and I hope everyone pays special attention to because this could become pertinent - He was making me dinner one night (spicy alfredo with some hot peppers and banana peppers - this is important). I would like to stress that he did rinse his hands off under running water. Anyway, later that evening we're fooling around when all of a sudden I feel a rather intense burning sensation down there. It continues to get worse and worse and worse. Long story short I end up spending probably 20 minutes to a half hour in the shower having freezing cold water run over me trying to get the remnants of the hot and banana peppers off of myself. Lesson - if your man is cutting up any hot peppers, banana peppers, etc...make sure he washes his hands very thoroughly with soap and water before you proceed to the bedroom.

And lastly, this one happened just a few weeks ago - we're in bed, he's on top, humping away, when half of the bed frame just completely gives out (he had broken it a few months earlier by jumping on the bed feet first, but had 'fixed' it) and we both tumble down the now tilted bed...we ended up taking the mattress and box spring out of the frame and went back to business, but I just kept bursting out laughing, and eventually we gave up.

It wasn't in bed, but one time with my ex-bf, I was laying back on his kitchen table, he was standing up. I was sliding too far forward, so I went to scoot back, and slammed my head into the corner of his plastic napkin holder. OMG did that hurt. We kept going, but I was in pain for days!

Oh geez! I can't believe I am going to write this. My guy was on top and for some reason he started to get me to laugh really really hard and well, my butt was in the air and I let some of that air go. He jumped off of me and started laughing. I felt my whole body turn red. I could only laugh and say "Well baby...I think we reached that new place in our relationship!"

probably the time we had a headbutt in the midst of it or maybe the accidental karate chop to his member.

Oh boy, yeah, queefing. And for me there isn't a lot of space down there, so sometimes if he is going really deep and I am like, fullish, there is not enough room for everything down there so I have on occassion (rare thankfully) accidently let one go. I am always really embarrassed so I do the whole nervous laugh routine. He is better about it than me though atleast. But it is sooooo embarrassing.

Just before he left for Ottawa for the summer, my boyfriend took me to this pretty spot for a picnic. There was no one around and since fishing season hadn't started yet, we assumed there wouldn't be anyone there because it's about 20 minutes out of town. In the midst of it, I heard this noise, and saw a guy on an ATV headed towards us! I guess he saw the fire we had going and didn't see anyone there until he was pretty much on top of us. He left pretty quickly when he realized what was going on (thankfully we had the brains to take some blankets with us!). After he left, we started again, and it was all going well until more sight seers showed up. I don't think they saw us, but it was enough to get us to leave and go back to his place.

Hahaha, these are hilarious!!!

I was having sex with this guy, who has an identical twin brother (that I had also slept with a few months before), and his brother walked in on us! Awkward, to say the least, but a hilarious story to tell now.

It was Valentines day a couple of years ago and I lit candles and put them on the bed stand and the hubby and I just started having fun. We looked up where the candles were and our cat had singed her tail fur in the flame! lol The funny thing is, she had no idea it happened and she was just watching the "show". Lol...we still laugh about it to this day.

Oh man, this was soooo mortifying. Okay this happened with my very first boyfriend, I was 15, and it was the first time I was going down on him. My fist time ever going down on anyone actually. So I begin and as you can imagine how horrible my skills were at the time. So Im struggling/suffering through this, and eventually he climaxes. It gets a little graphic from here....so all of the "juice" is now in my mouth...and obviously I have no clue what to do with it, so its just in there, tasting disgusting and Im doing all I can to not spit it out everywhere. AND THEN I feel a big chunk of something in my mouth....thinking that this "chunk" came out of him, I gag and immedietly everything sprays out of my mouth and onto his parents expensive sheet set (tsk tsk). As it turns out I had left my gum in my mouth (stupid) and forgotten about it.
It was pretty much the worst thing ever.

Hahah.. these are hilarious.

I was witht his guy once who (now that I know him as a dear friend) is so silly that when you see him making out with anyone you know that all he's thinking is "pop goes the weasal where's the ice cream truck yay". SO, anyway, we were in my dorm playing around and getting undressed. I was wearing a pretty nice push-up bra. He took it off, felt the padding in the bra, and put his hands over his mouth Home Alone style and said "OH MY! They're NOT AS BIG AS THEY LOOK! It's a LIE!!!" I nearly DIED from embarassment so then I smacked him with it. Fun times lol.

WOW you guys have some funny stories and i have one too
one night my boyfriend and i were doing grown up things and
i really had to break wind ..but i didnt want to stop that would just ruin the mood then i have to come back in the bed and start it all over a gain i didnt want that so i tried to suck it in ..
i guess a few minutes down the line it start getting good and he starts going wild and im just enjoying everything and forget that i had gas then PPPPOOOOOOOOOOoooooooop...i go on my man stomach ...
can we say embarassed ..i couldnt believe i just did that
needless to say i couldnt go on cause it reeked and my boyfriend was just sitting there laughing at me
i was sooo embarrassed but u know i really had to laugh too cause we both ran out that room ..lol
a piece of advice to the ladies..handle yo biz befo u lay it down ...
lol

o yea ...does anyone feel a bit embarrased if or when they gag from pleasuring their man....let us know

oh there are two things I won't ever forget:

1. He was on top then he tried pulling me so I can be on top but we were so into it that my head bumped his nose..it was very painful for him but we had a laught after that hahaha

2. The first time we heard the " vaginaa fart "..we were stunned and he even asked if I farted. I said of course not! It was my thingy... lol

prplegem21 - I have found that guys actually get a little more excited when they hear you gag. I told that to some friends who were embarrassed, too, and they said themselves the next time that they noticed their man was turned on by it. As long as you're not actually about to puke. I guess it makes them feel big or something

This is hilarious! I wish I had something unique to offer, but I only have a headbutt story. Not too exciting.

This was not exactly funny when it happened- but now I look back and just have to crack up. I had just taken up dancing again so I would get really bad leg cramps in the middle of the night. Well- I was going at it with my guy (me on top) and I tried this little spin move that I read in my trusty Cosmo. As I was spinning around on top of him my leg exploded in pain! I had to jump off of him and stretch on the floor in utter agony, tears running down my face... oh yes and completely naked. He had no idea what was wrong with me! I was so scared to try crazy tricks for a while after that one!

These are all so funny! Here's mine to add to the pile

The night that my husband and I got engaged, he had booked a really nice hotel room as part of the evening's festivities. So he had asked me to marry him earlier in the night, and we skipped over to the hotel, madly in love. Well, I suppose we were so elated about being engaged that over the course of the night we:
1. Lost a strawberry in my whoo whoo. (we eventually got it out)
2. Spilled champagne all over the bed.
3. and somehow managed to break the bedframe with all of our romping.
Needless to say, I don't think we're welcome at that hotel anymore, but we sure had a wonderful time!

SUprGrl923- I know about the peppers on genitals. The same thing happened to me, except I did it to him.

Mid-coitus, I bumped into the bookshelf above my bed and my alarm clock fell on my face and split open my lip. There was blood everywhere and I had a fat lip for a week! Anytime anyone asked me what happened, I told them I tripped and bit my lip, but the shade of red my face went told the truth every time.

I had my roommate walk in on us! She rushed in to grab something so she didn't knock (and we were dumb enough to not lock the door) and we scarcely had enough time to pull a sheet over us. It was kinda awkward since everyone knew what was happening...

Ohh my god these are hilarious!! U guyz r cracking me up! LOL
ok here's one from me, we wern't having IT but we were about to, we were making out really badly and he was on top of me rolling me around in bed when i fall out of the bed and i hit the floor and my side table really hard!! oh and also the lamp falls on my head!! man that hurt like hell.. it was totally his fault, i had tears going down my face and he was laughing his head off but at the same time trying to appologize, eventually i started laughing too.. he he good times!

One time, as the hubby and I were at the "you know point"... our dog jumped up on the bed, and then she peed on my foot. She was always jealous of me when it came to my hubby. We cracked up so hard over that..even though it was totally gross. Another one, is the time my hubby exclaimed, at the moment of you know what, something in Spanish. The funny thing is he doesn't even know Spanish. We both got a good laugh afterwards. He said he was so turned on..he couldn't help doing it. It was kind of cool too..he did have the accent down.

Okay so this one time...I was having, um, digestion problems and had to take laxatives. Gross milk of magnesia that I had to follow with orange juice chasers. Well I guess I took too much of it because I was on top and we went to change positions and all I heard was "OH MY GOD! What is that?!" I of course knew what it was and rushed the sheets off the bed, saying it was my period and oh I'm so embarassed. Then I made sure to wash him off in case he got suspicious.

Sigh.

I have 2 that are pretty good, although like a lot of you the queefing of course has happened.

Probably my all time story that I am known for from all my friends was getting caught having sex on the quad with my boyfriend at my college. This was about 3 years ago and we were really drunk and I for some reason made it a goal in my life to do it. So we were going at it and all of a sudden a bike cop came up. We pretended like nothing was going on, even though the wrapper was right there. She gave us a warning and told us "to take our activities elsewhere". I was scared sh*tless after that, but we went back to my dorm and finished haha.

And another story, one time my boyfriend and I were having sex and my dog jumped up on the back of his leg and began humping him. It was too funny. He was pissed but I kept laughing and we clearly stopped. It was too good though!

oh man me and my boyfriend always manage to get a good laugh mid-action. i have several stories..
one of course involves the terrible queef. it only happens when we do it doggy style-- one time, we were switching positions and the queef that ensued was downright obnoxious. the look on his face was PRICELESS. he was SO shocked. i simply couldnt help but crack up. we still laugh to this day about it!! another.. oh my i get giggly thinking about.. but we were feeling experimental one day and we love the shower so we decided to try "aquatic kama sutra" or something along those lines.. which was def. a bad idea! some how i ended up on my hands in the wheelbarrow position with water going up my nose.. needless to say it was quite a scene, and in the effort we ended up losing our balance and falling out of the shower butt ass naked like two wet rats. we were just rolling on the floor laughing. i havent laughed so hard since i was a kid. it was awesome. one more.. mid action, my puppy managed to somehow licked his no no place and from the shock he almost knocked me out unconscious.. i even saw stars haha too funny

One night in high school my ex and I were messin around and i had seen a package of pop rocks! So I told him that I thought I had heard his brother coming in the house so he went to check; and when he was gone I popped open the package and waited for him to come back!!!!!!! And when he did he got a big suprise and let me tell you if you ever try to do that make sure that everything is off of his member before engaging in intercourse cuz pop rocks dont feel to good inside of a female!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

Once, when I was very new to sex and therefore very adventerous, my bf and I got caught TWICE in ONE hour. I had decided that I really wanted to do it somewhere on campus, so we found a single stall bathroom in the main tower. Unfortunately, the bottom half of the door was that slated style you sometimes see in dressing rooms, and the top half was frosted glass. Looking back, I can't believe I was stupid enough to try it, but we did. And sure enough, someone walks up, cups her hands up to the glass to see if anyone's in there...we heard an "eeck!" and then she ran off.

You would THINK that would kill our ardor, but newbie me still wanted to finish, just not there. So we drive around for a while, and finally settle on this apt complex's multi-story parking garage. We pull into a dark corner of the garage, and, for added protection, hang articles of clothing on the car windows (not very effective, I might add). We start to go at it again, and everything's fine for a minute or two. But then! A girl walks into the garage, and sure enough, she's heading towards us. Turns out, she's parked in the car RIGHT NEXT TO US. It was hilarious (and mortifying), because the cars were parked so close, she had to manuever to even open her door. She studiously avoided looking at us, and I tried to cover myself with scraps of clothing.

And you know what? I think I maybe still let him finish after that.

I'm so accident prone! When I lost my virginity we slipped off the bed, he landed on my ankle and sprained it!! Then the first time my current boyfriend and I were together we were goin' at it so fiercely that we fell off the bed and I cut my arm (On what I hate no idea!) now there's a tiny scar!

About 2 weeks ago, I was fishing with some guys when one of them suggested that we swim to the other side. None of the other guys wanted to go, and I was ready to go swimming. I didn't have a bathing suit, so we both stripped naked and jumped in, thinking that we would be ok because there was no one else around. We swam a 1/4 mile to the other side and ended up having sex in the water because the rocks were too steep and slippery to climb on. When we finished, a school of fish started to swarm us, so we started to swim back. Everything was going fine until we were 3/4 of the way across, when a mom and her 3 little kids came down to where our stuff was. The guys on the shore started laughing, while we were horrified! We ended up having to swim over to the other side of the rocks, where we waited for 30 mins for the mom and her kids to leave. It was awkward but funny