I've been feeling depressed lately. My husband and I recently separated, and I currently have our young children. All around, we are broke. After paying the bills, I literally have about $25 left for the week which all goes to groceries. Lately, I've been really down. I'm feeling really burnt out, with the kids and the bills and life. I'm used to retail therapy when I'm blue, even if it's only a few dollars on a new shirt or a new book or an ice cream cone, whatever. I've always been very thrifty, never spending outrageous amounts of money but even now I can't afford to take away $2 from the weekly budget. I used to enjoy taking the kids to the park but lately as it seems one of my only options, it's been more of a chore than anything.
Any ideas to get me out of this funky mood?
[EDITOR'S NOTE: To be involved in more GROUP THERAPY, click here]
Azzaro
Vanessa Bruno
Fly London
Even separated, your husband should be helping financially with the kids. That's not fair to you or them.
1You know those days when you feel like your soul has been worked over with a brillo pad? Well, it sounds like you are having one of those. Being broke sucks! But it is not a reflection on what kind of person you are. If anything, it sounds like your skills with the check book and strength of character have saved you from being even worse off. Right now you need a break. You need to turn to a friend, family member, or clergy person for support. Is there someone who can take the kids to the park for you? You could use that time to lie back, close your eyes in a darkened room, listen to some soft music, and just let your mind empty. Think of it as meditation. Something else I do when I am stressed and burned out is to focus intensely on each mundane thing I am doing. If I'm driving I think "I am driving. This is how the steering wheel feels in my hands. This is how blue the sky is. Nothing else exists for me right now but what I am doing." It sounds odd, but it can help. Most of all, hang in there. And don't be afraid to talk to your doctor, too. If feeling down goes on for more than 2 weeks or is accompanied by sleeping problems, headaches, changes in appetite, or lots of crying, you could be depressed.
2Something else that is fun is to put on a goofy children's record so you and your kids can sing really loudly and dance a funny dance. Sometimes you have to trick yourself into having a good mood.
3I feel like the biggest hypocrite here because I suffer from depression and what I'm about to say is a HUGE help but I never do it.
EXERCISE. It's free, it's good for you, and the endorphins will pick you up. Just go for a jog or a brisk walk, or buy an aerobics or pilates video. Trust me, if you start doing it a few times a week, you'll feel better.
4I agree with the other three bits of advice, but I'm betting there is a lot you can do at home too. Why not call a friend and have a tv movie night? you can pop some popcorn and sit and gab. Also, give yourself an at home beauty day. You probably have everything you need already. Give yourself a mani/pedi. take some oatmeal and an egg and whip it together for a face mask. take a long bubble bath and you can use some baking soda or sugar for a scrub. cheap and easy but it will really pick you up.
Exercise REALLY helps. Force yourself to go and maybe find a friend to go with!
5Exercise is definitely a great way to feel better. The hardest part of working out, IMO, is getting the motivation to get dressed for it. Once you step foot outside, you'll probably be so glad you're doing something active!
Regarding your tight budget, maybe you could see if your husband or a family member could watch your kids a few hours a week while you get a part time job (5-10hrs/week)? That way, you can get out, meet people, maybe get a killer discount someplace, and make a couple extra bucks?
6Sticky hit the nail right on the head.I agree he should be helping you financially with your kids..... period.
7Apply for WIC
8Go see a financial planner to get your budget looked at, what can be eliminated etc..
get your husband to help more
Go do free things like walk in the park
Oh, oh - goto your local YMCA (based on your finances, it may be free for you and your kids)
You get your excersize in and meet new people
Get the kids signed up for lessons and you can get some alone, adult time too.
9you had better get an attorney if your husband is not giving you support for those kids. Look up the local legal aid society in the blue or yellow pages of the phone book-they do legal work for free etc.
10He is obligated by law to give you child support; even if it means garnishing his wages.
11Sometimes the most important thing to do is just simply count your blessings. You are blessed to have children that you love, a roof over your heads, and even $25 for groceries. Focusing on the positive instead of the negative often helps much more than people realize. You are the rock for your kids and they need a happy mom. Look at their smily faces and remember that there is so much more to life than stress and money!
12Post New Comment
Please share your opinion with our community, but make sure it is on topic and follows our Community Rules. We moderate comments and prohibit personal attacks, threats, spam, lewd images, or the promotion of your personal website.