Our friends at Em & Lo have listed the 10 rules of the pickup, some for men ("Never look someone in the boobs while talking"), but some which are addressed equally to women ("Do not wordlessly dry-hump a stranger from behind on the dance floor"). Damn! There goes my main move.
When I was an undergrad, I was assigned Venus in Furs for a literature and psychoanalysis class and was reading it intently at a cafe. Now, the book is an erotic tale about a man obsessed with a dominatrix, and the cover had an arresting image of a woman in a red fur coat. A guy kept walking back and forth past my table, and finally, when I looked up, he gave me a creepy look and said, "That is my favorite book. May I sit down?"
Needless to say, the answer was no, but that probably wasn't even the worst pickup line I ever got — just the one I can remember. What was the worst pickup line you ever got? What was your reaction?
Marshall Ward
Burner
A-Z Collection
Just the other day in a grocery store parking lot, this guy would NOT give up so I told him I was engaged. He goes "Oh, well that means you're getting married and you'll have to be good all the time. And I'm a good guy too...but together we could be bad."
1I was SO turned off. I just responded.."Uh, no thanks...I like being good..."
a guy came up to me and drunkenly told me i had a nice ass...i have many complimentable features but my ass isn't one of them. it's flat, and not only that, i was in a short skirt, so it was particularly not looking volumptuous that day. i was like, dude you didnt even look at me before you came over here.
2Omg, I too had an experience with an old, drunk stranger come-on...only instead of him complimenting me he started telling me about how "big" his "man-sausage" was. he was and if I wanted to see it!!! Ewww!! Needless to say, I did not ask to see his "man-sausage" !!!
3When we were in college, my friend and I went to a club. This guy came up to us (we've always since referred to him as 'Little Serpico' because he kind of looked like Al Pacino in that movie) and asked us if we "wanted to do some heavy running."
We cracked up, and still do all these years later. And we still don't have a clue what that meant!
4"Man Sausage" has got to be the funniest nickname for a wang I've ever heard! XD
I had one in a pub once, I was wearing a shirt which said "Zap!" on it, and a guy came up and said "Who're you zappin tonight?!"
5He got points cause he was cute, but he said it in front of all his drunk mates.
"Hey girl, what's your origin?" ...it didn't even make sense ::rolls eyes::
6"You have 206 bones in your body, do you want another?" I couldn't stop laughing.
7"Want to go have drinks with me?"
"No thanks. I appreciate it, but I'm married."
"That's okay. So am I."
Disgusting,
8I only have one question: Man sausage?!
9I was in a dark empty theater one time, I can't even remember what I was seeing, and some guy just came in and sat next to me. He tried to hold my hand and started talking about hanging out, dating, moving in to my apartment. At first, I figured it was a joke, but as he went on and on he sounded raving mad.. I think he was mentally ill and totally serious. I left halfway through saying I had to use the restroom.
10This one was said to my friend outside the bar, we couldn't stop laughing the whole night.
The guy walks behind my friend and says "Mmmmm, mmmmmm, if your A** was in a chinese restaurant, i'd order the PuPu Platter!"
11I had a guy come up to me and state that he was taking me home with him that night. Um - hell no - I have no clue who the hell you are. I told him to "f" off and yet he insisted on staring the whole night trying to make eye contact so he could mouth the words all over again. I hate cocky SOBs.
12My friend once got: "You hurt my eyes!"... English wasn't his first language. We know what he meant, but it sounded hilarious.
13"Nice watch. Want to go down to the beach and f*** on the sand?"
It wasn't even a nice watch. At all.
Ew.
14I've never actually gotten a pick-up line. Mostly whenever guys have "hit on" me, so to speak, all they've done is stare at me creepily. Reading your experiences, ladies, makes me realize that maybe I've been lucky haha.
15"Have we met before?" This would lead to many questions where he "tries" to figure out where we had crossed paths. I think it's a ploy to get a conversation started.
Usually, to thwart that tactic, I would say truthfully, "No, I think you have me mixed-up with someone else." I would say it with a smile.
16Are those Scandinavian cheekbones?
WTF... but my friends still laugh about it...
17"You are so HOT--you got me sweatin! I bet together we'd be Smokin' Hot."
I laughed and said..."I think you've been smokin somthing and it will never be me!"
18It was a great line that was used on my best friend.
We were in my car and these guys pulled up next to us and said to her, "So, are the rumors true - what they say about you -- that you have great legs?"
And she said, "um... yeah!"
They said, "Then why don't you come over here and spread that rumor?!"
Sooo bad, but so good.
19
AMY!
20No creative pick-up lines on my end, but someone once asked me to describe my nipples at a bar. "Big? Small? Pointy?"
21That's so hot, Tia! So friggin' hot!
22I mean, EM! That's hot, EM!
Em1282 
23"do you eat"?
24"yes"
"want to eat with me"?
While walking to the football game across campus, in a group of tailgating men one kept yelling out at me asking if I rock climbed. I kept walking and pretended not to hear it was so silly and he called me out on it! Asked why I was ignoring him and kept asking if i was into rock climbing. WTF doesn't even make sense and no I don't rock climb. Nothing about me that day suggested I did either.
25lol, aujah.. that's kinda funny. In so cal they seem to think cat calls and animal noises from 5 feet away are apropriate as well.. lol
26"Did you steal my calves?"
I think he was trying to compliment my legs... instead he compared my calves to his own big, hairy ones. uhhh thanks????
27I've had three really strange circumstances. First one: I was sitting a bar on a small wall waiting for my friends and ride (I was kinda asking for it, I know) when this guy walks over to me and says, "It looks like you're waiting for me." My response, "No, not really, but I guess you'll do for now." None the less, I left and he looked heart broken.
28Second: I was at a bar (noticing a trend) waiting for my friends when this super drunk Native American individual came over and started hitting on me because my necklace happened to be genuine turquoise I got from my grandmother. It lead to a really redundant conversation about his tribe and whatnot.
Third: I was at a bar (duh) for my birthday, and the live band (like always) made an off the wall lewd comment (they claimed I liked anal (ew)) and one of the patrons came up to me and said, "If you really do like anal, I will marry you right now." I didn't even have a comment. I just walked away.
None the less, I don't go to bars anymore.
I have had quite a few but the only one that comes to mind right now that was probably not meant the way it sounded (i hope) was when i was at a strip club (i know i know, it was just supposed to be a funny night though.) and a guy said to me "you should be up there you look way better than her. i'd pay to see you up there" things like that. and then bought me 5 drinks. at once. which I left on the table and walked away:P weird.
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