"Compensated dating" is a growing and frightening trend among Hong Kong's teenage girls. The term refers to the practice of requiring a man to pay a fee for a date that more often than not includes sex. Shockingly, many teenage girls engaged in "compensated dating" are not selling themselves just to get by — they're reportedly doing it for extra shopping money.
CNN tells the story of Sze, a young woman who would charge $350 for dates when she was 16.
Sze said she started compensated dating because many of her classmates at an all-girls school were doing it. She says she became jealous when she saw the designer clothes, bags and cosmetics they bought with the money they earned through compensated dating.
This story — which sounds a lot like, well, prostitution — is especially troubling because the girls are so young. But, assuming that a woman is of age and that everything is consensual, do you see anything wrong with women using dates, and potentially sex, as a means of income?
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this "growing" trend has been extensively reported on since the mid-90's. check out the movie "Love&Pop"..
1again.. if this is "news".. meh.
I agree. This trend has been around for some time, especially in Japan. I've seen some disturbing documentary and movies made based on this topic. It's all part of ignorant minds' strong desire for materialistic things. So sad. But if your friend has the latest miu miu bag, and you have no means of getting one to compare/compete, how else do you afford it.... having the prettiest hair just doesn't quite set the standard these days.
2Wasn't this big news when it was w/ Japanese girls? kogals, right?
3getting money for sex etc, has been around for hundreds and hundreds of years. This is nothing new and it will never stop happening. better get used to it.
4I don't have a problem with it...if it's regulated to avoid disease and underage prostitution. We sell everything else, and I don't think of it as any different really than pornography.
5As long as the woman makes it clear that she's gold digging, and there's a fool willing to supplement her income, no problem.
6As long as you are an adult, prostitution is not illegal in most countries. I know there are some undergraduates working as social escorts to pay their school fees & to earn extra $ to spend.
7this is exactly why my mom moved my sister and i out of hong kong when we were young. i still go back to hk every summer to visit my father and family, but it's just sad to see these girls do that to themselves, but it's mostly due to the culture that hk has developed in the past decade or so. the social life in HK is cut-throat and image is all that matters ...
8I have no problem with prostitution, but I wouldn't do it for shopping money. Maybe if I had loan repayments I couldn't make.
9wow i can't believe that some of you think this is acceptable. what happened to working hard for your money? prostitution is not working hard for your money, that's called the sleazy/skanky/cheap way of pretending to make it to the top. everything you buy with that money is just tainted.
10This is not a " trend" that affects only Japan. In my country, Colombia, it has become very popular for girls to establish sexual relations with important, older man in order to get what their parents can't or won't give them. The term use in my country is prepago, prepaid. It started with the drug boom of the 80's, at the time it was only seen in the entertainment world, now woman/girls ages from 14-25 are doing it.
11How sad. That is all.
12I'm pretty sure most prostitutes would tell you it's hard work. Maybe it's not solving complex equations or running a company, but I don't think it's easy.
13It's not that I agree with prostitution. I would never do it. I would never use the service, but there is a market for it. Where there's someone willing to pay for it, there's someone willing to offer it, whether it's a fair trade-off or not is between the two individuals who made that choice. I think a dishonest exchange, being used for sex or money, is worse.
14Re: Pistil and others...the thing is, it's not a "woman" making the choice, it's a girl. While these girls are making the concious choice to engage in this behavior, it doesn't mean that it's good - obviously it's harmful to their self-esteem, development and possibly their physical health too.
On a different note, I'm pretty sure I saw a "Law and Order" ep based on this topic once, with Hayden Panetierre, I believe. Leads me to believe it's happening with American teens somewhere too,.
15Wow. I have never heard of this. That is terrifying. Whether you are of age or not, getting paid for dates is hardly a path toward equality.
16Yeah, I'm sure it happens everywhere, whether its organized or not, or popular or not. I knew several girls as early as jr high, 12-13 in 6th grade, who were in relationships with much older men for money and gifts and would "date" their friends. Pretty sickening, but it's probably not going to ever go away.
17Marla Maples, Anna Nicole Smith, Heather Mills, selling yourself to get up in the world is not a new thing.
18This story is about girls, but Tres asked about grown, consenting women.
19Women have done this since the dawn of time, to get the jewellery, the car, the money. Do I agree with it? No...but I think you would be hardpressed to find a woman who hasn't compromised something to get what she want.
20you're correct, Pistil. Apologies.
21If a woman is of age, I think it's fine.
My problem is when it's under-age girls. It saddens me that teenage girls would take such lengths for "shopping money." It's one thing if the money is for survival (food, shelter, etc.), but it's a different matter if it's for shopping. Shopping is elective (read: non-essential). It's saddening that these under-age girls would value non-essential, material goods ahead of their own bodies. Geez.
22Well, I don't agree with casual sex, so I certainly don't agree with sex for money. But, hey maybe by the time you are ready to start a family, you'll have all those nice clothes, popular handbags, and the hottest STDs.
23The comments are ignorant, it's always assumed that someone is hurt by selling sex. It is hard work, and there's nothing wrong with it. We live in a nation where we say, if you sacrifice, you can get rich and live better, so sex is a sacrifice, for money. We should admire girls who want to give sex to hard up men who need it and graduate from college with savings vs. those who want to stay virgins and drop out, as I would have had I not done this. Girls these days just see it as another thing to do, so if you can have good sex for fun and sometimes it's not fun, you don't know till you do a guy, what's the big deal with having bad sex for money? Women may have sex with a hot guy and love it and mediocre sex with a guy who is more interesting for the 5 hours before 20 minutes of sex, it's not far to why not just get some money if it's not great. Money spent on/time/entertainment vs. cash can liberate her to spend the effort of the man on what she wants, which is maybe school, shopping, a car, savings, etc. The assumption that women are damaging themselves psychologically is paternalistic. We've all had sex we regret, why don't boys get damaged psychologically? Anyone tough can block it out and move on. Some women are fragile and are easily traumatized. some are tough and can handle it. It's no different than getting jumped and beaten up, many guys get beaten up and live a normal life, why can't a girl have sex, which is at least somewhat pleasurable, and move on? I've had sex for money a few times with men who offered. Sex is just a thing to do, I won't marry till 30 and am 22. It's very paternalistic and sexist. We're all the same. I have several friends who do this. It's just no big deal at my college. It's a cost benefit analysis. Would I rather stay home and do nothing or be paid 300 to have sex that is actually more fun than staying home and doing nothing? Gee, that's a hard one. Would I rather work 30 hours in a cafe and have a 3.00 GPA or 1 hour with a guy and have a 3.9 GPA? Another tough one? It's the free market, value is what a man will pay. I never will regret my decision and enjoy it. Grow up people. Get over the old rules, it is progress. The sexual revolution was 41 years ago. It's not money for nothing. Both people benefit, the man would spend more effort to get it for free and most men in long-term relationships are bored of the sex and the woman would work more for less. Both parties benefit, which is why prostitution is so cool. These girls are smart. I started at 20 and only dabble, maybe a guy a week, to be able to study more. I have a couple arrangements. For me it'd be hard to do a guy I found unappealing and luckily I've been able to choose decent-looking guys under 40 and reject those I don't find hot, but if I had to, I'd rather do an ugly guy than slave a way and get bad grades. That's me, but I'm not being hurt nor hurting anyone. I'm being helped and helping someone. Stop with the judgements based on old values that have no basis in fact. The bible's long since been disprove. Grow up and treat us all as equal, stop with the double standard.
24Wonder how a college dean would feel if he knew this type of behavior was popular at his campus...
25It's my body. My dean makes 200k and would probably take me on as a client, I'm a scholarship athlete and I see him check my legs out as I pass. On road trips I get offered 1000, and I can't work as part of my scholarship. Of course I take it. I get 500 at home from regulars. Are you kidding me? I have one woman client, better in bed than the 23-year old woman I 69ed with for a year for free. Mostly men. She paid me 1000 to give me pleasure. You should admire those ready to sacrifice to get ahead, not ask for a handout. And I enjoy it. I'm a healthy woman and it feels good. It's my body, not yours. Everyone is happy, the men are very happy, even the ones who pay 1000. COYOTE, call off your old tired ethics. They make no sense scientifically. And it is tough if it pays well, most women aren't mentally tough enough to handle it. I am. I love it. I make people happy and they make me happy.
26Wow, I get a lot of looks too, can you really get 500 for one guy? I'd do that. Even 300 isn't bad. I had a friend do this but she had a "boyfriend" but really he took all her money. If I could save it all I'd do that. I've never been offered money, not once, but I'm only 18, maybe I'm not hanging out in the right places. I get nerds hitting on me in such a passive way it turns me off. I love sex and have only had it with 2 guys in the past year. Where do I find guys so agressive they'll pay 500 if they see a nice pair of legs? Because I have a super body and am pretty cute. I work in a cafe now for less than 10 an hour and hate it. I'd rather give someone my best effort at pleasure for an hour and relax, study and jog for 29 hours than make drinks and sandwiches for people for 30 hours and drive myself crazy with no free time. I'm only in JC but this seems a smart way to go. Why is the tone of the article condemming it? I don't see the big deal. OK, so maybe they don't want it, but I've had sex I didn't want for nothing and had guys call me a slut and themselves a stud as if I did something wrong and they're heroes. Screw that BS, if they paid me I'd enjoy it and they'd be embarassed, I wouldn't have to be embarassed, they'd shut up because they'd be embarassed they had to pay for it. Plus I'll have some much needed peace of mind, free time and funds. I just don't get how this is a big deal.
27oh sweetie.. you're 18. you're still a baby. you shouldn't even be thinking about this.
when did having morals become an outdated biblical thing? sigh... kids these days
28See, that's what this chick is promoting to young ladies. Objectifying yourself for money is not hard work. You are accepting a hand out. Legs open up, here comes the hand out.
29Little girl: if you are having sex you don't want, you need to talk to someone. You are hurting yourself for the long run, and you don't even know it yet. You earn a lot more respect when you make a man work for it, rather than giving (or selling) it away for nothing. It's not healthy...
This whole thing is disgusting, so I'm going to return to where the most of people actually have brains... Why did I wonder to Tres?
30Hah, talk about making him work for it? First boyfriend I made wait 6 months. 2d 2 months but he was hot. Big mistake though, gave it up for nothing for months because I got kind of nympho for a while, then he left me and talked about me. Now I get my respect. I live in a small town in Texas and Senior year of high school this skinny nerdy kid who was real arrogant, always said Latinos didn't study hard enough, valedictorian, 4.0, went to Stanford. Anyways, I was one of the only girls who was hot, thin, and not a promise keeper, and this kid hit on me almost every day. I knew he had an obsession with me and I would dress hot just to turn him on then just dog him out when he tried to talk to me. Last week of school, I knew he'd worked all Summer previous year and part-time and had saved $2000. He tried to ask if I needed help with homework and I went to his house and told him I'd do him for 2000. He got all nervous, blushed, stammered, acted like an idiot, then said OK. I came over the next day dressed to kill, in a miniskirt, halter top, showing off my fine, tan body. I told him I'd thought about it but couldn't do it unless he had $2500. He stole some money from his parents and gave it to me. Then I told him just to make sure he knew he was my b he had to let me slap him as hard as I could 5 times. I'm a girl but strong, 5th one drew blood off his nose and I laughed at him while he cleaned up. I made him tell me he was a loser 10 times and lick my a-h for 30 seconds to prove it, just to be a b. No kissing, no bj, just he went down on me and then got on top, one position, one minute. I walked out with $2500 cash and laughed at him, told him he was pathetic. His dad found out all his money was gone and beat the shit out of him, he had a black eye the next day and his dad tried to come talk to my dad and my dad almost beat him down, my cousins chased him away. I got a real high off putting a boy in his place. He worked all Summer to be with me and I gave him no respect, he gave me respect. He worked so many hours and took a beating from me and his dad just because he was desperate. I win, he loses. I loved it. I can't get that every time, am 20 now, but still, I'm addicted to the feeling of power I get when men pay me. It also motivates me to eat healthy and run every day and go to the tanning salon, get waxed, just so I have that power over men. I have over $100,000 in the bank and a 3.8 GPA because I have more time to study than my friends, and I'm only 20. That boy still says I'm the best he had and he's glad he did it, sent me an email he's saving money for me.
The thing I don't get is why do people act like sex is some sacred thing? The fastest growing population is atheists, and most people who say they're religous live as atheists. You only live once, I'm in college and learned science. Men are scum, they deserve to be ripped off. I want kids one day but will marry a woman and get a donor, it'll be legal in 5 years, maybe I'll have to move to California but it will be legal in Texas in 20. Sex is not special, it's nothing, we have bodies for sex. All animals do it. It's fun. I don't drink at all, never do drugs, just it's no big deal at all. The people above say stupid stuff about losing respect? From who? All the best women in the country have had sex with 200+ guys, Madonna, Britney, Katie Perry, Lindsay Lohan, all the women who are the most successful. I don't understand it, you're basing it on the '50s where women were seen but not heard from. Live and let live, if you want to be uptight do it but don't judge other people. I'm a good person, work hard, help friends, and do schoolwork. It's harder work to have sex for an hour and study for 19 than to sit at a cash register gossipping for 20 and study 0. I have a 3.8, which proves I'm very smart.
31Wow, I'm impressed. I agree, you're not objectifying yourself. I mean so what? You objectify yourself at any job, it's about doing the least work for the most money. What does that even mean, objectifying yourself? Right on sister. I know a guy I might try to pull that on if I can gather your courage.
32Sweet, LOL. Yeah I agree, that's old people stuff, objectify, respect. Respect is good grades, everyone respects a promiscuous girl with a 4.0 more than a prude virgin with a 2.0 GPA any day. I haven't even had sex yet and am 18 but just cuz I don't feel like it yet, never met a guy I really liked who liked me back, there are some I'd have hooked up with in a minute if I could. Just do what you want, you old fools can't control our generation, we are free.
33Wonderful parenting bringing these girls up. I'm not old, btw. Just turned 24. Self respect is not an old person thing, it's an intelligence thing. Pathetic little sluts...
34You lost me with that one Brandy. Slut is a sexist word, women are called sluts, men studs, not fair. We're all equal and we all have needs. It's a double standard and sexist to use that word. I think people make choices, I wouldn't make that choice, but it has nothing to do with parenting and shows no more or less self-respect. Is being a garbageman self-respectful? We all make personal sacrifices to succeed and have to work hard and not always do exactly what we wish. I'm 21, would not do that but have nothing against any woman who does. There's nothing degrading about sex, it's co-equal. Your use of the word slut shows you believe in the double standard, you probably admire men who sleep around but somehow women are not respecting themself? That's outdated thinking and not equality.
35"you probably admire men who sleep around but somehow women are not respecting themself? "
REALLY? you got that from her comments? wow...
also, i have a feeling that all these anon comments are from the same person. i
36The word slut is by definition oppressive towards women and a double standard. The idea behind it is that women are better if they have fewer partners and doing something wrong if they sleep around, based on the old fetishization of virginity before birth control and the sexual revolution. This woman is self-hating, anti-feminist. Equality is no judgement, freedom. Men are rarely looked down upon for promiscuity, who critized Sam Malone or Wilt Chamberlain the way Madonna gets criticized? It's sexist and wrong and women should unite behind equality. If you want one partner or 5 or a low amount, great, you can do that, but it's sexist to judge one and not the other. Also, she has an arrogant thing, Brandy, where people who don't agree with her are "not intelligent". I got 2380 on the SAT, one more question and I'd have had a perfect score, and only 500 kids a year get that in the whole U.S. So I'll put my intelligence against hers any day of the week. Intelligent people disagree, there are girls smarter than I who have slept with far more men and girls smarter than I who have waited to be married, but it's just arrogant to say if you agree to be a double-standard loving prude you're intelligent, if you don't you're less smart than I and a slut, which is in itself a sexist word.
37I agree, slut should go into the dustbin of history like f-a-g-g-o-t, the n word, etc. It's sexist and it divides us by sexual experience when we should be united against a common male oppressor as women. No woman should call another woman that.
38Hah, I agree with the first part, but men don't oppress me, they pleasure me. I never let a guy have me unless he eats me out for at least enough to make me orgasm first. I love men, but I keep them in their place and never let them oppress me. I agree though about the s word, that's just wrong. The irony is I hear more self-oppression from women, and many I know sleep around, it's like the n word, blacks use it more, more women use the s word. It's the most prejudice word you could imagine. It'd be like if a white person had a 4.0 GPA you call them a genius, and if a black person has a 4.0, you call them some insulting slur. Screw that, if men who score lots of women are studs and players and heroes, then Madonna's my hero, she's had sex with over 1,000 men all of whom are gorgous, hah. So I'm a Queen if I get to 100 some day, or something positive. Sex with lots of people is a conquest, the ultimate rush, and the ultimate achievement and keeps you in touch with the diversity of humanity, not cooped up with one dull dude. I'm proud to be a player, always will be. New school baby, I respect myself by using my body to the fullest and experiencing all I can before I get old, I affirm myself. I am a slut, and like men, a hero, a Queen. LOL. That's my life, I never saw so many girls who think like me and aren't afraid to say it.
39You know, we really are still oppressed like gays and lesbians were 20 years ago. I myself am a promiscuous woman. I'm 23 and plan to get a PhD, didn't want a needy boyfriend in college as I wouldn't have gotten a good test score or grades, don't want one now, don't want one until maybe 30. I do want kids and a husband one day, but I don't want a guy on my case when I need to study and work hard and I don't want to live without sex. Women need to say proudly, I am a slut, to me sex is natural, and meaningless sex is all I can handle in concert with my other goals. Therefore, I will have casual sex until I'm ready. Just like black-white couples had to fight to be accepted in the '60s and gays and lesbians in the '70s and '80s and even now, we have to fight for our right to be free and open in the next decade, to admit who we are and embrace it and love it. Promiscuous women are in the closet now. We are forced to live a lie, live in the shadows, and we are oppressed. We have the right to be promiscuous and adventurous and open-minded and not be judged. This is the new civil rights struggle of the '10s and '20s. I have a guy coming over tonight, don't like him, wouldn't marry him, don't even enjoy his lame jokes. However, he looks good and is good in bed, I enjoy 69ing with him, making out and yes, the horror, having mindless sex with him. I have 2 others like them, see them each once a week, but they know not to talk. I have to hide who I am except with a couple close friends. It's no different from forcing gays into the closet.
40Women like sex as much as men. I read this thread with great interest and am a man who's slept with over 200 women. Truth is, if a girl sleeps around at school, she gets hassled, whispered about, plus older guys are better at sex. If she posts discreetly on a web site, she gets the sex she wants, plus the money. Plus the guy is embarassed he paid, so she's guaranteed he won't talk. Trust me, if it were more acceptable for women to sleep around for free, fewer would become prostitutes. It is not not valuing your body, it's women sitting there thinking, I want sex, but if I do this I'll get hassled, if I do that, I'll get money, guaranteed anonymity, guaranteed safety with condoms, and respect. They are valuing their bodies. It's like athletes. When they fail we say they're wasting their god given talent. Same for hot women, if they have no sex with anyone, they're wasting a beautiful thing. If they can get one lover who's good, great, but not all can or want to. We are about freedom. Soldiers die for our freedom, not to go back to the '50s. Brandy's argument boils down to if you don't agree with me, you're not intelligent. Basic fallacy, read a formal logic book. Intelligent people can disagree.
41wh*res.
42Enjoy those STD's! I'm sure that Louis Vuitton bag was worth it. No, those good grade were worth it. That's right. That's not respectable. Sex for money is a cop out for being LAZY. Just lay on your back and get f*cked and let everyone know what a big wh*re you hookers are.
43Lazy, hah. I respect them and wish I could do it. My sister does it, I still might, am 18. It's hard work. Let's face it, whatever pays better is harder work.
44True dat. So true that. If $200 an hour were easy, everyone would do it. It's basic economics. Prostitution is one of the most prestigious, admirable and beneficial to society of professions and is older than any other. Some make 300 an hour. You don't get loot like that without sacrifice, either you got an education in something most couldn't stand or you sacrifice your very self for another sad and needy person's pleasure and make them feel special for a moment in time. Men need that and I feel proud to bring them from so low to so high, so fast. It's something I block out, pretend I'm with Brad Pitt, find ways to deal with it psychologically, and no, I don't do drugs. I feel proud in that I bring great joy to men with whom I truly empathize as well as am paid an amount that shows respect and greatfulness. My mom is a waitress and I haven't seen my dad since I was 6, but I got into Duke, an incredible college I love. No one knows what I do, and I just do a little in NC, mostly travel weekends and vacations to NYC, Vegas, and other locales. It's legal in Rhode Island so I go there a lot. I am proud of what I do and many men really appreciate me. I help many, help myself, and hurt no one. The things you write are silly, respect, you get respect if you're compensated. There's no honor in virginity. Everyone thinks virgins are silly and laughs at them. I can never admit this but hey, we all have secrets, and I secretly love it. I loved that story about the guy in Texas, that sounds about how I started except he offered me.
45Double true. Nobody gives nobody nothin' in this country, you gotta take it. You gotta do something out of the ordinary to go from poor to even upper middle class. You'd be amazed how many upper class women have a secret past. It's hard, psychologically, physically, mentally, and in terms of living a lie because many in society still aren't open minded. To go from the bottom to the top, you don't follow the crowd. You can study like a maniac and sleep 5 hours a night (the Asian and Russian immigrant way), do prostitution, or find another way, maybe get lucky and win the lottery. I admire these women. They really do a great favor to people who need it. My wife went to jail for 2 months for check forging and prostitutes were the only way I was unable to cheat on her and am still raising my kids, never had an affair. I also have a buddy who's just too ugly, got burned as a kid. No chance for him but this, sad but true dat double true.
46ANON WITH THOSE FAKE NAMES WE KNOW IT'S ALL ONE PERSON. STOP IT
47I feel sympathy for these girls. If you don't have the right brands, no one takes you seriously in college. It's very materialistic. Luckily my parents give me enough to afford school, not work, take Summer vacations and still shop a lot. I know I'm lucky though, I didn't know how much poverty there was. I really don't enjoy sex much. I'm torn. I don't dislike it as much as a crummy job. If I had to choose between living well as I do now and having time for study and social things and clubs and sleeping around a bit and being celibate and living real poor and not being popular, or taking a crummy job, I'm not sure which I'd choose. I'd like to think I'd just be happy to be a poor girl, but I'm not sure. I do feel sympathy for the poor though. I hate men. I'm not gay either, I just avoid the whole situation. I feel they all see me as a wh*re even though I'm a 20-year old near virgin who only had sex twice in high school and hated it both times. It's nasty. But then again, some of the jobs girls have around here are nasty too.
48Oh B***S***! Come on! Everyone poor is cool in college, most people are poor, barely skate by. I could see doing this to get a degree or even to have more time to study so your grades are better, but never for a purse or a dress, I'd feel bad wearing it. There's a difference between something you want and something you need, and girls have forgotten about that. You need a degree and time to study. You want a Louis Vitton handbag or a fancy dress. I'd go to school in a hefty bag before I did this. GPA is an honrable reason to strip or escort, or tuition, but not base materialism. You're selling your soul to kiss up to the paradigm that values people based on brands, based on worship of the false god of materialism. How bourgeosie can you get? You seem to rebel by breaking free of the confines of the old sexual double standard and sexism and repression of sexuality in general, then you just mindlessly go brand-name shopping, which is about the least rebellious thing you can do. It's a weird mix and thoughtless.
49Make sure you take your brand names with your to hell.
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