First of all it isn't "safe". There's no way to have totally "safe" sex. Esp. with a bunch of strangers.

If you love life is sagging, try doing it in another place, getting some toys, trying a few different positions, maybe get a naughty movie.

To me this isn't cool. Maybe to some people, but I could NEVER do it.

I would be interested in going to a swingers club to WATCH ONLY with my hubby. I believe this is called light swinging or voyeurism. We've talked about that a few times but have yet to do it. There are a couple of clubs here in Atlanta and a friend went with her partner to watch and had a really good time.

As far as actually participating with anybody else, I know for a fact that I am NOT READY to do that. I am, however, trying to be open-minded to the idea. I read somewhere that most couples with an open relationship have a particularly strong bond with each other. For right now though, I know that I would not be able to handle it.

My boyfriend and I are pretty open to new things. I don't know what he woudl think about this, if he would get too jealous, but we have tried things along these lines before and they turned out pretty fun!
Perhaps a first for everything!

Oh my life.
If you are so bored in the bedroom that you need to introduce OTHER PEOPLE then I think it's time to call it quits.

=)

A little while back my mom told me she and my dad were getting into swinging. I was totally freaked out before I realized it was a joke.

No way. If we were to do something like that, I'd never be able to look at my husband in the same way or have the same level of trust I have for him now again. I'm sure he'd feel the same way about me. There are better ways of spicing things up than to go outside your marriage/partnership.

We joke about this, but it would never happen--my boyfriend would not be able to see me with someone else, and vice versa. Just watching would be fine--just sayin!

Not in a million years. Not only is it something we're not personally interested in, but it would be a huge violation of our religious beliefs.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned and uptight, but I cannot divorce the idea of sex from the idea of love. I would seriously be too insecure, agitated and upset to have sex with anybody that I wasn't in a strong, committed, loving and exclusive relationship (which at this point in my life means marriage). I find the prospect of feeling that kind of connection with two men at the same time to be unlikely. If other people enjoy it, fine, but it's just not for me.

The thought of my husband with another woman makes me want to vomit!

I know dear is trying to approach the subject unbiased...but I have to say, IMHO there is nothing ok about this. it completely disprespects both people in the relationship, and please...no one gets jealous? so when your husband sleeps with someone you think is hotter than you, you aren't gonna worry he may enjoy her more than you?

this is ridiculous, sorry if i offen anyone, but one of my friends dad and step-mom do this and it isn't as glamorous as this article makes it seem...

If you can't tell, i would NEVER do this. EVER.

I agree with fluffyhelen!

No way could I handle this...although talking about doing it can spice things up especially if it's real descriptive...that's safe sex w/out cheating.(lol)

That is a disgusting suggestion. What a slap in the face to the arrangement of marriage. If you're bored in the bedroom have sex with other couples? Are you insane? Good people use morals and have decency despite what may be the popular thing to do. How irresponsible to condone or even give attention to this travesty. Shame on you

No way!! NEVER EVER EVA!

He's mine!

Mine mine mine!

Get your own perfect man!

Tee hee...

Nope, I would never share my beautiful man!

Marriage is sacred!

I adore him & only him...

ummm...it's not really my cup of tea but if others want to do it and it works for them, then that's their deal. but it's not my thing.

I *could* see the appeal in it, because everyone has fantasies, but there is too much potential for it go horrible wrong.

Personally I could never do it because thought of my husband being with another woman makes me see red. And I know he feels the same way. Our sex life is between us and us alone.

don't want my baby to be with anyone but me!

we aren't animals and sex isn't something that higher forms of life engage in w/o emotional consequenses. being faithful means just that. just because celebs act as if their choices have no consequences doesn't mean anyone else should do that. after all, they are the ones in rehab and jail now aren't they? limits and a moral code are healthy and will serve you better in the long run than trying to hop from bed to bed pretending that you are "free". life is about more than sexual gratification and the suggestion that this would be an easy thing to try (like a new meatloaf recepie) makes me queasy. NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOO i wouldn't

I'm with fluffyhelen here.

I would be incredibly jealous and would never ever want to see my boyfriend having sex with another woman.

Not for me. If other consenting adults are up for it though, I'm not going to judge them. Well, out loud anyway.

no i would never do this. seeing my boyfriend having sex with another woman would kill me! and i totally agree with ClassicsDiva. i feel the same way too.

I would never do this. Movies, books, toys or games behind our closed door, but never would another person be involved in our intimate life. To each his own, but not in my home!

No way!! that's not right, thats not what a relationship is about! it's definitely cheating.

I'm not necessarily against it (none of my business what others do) but it would be TERRIBLE for us. One of our similarities is intense jealousy.

No.....I couldn't even imagine my husband being fine with me having sex with a strange man and i know it's not ok with me vice versa with him either.

I could never handle it but I don't think it's cheating when both partners agree to it so I didn't select anything because I would have said "other".

I think most people would obsess over wondering if their partner found the other person more enjoyable.....I know I could never go through with it, and my husband feels the same way.

no no no. i dont share.

No, I really don't think so! My husband and I are perfectly happy with having sex, just the two of us! lol

Never! I would never in a million years do that!

Nope.

So why bother with being in a relationship if you're not going to be monogamous? Totally against my beliefs and ethics.

I don't think we would make it. I couldn't imagine myself touch other man, and my husband is also not a kind of it. We watched it in a movie, and he has that disgusted look when he saw it.

its a pure fantasy that shouldn't really be made real. especially if you had a serious relationship.. for my relationship with my bf, never.

This is the first Dear Sugar post that I found inappropriate... it is totally outrageous to suggest something so trashy and ew.. . come on, is there anything more disrespectful of a relationship?

I feel like the odd woman out. If both people are willing to do it and under certain conditions then yeah why not. I can't say I'm ever going to do it but it sounds kind of hot actually.

Man, i have jealousy issues. And the thought of some girl all over my boyfriend makes me want to stab a girl.haha. My brother and his wife however are swingers and they are so happy together and it works for them. So I'm not against it, but I could never do it.

Down right sinful!

No Way!!
What if they person you were "swinging it" with was bad in bed?
All that build up for a letdown?
Or worse yet!
What if it was the best you ever had??
How are you gonna go home after that?

Hell no! i think that if you love someone, u wouldnt even think of being with someone else and that u shouldnt even consider sharing ure partner.