Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario requiring your advice. (Have some awkward tales of your own? Join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.)
"I have a co-worker who I like except for one extremely annoying habit of hers: when she tries to get my attention, she pats me on the head. I'm not touchy-feely to begin with, and would jump if someone tapped my shoulder, so this is really too much. Plus, it almost feels like I'm being condescended to. Don't you pat babies and puppies on the head? I want to tell her without getting too defensive that I really wish she'd stop this and just email me before she comes over, instead of patting me on the damn head! What's the best way to do this?"
Dress for Less
Yoox
Lee
oh god this would make me nuts too!! i hate when people tap me...it's not that i'm not touchy feely - i'm okay with the odd coworker giving me a hug (if we're close like that) but the tapping, it's just so obnoxious
i'd just be up front and honest...wait until you're in a jokey mood and just be totally honest - can you stop patting me, i feel like a dog, and i don't really like it!
1yea you need to flat out tell her, "could you please not do that, I feel like a dog"... or make a joke and say "or I'll start insisting you scratch behind my ears and give me treats"
2Ugh, I know how you feel! My older brother still does this sometimes even though we're both in college! It's a little more understandable though because he IS my older brother. I'm not very touchy feely either.
3Great advice from the ladies above! "I feel like a cute little puppy when you do that . . . please knock it off."
4Yah, be honest and say "I don't like that."
5i would start patting her on the head!
6then ask her if she likes it, and tell her to quit it!
I would say in a friendly way, "Girl, don't do that. I don't like it." Say it with a smile, and I think it would take the edge off.
7I would crack up and go "OMG, you and that weird habit! WHat am I, a puppy?" - if you're laughing, it will make her more at ease than if you look like you're angry.
8I have a friend who likes to "pet" people's heads. It's not quite playing w/ your hair, it's petting and I hated, so finally I told her "I hate it when people touch my head like that" and she stopped and wasn't upset or anything. Try not to make it personal, just tell her you don't like anyone doing it.
9unacceptable, very condescending and she needs to be told not to confront you like that again.
10I'd turn around and pat her back!
11because i'm non-confrontational (a.k.a. a wimp haha)
12next time she taps me on the head, i would go "ow!" and grab my head. then be like "sorry, i've got a bruise there. mind tapping me on the shoulder from now on?"
I would just say, "stop that. it's annoying." But that's just me....
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